Husband doesn't play with the kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not matter in the slightest. It’s a recent thing for parents to play with kids. I grew up in the 70s & 80s and parents playing with kids was not a thing. They can do other kinds of projects, outings, quality time that he is actually into. It’s fine.

This is BS. I’m 55 years old. I have very clear and fond memories of my dad playing card games with my siblings. I learned Gin Rummy from him. He also taught us Parchesi.

No need to take that post so literally, asswipe. I'm sure the poster was saying it was less common then, not that it never happened. And she's right. She's certainly right that it "does not matter in the slightest." Different strokes, ya know?

\
np There is zero need to curse in this situation. Please do better pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not matter in the slightest. It’s a recent thing for parents to play with kids. I grew up in the 70s & 80s and parents playing with kids was not a thing. They can do other kinds of projects, outings, quality time that he is actually into. It’s fine.

This is BS. I’m 55 years old. I have very clear and fond memories of my dad playing card games with my siblings. I learned Gin Rummy from him. He also taught us Parchesi.

Good for you. I'm 45. Neither of my parents played with me or my siblings. They were too busy working or taking care of us or the house. Parents don't "need" to play with their kids in that sense. My husband is very smart and highly successful. it's hard for him to play with our 9 year old. But, he does spend many hours teaching her math, grammar, etc for school and also learning how to ride a bike, swim, etc. He will take her to landscaping stores because she loves flowers. There are plenty of things a parent can do with their kids besides "play".

Nothing wrong with it.

Dysfunctional childhood marries a dysfunctional husband. Your excuses for your husband are sad . So smart and successful but can't figure out how to play with a 9 year old. Please!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not matter in the slightest. It’s a recent thing for parents to play with kids. I grew up in the 70s & 80s and parents playing with kids was not a thing. They can do other kinds of projects, outings, quality time that he is actually into. It’s fine.

This is BS. I’m 55 years old. I have very clear and fond memories of my dad playing card games with my siblings. I learned Gin Rummy from him. He also taught us Parchesi.

Good for you. I'm 45. Neither of my parents played with me or my siblings. They were too busy working or taking care of us or the house. Parents don't "need" to play with their kids in that sense. My husband is very smart and highly successful. it's hard for him to play with our 9 year old. But, he does spend many hours teaching her math, grammar, etc for school and also learning how to ride a bike, swim, etc. He will take her to landscaping stores because she loves flowers. There are plenty of things a parent can do with their kids besides "play".

Nothing wrong with it.

Dysfunctional childhood marries a dysfunctional husband. Your excuses for your husband are sad . So smart and successful but can't figure out how to play with a 9 year old. Please!

DP.. honestly, you sound high maintenance an high anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not matter in the slightest. It’s a recent thing for parents to play with kids. I grew up in the 70s & 80s and parents playing with kids was not a thing. They can do other kinds of projects, outings, quality time that he is actually into. It’s fine.

This is BS. I’m 55 years old. I have very clear and fond memories of my dad playing card games with my siblings. I learned Gin Rummy from him. He also taught us Parchesi.

Good for you. I'm 45. Neither of my parents played with me or my siblings. They were too busy working or taking care of us or the house. Parents don't "need" to play with their kids in that sense. My husband is very smart and highly successful. it's hard for him to play with our 9 year old. But, he does spend many hours teaching her math, grammar, etc for school and also learning how to ride a bike, swim, etc. He will take her to landscaping stores because she loves flowers. There are plenty of things a parent can do with their kids besides "play".

Nothing wrong with it.

Dysfunctional childhood marries a dysfunctional husband. Your excuses for your husband are sad . So smart and successful but can't figure out how to play with a 9 year old. Please!

DP.. honestly, you sound high maintenance an high anxiety.

It's sad and also telling that your default is to attack and attempt to insult people

[Anonymous]

My grandparents never played game with me. My parents didn't either. I didn't play games with my kids, and I don't with my grandkids either.

We all get along just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandparents never played game with me. My parents didn't either. I didn't play games with my kids, and I don't with my grandkids either.

We all get along just fine.

I just don't get this . I'm thankful I'm part of a family that enjoys interacting with and playing with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all parents find it easy to play with kids. Even though they are your kids, it's tough for an adult to play children games. I play with my daughter and often it's boring and painful. I won't lie and pretend it's super fun. No, it's not. I'm in my 40s how is playing a 8-10 year old game fun? LOL, let's be real.

However, perhaps your husband can find something fun to do with his kids that he also enjoys: drawing, hiking, board games, arts and craft, building stuff, sports, etc.

I hate it too TBH. We used to play outside a lot, go hiking, biking, play ball etc., which was mutually enjoyable. Mine are both boys so they used to beat each other up with foam swords and leave me be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grandparents never played game with me. My parents didn't either. I didn't play games with my kids, and I don't with my grandkids either.

We all get along just fine.

I just don't get this . I'm thankful I'm part of a family that enjoys interacting with and playing with kids.

Who said anything about "interacting?" I thought we were talking about playing games.

How often are you with your parents now that you're grown? How often are your children alone with your parents -- or, if you're the grandparent, how often is it just you and the grandkids? All of our kids, now adults, all live in the area, we all see each other all the time, none of our grandkids has ever had to go to day care, have a nanny, or for that matter even need a babysitter -- and likely never will -- because one of us is always around and we are always together. Your family could only be so lucky.

I'm thankful to be part of a family that doesn't have to play cards to be close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's he doing instead? If he's ignoring them in favor of screens, it's a big problem.

Exactly.

Is he neglectful most of the time or can he engage/ interact with his kids on things (games, school work, sports, reading, errands, talking?).
FYI Screens don’t count as a parent “engaging with their adolescent.”

[Anonymous]

I think it’s fine if he doesn’t want to “play” with them but hopefully he has things he *does* like to do with them. I’m the reader/ cards and board game parent here. Spouse doesn’t like any of those - but he plays sports, washes cars, builds things, gardens with them. I think it’s fine to know the types of things you enjoy and do those things with your kids.

[Anonymous]

All parents don't like to "play." The kids will learn the things/ways that dad loves to interact with them. It won't be "damaging" to the kids. Geesh, you people are so damn dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not matter in the slightest. It’s a recent thing for parents to play with kids. I grew up in the 70s & 80s and parents playing with kids was not a thing. They can do other kinds of projects, outings, quality time that he is actually into. It’s fine.

This is BS. I’m 55 years old. I have very clear and fond memories of my dad playing card games with my siblings. I learned Gin Rummy from him. He also taught us Parchesi.

Good for you. I'm 45. Neither of my parents played with me or my siblings. They were too busy working or taking care of us or the house. Parents don't "need" to play with their kids in that sense. My husband is very smart and highly successful. it's hard for him to play with our 9 year old. But, he does spend many hours teaching her math, grammar, etc for school and also learning how to ride a bike, swim, etc. He will take her to landscaping stores because she loves flowers. There are plenty of things a parent can do with their kids besides "play".

Nothing wrong with it.

Dysfunctional childhood marries a dysfunctional husband. Your excuses for your husband are sad . So smart and successful but can't figure out how to play with a 9 year old. Please!

PP is a nut. A parent who is unwilling to play doesn't make them "dysfunctional." Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

[Anonymous]

Talk about first world problems...what's so painful about playing games with your kids for awhile a few times a week? I don't get it. Any intelligent or creative person could make it enjoyable for themselves AND the kids. If not, your husband may be super stressed and need to talk to a therapist. For real, I hope he can get some help and enjoy life (and his kids) more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adults don’t have to play with kids and it’s actually modeling healthy boundaries to say something like “I’m fine here, I’m going to rest and watch you play!” That said it’s important to be kind and present. Maybe emphasize the latter over the former.

Of course they don't HAVE to...but unless they truly have no time that's not spent supporting the family, why the heck wouldn't they sometimes? Carpe diem. YOLO. This time together is fleeting. Your kids (gasp) love to spend time with you. Whatever slogan you need, it's not like someone's asking you to withstand torture. Perspective, patience, and love will help.