Failing at work - WFH with baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t feel like a failure; most people can’t do well at work while caring for an infant full time. How is your 4 year old doing? Did that child do fine in daycare? Don’t feel guilty for giving your kid experienced care during the week so you can, in turn, earn a living to satisfy their many other needs.

+1000. Babies need a lot of attention and you cannot give full attention to baby and to work. In normal times, workplaces require that telecommuting employees have childcare in place for exactly this reason. During covid it wasn't really feasible to enforce this rule, but it's there for a reason!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Babies are not furniture. You can't just put your baby in a corner and expect it to stay parked there. Get a nanny.

Our household set up just doesn’t work for a nanny, and it’s also way above our budget. We’d have to send him to daycare with our 4 year old.

So send him to daycare. He's not six weeks old. He's 4 months old. Or, quit your job or ask for part time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have to send your kid to daycare. but you already know this.

+1 or get a nanny.

How did you ever think you could wfh and take care of a 4 month old?

[Anonymous]

This is stupid OP. Send to childcare. You can’t work and keep a baby at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t feel like a failure; most people can’t do well at work while caring for an infant full time. How is your 4 year old doing? Did that child do fine in daycare? Don’t feel guilty for giving your kid experienced care during the week so you can, in turn, earn a living to satisfy their many other needs.

This is very helpful and helps me overcome the guilt of not just quitting and staying with my baby. Me working provides for so many other needs.

Can you go part time at work?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I did this for over a year starting in May 2020. It requires flexible jobs. Without that, it’s not possible.

[Anonymous]

I did this for a year, almost broke our marriage. We have an in home nanny, it still requires me to be nursing him which is a pain but I’m way more productive and getting more sleep. Nannies aren’t as expensive as you think, I’m paying the same for ours as Bright Horizons charges downtown.

[Anonymous]

I worked from home before 2020 as a federal employee and it BAFFLES me that there are people out there who take advantage of this shit. I guarantee you your work requires childcare while teleworking. As another PP said, you are being stupid and likely doing something that strongly goes against the rules. Get a nanny, put kid in daycare, or stop working. You’re the reason work from home gets a bad reputation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked from home before 2020 as a federal employee and it BAFFLES me that there are people out there who take advantage of this shit. I guarantee you your work requires childcare while teleworking. As another PP said, you are being stupid and likely doing something that strongly goes against the rules. Get a nanny, put kid in daycare, or stop working. You’re the reason work from home gets a bad reputation.

You mean you can’t understand how people with infants don’t want to put them in daycare right now? Seriously? And they perhaps cannot afford a nanny? I mean, RSV is raging right now among kids and so is COVID. The beds were full at Children’s recently and the ER wait was 8 hours. Every normal childhood illness now must be treated like COVID and require a clean PCR test to return. The infants and toddlers can’t wear masks but often caregivers have to, and they may or may not be vaxxed. Daycares weren’t exactly home-like bastions before and now with masked caregivers I can’t imagine putting an infant in one. People are not trying to take advantage of WFH, they are trying to keep their children safe and have been given no good options. Child care in this country is horrible and has gotten worse. The more women tear each other down for their choices instead of demanding more for all of us the further behind our country falls.

[Anonymous]

This is the least shocking post of the day. DUH. I'm surprised your employer doesn't require proof of childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked from home before 2020 as a federal employee and it BAFFLES me that there are people out there who take advantage of this shit. I guarantee you your work requires childcare while teleworking. As another PP said, you are being stupid and likely doing something that strongly goes against the rules. Get a nanny, put kid in daycare, or stop working. You’re the reason work from home gets a bad reputation.

You mean you can’t understand how people with infants don’t want to put them in daycare right now? Seriously? And they perhaps cannot afford a nanny? I mean, RSV is raging right now among kids and so is COVID. The beds were full at Children’s recently and the ER wait was 8 hours. Every normal childhood illness now must be treated like COVID and require a clean PCR test to return. The infants and toddlers can’t wear masks but often caregivers have to, and they may or may not be vaxxed. Daycares weren’t exactly home-like bastions before and now with masked caregivers I can’t imagine putting an infant in one. People are not trying to take advantage of WFH, they are trying to keep their children safe and have been given no good options. Child care in this country is horrible and has gotten worse. The more women tear each other down for their choices instead of demanding more for all of us the further behind our country falls.

I had an actual COVID baby - in April of 2020 and our child has been in daycare for over a year. This OP knew what they were getting into so no excuses. Get the kid in daycare or quit your job.

[Anonymous]

OP, I get why you want to keep your baby home while you can — I was so grateful that the pandemic right when in was coming off maternity leave meant I didn’t have to put my little one into care as soon as in otherwise would. But I only worked ~30 hours a week while she was home with me (this was employer approved) and I still was shocked at how much easier it was when she finally didn’t start daycare. It’s so hard to split your focus and it’s easy to convince yourself it’s doable and fine when you’re really burning yourself out. I’ll join the chorus: get childcare. You’ll be so much happier and able to spend quality time with your little one of you’re not constantly stressed about work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked from home before 2020 as a federal employee and it BAFFLES me that there are people out there who take advantage of this shit. I guarantee you your work requires childcare while teleworking. As another PP said, you are being stupid and likely doing something that strongly goes against the rules. Get a nanny, put kid in daycare, or stop working. You’re the reason work from home gets a bad reputation.

You mean you can’t understand how people with infants don’t want to put them in daycare right now? Seriously? And they perhaps cannot afford a nanny? I mean, RSV is raging right now among kids and so is COVID. The beds were full at Children’s recently and the ER wait was 8 hours. Every normal childhood illness now must be treated like COVID and require a clean PCR test to return. The infants and toddlers can’t wear masks but often caregivers have to, and they may or may not be vaxxed. Daycares weren’t exactly home-like bastions before and now with masked caregivers I can’t imagine putting an infant in one. People are not trying to take advantage of WFH, they are trying to keep their children safe and have been given no good options. Child care in this country is horrible and has gotten worse. The more women tear each other down for their choices instead of demanding more for all of us the further behind our country falls.

I had an actual COVID baby - in April of 2020 and our child has been in daycare for over a year. This OP knew what they were getting into so no excuses. Get the kid in daycare or quit your job.

Out of a dozen or so people in my work group, 4 have newborns to age 5 kids and every single kid has been in daycare from age 3 months throughout covid. Yes, a bit more quarantine and rigamarole, but overall average-to-below-average problems with illness. They've actually had it easier than my colleagues with early elementary kids.

[Anonymous]

You need child care. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Taking care of an infant is a full time job. You cannot expect to do two full time jobs well. I agree with a PP who said don't be mad at yourself, be mad at our government that doesn't mandate longer, paid leave. But until that happens you'll either need to get a nanny, put your kid in daycare, or see if you can drop down to part time at your job. Based on your salary and the cost of childcare, would it at all make sense to quit if you really want to keep your baby home?