Dodged a bullet?

[Anonymous]

Dude why do you think a woman would want to go down to Florida to join you on a work trip? You don’t even know her. She dodged a bullet.

[Anonymous]

Let’s just say all of your reasons are valid (they’re not). She called and texted you after YOU mentioned that you wanted to talk, all to ignore her.
You’re an adult. Ignoring someone is rude as hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude why do you think a woman would want to go down to Florida to join you on a work trip? You don’t even know her. She dodged a bullet.

Would it have been different if it was a vacation instead of a business trip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude why do you think a woman would want to go down to Florida to join you on a work trip? You don’t even know her. She dodged a bullet.

Would it have been different if it was a vacation instead of a business trip?

Yes. It would also be different if it were over a weekend and the work was completed. But OP didn’t say that. In either case she doesn’t know OP and way too soon for someone that specifically requested taking it slow. Is she supposed to hand out all day by herself while OP is working? This is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I (39/m) met this great woman (31), or so I thought, in October. I was instantly smitten. She told me she wanted to take things slow and I agreed because I have my son to think about. Things were going really well the first few weeks. I had a business trip to Florida at the end of October. I asked her to come down but I could tell she didn’t really want to. While on the trip I told her I missed her and asked if that was weird. We were on FaceTime and she seemed a little hesitant and said that it wasn’t weird for me to say that I missed her, just confusing. I asked her why it was confusing and she said because she doesn’t know what’s to miss since we had only known each other for 3 weeks - fair enough. After this, I could tell she was getting a little distant. After Thanksgiving we didn’t talk for about 2.5 weeks. Last week she was on vacation in Mexico and so I decided to text her on Monday. I said I noticed we kind of fell off but if she was still interested I’d love to see her. She said she noticed that too and that sounded good and that she’d text me when she gets back on Thursday (yesterday). She texted me at 3:00pm saying hey. I responded to her text saying that I’d make myself free for a FaceTime call whenever she got settled in. She responded with a thumbs up about 2 hours later. She called me on FaceTime at 7:45 yesterday—so almost 4 hours later after I said I’ll make myself available for a FaceTime call. This really rubbed me the wrong way so I just didn’t pick up or call back. She then texted me at 11 saying she tried to call earlier and goodnight. I ignored that too.

I dodged a bullet, right?

That sounds insecure and would have been an instant turn off for me.

Then your behavior continues to follow the pattern of insecure and immature. She is done with you, as I would be too.

[Anonymous]

She dodged a bullet.

But nice try going for some hotel sex on the company dime. It was worth the attempt.

[Anonymous]

If I were her I'd expect a guy almost a decade older than me to be quite a bit more chill and mature.
Maybe she senses that and wants to keep her options open?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I (39/m) met this great woman (31), or so I thought, in October. I was instantly smitten. She told me she wanted to take things slow and I agreed because I have my son to think about. Things were going really well the first few weeks. I had a business trip to Florida at the end of October. I asked her to come down but I could tell she didn’t really want to. While on the trip I told her I missed her and asked if that was weird. We were on FaceTime and she seemed a little hesitant and said that it wasn’t weird for me to say that I missed her, just confusing. I asked her why it was confusing and she said because she doesn’t know what’s to miss since we had only known each other for 3 weeks - fair enough. After this, I could tell she was getting a little distant. After Thanksgiving we didn’t talk for about 2.5 weeks. Last week she was on vacation in Mexico and so I decided to text her on Monday. I said I noticed we kind of fell off but if she was still interested I’d love to see her. She said she noticed that too and that sounded good and that she’d text me when she gets back on Thursday (yesterday). She texted me at 3:00pm saying hey. I responded to her text saying that I’d make myself free for a FaceTime call whenever she got settled in. She responded with a thumbs up about 2 hours later. She called me on FaceTime at 7:45 yesterday—so almost 4 hours later after I said I’ll make myself available for a FaceTime call. This really rubbed me the wrong way so I just didn’t pick up or call back. She then texted me at 11 saying she tried to call earlier and goodnight. I ignored that too.

I dodged a bullet, right?

That sounds insecure and would have been an instant turn off for me.

Then your behavior continues to follow the pattern of insecure and immature. She is done with you, as I would be too.

How is she done when she called, I ignored, and she still sent a follow up text saying that she gave me a call?

[Anonymous]

Dude, she's the normal one. You're not. Everyone can tell by reading your post.

[Anonymous]

Stop playing games. She called you and you ignored her? You sound needy and immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You actually sound really high maintenance and immature. You wanted to talk to her but decided 4 hours was too lOng? Seems arbitrary and immature

How do I seem immature?

I told her I’d make myself available but then she waits 4 hours like I’d just be waiting by the phone. How is that unreasonable?

Bc you don’t have to wait by the phone. Then if you wanted to talk to her you showed your immaturity by not actually talking to her when she called

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You actually sound really high maintenance and immature. You wanted to talk to her but decided 4 hours was too lOng? Seems arbitrary and immature

How do I seem immature?

I told her I’d make myself available but then she waits 4 hours like I’d just be waiting by the phone. How is that unreasonable?

Bc you don’t have to wait by the phone. Then if you wanted to talk to her you showed your immaturity by not actually talking to her when she called

This.

Makes me question if you just did all this as get back for her not talking to you (rightfully so) for 2 weeks. Kind of sounds like you wanted revenge.

[Anonymous]

Inviting her to join you on the work trip rather than a vacay sounds cheap. Like, okay hang out in a hotel room that I don’t have to pay for so I can squeeze you in whenever it’s convenient for me. That might be fine if you are in an established relationship and it’s clear you're not using her for convenience. But in this case it could rub this person the wrong way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Inviting her to join you on the work trip rather than a vacay sounds cheap. Like, okay hang out in a hotel room that I don’t have to pay for so I can squeeze you in whenever it’s convenient for me. That might be fine if you are in an established relationship and it’s clear you're not using her for convenience. But in this case it could rub this person the wrong way.

Even a vacation it’s still really creepy to invite someone that you’ve known for 3 weeks to spend time with you in another state. It’s all way too much. I would’ve been really been put off by that invitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop playing games. She called you and you ignored her? You sound needy and immature.

This. This. This.