My spouse only gives our 6 year old unhealthy foods

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I have a similar dynamic with my husband. It isn't all junk food but he has a per-choice restrictive diet and always eats differently than us.

All my kids ate well as babies but as soon as they realized they could have whatever they wanted for dinner---like daddy---it has been a constant battle to not eat waffles and french fries everyday. He never tells them to eat what is on their plates and will make them what they want. We have had numerous conversations on it. He says they will go hungry if he doesn't do what he is doing. I counter that of course they want comfort foods over vegetables. It is honestly the only point of contention in our marriage.

The only thing that has worked is just talking to them as they get older about being healthy and fit. Things have improved, but it is still not great.

If you have any successes please come back and let me know.

OP here. I hope that when my 6 year old is somewhat older, I can reason with her regarding healthy foods. Right now, at her age, she can't comprehend the importance of eating healthy. We don't go to fast food places, neither do we order foods, but my spouse sometimes takes her to Burger King or MacDonald's. Like I mentioned earlier, I don't buy junk food ( no sodas, no cheap juices, no chips etc.), but then my spouse sneaks to the grocery store and fills in with the junk food that he likes to eat.

My 6 year old absolutely understands the importance of healthy eating. We talk about the role of nutrients, protein, healthy fat, and fun treats. She knows food is fuel and her body needs healthy food to keep growing big and strong. She’s 6, not 3. Stop babying her and explain WHY you want her to eat healthy foods and how to make good choices (which include treats).

I agree with this generally, but as long as the husband is undermining the message, it will not work well for a 6 year old. You need to find a way to get on the same page, even if it is for just one meal a day.

This is why I said she needs to stop pushing so hard. He is going to chafe at this. Just add some healthy food to the crap. He will come around, but not if she keeps trying to 100% control what they eat. Those of you saying for OP not to buy the stuff - that doesn't work. Her husband is a grown man that can go to the store, too. He has to come around, and trying to bludgeon him over the head isn't going to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you feed her healthy food 90% of the time, the 10% junk isn’t going to hurt her. And don’t let her eat school lunch if you’re concerned about junk because that stuff is horrible. Who cares if it comes back with her, just serve it to her for dinner or an after school snack. She may just not be hungry around lunch time.

Do you really serve your kid food that’s been sitting out for 8 hours?

[Anonymous]

The issue here is that you and your spouse are not even remotely on the same page. Children learn from their parents and right now neither of you are modeling healthy or appropriate behaviors. You two need to plan groceries and meals for the week- a balance of fruits, veggies as well as carbs, proteins and some treats. Shoot for moderation, variety and present things in different ways to see if there is a way she prefers things- then serve meals daily that all 3 of you eat together. You and your spouse are the problem, not the 6 year old.

[Anonymous]

Point to the fat people and tell her if you eat like them, you'll look like them and won't be good at sports or thinking. Have at me DCUM, it worked for my kids. All my kids are smart, bueatiful,, healthy athletes. I also tell them not to say that to other people because it will make them feel bad and they can look at me (and their dad) as examples of healthy athletic adults.

BTW I don't outwardly judge others, but this is anonymous. I guarantee you many others are like me, including your friends. It's how society/culture came to be.

[Anonymous]

I have a picky 7 year old who also eats school lunches and loves pizza, hot dogs and the like. He would never touch soup. I don't even try. Veggies are limited to carrots and cucumbers. With lots of efforts we have added sweet potatoes once a week and some asparagus. I supplement by juicing veggies (celery, beets, carrots, kale, apples) and making green smoothies. I don't feel too bad about his diet. I'm totally fine with chips a couple of times a week, bars for snack, ice cream or donuts now and then. As long as there is 1 fruit and 1 veggie a day, I declare my job is done. He understands the importance of healthy eating and genuinely tries, but it's hard to overcome the aversion. My younger one is not like that and eats everything. I would lower my expectations and go at his own pace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you feed her healthy food 90% of the time, the 10% junk isn’t going to hurt her. And don’t let her eat school lunch if you’re concerned about junk because that stuff is horrible. Who cares if it comes back with her, just serve it to her for dinner or an after school snack. She may just not be hungry around lunch time.

Do you really serve your kid food that’s been sitting out for 8 hours?

Yeah sorry, that's disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you feed her healthy food 90% of the time, the 10% junk isn’t going to hurt her. And don’t let her eat school lunch if you’re concerned about junk because that stuff is horrible. Who cares if it comes back with her, just serve it to her for dinner or an after school snack. She may just not be hungry around lunch time.

It is free. Even she takes a packed lunch, she will still get the crap lunch if she waits in line and asks for it. Same with the crap “breakfast” public school now makes available for free to everyone. Awesome more junk

https://virginiasolesmith.substack.com/p/please-stop-romanticizing-your-childs?s=r

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids don’t become unhealthy from bad food, they become unhealthy from a bad relationship with food. Keep providing access to good stuff and stop sweating it when they eat stuff that you personally don’t prefer them to eat. remember that family time and enjoyment are the other benefit of meals - not just the nutrition.

The less I try to push my kids to certain foods, the more balanced they eat.

Lol.

PP must have those rare unicorn kids In my house french fries would win the battle of veggies every time! OP, my DH is the same so yeah I try to include lots of veggies and home made meals and limit junk food and its a constant struggle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you feed her healthy food 90% of the time, the 10% junk isn’t going to hurt her. And don’t let her eat school lunch if you’re concerned about junk because that stuff is horrible. Who cares if it comes back with her, just serve it to her for dinner or an after school snack. She may just not be hungry around lunch time.

It is free. Even she takes a packed lunch, she will still get the crap lunch if she waits in line and asks for it. Same with the crap “breakfast” public school now makes available for free to everyone. Awesome more junk

https://virginiasolesmith.substack.com/p/please-stop-romanticizing-your-childs?s=r

Sorry disagree with the article. School lunches are garbage, so are school breakfasts. They are only helping to make the already overweight poor kids even more overweight. While schools are “required” to “serve” fruits and vegetables, no one takes them. There is always the hotdog, pizza, nuggets option nearly every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you feed her healthy food 90% of the time, the 10% junk isn’t going to hurt her. And don’t let her eat school lunch if you’re concerned about junk because that stuff is horrible. Who cares if it comes back with her, just serve it to her for dinner or an after school snack. She may just not be hungry around lunch time.

It is free. Even she takes a packed lunch, she will still get the crap lunch if she waits in line and asks for it. Same with the crap “breakfast” public school now makes available for free to everyone. Awesome more junk

https://virginiasolesmith.substack.com/p/please-stop-romanticizing-your-childs?s=r

I love this so much!

[Anonymous]

6 years old was peak food pickiness era for both our children. Don't give up, it gets better. I think it has to do with anxiety from a pretty big shift in school experience that happens at this age. Another approach is to deal with the anxiety, and the pickiness may follow.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for all the comments, I read each one of them. Today, it wasn't too bad, I made ground bison with organic brown rice pasta, our daughter actually ate it. She also had almost whole banana and little bit of orange pieces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Point to the fat people and tell her if you eat like them, you'll look like them and won't be good at sports or thinking. Have at me DCUM, it worked for my kids. All my kids are smart, bueatiful,, healthy athletes. I also tell them not to say that to other people because it will make them feel bad and they can look at me (and their dad) as examples of healthy athletic adults.

BTW I don't outwardly judge others, but this is anonymous. I guarantee you many others are like me, including your friends. It's how society/culture came to be.

Here’s that attention you ordered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids don’t become unhealthy from bad food, they become unhealthy from a bad relationship with food. Keep providing access to good stuff and stop sweating it when they eat stuff that you personally don’t prefer them to eat. remember that family time and enjoyment are the other benefit of meals - not just the nutrition.

The less I try to push my kids to certain foods, the more balanced they eat.

Lol.

PP must have those rare unicorn kids In my house french fries would win the battle of veggies every time! OP, my DH is the same so yeah I try to include lots of veggies and home made meals and limit junk food and its a constant struggle.

The research actually suggests that your kids are the unicorns! Most kids eat a range of foods when presented with a range of foods. And yes that includes the fries.

Just try a month where you opt out of the struggle and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all the comments, I read each one of them. Today, it wasn't too bad, I made ground bison with organic brown rice pasta, our daughter actually ate it. She also had almost whole banana and little bit of orange pieces.

Are you for real?