Would I be unreasonable to suggest separate sleeping arrangements?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have my own room. We couldn’t have sex anyway before bed with teens in the house who are always awake. I’m so happy in my own bed. My room also has a bathroom. It’s great!

Wait. Why? Do parents of teens really not have sex?

[Anonymous]

Our grandparents with the twin beds had it right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have my own room. We couldn’t have sex anyway before bed with teens in the house who are always awake. I’m so happy in my own bed. My room also has a bathroom. It’s great!

Wait. Why? Do parents of teens really not have sex?

We wait til they leave the house. They go to school and engage in other activities outside the home. It's not like when they are 5 and they go to bed at 8pm. At night, they are up.

[Anonymous]

Humans and other great apes are not meant to sleep on their back. They are supposed to sleep on their side.

https://voicesinthedark.world/3-ways-to-sleep-like-a-silverback-gorilla/

omg I can't believe I didn't bookmark the NIH study but it's called something like "ancestral sleeping postures"

Finally--if he sings during the day, it builds up the muscles that will help stop the sleeping at night.

[Anonymous]

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/labs/pmc/articles/PMC1119282/
Here it is

[Anonymous]

DH and I both snore and we often sleep in separate rooms. We don’t have separate rooms per se, but on most weeknights DH sleeps in our guest room. After years of not sleeping with young kids, we both just really need to make sure we sleep. Happily married, together pretty much all the time, but not while sleeping.

I do recommend trying silicone ear plugs though. They help a ton and if you are a light sleeper can be good even when you are alone. I use them even when DH is in the other room. It sounds like your DH isn’t all that loud. I think the ear plugs would block out the noise.

In our case we can still hear each other to some extent even with ear plugs, this sleeping apart. I know people are weird about it, but especially on busy weeknights where we are jumping out of bed when the alarm goes off at 6am it really doesn’t have any impact on the relationship, intimacy etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our grandparents with the twin beds had it right.

My only issue with twin beds in the same room (as experienced in hotel rooms with separate beds) is that I still hear him snoring. And if he's in another bed, I can't even nudge him to roll on his side!

Team Separate Bedrooms!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both snore and we often sleep in separate rooms. We don’t have separate rooms per se, but on most weeknights DH sleeps in our guest room. After years of not sleeping with young kids, we both just really need to make sure we sleep. Happily married, together pretty much all the time, but not while sleeping.

I do recommend trying silicone ear plugs though. They help a ton and if you are a light sleeper can be good even when you are alone. I use them even when DH is in the other room. It sounds like your DH isn’t all that loud. I think the ear plugs would block out the noise.

In our case we can still hear each other to some extent even with ear plugs, this sleeping apart. I know people are weird about it, but especially on busy weeknights where we are jumping out of bed when the alarm goes off at 6am it really doesn’t have any impact on the relationship, intimacy etc

+1 Recently moved to the same room after sleeping apart for some time. DH is the one who snores, but he’s either stopped or I am sleeping better because with the silicone earplugs I don’t hear anything. White noise also helps.

[Anonymous]

I have my own master suite and it is amazing. Highly recommend.

[Anonymous]

We sleep in separate rooms because my husband snores and I'm a light sleeper. Now we both sleep great and we have a wonderful marriage.

[Anonymous]

My husband snores so loudly. Our guest bedroom is much smaller than our master bedroom and the bed isn’t as comfortable. He told me that if the snoring bothered me, I should go sleep in the guest room because he won’t do it. He refused to even admit that he snored until I recorded it for him. I’m looking into getting a nicer bed for the guest room because I can’t take it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Hi, this is OP. Thank you for your comments and useful suggestions.

I actually slept well last night. I wore ear plugs. Don't know if DH snored or not as I think I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

DH thinks it's fine to sleep in separate rooms. Not necessarily every single night, but on nights when I stay up late (a lot of the time he goes to bed about 1 hour or more before me, and by the time I go up to bed he's snoring away), or when one of us has to get up super early for work or one of us has a cold and is coughing.

I actually like the idea of to having my own, separate bedroom when I need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would suggest sleep studies for both of you - him to address the snoring and other noise, and you to address why you’re such a light sleeper that mouth breathing wakes you up.

This is OP.

My husband snores when he rolls over on his back. His mouth falls open and the snoring and other noises start.
I noticed it's worse when he's had alcohol. He has a cocktail before dinner most nights.

The mouth breathing doesn't actually wake me up. I am usually still lying awake. Sometimes I find it hard to relax and fall asleep.
If there is an aspect of my life I feel anxious about (work, family relations, anything) I start thinking when I'm in bed and my mind starts racing. Then of course I can't sleep for hours because I'm wide awake and I'm like a zombie the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have my own room. We couldn’t have sex anyway before bed with teens in the house who are always awake. I’m so happy in my own bed. My room also has a bathroom. It’s great!

Wait. Why? Do parents of teens really not have sex?

We wait til they leave the house. They go to school and engage in other activities outside the home. It's not like when they are 5 and they go to bed at 8pm. At night, they are up.

We have teens. We close the door and lock it and don't answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call me old-fashioned, but I'll never not judge couples who sleep in separate rooms.

Thanks for your input, MeeMaw.