Why does this guy ignore me?

[Anonymous]

because you’re not hot …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see it now is like a weird egotistical challenge to figure out why I can’t even get this guy, who I’ve seen pretty much daily for over a year, to just respond in any way.

He can probably sense that it's a game for you.

[Anonymous]

In your post and follow-ups you sound like you're too much. He clearly does not want to engage, yet you keep engaging. It clearly is a pride thing for you, but he's getting stalker vibes from you. Ignore him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question, OP. If you were a regular who wasn’t “generally attractive,” would you think you were less entitled to this man’s attention?

I don’t think I’m entitled to anyone’s attention, but I think it’s odd to blankly stare at someone you see on the daily when they say hello to you. I guess I just wonder what his issue is with me that he doesn’t have with other people, men and women, who he interacts with. It comes off as rude and maybe this makes me insecure, also a little hurtful. When I started working out over a year ago I was dealing with a lot of body image stuff and an eating disorder, so this just stings a little, and I can’t explain why.

But what does you being “generally attractive” have to do with it? Would you interpret his behavior any differently if you weren’t “generally attractive”? You are the one who decided to include that in your post so presumably you felt it was relevant to the situation.

I just figured someone would ask if I was ugly, so I was covering all bases. Not smoking hot, not a dog, either.

I don’t buy that. I think you have some pretty deep insecurities about your appearance (and your worth as a person) and this guy ignoring you is causing them to go into overdrive because you’re questioning your attractiveness and therefore your worth as a person.

Another nail on the head. You’re so right. It’s exactly this too. It may sound conceited, but when I was overweight, I was invisible, for years. Then I lost weight and was suddenly noticed. I had a sort of imposter syndrome thing happening for a long time. This is the first person since I lost all my weight who makes me feel invisible again. And it never even started as a romantic thing. I was just being polite! As someone else put it earlier, now it’s MY turn not to give HIM that satisfaction.

I will ignore him completely from now on. Thanks everyone, I feel very enlightened. I’m actually really glad I asked this question because it all makes sense now. I appreciate you.

[Anonymous]

Lol women are so used to getting attention it's hilarious. There are hundreds of people that I ignore on a daily basis because I've got other things on my mind. I have friends and colleagues who I'm used to talking to or acknowledging. If some random person says hi to me at the gym, store, mall, etc. I might nod at best or just think they're a weirdo. There's nothing about it that needs to be "explained" other than you aren't the main character in life that you think you are. You're just another person in a sea of people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question, OP. If you were a regular who wasn’t “generally attractive,” would you think you were less entitled to this man’s attention?

I don’t think I’m entitled to anyone’s attention, but I think it’s odd to blankly stare at someone you see on the daily when they say hello to you. I guess I just wonder what his issue is with me that he doesn’t have with other people, men and women, who he interacts with. It comes off as rude and maybe this makes me insecure, also a little hurtful. When I started working out over a year ago I was dealing with a lot of body image stuff and an eating disorder, so this just stings a little, and I can’t explain why.

But what does you being “generally attractive” have to do with it? Would you interpret his behavior any differently if you weren’t “generally attractive”? You are the one who decided to include that in your post so presumably you felt it was relevant to the situation.

I just figured someone would ask if I was ugly, so I was covering all bases. Not smoking hot, not a dog, either.

I don’t buy that. I think you have some pretty deep insecurities about your appearance (and your worth as a person) and this guy ignoring you is causing them to go into overdrive because you’re questioning your attractiveness and therefore your worth as a person.

Another nail on the head. You’re so right. It’s exactly this too. It may sound conceited, but when I was overweight, I was invisible, for years. Then I lost weight and was suddenly noticed. I had a sort of imposter syndrome thing happening for a long time. This is the first person since I lost all my weight who makes me feel invisible again. And it never even started as a romantic thing. I was just being polite! As someone else put it earlier, now it’s MY turn not to give HIM that satisfaction.

I will ignore him completely from now on. Thanks everyone, I feel very enlightened. I’m actually really glad I asked this question because it all makes sense now. I appreciate you.

I mean, good for figuring it out? Sounds like you would benefit from therapy.

[Anonymous]

Good grief OP! Please get some therapy. You are not entitled to a response from him period and he's not responsible for whatever feelings you have over the situation. A good therapist will do you wonders.

[Anonymous]

Odd that this would happen to the main character. Must have been an oversight in the script.

[Anonymous]

I bet he doesn’t like you because your gym etiquette (or lack of) pisses him off. Do you not clean up after yourself, talk too much, take phone calls, scroll on you phone when “using” equipment, hog equipment, etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Odd that this would happen to the main character. Must have been an oversight in the script.

Yes, I got your joke the first time. I am already feeling pretty stupid by this point. Point taken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there any reasons there may have been talk about you in the men’s locker room?

Nah we're all way to busy trying not to see each other's horrid man-parts to talk about women.

[Anonymous]

Tell him you'll hold his kettlebells for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question, OP. If you were a regular who wasn’t “generally attractive,” would you think you were less entitled to this man’s attention?

I don’t think I’m entitled to anyone’s attention, but I think it’s odd to blankly stare at someone you see on the daily when they say hello to you. I guess I just wonder what his issue is with me that he doesn’t have with other people, men and women, who he interacts with. It comes off as rude and maybe this makes me insecure, also a little hurtful. When I started working out over a year ago I was dealing with a lot of body image stuff and an eating disorder, so this just stings a little, and I can’t explain why.

But what does you being “generally attractive” have to do with it? Would you interpret his behavior any differently if you weren’t “generally attractive”? You are the one who decided to include that in your post so presumably you felt it was relevant to the situation.

I just figured someone would ask if I was ugly, so I was covering all bases. Not smoking hot, not a dog, either.

I don’t buy that. I think you have some pretty deep insecurities about your appearance (and your worth as a person) and this guy ignoring you is causing them to go into overdrive because you’re questioning your attractiveness and therefore your worth as a person.

NP and BINGO. Your focus should be on yourself and why this is bothering you so much - not trying to figure out this random dude’s behavior.

My guess is that he’s a weird guy. But you are having your entire self-esteem on his reaction.

[Anonymous]

^* hanging

[Anonymous]

OP, can you imagine a guy posting this about a woman at the gym? Has there ever been a guy you got bad vibes from and tried to discourage without being rude? Probably by ignoring him?