Anyone cheat before getting married, then become faithful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happens. Once you get married, the opporutiies to meet people are fewer, as is the time if you're home all the time. Also, your libido goes down as you age so less desire to do so.

I don’t know. It’s seems like people cheat more in their 40s than their 30s. Midlife crisis has a way of turning previously faithful people into cheaters.

It’s also often when one partner stops having sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happens. Once you get married, the opporutiies to meet people are fewer, as is the time if you're home all the time. Also, your libido goes down as you age so less desire to do so.

I don’t know. It’s seems like people cheat more in their 40s than their 30s. Midlife crisis has a way of turning previously faithful people into cheaters.

It’s also often when one partner stops having sex.

It’s when kids, work and aging parents add a lot of stressors. It’s a time when marriages can become business like and couples do t connect like they did pre-kids or gave the time to do again once they are empty nesters.

The 40s/early 50s are the toughest times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happens. Once you get married, the opporutiies to meet people are fewer, as is the time if you're home all the time. Also, your libido goes down as you age so less desire to do so.

I don’t know. It’s seems like people cheat more in their 40s than their 30s. Midlife crisis has a way of turning previously faithful people into cheaters.

It’s also often when one partner stops having sex.

It’s when kids, work and aging parents add a lot of stressors. It’s a time when marriages can become business like and couples do t connect like they did pre-kids or gave the time to do again once they are empty nesters.

The 40s/early 50s are the toughest times.

And when all the repeated “one off” frustrations build up year over year into resentment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happens. Once you get married, the opporutiies to meet people are fewer, as is the time if you're home all the time. Also, your libido goes down as you age so less desire to do so.

I don’t know. It’s seems like people cheat more in their 40s than their 30s. Midlife crisis has a way of turning previously faithful people into cheaters.

It’s also often when one partner stops having sex.

It’s when kids, work and aging parents add a lot of stressors. It’s a time when marriages can become business like and couples do t connect like they did pre-kids or gave the time to do again once they are empty nesters.

The 40s/early 50s are the toughest times.

And when all the repeated “one off” frustrations build up year over year into resentment.

And when prude, judgemental, holier-than-thou shrews harp on 20-year-old actions and drive their partners into the arms of another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why would you pity a man who married a smart, educated, attractive wife who is loyal, loves sex, and gave him two beautiful children, and so far, 23 years of committed marriage? That's so weird. Trust me. He is one happy man.

NP. We pity him his loss of agency when you were dating - he thought exclusively- and you were seeing other people. We pity him because he has a wife who has flimsy boundaries. What if your “two beautiful children” were in a long-term relationship they thought was exclusive but their partner was seeing other people but didn’t think they had to share that? I’m sure you would be the first to condemn the partner - and you should, because it’s cheating, just like you cheated.

Who said anything about "long-term?" I mean, really, I guess the terms of the relationship on which one "cheated" may make a difference. I am one of the PPs who said they cheated on now spouse in our 20s. I just didn't take our relationship as serious as he did. Once I realized he was more serious, we talked it out. He was understanding. I eventually decided I would settle down. And we've been faithfully married for 23 years. I would never have been able to marry or settle down with someone who was judgemental and narrow minded, I guess.

[Anonymous]

^ Interesting. I would never be able to settle down with someone who lies and then tries to rationalize it, or who did not respect me enough to let me know that they were sleeping with multiple people at the same time. Fortunately, my spouse feels the same. If your spouse agrees with you, then you have already been cheated on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone cheat on their spouse before marriage, but become faithful after walking down the aisle? Please
Share your story.

You can’t be that gullible.

[Anonymous]

I cheated on my DH when we were dating. We have been married for 10 years and I would never do it again…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why would you pity a man who married a smart, educated, attractive wife who is loyal, loves sex, and gave him two beautiful children, and so far, 23 years of committed marriage? That's so weird. Trust me. He is one happy man.

NP. We pity him his loss of agency when you were dating - he thought exclusively- and you were seeing other people. We pity him because he has a wife who has flimsy boundaries. What if your “two beautiful children” were in a long-term relationship they thought was exclusive but their partner was seeing other people but didn’t think they had to share that? I’m sure you would be the first to condemn the partner - and you should, because it’s cheating, just like you cheated.

Who said anything about "long-term?" I mean, really, I guess the terms of the relationship on which one "cheated" may make a difference. I am one of the PPs who said they cheated on now spouse in our 20s. I just didn't take our relationship as serious as he did. Once I realized he was more serious, we talked it out. He was understanding. I eventually decided I would settle down. And we've been faithfully married for 23 years. I would never have been able to marry or settle down with someone who was judgemental and narrow minded, I guess.

How would you feel if he had cheated or been talking to other women while you 2 had dated? What if you found out he had had his head between the piano legs of a chunky woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why would you pity a man who married a smart, educated, attractive wife who is loyal, loves sex, and gave him two beautiful children, and so far, 23 years of committed marriage? That's so weird. Trust me. He is one happy man.

NP. We pity him his loss of agency when you were dating - he thought exclusively- and you were seeing other people. We pity him because he has a wife who has flimsy boundaries. What if your “two beautiful children” were in a long-term relationship they thought was exclusive but their partner was seeing other people but didn’t think they had to share that? I’m sure you would be the first to condemn the partner - and you should, because it’s cheating, just like you cheated.

Who said anything about "long-term?" I mean, really, I guess the terms of the relationship on which one "cheated" may make a difference. I am one of the PPs who said they cheated on now spouse in our 20s. I just didn't take our relationship as serious as he did. Once I realized he was more serious, we talked it out. He was understanding. I eventually decided I would settle down. And we've been faithfully married for 23 years. I would never have been able to marry or settle down with someone who was judgemental and narrow minded, I guess.

How would you feel if he had cheated or been talking to other women while you 2 had dated? What if you found out he had had his head between the piano legs of a chunky woman?

.

I’m dying . You perfectly described my Ex and his AP.

[Anonymous]

I did a few times. After last time became sober and never again. I honestly think if I started drinking again it might happen again. Not as a conscious decision but I make poor and rash decisions when I drink, usually when blacked out which sooner or later is inevitable when I drink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happens. Once you get married, the opporutiies to meet people are fewer, as is the time if you're home all the time. Also, your libido goes down as you age so less desire to do so.

I don’t know. It’s seems like people cheat more in their 40s than their 30s. Midlife crisis has a way of turning previously faithful people into cheaters.

It’s also often when one partner stops having sex.

It’s when kids, work and aging parents add a lot of stressors. It’s a time when marriages can become business like and couples do t connect like they did pre-kids or gave the time to do again once they are empty nesters.

The 40s/early 50s are the toughest times.

All of this. Everyone is capable of cheating assuming you have a strong sex drive. If you thing "never me" then tell me in the next line of your reply how you have lasted a decade of neglect by your partner but remained faithful

[Anonymous]

I cheated on most of my girlfriends before meeting my wife. I have never cheated on her. I would likely divorce before cheating. 20 years married.

[Anonymous]

Where's the data that proves that horny 20-somethings who "cheat" on girlfriends or boyfriends who they just aren't that serious about (or, sometimes in my case, didn't act that serious about me) wind up cheating on spouses to whom they make a lifelong commitment. I think many of you jump to unproven conclusions. I would guess out of insecurity more than anything else.

[Anonymous]

Don't marry them. You really wanna know if you should marry a cheater and the answer is no. Save yourself.