Deeply regret being so short sighted

[Anonymous]

I am sorry but you had all the advantage but not the drive to pursue those career you may not have been successful in those careers anyway.

[Anonymous]

What kind of nonprofit?

I'm an english lit major who still went into a legal area because I truly do love the law. I work alongside lawyers and make the same as them- 135k and I'm 35. There are lots of jobs out there, you just have to find them and hustle a bit more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, I have an interesting story as I grew up abroad with a diplomat father. Due to his career and related status, I had a very very nice life where I grew up in beautiful homes around the world, chauffeurs, cooks and nannies abound. Plus, we had a car with a flag on it and people gasped in awe whenever we arrived anywhere.

However, we weren't wealthy as the diplomatic corps is not known for its high incomes. My father always advised me to pursue a career that will bring me a good income. He told me to sign up for computer science and math classes or business classes. When I told him I was not interested in CS and I studied English Lit instead, he advised me to pursue law. I said law was boring. After graduating I pursued the worst thing you can; non-profits.

I was so stupid, naïve and idealistic. I got sucked in by their pretty marketing and truly, having grown up abroad, I had seem poverty and privilege in all its forms. I felt lucky and wanted to make a difference.

Lo and behold, here I am at 35 in a DC non-profit grinding away with a pitiful income of 63k. Meanwhile, my smarter friends, all pursued law and business and are living amazing lives. I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth and did NOT realize until now that for normal people, you get to live in a nice house and go on nice vacations by making MONEY!! Not by trying to save the world in an underpaid job.

UGH UGH. What a life.

OP, you might find this helpful. I certainly did. Lots of people have regrets.

https://www.npr.org/2022/03/16/1087010308/the-power-of-regret-how-examining-regret-can-help-you-live-a-meaningful-life

[Anonymous]

I studied IR and started in the non-profit world. I moved to federal consulting at a small company and started making 85k. Now I’m back at a non-profit but making 130k (it’s an association). I may move to the private sector again but this was from 30-35 so you can make moves. Most of my friends made similar moves and make good money at private companies (the big consulting firms or through a management program they found at a place like FedEx) - all from the same world. Although the difference might be we didn’t grow up with a silver spoon and learned how to hustle.

[Anonymous]

What is most fulfilling? Figure that out. Go from there.

[Anonymous]

Have you thought about trying to get into the foreign service and basically replicating the life you enjoyed as a kid? I have several friends who are in this and they do seem to live high on the hog, with great houses, nannies, private schools, etc. They’d never be able to afford those things on their salaries but since it’s our taxes footing the bill….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, I have an interesting story as I grew up abroad with a diplomat father. Due to his career and related status, I had a very very nice life where I grew up in beautiful homes around the world, chauffeurs, cooks and nannies abound. Plus, we had a car with a flag on it and people gasped in awe whenever we arrived anywhere.

However, we weren't wealthy as the diplomatic corps is not known for its high incomes. My father always advised me to pursue a career that will bring me a good income. He told me to sign up for computer science and math classes or business classes. When I told him I was not interested in CS and I studied English Lit instead, he advised me to pursue law. I said law was boring. After graduating I pursued the worst thing you can; non-profits.

I was so stupid, naïve and idealistic. I got sucked in by their pretty marketing and truly, having grown up abroad, I had seem poverty and privilege in all its forms. I felt lucky and wanted to make a difference.

Lo and behold, here I am at 35 in a DC non-profit grinding away with a pitiful income of 63k. Meanwhile, my smarter friends, all pursued law and business and are living amazing lives. I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth and did NOT realize until now that for normal people, you get to live in a nice house and go on nice vacations by making MONEY!! Not by trying to save the world in an underpaid job.

UGH UGH. What a life.

What does your father say now? Finally follow his advice! Also there’s a little bit of time to turn it around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's plenty of people with basket weaving degrees earning $150k+. In sales, or consulting, or as a Director of whatever. You need to work towards promotion, or lateral into higher paid position elsewhere, or do consulting or sales.

Yep, me. Degree in English. Making $170 at 32. Been in consulting since I graduated college.

[Anonymous]

I worked with a senior partner at my consulting firm whose daughter was in high school. She drove a Mercedes SUV, lived in a giant house in McLean and they had a gorgeous 2nd home in a beach. She wanted to be a school teacher. I really hope her parents prepared her to marry well or plan to support her forever.

I live in the part of Arlington where everyone drives a Subaru and lives in a house built in the 1940s and we all politely pretend we’re all middle class. Except we’re not all middle class. When I was a kid in a small town in the Midwest, it was clear to me that some kids had bigger houses and nicer things and that my parents jobs didn’t allow for that lifestyle. I understood I needed to make money to have the life I wanted. My kids could easily look around our neighborhood and deduce that being a firefighter, journalist or preschool teacher affords the same lifestyle as a lawyer, lobbyist, or dual GS-15 household. I want to make sure my kids understand what different careers potentially make and how that adds up. If they want to choose a less lucrative career, they may not be able to live in the DMV area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's plenty of people with basket weaving degrees earning $150k+. In sales, or consulting, or as a Director of whatever. You need to work towards promotion, or lateral into higher paid position elsewhere, or do consulting or sales.

Yep, me. Degree in English. Making $170 at 32. Been in consulting since I graduated college.

How did you get a job in consulting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's plenty of people with basket weaving degrees earning $150k+. In sales, or consulting, or as a Director of whatever. You need to work towards promotion, or lateral into higher paid position elsewhere, or do consulting or sales.

Yep, me. Degree in English. Making $170 at 32. Been in consulting since I graduated college.

How did you get a job in consulting?

Started in government consulting after college by applying to a pm role. Moved into the big 4 and stayed there for a while in commercial consulting. Honestly, all of my partners have said they just look for smart people they can put in front of clients. The main skill needed is learning how to problem solve in my opinion. A lot of my peers also have degrees in english, history, psych. OP the easiest way to jump into a new career would be to learn new skills. Salesforce is hot and many of my friends have jumped into that career. It's boring but it pays well. Check out Trailhead. My focus is human capital.

[Anonymous]

Also, can you switch to a different non-profit or try and acquire skills/degree/training to get on the management track? I am in leadership at a non-profit, not much older than you (40) and make $210k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked with a senior partner at my consulting firm whose daughter was in high school. She drove a Mercedes SUV, lived in a giant house in McLean and they had a gorgeous 2nd home in a beach. She wanted to be a school teacher. I really hope her parents prepared her to marry well or plan to support her forever.

I live in the part of Arlington where everyone drives a Subaru and lives in a house built in the 1940s and we all politely pretend we’re all middle class. Except we’re not all middle class. When I was a kid in a small town in the Midwest, it was clear to me that some kids had bigger houses and nicer things and that my parents jobs didn’t allow for that lifestyle. I understood I needed to make money to have the life I wanted. My kids could easily look around our neighborhood and deduce that being a firefighter, journalist or preschool teacher affords the same lifestyle as a lawyer, lobbyist, or dual GS-15 household. I want to make sure my kids understand what different careers potentially make and how that adds up. If they want to choose a less lucrative career, they may not be able to live in the DMV area.

I grew up lower income to immigrant parents, now live in a nice big house, go on international vacations to Europe,etc.. My kids live a really privileged life, but I tell them how expensive it is to live like we do, so if they want to live like they do now in the future, they'd better get a highish paying job.

We are pretty honest with them about how much things cost -- mortgage, car, insurance, college. One time we were in Europe over a summer, and we had ice cream everyday. I told them that this was not a cheap thing and had DC calculate how much we spent on just ice cream in the two weeks we were there. It was eye opening for DC.

I'm very grateful that I can provide such a privilege life for my kids, but I want them to know that they are privileged and how much effort goes into providing that privilege.

They can't say we never told them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked with a senior partner at my consulting firm whose daughter was in high school. She drove a Mercedes SUV, lived in a giant house in McLean and they had a gorgeous 2nd home in a beach. She wanted to be a school teacher. I really hope her parents prepared her to marry well or plan to support her forever.

I live in the part of Arlington where everyone drives a Subaru and lives in a house built in the 1940s and we all politely pretend we’re all middle class. Except we’re not all middle class. When I was a kid in a small town in the Midwest, it was clear to me that some kids had bigger houses and nicer things and that my parents jobs didn’t allow for that lifestyle. I understood I needed to make money to have the life I wanted. My kids could easily look around our neighborhood and deduce that being a firefighter, journalist or preschool teacher affords the same lifestyle as a lawyer, lobbyist, or dual GS-15 household. I want to make sure my kids understand what different careers potentially make and how that adds up. If they want to choose a less lucrative career, they may not be able to live in the DMV area.

I grew up lower income to immigrant parents, now live in a nice big house, go on international vacations to Europe,etc.. My kids live a really privileged life, but I tell them how expensive it is to live like we do, so if they want to live like they do now in the future, they'd better get a highish paying job.

We are pretty honest with them about how much things cost -- mortgage, car, insurance, college. One time we were in Europe over a summer, and we had ice cream everyday. I told them that this was not a cheap thing and had DC calculate how much we spent on just ice cream in the two weeks we were there. It was eye opening for DC.

I'm very grateful that I can provide such a privilege life for my kids, but I want them to know that they are privileged and how much effort goes into providing that privilege.

They can't say we never told them.

it won't matter what you tell them or the cost of the ice cream cone. They know they have it much easier and their performance will adjust accordingly. Trust me....

[Anonymous]

OP, we should be friends. I also grew up between the US and abroad and pursued a career in the nonprofit world--except I did that because I didn't know any better. I come from a very blue collar family and I didn't know any lawyers/consultants/etc. The nonprofit world is hellish, and I couldn't wait to get out. I am now 36 and managed to transition into tech last year--you should look into that.