Husband doesn't play with the kids

[Anonymous]

Kids are 7 and 11 and constantly ask dad to play with him but he rarely agrees. Tonight he very reluctantly agreed to play a card game (I asked him to) with our DD and he looked so pained. It makes them so happy for him to play with them but he rarely does...

[Anonymous]

That’s mean and is going to hurt your kids. People can tell when other people don’t want to spend time with them. You need to tell him to step up.

[Anonymous]

Not all parents find it easy to play with kids. Even though they are your kids, it's tough for an adult to play children games. I play with my daughter and often it's boring and painful. I won't lie and pretend it's super fun. No, it's not. I'm in my 40s how is playing a 8-10 year old game fun? LOL, let's be real.

However, perhaps your husband can find something fun to do with his kids that he also enjoys: drawing, hiking, board games, arts and craft, building stuff, sports, etc.

[Anonymous]

He can do something else with them.

[Anonymous]

My dad was not the "play" type. But he taught me how to check the oil in the car, how to change a lightbulb, how to balance a checkbook, how to do math, how to iron, how to fold a fitted sheet, how to rake and bag a yardfull of leaves, how to shoot a basket, how to make meatloaf, how to hang wallpaper, etc.

He included me in everything he was doing. He helped me when I needed it.

[Anonymous]

That’s a bummer because it is such a good age for play. I struggled with my 3 yo daughter playing pretend games, but when she got to 7 it just opened up so much more stuff to do.

[Anonymous]

This does not matter in the slightest. It’s a recent thing for parents to play with kids. I grew up in the 70s & 80s and parents playing with kids was not a thing. They can do other kinds of projects, outings, quality time that he is actually into. It’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This does not matter in the slightest. It’s a recent thing for parents to play with kids. I grew up in the 70s & 80s and parents playing with kids was not a thing. They can do other kinds of projects, outings, quality time that he is actually into. It’s fine.

This. None of my parents or grandparents played with me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This does not matter in the slightest. It’s a recent thing for parents to play with kids. I grew up in the 70s & 80s and parents playing with kids was not a thing. They can do other kinds of projects, outings, quality time that he is actually into. It’s fine.

This is BS. I’m 55 years old. I have very clear and fond memories of my dad playing card games with my siblings. I learned Gin Rummy from him. He also taught us Parchesi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not matter in the slightest. It’s a recent thing for parents to play with kids. I grew up in the 70s & 80s and parents playing with kids was not a thing. They can do other kinds of projects, outings, quality time that he is actually into. It’s fine.

This is BS. I’m 55 years old. I have very clear and fond memories of my dad playing card games with my siblings. I learned Gin Rummy from him. He also taught us Parchesi.

No need to take that post so literally, asswipe. I'm sure the poster was saying it was less common then, not that it never happened. And she's right. She's certainly right that it "does not matter in the slightest." Different strokes, ya know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not matter in the slightest. It’s a recent thing for parents to play with kids. I grew up in the 70s & 80s and parents playing with kids was not a thing. They can do other kinds of projects, outings, quality time that he is actually into. It’s fine.

This is BS. I’m 55 years old. I have very clear and fond memories of my dad playing card games with my siblings. I learned Gin Rummy from him. He also taught us Parchesi.

NP, I think you were "fortunate". It really wasn't as common as it is today.

I do not like board games or card games. I played a lot when I was younger, and I just don't find it fun anymore. I have played with my kids a few times, but do not enjoy it much. DH will play with them more.

agree with a PP.. OP's DH should do something else with the kids if he really hates it that much. He is not going to enjoy spending time with his kids if he has to do something he dislikes.

[Anonymous]

Does he interact with them in fun ways doing other things? It’s the interaction that’s important. I do play cards games with my now 9yo, if can be painful but I try to at least play for 30 mins on a normal weekend day. It’s really not that and it means a lot to them.

[Anonymous]

What's he doing instead? If he's ignoring them in favor of screens, it's a big problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not matter in the slightest. It’s a recent thing for parents to play with kids. I grew up in the 70s & 80s and parents playing with kids was not a thing. They can do other kinds of projects, outings, quality time that he is actually into. It’s fine.

This is BS. I’m 55 years old. I have very clear and fond memories of my dad playing card games with my siblings. I learned Gin Rummy from him. He also taught us Parchesi.

Good for you. I'm 45. Neither of my parents played with me or my siblings. They were too busy working or taking care of us or the house. Parents don't "need" to play with their kids in that sense. My husband is very smart and highly successful. it's hard for him to play with our 9 year old. But, he does spend many hours teaching her math, grammar, etc for school and also learning how to ride a bike, swim, etc. He will take her to landscaping stores because she loves flowers. There are plenty of things a parent can do with their kids besides "play".

Nothing wrong with it.

[Anonymous]

I think the issue is the kids are asking dad to play and he is refusing or doing so begrudgingly, that's damaging.

Less so if he's interacting with them positively in other ways as pp pointed out.

Op what's his reasoning?