Dodged a bullet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She told you she wanted to take it slow. Not sure you understood.

Take it slow = continue to date other people. Why would op waste so much time and energy on this woman? Who is smitten by someone at 39?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You actually sound really high maintenance and immature. You wanted to talk to her but decided 4 hours was too lOng? Seems arbitrary and immature

How do I seem immature?

I told her I’d make myself available but then she waits 4 hours like I’d just be waiting by the phone. How is that unreasonable?

But you were waiting by the phone...? And what does that even mean? You have your phone with you - you're either available when she calls or not. Or are you tethered to a rotary with FaceTime? You then decide to "get her back" by not answering (even though available!) and ignore her text.

You're being weird - and needy and have odd rules to a game that no one is playing but you.

SHE dodged the bullet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You actually sound really high maintenance and immature. You wanted to talk to her but decided 4 hours was too lOng? Seems arbitrary and immature

How do I seem immature?

I told her I’d make myself available but then she waits 4 hours like I’d just be waiting by the phone. How is that unreasonable?

But you were waiting by the phone...? And what does that even mean? You have your phone with you - you're either available when she calls or not. Or are you tethered to a rotary with FaceTime? You then decide to "get her back" by not answering (even though available!) and ignore her text.

You're being weird - and needy and have odd rules to a game that no one is playing but you.

SHE dodged the bullet.

Not only that, he basically TOLD her to call him without even considering what she may have had planned for that night. Maybe all she wanted to do is get home and sleep but no, he had to say “I’ll make myself available for a FaceTime”. Just assumed she’d want to FaceTime without asking her. Seems so incredibly entitled.

[Anonymous]

I think the two of you are just not compatible have different expectations , needs and desires. Nothing wrong with either of you just not right for each other.

[Anonymous]

You said you were available to talk whenever she settled in. She called you whenever she settled in. A call the next day would have been appropriate and should have been welcomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the two of you are just not compatible have different expectations , needs and desires. Nothing wrong with either of you just not right for each other.

There IS something wrong with OPs behavior - intentionally ignoring someone and not accepting calls to prove a point is really juvenile and a red flag if you're an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the two of you are just not compatible have different expectations , needs and desires. Nothing wrong with either of you just not right for each other.

This is partially true. However, OP is very immature and expects things to happen his way and to happen immediately; he’ll never have a good relationship with this attitude, no matter who he’s with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the two of you are just not compatible have different expectations , needs and desires. Nothing wrong with either of you just not right for each other.

There IS something wrong with OPs behavior - intentionally ignoring someone and not accepting calls to prove a point is really juvenile and a red flag if you're an adult.

I wasn’t ignoring her to prove a point. I was just putt off, so I decided that I didn’t want to talk. I don’t see what’s so wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the two of you are just not compatible have different expectations , needs and desires. Nothing wrong with either of you just not right for each other.

There IS something wrong with OPs behavior - intentionally ignoring someone and not accepting calls to prove a point is really juvenile and a red flag if you're an adult.

I wasn’t ignoring her to prove a point. I was just putt off, so I decided that I didn’t want to talk. I don’t see what’s so wrong with that.

You did not dodge a bullet. I don’t think you are right for her, though. You’re looking for immediate intensity, and she wants to take it slower, but you’re interpreting it in such a negative way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the two of you are just not compatible have different expectations , needs and desires. Nothing wrong with either of you just not right for each other.

There IS something wrong with OPs behavior - intentionally ignoring someone and not accepting calls to prove a point is really juvenile and a red flag if you're an adult.

I wasn’t ignoring her to prove a point. I was just putt off, so I decided that I didn’t want to talk. I don’t see what’s so wrong with that.

Fine, OP. You dodged a bullet. The board is in 100 percent agreement that you are the one in the wrong here, but "you dodged a bullet with that B" is the only answer that will satisfy you, so I'm saying it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the two of you are just not compatible have different expectations , needs and desires. Nothing wrong with either of you just not right for each other.

There IS something wrong with OPs behavior - intentionally ignoring someone and not accepting calls to prove a point is really juvenile and a red flag if you're an adult.

I wasn’t ignoring her to prove a point. I was just putt off, so I decided that I didn’t want to talk. I don’t see what’s so wrong with that.

You did not dodge a bullet. I don’t think you are right for her, though. You’re looking for immediate intensity, and she wants to take it slower, but you’re interpreting it in such a negative way.

Even wanting immediate intensity, not allowing grace in a relationship and then punishing someone in return is a HUGE red flag.

[Anonymous]

"Do you want to tag along and have sex with me on my work trip?" to someone you just started dating is choice move, OP. Take a bow.

[Anonymous]

Well she just posted to her social media and I viewed it ( shows you who has viewed it) to show there’s no hard feelings.

[Anonymous]

good god brother, you gotta slow down and back off. I get that you may be into her. but she said she wanted to take things slow. you acting as if she never said that and are blowing past all her signals.

I am not one to play games. but you have to fill your life/time with other things/hobbies/interests when you don't have your kid with you. being so available to connect with her screams of desperation and you do come across as needy.

go live a fulfilling life and she will notice and will be drawn to you. doesn't mean you'll end up together in the long term, but you (and she) will be better off for it as that could be the basis of a healthier dynamic/relationship (with her or some other woman).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inviting her to join you on the work trip rather than a vacay sounds cheap. Like, okay hang out in a hotel room that I don’t have to pay for so I can squeeze you in whenever it’s convenient for me. That might be fine if you are in an established relationship and it’s clear you're not using her for convenience. But in this case it could rub this person the wrong way.

Even a vacation it’s still really creepy to invite someone that you’ve known for 3 weeks to spend time with you in another state. It’s all way too much. I would’ve been really been put off by that invitation.

+1