Why does this guy ignore me?

[Anonymous]

This is so petty but it’s bothering me, so I’m coming to you all for opinions.

I consider myself to be a generally attractive, fit, woman in my early-30s. I’m a bit of a “gym rat” and I’m friendly with the “regulars”, both male and female, exchanging platonic camaraderie. Mostly everyone just waves or exchanges simple acknowledgments, occasionally brief small talk. There is one man who is around my age who never acknowledges me. I will smile and wave, or say hello, but he will always just stare at me with blank eyes and keep walking. I’ve seen him talking with other regulars, so I know it’s not just that he keeps to himself or anything like that.

I don’t know why this rejection bothers me so much. I’m not interested in him or anything like that, I’m friendly with everyone, but his blatant rebuffing baffles me. Why won’t he acknowledge me at all? It’s the strangest thing. It’s weird every time I see him and I don’t know if I should just ignore him?

[Anonymous]

He probably has head all the women on DCUM saying, "stay away from me at the gym, I'm just there to work out!"

[Anonymous]

Maybe he’s intimidated, maybe he’s a jerk who’s being deliberately cold because you’re being kind, maybe he’s gay?

[Anonymous]

He has some sort of social anxiety type issue. Leave the poor guy alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has some sort of social anxiety type issue. Leave the poor guy alone.

Why is he always talking to others then?

[Anonymous]

So stop being friendly with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He has some sort of social anxiety type issue. Leave the poor guy alone.

Why is he always talking to others then?

Maybe they aren’t strangers to him and you basically are.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he thinks you’re throwing yourself at him and he’s trying to let you know he’s not interested. But maybe he also made a pact with his now-deceased grandfather that he would never converse with somebody who looks like you. It’s really impossible to know.

[Anonymous]

I think you do like him. Otherwise this would not bother you.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps he's asocial, and has known the other regulars for longer? Perhaps he only talks to the men, because he's odd and doesn't interact with the women? Perhaps you're a different skin color, and he's racist? Who the heck knows?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you do like him. Otherwise this would not bother you.

I definitely do not like him, he isn’t my type. Since it’s anonymous, I guess the way I see it now is like a weird egotistical challenge to figure out why I can’t even get this guy, who I’ve seen pretty much daily for over a year, to just respond in any way. (I’m not throwing myself at him, don’t get that idea. But once a week or so we end up on equipment next to each other and I put my hand up in a wave and smile and then carry on. He just stares at me like I’m an idiot.)

[Anonymous]

Are you finding it hard that he won’t come on to you? Stop waving and saying hi.

[Anonymous]

Question, OP. If you were a regular who wasn’t “generally attractive,” would you think you were less entitled to this man’s attention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you do like him. Otherwise this would not bother you.

I definitely do not like him, he isn’t my type. Since it’s anonymous, I guess the way I see it now is like a weird egotistical challenge to figure out why I can’t even get this guy, who I’ve seen pretty much daily for over a year, to just respond in any way. (I’m not throwing myself at him, don’t get that idea. But once a week or so we end up on equipment next to each other and I put my hand up in a wave and smile and then carry on. He just stares at me like I’m an idiot.)

Eh I’d be kind of weirded out by this. I chit chat with people I know, but otherwise don’t make eye contact. Someone waving and smiling right next to me is creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you do like him. Otherwise this would not bother you.

I definitely do not like him, he isn’t my type. Since it’s anonymous, I guess the way I see it now is like a weird egotistical challenge to figure out why I can’t even get this guy, who I’ve seen pretty much daily for over a year, to just respond in any way. (I’m not throwing myself at him, don’t get that idea. But once a week or so we end up on equipment next to each other and I put my hand up in a wave and smile and then carry on. He just stares at me like I’m an idiot.)

You have a whole host of problems if this is bothering you.