Deeply regret being so short sighted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, don't feel bad for yourself. Deep down inside you knew you did not have the aptitude nor the discipline to become a computer scientists or an attorney. It's easy to say that now....but you knew it back them. IF you are still attractive at 35, just find a rich mate to marry.

this, i have sympathy for you OP. But rewriting history wont help. There was a reason you didnt study STEM or law

[Anonymous]

Op, keep switching jobs in non-profit or for profit, and you will get there! Learn new skills and keep moving, try not to stay more than two years in a job unless you LOVE it.

You are at $65 aim for plus $20K next job, then $15K the following, you will be making more than $100K in less than five years!

[Anonymous]

Your father failed you. He should have put you in more situating for opportunities because you have the chance to see the world you could have done so many more things and connected to people.

Instead, you were in your gilded cage and only had servants to assist you. You should have been speaking at least a half dozen languages and be able to navigate anything anywhere in the world by the time you were an adult.

But now you are grown up and you have to fix your own problems and can't blame your parents. It's not to late to go back to school even if part time and change your career. What were the things you loved to do the most? Can they align with a productive, profitable career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked with a senior partner at my consulting firm whose daughter was in high school. She drove a Mercedes SUV, lived in a giant house in McLean and they had a gorgeous 2nd home in a beach. She wanted to be a school teacher. I really hope her parents prepared her to marry well or plan to support her forever.

I live in the part of Arlington where everyone drives a Subaru and lives in a house built in the 1940s and we all politely pretend we’re all middle class. Except we’re not all middle class. When I was a kid in a small town in the Midwest, it was clear to me that some kids had bigger houses and nicer things and that my parents jobs didn’t allow for that lifestyle. I understood I needed to make money to have the life I wanted. My kids could easily look around our neighborhood and deduce that being a firefighter, journalist or preschool teacher affords the same lifestyle as a lawyer, lobbyist, or dual GS-15 household. I want to make sure my kids understand what different careers potentially make and how that adds up. If they want to choose a less lucrative career, they may not be able to live in the DMV area.

I grew up lower income to immigrant parents, now live in a nice big house, go on international vacations to Europe,etc.. My kids live a really privileged life, but I tell them how expensive it is to live like we do, so if they want to live like they do now in the future, they'd better get a highish paying job.

We are pretty honest with them about how much things cost -- mortgage, car, insurance, college. One time we were in Europe over a summer, and we had ice cream everyday. I told them that this was not a cheap thing and had DC calculate how much we spent on just ice cream in the two weeks we were there. It was eye opening for DC.

I'm very grateful that I can provide such a privilege life for my kids, but I want them to know that they are privileged and how much effort goes into providing that privilege.

They can't say we never told them.

it won't matter what you tell them or the cost of the ice cream cone. They know they have it much easier and their performance will adjust accordingly. Trust me....

PP here.. I don't disagree, sadly. That's why I stated thaty they can't say we never told them.

It's one of those things where they have to experience it for themselves to truly get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, I have an interesting story as I grew up abroad with a diplomat father. Due to his career and related status, I had a very very nice life where I grew up in beautiful homes around the world, chauffeurs, cooks and nannies abound. Plus, we had a car with a flag on it and people gasped in awe whenever we arrived anywhere.

However, we weren't wealthy as the diplomatic corps is not known for its high incomes. My father always advised me to pursue a career that will bring me a good income. He told me to sign up for computer science and math classes or business classes. When I told him I was not interested in CS and I studied English Lit instead, he advised me to pursue law. I said law was boring. After graduating I pursued the worst thing you can; non-profits.

I was so stupid, naïve and idealistic. I got sucked in by their pretty marketing and truly, having grown up abroad, I had seem poverty and privilege in all its forms. I felt lucky and wanted to make a difference.

Lo and behold, here I am at 35 in a DC non-profit grinding away with a pitiful income of 63k. Meanwhile, my smarter friends, all pursued law and business and are living amazing lives. I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth and did NOT realize until now that for normal people, you get to live in a nice house and go on nice vacations by making MONEY!! Not by trying to save the world in an underpaid job.

UGH UGH. What a life.

Recognize that you just weren't/aren't THAT person! (the person who wants to do computer sci or law). You are regretting that you don't have the fruits of comsci and law, but you were never going to have those fruits because you weren't the person who likes comsci or law. You are where you are because it was a better fit for who you are. You value the mission.

[Anonymous]

Does it make sense to get an MBA? Shorter commitment than law school and starting salaries are good if you go to the right school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So find work in the corporate world? You have plenty of time to raise your salary.

If you were going to be miserable as a lawyer though, it's good you didn't pursue it. Life with money is worthless if you're working 928347287634 hours at a job you hate.

+1. If you're at a law firm, you can never go on vacation? Your spouse and kids will go on vacations with a nanny. Not you.

[Anonymous]

You can then it around. Mu DH made a massive career switch at age 40. He went from being a boring government contractor pushing paper and dealing with petty politics a d into IT sales. He's 6 years in and with his RSUs alone super funded both our kids 529s. He usually makes around 400-550k.

It was a gigantic risk and very scary, but he wasn't afraid to fail and wasn't afraid to put himself out there, even at age 40. He's currently trying looking foe a new job now at a pre IPO and his story is one that hiring managers gobble up. Everyone loves a transformation story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can then it around. Mu DH made a massive career switch at age 40. He went from being a boring government contractor pushing paper and dealing with petty politics a d into IT sales. He's 6 years in and with his RSUs alone super funded both our kids 529s. He usually makes around 400-550k.

It was a gigantic risk and very scary, but he wasn't afraid to fail and wasn't afraid to put himself out there, even at age 40. He's currently trying looking foe a new job now at a pre IPO and his story is one that hiring managers gobble up. Everyone loves a transformation story.

PP, I love your DH's story. Can you say more about how he made the leap into IT sales?

[Anonymous]

OP, I grew up in a pretty middle class, blue collar family and still was swayed by the idea of this type of career (although for me it was more "save the whales"). My parents supported this career trajectory (but lets be honest, would I have listened if they didn't?). After a few years of Americorps and similar low-paying internships post-undergrad I went back to grad school and it took my master's advisor saying, hey, you'd have a lot more options if you take some stats classes, to realize I needed a job that would provide enough salary to pay off my student loans. I still applied to the non-profits but ended up as a govt contractor and transitioned to a Fed a few years later.

I guess what I'm saying is, it's not too late to obtain additional skills that would broaden your options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your father failed you. He should have put you in more situating for opportunities because you have the chance to see the world you could have done so many more things and connected to people.

Instead, you were in your gilded cage and only had servants to assist you. You should have been speaking at least a half dozen languages and be able to navigate anything anywhere in the world by the time you were an adult.

But now you are grown up and you have to fix your own problems and can't blame your parents. It's not to late to go back to school even if part time and change your career. What were the things you loved to do the most? Can they align with a productive, profitable career?

I disagree. OP's father told them to consider different career options. The father worked his way up the diplomatic ranks, that was earned. OP doesn't comprehend that they are in charge of their destiny and decisions. I grew up in UMC home but I have an internal drive and hustle mentality that serves me well. It wasn't taught to me, nor did my parents tell me how to be this way. Sounds like OP received a higher education and made choices that they now regret by not creating better opportunities.

OP, get your resume together. Reach out to your friends and business contacts. Go find yourself a better opportunity. They are out there. You have to look for it, it is not waiting around for you! Go get it.

[Anonymous]

I made $143k at the nonprofit I quit last year, so I suggest you fix your resume and get out there and beat feet to a new job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can then it around. Mu DH made a massive career switch at age 40. He went from being a boring government contractor pushing paper and dealing with petty politics a d into IT sales. He's 6 years in and with his RSUs alone super funded both our kids 529s. He usually makes around 400-550k.

It was a gigantic risk and very scary, but he wasn't afraid to fail and wasn't afraid to put himself out there, even at age 40. He's currently trying looking foe a new job now at a pre IPO and his story is one that hiring managers gobble up. Everyone loves a transformation story.

PP, I love your DH's story. Can you say more about how he made the leap into IT sales?

We have a lot of friends in IT sales and would see the money they made. His one friend put his neck out for him and referred him and he got a seat at the table. I really gotta give him credit. He doesn't accept complacency ans isn't afraid of being uncomfortable.

Long before this change he joined toastmasters so he could get comfortable in front of groups speaking. I honestly think that was helpful in a weird way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we should be friends. I also grew up between the US and abroad and pursued a career in the nonprofit world--except I did that because I didn't know any better. I come from a very blue collar family and I didn't know any lawyers/consultants/etc. The nonprofit world is hellish, and I couldn't wait to get out. I am now 36 and managed to transition into tech last year--you should look into that.

What did you transition into in tech? I'm another person from a more modest background, now a mid-level fed feeling kind of stuck, and like I'm too old at 36 to make a switch. My friends who went into UX or data science all transitioned immediately after grad school around 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I made $143k at the nonprofit I quit last year, so I suggest you fix your resume and get out there and beat feet to a new job

What is the difference between someone like this and someone like OP- the type of nonprofit they work at, or just the positions they're in?
- someone not in the nonprofit world