Husband doesn't play with the kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

You + many others seem emotionally frigid. Are you German? OP I am with you. Get DH to play with your kids. My dad was an ass, so I married a loving person who loves playing with kids.

Nope. She said "kids" which means there's more than one. They can play with each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

You + many others seem emotionally frigid. Are you German? OP I am with you. Get DH to play with your kids. My dad was an ass, so I married a loving person who loves playing with kids.

Nope. She said "kids" which means there's more than one. They can play with each other.

Of course they CAN play with each other, but that fulfills different needs than spending quality time (quality as determined by the kid sometimes) with a parent.

Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

Of course they don't HAVE to...but unless they truly have no time that's not spent supporting the family, why the heck wouldn't they sometimes? Carpe diem. YOLO. This time together is fleeting. Your kids (gasp) love to spend time with you. Whatever slogan you need, it's not like someone's asking you to withstand torture. Perspective, patience, and love will help.

What makes you think that just because dad doesn't play with them that he's not spending time with them? There are plenty other things to do with your kids in all this "fleeting" time besides play. He could teaching them to cook, change tires, plant flowers, cut grass, wash the car, watching sports, teaching them to drive, reading with them, helping with homework, surfing, swimming... Just because he doesn't one thing they ask him to do doesn't mean he's not supporting the family. Get outta here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

Of course they don't HAVE to...but unless they truly have no time that's not spent supporting the family, why the heck wouldn't they sometimes? Carpe diem. YOLO. This time together is fleeting. Your kids (gasp) love to spend time with you. Whatever slogan you need, it's not like someone's asking you to withstand torture. Perspective, patience, and love will help.

What makes you think that just because dad doesn't play with them that he's not spending time with them? There are plenty other things to do with your kids in all this "fleeting" time besides play. He could teaching them to cook, change tires, plant flowers, cut grass, wash the car, watching sports, teaching them to drive, reading with them, helping with homework, surfing, swimming... Just because he doesn't one thing they ask him to do doesn't mean he's not supporting the family. Get outta here.

I get what you're saying on one level, but doing something the other person wants to do (unless it's damaging to you) is part of healthy relationships. "My dad helped me with homework and taught me how to cut grass" may or may not lead to healthy development, self-image, etc. in a child who's ASKING his/her dad to play with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk about first world problems...what's so painful about playing games with your kids for awhile a few times a week? I don't get it. Any intelligent or creative person could make it enjoyable for themselves AND the kids. If not, your husband may be super stressed and need to talk to a therapist. For real, I hope he can get some help and enjoy life (and his kids) more.

No. A "first world problem" is identifying not playing games with your kids as a real issue. You have it backwards, sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

Of course they don't HAVE to...but unless they truly have no time that's not spent supporting the family, why the heck wouldn't they sometimes? Carpe diem. YOLO. This time together is fleeting. Your kids (gasp) love to spend time with you. Whatever slogan you need, it's not like someone's asking you to withstand torture. Perspective, patience, and love will help.

What makes you think that just because dad doesn't play with them that he's not spending time with them? There are plenty other things to do with your kids in all this "fleeting" time besides play. He could teaching them to cook, change tires, plant flowers, cut grass, wash the car, watching sports, teaching them to drive, reading with them, helping with homework, surfing, swimming... Just because he doesn't one thing they ask him to do doesn't mean he's not supporting the family. Get outta here.

I get what you're saying on one level, but doing something the other person wants to do (unless it's damaging to you) is part of healthy relationships. "My dad helped me with homework and taught me how to cut grass" may or may not lead to healthy development, self-image, etc. in a child who's ASKING his/her dad to play with them.

This is such laughable, unadulterated BS. There's not a child in the world who is going to be damaged by a good parent who happens to not like to play friggin games and says as much. Get real. You don't have to do every single thing your kids asks you to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's he doing instead? If he's ignoring them in favor of screens, it's a big problem.

NP. My DH is like this, and no, he doesn’t really interact with them at all. Knowing he is like this I would never have had kids with him. It borders on cruel. With him 100% WFH his interaction / face time with our kids has not increased at all. He spends most of his time his his home office — whether I’m home or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

Of course they don't HAVE to...but unless they truly have no time that's not spent supporting the family, why the heck wouldn't they sometimes? Carpe diem. YOLO. This time together is fleeting. Your kids (gasp) love to spend time with you. Whatever slogan you need, it's not like someone's asking you to withstand torture. Perspective, patience, and love will help.

What makes you think that just because dad doesn't play with them that he's not spending time with them? There are plenty other things to do with your kids in all this "fleeting" time besides play. He could teaching them to cook, change tires, plant flowers, cut grass, wash the car, watching sports, teaching them to drive, reading with them, helping with homework, surfing, swimming... Just because he doesn't one thing they ask him to do doesn't mean he's not supporting the family. Get outta here.

I get what you're saying on one level, but doing something the other person wants to do (unless it's damaging to you) is part of healthy relationships. "My dad helped me with homework and taught me how to cut grass" may or may not lead to healthy development, self-image, etc. in a child who's ASKING his/her dad to play with them.

This is such laughable, unadulterated BS. There's not a child in the world who is going to be damaged by a good parent who happens to not like to play friggin games and says as much. Get real. You don't have to do every single thing your kids asks you to do.

dp [Well speaking as a child whose parents didn't play but, I asked it did hurt me because I wanted to do something with them and was rejected. So, I did get over it obviously but, I chose to play games and even do plays with my kids! Such fun times and good memories. So much anger in your post. Maybe somebody should have played candy land with you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

Of course they don't HAVE to...but unless they truly have no time that's not spent supporting the family, why the heck wouldn't they sometimes? Carpe diem. YOLO. This time together is fleeting. Your kids (gasp) love to spend time with you. Whatever slogan you need, it's not like someone's asking you to withstand torture. Perspective, patience, and love will help.

What makes you think that just because dad doesn't play with them that he's not spending time with them? There are plenty other things to do with your kids in all this "fleeting" time besides play. He could teaching them to cook, change tires, plant flowers, cut grass, wash the car, watching sports, teaching them to drive, reading with them, helping with homework, surfing, swimming... Just because he doesn't one thing they ask him to do doesn't mean he's not supporting the family. Get outta here.

I get what you're saying on one level, but doing something the other person wants to do (unless it's damaging to you) is part of healthy relationships. "My dad helped me with homework and taught me how to cut grass" may or may not lead to healthy development, self-image, etc. in a child who's ASKING his/her dad to play with them.

This is such laughable, unadulterated BS. There's not a child in the world who is going to be damaged by a good parent who happens to not like to play friggin games and says as much. Get real. You don't have to do every single thing your kids asks you to do.

I hope you don't have kids. (Though why would you be on this board, though?) Please get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

Of course they don't HAVE to...but unless they truly have no time that's not spent supporting the family, why the heck wouldn't they sometimes? Carpe diem. YOLO. This time together is fleeting. Your kids (gasp) love to spend time with you. Whatever slogan you need, it's not like someone's asking you to withstand torture. Perspective, patience, and love will help.

What makes you think that just because dad doesn't play with them that he's not spending time with them? There are plenty other things to do with your kids in all this "fleeting" time besides play. He could teaching them to cook, change tires, plant flowers, cut grass, wash the car, watching sports, teaching them to drive, reading with them, helping with homework, surfing, swimming... Just because he doesn't one thing they ask him to do doesn't mean he's not supporting the family. Get outta here.

I get what you're saying on one level, but doing something the other person wants to do (unless it's damaging to you) is part of healthy relationships. "My dad helped me with homework and taught me how to cut grass" may or may not lead to healthy development, self-image, etc. in a child who's ASKING his/her dad to play with them.

This is such laughable, unadulterated BS. There's not a child in the world who is going to be damaged by a good parent who happens to not like to play friggin games and says as much. Get real. You don't have to do every single thing your kids asks you to do.

I hope you don't have kids. (Though why would you be on this board, though?) Please get help.

I have kids and they love me to death. Sorry to disappoint you! You people are really something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

You + many others seem emotionally frigid. Are you German? OP I am with you. Get DH to play with your kids. My dad was an ass, so I married a loving person who loves playing with kids.

You’re missing the point. A parent can be warm and loving and engage the kids in tons of mutually enjoyable activities. Take walks, cook, watch a movie, etc. adults don’t have to pretend to enjoy kids games that they don’t enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

Of course they don't HAVE to...but unless they truly have no time that's not spent supporting the family, why the heck wouldn't they sometimes? Carpe diem. YOLO. This time together is fleeting. Your kids (gasp) love to spend time with you. Whatever slogan you need, it's not like someone's asking you to withstand torture. Perspective, patience, and love will help.

What makes you think that just because dad doesn't play with them that he's not spending time with them? There are plenty other things to do with your kids in all this "fleeting" time besides play. He could teaching them to cook, change tires, plant flowers, cut grass, wash the car, watching sports, teaching them to drive, reading with them, helping with homework, surfing, swimming... Just because he doesn't one thing they ask him to do doesn't mean he's not supporting the family. Get outta here.

You assume that parents do any of these things. Many outsource that work and spend more time in the office. The only thing my DH Dow’s at home is cut the grass and takes out the garbage. Neither of which he likes to do with kids around. Kids are now tween/teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

You + many others seem emotionally frigid. Are you German? OP I am with you. Get DH to play with your kids. My dad was an ass, so I married a loving person who loves playing with kids.

You’re missing the point. A parent can be warm and loving and engage the kids in tons of mutually enjoyable activities. Take walks, cook, watch a movie, etc. adults don’t have to pretend to enjoy kids games that they don’t enjoy.

No you don't have to but do you really go through life only doing the things you have to,?
You never have done a single thing to make someone else happy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

Of course they don't HAVE to...but unless they truly have no time that's not spent supporting the family, why the heck wouldn't they sometimes? Carpe diem. YOLO. This time together is fleeting. Your kids (gasp) love to spend time with you. Whatever slogan you need, it's not like someone's asking you to withstand torture. Perspective, patience, and love will help.

What makes you think that just because dad doesn't play with them that he's not spending time with them? There are plenty other things to do with your kids in all this "fleeting" time besides play. He could teaching them to cook, change tires, plant flowers, cut grass, wash the car, watching sports, teaching them to drive, reading with them, helping with homework, surfing, swimming... Just because he doesn't one thing they ask him to do doesn't mean he's not supporting the family. Get outta here.

I get what you're saying on one level, but doing something the other person wants to do (unless it's damaging to you) is part of healthy relationships. "My dad helped me with homework and taught me how to cut grass" may or may not lead to healthy development, self-image, etc. in a child who's ASKING his/her dad to play with them.

This is such laughable, unadulterated BS. There's not a child in the world who is going to be damaged by a good parent who happens to not like to play friggin games and says as much. Get real. You don't have to do every single thing your kids asks you to do.

I hope you don't have kids. (Though why would you be on this board, though?) Please get help.

I have kids and they love me to death. Sorry to disappoint you! You people are really something else.

Kids tend to love unconditionally that doesn't mean your attitude or parenting methods are correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

Of course they don't HAVE to...but unless they truly have no time that's not spent supporting the family, why the heck wouldn't they sometimes? Carpe diem. YOLO. This time together is fleeting. Your kids (gasp) love to spend time with you. Whatever slogan you need, it's not like someone's asking you to withstand torture. Perspective, patience, and love will help.

What makes you think that just because dad doesn't play with them that he's not spending time with them? There are plenty other things to do with your kids in all this "fleeting" time besides play. He could teaching them to cook, change tires, plant flowers, cut grass, wash the car, watching sports, teaching them to drive, reading with them, helping with homework, surfing, swimming... Just because he doesn't one thing they ask him to do doesn't mean he's not supporting the family. Get outta here.

I get what you're saying on one level, but doing something the other person wants to do (unless it's damaging to you) is part of healthy relationships. "My dad helped me with homework and taught me how to cut grass" may or may not lead to healthy development, self-image, etc. in a child who's ASKING his/her dad to play with them.

This is such laughable, unadulterated BS. There's not a child in the world who is going to be damaged by a good parent who happens to not like to play friggin games and says as much. Get real. You don't have to do every single thing your kids asks you to do.

Again do much anger and vitriol. For what because people suggested you play with your kids and interact with them beyond homework and teaching them life skills.