Grieving friend with unrealistic expectations mad at me
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Anonymous
Right now she has nothing. Something is better than nothing. |
Anonymous
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Next time, when someone you know is battling a disease...start putting a montage for them.
In fact, an even better idea is that all of us should start a photo montage of ourselves and and our family members. It can be used for graduation, birthdays, weddings, funerals, FB, Christmas card, home movies, college applications, job interviews...etc. |
Anonymous
Except then the friend will be upset it’s a crappy PowerPoint and stop talking to OP again. |
Anonymous
| OP, is that a way you could compromise on the final product to get something done in the time you have rather than just saying no? I very much appreciate professional standards, but perhaps something a little shorter, or where you do minimal editing to the photos that she selects? |
Anonymous
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I think when a friend is grieving the loss of a parent, you give what you can.
That doesn't mean spending a day on a full presentation that is to the best of your ability. That does mean spending an hour setting a few photos to music. An HOUR. Then send it to her and say, "I'm sorry I couldn't do more, but I've got a lot this week. I hope this is helpful." She probably would watch it and be very grateful and satisfied to have it. |
Anonymous
| I would slap together what you can. Better to have something than nothing. It doesn’t need to be perfect. Have a nice soundtrack, show whatever pics you can, and give her something. Instead of making dinner tonight order a pizza; prioritize this, and try your best. If she’s being an ass, trust that’s not who she really is. Grief makes people act in all kinds of ways. |
Anonymous
| I don't think you guys understand how long it takes to pull something like this together. I understand, OP. Just know that if you don't do it, she WILL hold the grudge forever. Everyone saying "let it go" doesn't understand that. Grieving people hold grudges like this forever. Your friendship is, unfortunately, over. It's not your fault. |
Anonymous
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to the previous poster, you would be a friendship worth loosing. A good friend lost their parent and you are being jerk about their grieving because it's inconvenient to you. I can tell by your post you have never lost a parent so should not tell someone else how to behave until you've lost one and actually experience what it's like.
OP, give your friend A LOT of room and patience. Grieving takes on a lot of forms, one of them being anger. It's not meant to be directed towards you but it's coming across that way. She would be appreciative if you could help with the photo montage regardless. She cannot bring herself to do it so if you could spend a little time doing it, it would be super helpful. Have her provide the pictures and songs and do what you can. |
Anonymous
OP, I totally understand why you cannot do a montage for your friend on such short notice. And that is okay. Ignore this pot stirrer. I can understand your friend’s grief - losing a parent is a very huge loss. Still, it is my personal opinion that your friend is acting disrespectful toward you considering everything you have already done for her already. I would stop communicating w/her since she seems to be ignoring your texts at this time. With time, hopefully your friend will realize that she let her grief cause her to behave irrationally and will apologize to you. It would be nice if this entire issue can blow over. Only time will tell…. |
Anonymous
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I did this recently and it doesn’t have to be so hard. Use your phone to take a photo of the photos you want to include. Upload them to Google photos. Play as a slideshow, done.
If you want to add slides with titles, add them in as a photo. Forget the music, just have it looping in the background. And music playing in the room. It may not be exactly what your friend wants but it’s a good compromise. |