9th grader threatened at school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son not to let his mouth write checks he can’t cash. I teach high school and see this all the time - kid runs his mouth and catches the right one on the wrong day. Tell your principal I guess but first deal with your son who created the issue.

He has adhd and anxiety. If you really are a teacher, you understand kids KNOW not to do it, but don’t always have the impulse control to prevent it.

Actions have consequences. Just like the dumb kids threatening your son online has consequences. Show the school the social media content. But ADHD/anxiety won’t shelter your kid from the real world of people who won’t put up with his attitude.

He is a 15 year old without a fully developed frontal cortex. He is learning how to navigate the world so let's give the concerned mom a break, huh?

So do the kids making threats. So let’s give them a break, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At some point he has to learn to control his mouth. What happens when he’s outside of school and says something? No resource officers there either. He can’t rely on someone else being willing to defend him when he is verbally instigating matters. It’s not fair to either law enforcement or the other kids. I bet he doesn’t even face consequences from you or the school for the horrible things he said.

LOL. If only parenting a special needs child were so simple.

Which is why she has extra work to do. But she can’t expect that the rest of the world is going to accept verbal abuse from Larlo with a shrug. Sounds like he has an average IQ. He should be able to learn there are consequences to his words. If he can’t, he needs a different placement.

[Anonymous]

Call guidance for help with mediation. Your child should accept fault for being a verbal bully to the other child. Lots of school’ guidance can help with this. Your issue is that your child abused verbally another child so find a way to address that and a way for your child to make that right. Your child regardless of special needs that make controlling his behavior harder still must accept consequences for his actions and he started this. If you have actual proof of the threat the other boy made in response alert guidance to that as well. You likely need to escort your child to and from school until this is resolved to keep him safe. Words have consequences and even when special needs like ADHD and anxiety issues make controlling words harder, they still have consequences. Your child is old enough to learn this lesson although with his issues it will be a very hard lesson to learn but in the long run very valuable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son not to let his mouth write checks he can’t cash. I teach high school and see this all the time - kid runs his mouth and catches the right one on the wrong day. Tell your principal I guess but first deal with your son who created the issue.

Running mouth does not mean it's ok to be threatened in school. PERIOD.

I guess. But running his mouth is also abusing the other kid, depending on what was said. If he was running his mouth about a physical disability, or the other kid's intelligence, or his looks, then he's def not an innocent bystander here.

In fact, if this ended now, with only a threat to kick his ass (and no actual violence occurs), then OP's kid would be the one that was in the wrong.

Tell him to STFU and stop bullying other people

Um, no. Threat of violence puts you in the wrong also no matter what someone says to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call guidance for help with mediation. Your child should accept fault for being a verbal bully to the other child. Lots of school’ guidance can help with this. Your issue is that your child abused verbally another child so find a way to address that and a way for your child to make that right. Your child regardless of special needs that make controlling his behavior harder still must accept consequences for his actions and he started this. If you have actual proof of the threat the other boy made in response alert guidance to that as well. You likely need to escort your child to and from school until this is resolved to keep him safe. Words have consequences and even when special needs like ADHD and anxiety issues make controlling words harder, they still have consequences. Your child is old enough to learn this lesson although with his issues it will be a very hard lesson to learn but in the long run very valuable.

As per OP: "He has already apologized." This would indicate that he has accepted fault already. I agree that the school's guidance department should be contacted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call guidance for help with mediation. Your child should accept fault for being a verbal bully to the other child. Lots of school’ guidance can help with this. Your issue is that your child abused verbally another child so find a way to address that and a way for your child to make that right. Your child regardless of special needs that make controlling his behavior harder still must accept consequences for his actions and he started this. If you have actual proof of the threat the other boy made in response alert guidance to that as well. You likely need to escort your child to and from school until this is resolved to keep him safe. Words have consequences and even when special needs like ADHD and anxiety issues make controlling words harder, they still have consequences. Your child is old enough to learn this lesson although with his issues it will be a very hard lesson to learn but in the long run very valuable.

As per OP: "He has already apologized." This would indicate that he has accepted fault already. I agree that the school's guidance department should be contacted.

I hope he learned his lesson, and doesn't get his ass kicked. Sad that he is going to be scared for the next 4 years now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son not to let his mouth write checks he can’t cash. I teach high school and see this all the time - kid runs his mouth and catches the right one on the wrong day. Tell your principal I guess but first deal with your son who created the issue.

Oh well if this is the attitude of high school teachers, it’s pretty easy to see why schools are a mess.

Ma’am I can’t raise your kids for you. They’re teenagers when they get to us. We intervene in bullying but if a kid goes off and starts saying stuff that’s out of pocket and the other kids get pissed, what do you expect?? Obviously nobody wants to see a kid get hurt and hopefully the threats are empty but a kid who runs his mouth eventually will learn this lesson - for OP’s kid, maybe just because scared enough to believe them will set him straight. To be honest some of the “worst” incidents I’ve seen are kids who come at the kids who make fun of or victimize the students with special needs. They really take that personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At some point he has to learn to control his mouth. What happens when he’s outside of school and says something? No resource officers there either. He can’t rely on someone else being willing to defend him when he is verbally instigating matters. It’s not fair to either law enforcement or the other kids. I bet he doesn’t even face consequences from you or the school for the horrible things he said.

LOL. If only parenting a special needs child were so simple.

The kid is not special needs. My son has ADHD. Diagonosed at age 5 and lacks impulse control. He is under doctor care, takes medication and can be a complete jerk with his words before his medication kicks in. I have never once considered him special needs.

He needs medication to control his impulses. That's literally a special need. You are one of those people who equates special needs with low iq. That's not the totality or necessarily what It means.
-dp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you making fun of this, my kid goes to a DCPS and one of his friends mouthed off to an upper-classman two years ago (Pre-covid). He was beaten up pretty badly the next day--pushed down and pummeled in the gut and head by a group of kids. My kid got hauled in to testify about what went down.

This stuff definitely happens in some schools. Just maybe not in your bubble.

The issue is... i would move heaven and hell to make sure my.kid didn't go to a violent school. Why haven't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you making fun of this, my kid goes to a DCPS and one of his friends mouthed off to an upper-classman two years ago (Pre-covid). He was beaten up pretty badly the next day--pushed down and pummeled in the gut and head by a group of kids. My kid got hauled in to testify about what went down.

This stuff definitely happens in some schools. Just maybe not in your bubble.

DP: This stuff does, indeed, happen. Which is why it is an extremely important survival skill for kids to have the social skills and the self control and the judgement to not mouth off at anyone, let alone someone bigger, or whose ability to retaliate is unknown. The OP has carefully avoided describing what her son said, and that’s fine. That leaves open the possibility that he’s a bully with poor judgement who seriously overstepped some very basic lines. We also don’t know what his apology was like, but “ooh, my bad. Sorry” would be completely inadequate if he said something truly offensive, personal, and public.

I agree with the suggestions about seeking help from the guidance office and school administrators. There might be a Restorative Justice program available that would address the harm done by the OP’s son, develop a plan including mutually agreed upon consequences, and help the other kid save face and feel that his needs are being seen and addressed.

I’m very concerned about what measures the OP plan to put in place to help a kid who would mouth off at another kid “known to carry knives” (really?) develop age-appropriate judgement and self-control. If this is his first month in a new school, unless something changes, the OP’s son has potentially set himself up for an extremely difficult 4 years.

- Someone who has actively participated in school based crisis intervention plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you making fun of this, my kid goes to a DCPS and one of his friends mouthed off to an upper-classman two years ago (Pre-covid). He was beaten up pretty badly the next day--pushed down and pummeled in the gut and head by a group of kids. My kid got hauled in to testify about what went down.

This stuff definitely happens in some schools. Just maybe not in your bubble.

The issue is... i would move heaven and hell to make sure my.kid didn't go to a violent school. Why haven't you?

You do get that not everyone has the resources to do this, right? For extra credit, you might also want to realize that everyone has the potential to be violent if the right/wrong buttons are pushed. So maybe it’s not the school that’s violent. You would “move heaven and hell” in this situation. We don’t know, but that’s possibly what the second kid was doing after being publicly disrespected by a younger student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you making fun of this, my kid goes to a DCPS and one of his friends mouthed off to an upper-classman two years ago (Pre-covid). He was beaten up pretty badly the next day--pushed down and pummeled in the gut and head by a group of kids. My kid got hauled in to testify about what went down.

This stuff definitely happens in some schools. Just maybe not in your bubble.

The issue is... i would move heaven and hell to make sure my.kid didn't go to a violent school. Why haven't you?

lol. I assume your kid is about age 5. You're going to have a rude awakening and do a lot of moving when your kid hits high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid has a mouth and he pissed off a kid, who has no threatened to beat him up tomorrow. His crowd is known to carry knives, too. There are no school resource officers anymore. So it's not like my kid can go tell police, who might keep an eye on the situation.

What would you tell your son to do? He has already apologized. But that doesn't matter much....because.....teens.

So . . . is everything ok now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son not to let his mouth write checks he can’t cash. I teach high school and see this all the time - kid runs his mouth and catches the right one on the wrong day. Tell your principal I guess but first deal with your son who created the issue.

He has adhd and anxiety. If you really are a teacher, you understand kids KNOW not to do it, but don’t always have the impulse control to prevent it.

DO have you considered that your son’s anxiety makes him think that there’s a crowd of kids all carrying knives and prepared to use them?

Ah, the people who don't understand today's schools. Same people who blame teachers for being "overpaid" and entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son not to let his mouth write checks he can’t cash. I teach high school and see this all the time - kid runs his mouth and catches the right one on the wrong day. Tell your principal I guess but first deal with your son who created the issue.

He has adhd and anxiety. If you really are a teacher, you understand kids KNOW not to do it, but don’t always have the impulse control to prevent it.

DO have you considered that your son’s anxiety makes him think that there’s a crowd of kids all carrying knives and prepared to use them?

Ah, the people who don't understand today's schools. Same people who blame teachers for being "overpaid" and entitled.

I wrote that comment and I’m a public school teacher. Every year, anxious students at my school tell their parents things about gangs, weapons, and drugs that simply are not true. Some of it is that they are told these things by older students who are trying to frighten them. However, a lot of these students have anxiety and manufacture these threats to their safety on their own. Not infrequently with the help of family biases toward people of a particular race, ethnicity, or SES.