If your college kid skips a class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you even know (they tell you)? Do you care?
What if they skipped class bc they went someplace…say, crossed the state line for some fun and shenanigans ?…
What if they skipped class bc they went someplace…say another country and only told you After they did it

No they do not tell you.

Once a bunch of us rented an RV and drove to an away football game skipping a Thursday and a Friday. On the RV were two now lawyers and now big law partners, one now Big 4 partner accountant and two now wall street firm managing directors, plus others.

They get to live their life and figure it out and you do not have any say or at least you should not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What other country??? Are we talking Canada? Did you go to college OP? Did you ever skip class??

Op here. DC is supposed to be in country x for study abroad. They went to Italy with friends long weekend, missed classes. After the initial where tf are you text chat and what about school question, I got over it shaking my head. But curious what drum parents would do in that situation.

Probably learned more that weekend than in the whole semester.

They are learning about life. They can't fail courses but other than that they have to figure it out.

[Anonymous]

My kids skips class to sleep LOL, I'd be thrilled it they skipped to travel to another country and have a life altering experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Appreciate everyone’s perspectives.
As I write this, DC has skipped more classes and is now in Paris.
But to many of your points, she aced most of her midterms and got one B-.
So I won’t fly over there to wring her a new one just yet.

these are once in a lifetime experiences. As long as the grades are there, that's all that matters.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What other country??? Are we talking Canada? Did you go to college OP? Did you ever skip class??

Op here. DC is supposed to be in country x for study abroad. They went to Italy with friends long weekend, missed classes. After the initial where tf are you text chat and what about school question, I got over it shaking my head. But curious what drum parents would do in that situation.

omg!!! cut the apron strings!! study abroad is about travel and experiencing world culture. not about an academic grind.

Heck. yes! Cutting class is OK periodically if you are managing the course and the expectations. And do it for fun good things, like, road trip to another college for a concert, traveling to another city, first perfect spring day to just hang out on the quad on blankets.

If you need more information on the details and the rationale (this is the most serious onion article I have ever read: https://www.theonion.com/account-manager-fondly-remembers-day-in-college-when-ev-1819565644

it’s part of being an adult to learn how to make the tradeoffs between fun and work properly.

the only thing I would be disappointed about is if my kid in a study abroad program was hanging out exclusively with Americans and speaking English all the time.

LOL. I studied abroad. My spouse studied abroad. All of our kids studied abroad. Whether it's a foreign language program or not (and most of ours were), you're spending the overwhelming majority of your time hanging out and traveling with the other Americans on your program. The only exception is if you're cute and female, in which case you get attention from foreign guys who think American women are easy.

you only think that because that’s what you did! I spent the majority of my time with native speakers and locals. I deliberately made sure I wasn’t rooming with Americans only.

Well, either you are a super nerd, are lying, or were putting out. Because that's the exception, not the rule.

Yikes sorry you're having such a bad day that you need to feel so nasty. I'm another person here who studied abroad and spent at least half the time, if not more, with natives instead of Americans, because I lived in a dorm filled with natives (I was the only American on my floor) and took classes at the university with natives. To this day I have close friends from that country, as well as some of the other Americans in the program.

There were a handful of students in my program who made it a point not to hang out with Americans, just with the native students.

Not all study abroad programs are the same.

Did you record your time spent with each group for future reference? When you traveled during your breaks, did you travel with locals or other Americans? I find that as time goes by people tend to romanticize and exaggerate these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What other country??? Are we talking Canada? Did you go to college OP? Did you ever skip class??

Op here. DC is supposed to be in country x for study abroad. They went to Italy with friends long weekend, missed classes. After the initial where tf are you text chat and what about school question, I got over it shaking my head. But curious what drum parents would do in that situation.

omg!!! cut the apron strings!! study abroad is about travel and experiencing world culture. not about an academic grind.

Heck. yes! Cutting class is OK periodically if you are managing the course and the expectations. And do it for fun good things, like, road trip to another college for a concert, traveling to another city, first perfect spring day to just hang out on the quad on blankets.

If you need more information on the details and the rationale (this is the most serious onion article I have ever read: https://www.theonion.com/account-manager-fondly-remembers-day-in-college-when-ev-1819565644

it’s part of being an adult to learn how to make the tradeoffs between fun and work properly.

the only thing I would be disappointed about is if my kid in a study abroad program was hanging out exclusively with Americans and speaking English all the time.

LOL. I studied abroad. My spouse studied abroad. All of our kids studied abroad. Whether it's a foreign language program or not (and most of ours were), you're spending the overwhelming majority of your time hanging out and traveling with the other Americans on your program. The only exception is if you're cute and female, in which case you get attention from foreign guys who think American women are easy.

you only think that because that’s what you did! I spent the majority of my time with native speakers and locals. I deliberately made sure I wasn’t rooming with Americans only.

Well, either you are a super nerd, are lying, or were putting out. Because that's the exception, not the rule.

DP: In my study abroad I was housed in a dorm with a roommate from the country and mainly hung out with her friends. The other people in my program were in different dorms with their friends. We went to regular classes at the university and on breaks I went back to my roommates home or the homes of other friends I met. I did do some traveling with other exchange students and we had a weekly get-together, but that was about it.

[Anonymous]

If you need more information on the details and the rationale (this is the most serious onion article I have ever read: https://www.theonion.com/account-manager-fondly-remembers-day-in-college-when-ev-1819565644

Lol! This was a hilarious article. It was a great antidote to the ridiculous hand-wringing that goes on on this website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't control your child anymore.

You will feel proud of some of their decisions/actions, and concerned about others.

You had your time to instill values and judgement in her...so hopefully she won't go too far off the rails. But, she is young and will make mistakes just like we all did. And that will leave its mark on her, just as you did.

I am a little like you (i.e., still trying to guide her in the way I think is best). But we have to be careful or they just won't tell us what is going on in their lives, because they don't want to deal with the disapproval....

This is such a kind response. I'm baffled by how cruel and dismissive DCUM can be at times. God bless you!

[Anonymous]

As long as the grades stay up, who cares.

[Anonymous]

My kid knows which professors take attendance and which don’t. She’s a junior that maintains 3.9 gpa and a $35/hour internship lined up. I don’t care what she does, so she always tells me what she’s up to.

[Anonymous]

I can't relate to parents who brag about "not caring" what they children do.

And I can't imagine how I would feel if I was a very young woman in another country, and had the sense that my parents did not care what I was up to.

My mom could never wait to hear from me when I was overseas. She wanted every detail (what I wore, what I ate). She reminded me of how to stay safe. It made me feel loved.

[Anonymous]

I agree with all the sentiments here. BUT, I have once or twice reminded my kids that the cost of tuition comes to something like $200 per class session. The subtext being, if you skip, it better be for something good!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What other country??? Are we talking Canada? Did you go to college OP? Did you ever skip class??

Op here. DC is supposed to be in country x for study abroad. They went to Italy with friends long weekend, missed classes. After the initial where tf are you text chat and what about school question, I got over it shaking my head. But curious what drum parents would do in that situation.

omg!!! cut the apron strings!! study abroad is about travel and experiencing world culture. not about an academic grind.

Heck. yes! Cutting class is OK periodically if you are managing the course and the expectations. And do it for fun good things, like, road trip to another college for a concert, traveling to another city, first perfect spring day to just hang out on the quad on blankets.

If you need more information on the details and the rationale (this is the most serious onion article I have ever read: https://www.theonion.com/account-manager-fondly-remembers-day-in-college-when-ev-1819565644

it’s part of being an adult to learn how to make the tradeoffs between fun and work properly.

the only thing I would be disappointed about is if my kid in a study abroad program was hanging out exclusively with Americans and speaking English all the time.

LOL. I studied abroad. My spouse studied abroad. All of our kids studied abroad. Whether it's a foreign language program or not (and most of ours were), you're spending the overwhelming majority of your time hanging out and traveling with the other Americans on your program. The only exception is if you're cute and female, in which case you get attention from foreign guys who think American women are easy.

you only think that because that’s what you did! I spent the majority of my time with native speakers and locals. I deliberately made sure I wasn’t rooming with Americans only.

Well, either you are a super nerd, are lying, or were putting out. Because that's the exception, not the rule.

wow um ok. I can assure you I was out at the bar with my local roommates. And yes, studying the language diligently. The great thing about being a language nerd abroad is that going to bars and watching TV constitute nerding out. Most of the American friends I had abroad or have spent serious time studying language or cultures leave the US because they want to be immersed. That’s kind of … the whole point?

but yeah there always is a subset of obnoxious americans who seem to view study abroad as a giant frat party. I would be disappointed if my kid was one of those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What other country??? Are we talking Canada? Did you go to college OP? Did you ever skip class??

Op here. DC is supposed to be in country x for study abroad. They went to Italy with friends long weekend, missed classes. After the initial where tf are you text chat and what about school question, I got over it shaking my head. But curious what drum parents would do in that situation.

omg!!! cut the apron strings!! study abroad is about travel and experiencing world culture. not about an academic grind.

Heck. yes! Cutting class is OK periodically if you are managing the course and the expectations. And do it for fun good things, like, road trip to another college for a concert, traveling to another city, first perfect spring day to just hang out on the quad on blankets.

If you need more information on the details and the rationale (this is the most serious onion article I have ever read: https://www.theonion.com/account-manager-fondly-remembers-day-in-college-when-ev-1819565644

it’s part of being an adult to learn how to make the tradeoffs between fun and work properly.

the only thing I would be disappointed about is if my kid in a study abroad program was hanging out exclusively with Americans and speaking English all the time.

LOL. I studied abroad. My spouse studied abroad. All of our kids studied abroad. Whether it's a foreign language program or not (and most of ours were), you're spending the overwhelming majority of your time hanging out and traveling with the other Americans on your program. The only exception is if you're cute and female, in which case you get attention from foreign guys who think American women are easy.

you only think that because that’s what you did! I spent the majority of my time with native speakers and locals. I deliberately made sure I wasn’t rooming with Americans only.

Well, either you are a super nerd, are lying, or were putting out. Because that's the exception, not the rule.

Yikes sorry you're having such a bad day that you need to feel so nasty. I'm another person here who studied abroad and spent at least half the time, if not more, with natives instead of Americans, because I lived in a dorm filled with natives (I was the only American on my floor) and took classes at the university with natives. To this day I have close friends from that country, as well as some of the other Americans in the program.

There were a handful of students in my program who made it a point not to hang out with Americans, just with the native students.

Not all study abroad programs are the same.

Did you record your time spent with each group for future reference? When you traveled during your breaks, did you travel with locals or other Americans? I find that as time goes by people tend to romanticize and exaggerate these things.

I spent 2 years abroad and 95% of that time was with local roommates. One of the roommates was bilingual from an English speaking country but we exclusively spoke the local language together. I did have some good American friends. I would say going by time, at least 80% was in the native language/with native speakers, or in language classes. That’s why I ended up with a really high level of fluency that I retain today.

[Anonymous]

This is not HS.., unless kid is struggling to pass