Failing at work - WFH with baby

[Anonymous]

Have a 4 month old who has been home with me and DH (we both WFH permanently) and it’s not working out. My work product is taking a bit. I can’t concentrate and I’m not detail oriented. The constant distractions don’t help. DH really helps a lot but it’s just not working. I feel like such a failure. This is our last baby and I just wanted to keep him home for one year.

[Anonymous]

Do you have child care?

[Anonymous]

Babies are not furniture. You can't just put your baby in a corner and expect it to stay parked there. Get a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have child care?

We could. I’ve just wanted to keep him home since he is our last and we’ve never been able to physically be home with our child. Our older kids were in daycare at 6 weeks. I feel guilty sending him. Thought about part time, but those other two days would still be tough and not many child care centers offer part time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Babies are not furniture. You can't just put your baby in a corner and expect it to stay parked there. Get a nanny.

Our household set up just doesn’t work for a nanny, and it’s also way above our budget. We’d have to send him to daycare with our 4 year old.

[Anonymous]

Send to daycare

[Anonymous]

OP here, my post sounds sort of negative, feel like my emotions are just taking over. I love our baby and enjoy having him at home a lot but as a result, my work is suffering.

[Anonymous]

send him to daycare. You are trying to do two jobs all day and that's not fair to your baby.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I can also say that as a result I’m working really late to catch up on work. I suppose logically if I was more productive during the day I’d have more time in the evenings and weekends to dedicate to all of my kids instead of being glued to a computer.

[Anonymous]

Don’t feel like a failure; most people can’t do well at work while caring for an infant full time. How is your 4 year old doing? Did that child do fine in daycare? Don’t feel guilty for giving your kid experienced care during the week so you can, in turn, earn a living to satisfy their many other needs.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have to send your kid to daycare. but you already know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:send him to daycare. You are trying to do two jobs all day and that's not fair to your baby.

Thanks. I guess I needed to hear this. I feel guilty for choosing my job over him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t feel like a failure; most people can’t do well at work while caring for an infant full time. How is your 4 year old doing? Did that child do fine in daycare? Don’t feel guilty for giving your kid experienced care during the week so you can, in turn, earn a living to satisfy their many other needs.

This is very helpful and helps me overcome the guilt of not just quitting and staying with my baby. Me working provides for so many other needs.

[Anonymous]

You need childcare to work effectively. You could look into having a less qualified nanny / mother's helper since you're home to supervise, although supervision requires time away from work. There are many ways to arrange childcare, and many ways to structure your workday so you have time with your kid, but you need some kind of childcare while you are working.

I have an ES kid and we hired a summer nanny when pandemic WFH started. Even with a relatively old kid who can and will read by herself, she needs more attention than I can give during the work day. Nanny worked 30 hours/week because DH and I staggered our start and end times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:send him to daycare. You are trying to do two jobs all day and that's not fair to your baby.

Thanks. I guess I needed to hear this. I feel guilty for choosing my job over him

You are being forced into this "choice" by your employer and US law. My friends in Canada don't love their kids or value their careers more than you. They just get a year leave before they have to choose. Join me in being mad, not guilty!