Failing at work - WFH with baby

[Anonymous]

Does your employer even allow you to be the primary care giver of an infant while pretending to also work your full time job? That usually is not allowed and it is terrible for the baby too.

[Anonymous]

You're not a failure, but this was a terrible decision. Of course you can't take care of a baby and work full time. WTH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked from home before 2020 as a federal employee and it BAFFLES me that there are people out there who take advantage of this shit. I guarantee you your work requires childcare while teleworking. As another PP said, you are being stupid and likely doing something that strongly goes against the rules. Get a nanny, put kid in daycare, or stop working. You’re the reason work from home gets a bad reputation.

You mean you can’t understand how people with infants don’t want to put them in daycare right now? Seriously? And they perhaps cannot afford a nanny? I mean, RSV is raging right now among kids and so is COVID. The beds were full at Children’s recently and the ER wait was 8 hours. Every normal childhood illness now must be treated like COVID and require a clean PCR test to return. The infants and toddlers can’t wear masks but often caregivers have to, and they may or may not be vaxxed. Daycares weren’t exactly home-like bastions before and now with masked caregivers I can’t imagine putting an infant in one. People are not trying to take advantage of WFH, they are trying to keep their children safe and have been given no good options. Child care in this country is horrible and has gotten worse. The more women tear each other down for their choices instead of demanding more for all of us the further behind our country falls.

This is a nice story, but OP mentioned nothing abut covid, or being unable to afford daycare. She just wanted to be home with the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked from home before 2020 as a federal employee and it BAFFLES me that there are people out there who take advantage of this shit. I guarantee you your work requires childcare while teleworking. As another PP said, you are being stupid and likely doing something that strongly goes against the rules. Get a nanny, put kid in daycare, or stop working. You’re the reason work from home gets a bad reputation.

You mean you can’t understand how people with infants don’t want to put them in daycare right now? Seriously? And they perhaps cannot afford a nanny? I mean, RSV is raging right now among kids and so is COVID. The beds were full at Children’s recently and the ER wait was 8 hours. Every normal childhood illness now must be treated like COVID and require a clean PCR test to return. The infants and toddlers can’t wear masks but often caregivers have to, and they may or may not be vaxxed. Daycares weren’t exactly home-like bastions before and now with masked caregivers I can’t imagine putting an infant in one. People are not trying to take advantage of WFH, they are trying to keep their children safe and have been given no good options. Child care in this country is horrible and has gotten worse. The more women tear each other down for their choices instead of demanding more for all of us the further behind our country falls.

This is a nice story, but OP mentioned nothing abut covid, or being unable to afford daycare. She just wanted to be home with the kid.

I’m federal PP - I also got parents or paid babysitters and eventually got a nanny to keep my kid at home during covid for a few months and work (actually work) full time. I have no sympathy for OP, she is pretending to work that’s what irks me.

[Anonymous]

How do you handle work now? The only thing that worked for us with a 1 yr old at home when daycare was shut was doing shifts. E.g., I’d do childcare until afternoon nap, DH would take over for afternoons and evenings. We switched up when necessary for meetings. His job isn’t that demanding so it was okay for him, but for me it meant working in the evenings until 1/2 am and Sat and Sun nights. It sucked. Like, a lot - I ended up completely burning out and leaving for an easier job. I would not do it again. But, if you want to try to hold out a little longer to keep baby out of daycare, I think you need to do shifts. Or at least hire a babysitter for a few hours per day. We did WFH w/o childcare pre-vaccines when most were still quarantining and we were afraid to bring in outside help, but now I wouldn’t hesitate.

[Anonymous]

You need more paid parental leave.

[Anonymous]

Just like the rest of us, you setup childcare/daycare.

What did you think would happen Op? How did you not plan for this? This isn't even your first rodeo.

It will only get worse as baby starts to setup, grab everything possible, become mobile, and demand more interaction and attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your employer even allow you to be the primary care giver of an infant while pretending to also work your full time job? That usually is not allowed and it is terrible for the baby too.

And unfair to your fellow colleagues. You're doing less work, the work you do actually completes sucks, and yet you still get paid in full (not to mention not fired yet).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:send him to daycare. You are trying to do two jobs all day and that's not fair to your baby.

Thanks. I guess I needed to hear this. I feel guilty for choosing my job over him

You are not choosing your job over your baby. You love him, take excellent care of him, and need childcare so that you can earn a living.

It’s not one or the other.

[Anonymous]

You need childcare. I have empathy for not wanting to leave your baby when he or she is that little. So you are super lucky you don’t have to. Nanny, ASAP

[Anonymous]

You can’t be serious, OP. You’re failing at your job and taking care of your baby. Do better.

[Anonymous]

- Nanny
- Daycare
- You and/or DH quit, go PT, or rearrange your hours so that one of you is 100% with the baby at all times

Stop being cheap. Do your employers know you are juggling your jobs and childcare? I’m normally a “stick it to the man” kind of person but what you are doing is not cool because your poor work affects your colleagues too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:- Nanny
- Daycare
- You and/or DH quit, go PT, or rearrange your hours so that one of you is 100% with the baby at all times

Stop being cheap. Do your employers know you are juggling your jobs and childcare? I’m normally a “stick it to the man” kind of person but what you are doing is not cool because your poor work affects your colleagues too.

Yea, OP, sorry but you suck as an employee and a coworker. Hire a nanny. I had a kid 3 weeks after someone like you a few months prior to the pandemic, and wound up having to do all of her work because I actually found childcare while she did nothing, saved money and put it into a kitchen remodel. Talk about not fair to me or my baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:send him to daycare. You are trying to do two jobs all day and that's not fair to your baby.

Thanks. I guess I needed to hear this. I feel guilty for choosing my job over him

Why frame it that way, though? You're choosing to focus on your job during work hours, so that you can focus on your baby the rest of the time, rather than half-assing everything.

[Anonymous]

I'm honestly shocked your work would allow this....

or you are lying to them