Women Quitting or Taking Leave of Absence to Manage Kids' College Applications?

[Anonymous]

"How is it your child's process if you dictate 2/3 of his/her options from the outset. And if your DC is unsure of acceptance at UVa or W&M, then s/he's stuck spending that one choice on a safety school.

I agree that the LOA approach is insane, but yours is a pretty drastic alternative and it certainly wouldn't be realistic for most families."

Why is 3 schools only drastic? Unless your kid is an uneven student, why isn't it pretty clear if they'd be better suited to George Mason or UVA? And not to put too fine a point on it, but unless the kid is paying for college without Mommy and Daddy helping at all, the parents' financial situation and willingness DOES dictate the options.

And couldn't you pay a lot of fees for the first semester of college for the price differential between 3 and 20 applications?

[Anonymous]

I am the 20 visit poster (okay, it may actually end up being 18 because I don't want to go to Texas). For the record I am not the one who responded to the pp. So the 20 apps is not a fair comparison. And I actually said my dd's goal is to apply to 8 schools, the point of visiting is to narrow down the group to those that are most realistic and appealing. 8 is under the average these days if you applying to competitive schools, although Sidwell caps at 9 schools.

I think the app fees are pretty small compared to tuition - in fact several schools she's looking at waive the app fees if you submit online. Even at $50-75 bucks each it's a drop in the bucket compared to 45-50k per year.

[Anonymous]

the point of visiting is to narrow down the group to those that are most realistic and appealing.

Most kids do that initial narrowing of the field without 18-20 campus visits!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

the point of visiting is to narrow down the group to those that are most realistic and appealing.

Most kids do that initial narrowing of the field without 18-20 campus visits!

Yes that has been made abundantly clear. That's just not our approach. Sorry it bothers people so darn much. Obviously these aren't the same people who are applying to 9-10 private schools for prek or k! We only did 3 of those.

[Anonymous]

PP, like you we applied to only three private schools; we did so because we felt there were only three private schools we would have DC attend instead of our public school. With colleges, however, I think applying to just three is too limiting and risks ending up with no good results. I guess I can't believe that a parent would unilaterally and arbitrarily impose such a limit on her child.

[Anonymous]

That's funny I didn't think of it that way. Our daughter actually applied to 13 private schools in this area and fortunately got into several. For college, she only applied to one since she was a recruited athlete. That made our life really easy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

the point of visiting is to narrow down the group to those that are most realistic and appealing.

Most kids do that initial narrowing of the field without 18-20 campus visits!

Yes that has been made abundantly clear. That's just not our approach. Sorry it bothers people so darn much. Obviously these aren't the same people who are applying to 9-10 private schools for prek or k! We only did 3 of those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, like you we applied to only three private schools; we did so because we felt there were only three private schools we would have DC attend instead of our public school. With colleges, however, I think applying to just three is too limiting and risks ending up with no good results. I guess I can't believe that a parent would unilaterally and arbitrarily impose such a limit on her child.

Totally agree and we had the same logic on private vs public. I am just a little surprised how critical people have been of my daughter's interest in visiting a broad range of schools in order to narrow her list to 8. Although I suspect some of these people are parents of young children so don't have actual experience with the current realities of applying to college. Oh well. We are happy with our approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, like you we applied to only three private schools; we did so because we felt there were only three private schools we would have DC attend instead of our public school. With colleges, however, I think applying to just three is too limiting and risks ending up with no good results. I guess I can't believe that a parent would unilaterally and arbitrarily impose such a limit on her child.

Totally agree and we had the same logic on private vs public. I am just a little surprised how critical people have been of my daughter's interest in visiting a broad range of schools in order to narrow her list to 8. Although I suspect some of these people are parents of young children so don't have actual experience with the current realities of applying to college. Oh well. We are happy with our approach.

Hi, I'm the PP you quoted. I agree that some of the parents posting may have younger children and be unfamiliar with the realities of college admissions these days. I interview for my college (Harvard), so I am familiar with the unpredictabilty of selective-college admissons. If one's child is aiming for selective colleges, 3 seems like a good number of colleges to which to apply if you can stand the risk of getting into none. I think 8 is a reasonable number of colleges to which to apply -- that's actually on the low end of the spectrum in this crazy age of applying to 20 schools -- and don't see a problem with touring many schools if that's what a child needs to identify the type of school that appeals. It's a different age now, when kids have more choices than ever, and they have preferences. This is not 25 years ago, when I applied to a few colleges, all sight unseen.

[Anonymous]

To 22:17 - well, sure, if you're willing to shell out for a school that nominally charges $45 to 50K per year, the app fees are nothing. Why would a family willing to pay that much for college have a second spouse WOH FT anyway?

We do not think it advisable to pay for private colleges. We don't believe in private education, actually. I'd eat my hat before I'd visit 8 schools. Don't parents who take all this time on college visits have multiple kids, hobbies, exercise, friends, volunteer work? You can't just take a LOA from those.

I don't see the attraction for a parent in making college admissions for one of your children a year or two long process equivalent to a part time job.

[Anonymous]

i did the whole bus around new england thing - rural and urban - sans parents and it was fine.
But i too interview kids for my college (Harvard as well) and poster who has said this process has changed is right on.

so i will take a pass on passing judgement. driving around w a kid in summer does sound enjoyable. the campuses are so pretty.

[Anonymous]

Let me just say, I graduated high school in 2004-not that long ago. I only applied to colleges out of state. I told my parents how much $$ I needed for applications and they provided checks for all but University of Vermont (they thought it was too hippy-liberal, whatever). I picked my college sight-unseen after whittling down from 8 choices, to 6 acceptances, to the 3 best scholarship offers. The first time I ever visited my school, besides the virtual tour online is when my parents drove me out to drop me off. I pretty much picked my school in Denver because I wanted to ski on the weekends and they gave me almost a full-ride.

I managed all my letters of recommendation, did all my applications completely devoid of parental help (besides the check for the application fee). No offense, but any kid who cannot do it themselves nowadays will not be able to deal with all the pressures of college. They will either get swept up in partying because it's the first time away from mommy and daddykins or they will have no time-management skills. With the internet as a tool, it is actually quite easy!!!

[Anonymous]

Just a comment to the Harvard interviewers. I'm not sure that the school would wish for people to identify themselves as interviewing for the school and make comments or recommendations about the college application process as though the interviewer role has somehow provided the interviewer with insights. I understand that this is a confidential process, and it would be unfortunate if the college were to have the impression that interviewers were citing their interviewing experience in what is essentially anonymous cocktail conversation. I am not a Harvard representative in any way, just someone who cares about the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a comment to the Harvard interviewers. I'm not sure that the school would wish for people to identify themselves as interviewing for the school and make comments or recommendations about the college application process as though the interviewer role has somehow provided the interviewer with insights. I understand that this is a confidential process, and it would be unfortunate if the college were to have the impression that interviewers were citing their interviewing experience in what is essentially anonymous cocktail conversation. I am not a Harvard representative in any way, just someone who cares about the process.

Harvard interviewers are responsble for knowing what they may and may not say to the public. I am 15:16. I have not said anything about the Harvard interview process. I said that my work as a college interviewer makes me familiar with the unpredictability of selective-college admissions, not that my work a Harvard interviewer, specifically, gives me special insight. In fact, anyone can tell from posts on this forum that the unpredictability fof college admissions is common knowledge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a comment to the Harvard interviewers. I'm not sure that the school would wish for people to identify themselves as interviewing for the school and make comments or recommendations about the college application process as though the interviewer role has somehow provided the interviewer with insights. I understand that this is a confidential process, and it would be unfortunate if the college were to have the impression that interviewers were citing their interviewing experience in what is essentially anonymous cocktail conversation. I am not a Harvard representative in any way, just someone who cares about the process.

Since this IS "anonynous cocktail conversation," why would you take any comments by any poster as "recommendations" for applying to colleges? You shouldn't.

How does a college interviewer's expression of personal opinion the general unpredictability of college admissions divulge any confidences? It doesn't.

You say you care about the process, but how is the process compromised if a reasonable person knows better than to take personal opinion expressed in this anonymous forum as advice? It isn't.

[Anonymous]

Why specify that you are an interviewer for a particular school in stating your views unless you intend for people to take something from that reference?