WWYD: Found out there was drinking and weed at Halloween Party (DD 15)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drug test her at home

Yes, this. You can get pee kits at the dollar store. I've used them with my son.

The marijuana that is out there these days is way stronger than what we had back in the day. It's linked to a higher incidence of psychosis and other poor outcomes. I smoked as a teenager and regret it. Will not allow my son to make the same mistake.

[Anonymous]

I reminded my kids all the time about consequences. They had so many things they will lose if they get in trouble. They were in private school with scholarships and all that was on the line if social things supersede academic success. If they got in any sort of trouble at home, they knee DH and I would pull the plug on extracurricular activities that they valued. The ball was always in their court. They knew my feelings and expectations. We had well planned out strategies that allowed them to exit bad situations and still save face with friends (i’m no fool. I would like to think they could stand up to peer pressure but I totally get sometimes that’s uncomfortable so I still wanted them to be able to get out and be able to place all the blame on me) They know I would trust them unless they proved themselves otherwise untrustworthy. Made it to college age without drama and crossing fingers from here!

[Anonymous]

I regret the parties I went to in 10th grade. I was too young for the mayhem. I did get grounded from one and it kept me from more mayhem. Just keep an open line of communication and let her know you trust her. I would mention convent/drinking can cloud that issue/etc. I speak from experience.

[Anonymous]

Consent lol Not convent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was me at 15 and by college I was over all the partying and bingeing while my new college friends who were sheltered in high school went overboard.

Such a tired trope. Plenty of kids with boundaries go to college and don’t binge. I went to school with many and admired their focus and commitment to their values.

[Anonymous]

The fastest way to make your kid stop smoking weed is if they see you do it.

Next time she comes home, casually set up a bong in the kitchen and take huge rips in front of her and get totally blitzed.

She will never want to smoke again.

[Anonymous]

Weird balancing act here if you want to do it, OP.

You want your kid to trust you, talk to you, socialize in your home,
You want your kid to not do drugs etc.

I'd say, be safe. So, first up is birth control.
I tell my kids I will drive them and friends at any time of night, anywhere, no questions asked. Uber is authorized although also has its risks.

Agree with what others said about being the place to hang.
and, You don't want drugs and alcohol at your home. So, dilemma.

Drug tests at home are certainly an option to help her not try it and give her an out with friends.

I did the same things at 15 - pot, cigarettes, drinking - and I am a responsible adult with a job, good credit score, my own home, etc. Hard to predict which kids will get sucked into addiction.

I guess don't go nuts but try to set up bumper rails for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marijuana is legal now.

It's not legal for people under 21 anywhere.

Still have to buy it from illegal dealers in VA, and drug dealers do not ask teens for ID.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird balancing act here if you want to do it, OP.

You want your kid to trust you, talk to you, socialize in your home,
You want your kid to not do drugs etc.

I'd say, be safe. So, first up is birth control.
I tell my kids I will drive them and friends at any time of night, anywhere, no questions asked. Uber is authorized although also has its risks.

Agree with what others said about being the place to hang.
and, You don't want drugs and alcohol at your home. So, dilemma.

Drug tests at home are certainly an option to help her not try it and give her an out with friends.

I did the same things at 15 - pot, cigarettes, drinking - and I am a responsible adult with a job, good credit score, my own home, etc. Hard to predict which kids will get sucked into addiction.

I guess don't go nuts but try to set up bumper rails for her.

The younger the kids are, the more likely they will get addicted. Using drugs & alcohol at 13 is more likely to lead to addiction than if the child started at 15. Same if kid starts at 15 v 17. Prolonging it is best thing you can do. Eventually they will experiment, but hopefully that’s all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird balancing act here if you want to do it, OP.

You want your kid to trust you, talk to you, socialize in your home,
You want your kid to not do drugs etc.

I'd say, be safe. So, first up is birth control.
I tell my kids I will drive them and friends at any time of night, anywhere, no questions asked. Uber is authorized although also has its risks.

Agree with what others said about being the place to hang.
and, You don't want drugs and alcohol at your home. So, dilemma.

Drug tests at home are certainly an option to help her not try it and give her an out with friends.

I did the same things at 15 - pot, cigarettes, drinking - and I am a responsible adult with a job, good credit score, my own home, etc. Hard to predict which kids will get sucked into addiction.

I guess don't go nuts but try to set up bumper rails for her.

The younger the kids are, the more likely they will get addicted. Using drugs & alcohol at 13 is more likely to lead to addiction than if the child started at 15. Same if kid starts at 15 v 17. Prolonging it is best thing you can do. Eventually they will experiment, but hopefully that’s all.

Please. If it was really as dangerous as you say, then they would never have legalized it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird balancing act here if you want to do it, OP.

You want your kid to trust you, talk to you, socialize in your home,
You want your kid to not do drugs etc.

I'd say, be safe. So, first up is birth control.
I tell my kids I will drive them and friends at any time of night, anywhere, no questions asked. Uber is authorized although also has its risks.

Agree with what others said about being the place to hang.
and, You don't want drugs and alcohol at your home. So, dilemma.

Drug tests at home are certainly an option to help her not try it and give her an out with friends.

I did the same things at 15 - pot, cigarettes, drinking - and I am a responsible adult with a job, good credit score, my own home, etc. Hard to predict which kids will get sucked into addiction.

I guess don't go nuts but try to set up bumper rails for her.

The younger the kids are, the more likely they will get addicted. Using drugs & alcohol at 13 is more likely to lead to addiction than if the child started at 15. Same if kid starts at 15 v 17. Prolonging it is best thing you can do. Eventually they will experiment, but hopefully that’s all.

Please. If it was really as dangerous as you say, then they would never have legalized it.

Oh you are so naive. The stuff is 20 times stronger than when I was a teen. Leads more often to Marijuana misuse disorder, and can trigger schizophrenia is teen users who smoke heavily. Plus, when they smoke it in carts, it can be laced with fentanyl. Which is something nobody wants to mess with.

Adults want to smoke that foul smelling stuff, then fine. But kids should stay far away.

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/marijuana-use-disorder-common-often-untreated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird balancing act here if you want to do it, OP.

You want your kid to trust you, talk to you, socialize in your home,
You want your kid to not do drugs etc.

I'd say, be safe. So, first up is birth control.
I tell my kids I will drive them and friends at any time of night, anywhere, no questions asked. Uber is authorized although also has its risks.

Agree with what others said about being the place to hang.
and, You don't want drugs and alcohol at your home. So, dilemma.

Drug tests at home are certainly an option to help her not try it and give her an out with friends.

I did the same things at 15 - pot, cigarettes, drinking - and I am a responsible adult with a job, good credit score, my own home, etc. Hard to predict which kids will get sucked into addiction.

I guess don't go nuts but try to set up bumper rails for her.

The younger the kids are, the more likely they will get addicted. Using drugs & alcohol at 13 is more likely to lead to addiction than if the child started at 15. Same if kid starts at 15 v 17. Prolonging it is best thing you can do. Eventually they will experiment, but hopefully that’s all.

Please. If it was really as dangerous as you say, then they would never have legalized it.

Oh you are so naive. The stuff is 20 times stronger than when I was a teen. Leads more often to Marijuana misuse disorder, and can trigger schizophrenia is teen users who smoke heavily. Plus, when they smoke it in carts, it can be laced with fentanyl. Which is something nobody wants to mess with.

Adults want to smoke that foul smelling stuff, then fine. But kids should stay far away.

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/marijuana-use-disorder-common-often-untreated

+1

Adults who smoke it have their own personal demons....Go away and get that foul smelling stuff away as well!

[Anonymous]

Anyone know good books and articles for teens that explains why they should stay away or at least delay as long as possible?

[Anonymous]

My daughter experimented in high school and I am sure had some wild times in college, but I think being an athlete may have curbed things a bit.
If there are any parents of very young kids reading this: if your child is at all inclined put them in a sport and make them stick with it. We talked all the time about your body being a temple and how smokers can’t run, swim, insert whatever sport here. Having to get up super early for practice in high school/college discouraged all but mild hangovers. I know athletes still abuse drugs and alcohol, but sports really provide an opportunity for parents to talk to their children about the wonders of being physically strong and powerful versus weak and addicted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone know good books and articles for teens that explains why they should stay away or at least delay as long as possible?

Well, for alcohol, it's pretty clear that it can have negative effects on the brain and that those are exacerbated the younger you are.

https://www.brainandlife.org/articles/how-does-alcohol-affect-the-teenage-brain/