9th grader threatened at school?

[Anonymous]

For those of you making fun of this, my kid goes to a DCPS and one of his friends mouthed off to an upper-classman two years ago (Pre-covid). He was beaten up pretty badly the next day--pushed down and pummeled in the gut and head by a group of kids. My kid got hauled in to testify about what went down.

This stuff definitely happens in some schools. Just maybe not in your bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son not to let his mouth write checks he can’t cash. I teach high school and see this all the time - kid runs his mouth and catches the right one on the wrong day. Tell your principal I guess but first deal with your son who created the issue.

Running mouth does not mean it's ok to be threatened in school. PERIOD.

Where did I say it was? I didn’t. I even offered advice. But this is a self created problem and that’s something OP can handle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son not to let his mouth write checks he can’t cash. I teach high school and see this all the time - kid runs his mouth and catches the right one on the wrong day. Tell your principal I guess but first deal with your son who created the issue.

He has adhd and anxiety. If you really are a teacher, you understand kids KNOW not to do it, but don’t always have the impulse control to prevent it.

Actions have consequences. Just like the dumb kids threatening your son online has consequences. Show the school the social media content. But ADHD/anxiety won’t shelter your kid from the real world of people who won’t put up with his attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son not to let his mouth write checks he can’t cash. I teach high school and see this all the time - kid runs his mouth and catches the right one on the wrong day. Tell your principal I guess but first deal with your son who created the issue.

He has adhd and anxiety. If you really are a teacher, you understand kids KNOW not to do it, but don’t always have the impulse control to prevent it.

Actions have consequences. Just like the dumb kids threatening your son online has consequences. Show the school the social media content. But ADHD/anxiety won’t shelter your kid from the real world of people who won’t put up with his attitude.

He is a 15 year old without a fully developed frontal cortex. He is learning how to navigate the world so let's give the concerned mom a break, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son not to let his mouth write checks he can’t cash. I teach high school and see this all the time - kid runs his mouth and catches the right one on the wrong day. Tell your principal I guess but first deal with your son who created the issue.

Running mouth does not mean it's ok to be threatened in school. PERIOD.

I guess. But running his mouth is also abusing the other kid, depending on what was said. If he was running his mouth about a physical disability, or the other kid's intelligence, or his looks, then he's def not an innocent bystander here.

In fact, if this ended now, with only a threat to kick his ass (and no actual violence occurs), then OP's kid would be the one that was in the wrong.

Tell him to STFU and stop bullying other people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son not to let his mouth write checks he can’t cash. I teach high school and see this all the time - kid runs his mouth and catches the right one on the wrong day. Tell your principal I guess but first deal with your son who created the issue.

He has adhd and anxiety. If you really are a teacher, you understand kids KNOW not to do it, but don’t always have the impulse control to prevent it.

Actions have consequences. Just like the dumb kids threatening your son online has consequences. Show the school the social media content. But ADHD/anxiety won’t shelter your kid from the real world of people who won’t put up with his attitude.

He is a 15 year old without a fully developed frontal cortex. He is learning how to navigate the world so let's give the concerned mom a break, huh?

So are the kids with knives. Bet their moms won’t get a break from DCUM even if they just threaten him.

[Anonymous]

Former high school teacher.

There isn't much the school can do besides talk to both of them. They'll never tell you this, but as long as the weapons aren't on school property, it's not really their concern legally. Of course no one wants a student to be injured, and we deal with so many fatalities involving students after school. ADHD and anxiety aren't the same as severe autism or a severe developmental delay. If your son is able to be in a gen ed classroom, then he has the capacity to learn the consequences of his actions. He NEEDS to learn this if he's going to survive in the outside world. As a former sped teacher, I don't say that with any ill intent or blame directed at you. I used to worry myself sick about some of our students who were given all the resources they needed to feel comfortable at school, but those same things were crippling them because the "real world" wouldn't provide supports for executive functioning and impulse control. And if your child is a minority, then it's doubly important that he learn these things because law enforcement and overzealous "concerned citizens" will not hesitate to respond without any concern for his special needs.

For now, the best thing you can do in this situation is tell your child to stay away from those kids outside of class. Inform the school and ask if a dean or counselor can mediate the situation with the two kids. That will at least let the other kids know that the authorities are aware. It may not stop them from chastising and threatening him, but it will at least do something to prevent serious physical injury. And I'm going to be honest, it may be a good thing that your child is terrified. It may drive home the point that some situations can't be easily resolved by his parents or other adults, so he's going to have to be careful next time. Fear and survival are hardwired into all of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son not to let his mouth write checks he can’t cash. I teach high school and see this all the time - kid runs his mouth and catches the right one on the wrong day. Tell your principal I guess but first deal with your son who created the issue.

Oh well if this is the attitude of high school teachers, it’s pretty easy to see why schools are a mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son not to let his mouth write checks he can’t cash. I teach high school and see this all the time - kid runs his mouth and catches the right one on the wrong day. Tell your principal I guess but first deal with your son who created the issue.

+1 to the first sentence. I would alert the principal. Then I would tell my son this weekend to watch his mouth because you never know who you're really dealing with. It will serve him well in many situations, such as deciding not to tell the guy in the next car at the stop light something like "learn to drive!" and the big guy gets out of his car and comes for a confrontation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid has a mouth and he pissed off a kid, who has no threatened to beat him up tomorrow. His crowd is known to carry knives, too. There are no school resource officers anymore. So it's not like my kid can go tell police, who might keep an eye on the situation.

What would you tell your son to do? He has already apologized. But that doesn't matter much....because.....teens.

Teach him the fetal fighting position. He won't get stabbed, just emasculated. That's how most high school fights go in these situations of retribution against a mouthy kid. It will be over by Monday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At some point he has to learn to control his mouth. What happens when he’s outside of school and says something? No resource officers there either. He can’t rely on someone else being willing to defend him when he is verbally instigating matters. It’s not fair to either law enforcement or the other kids. I bet he doesn’t even face consequences from you or the school for the horrible things he said.

LOL. If only parenting a special needs child were so simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid has a mouth and he pissed off a kid, who has no threatened to beat him up tomorrow. His crowd is known to carry knives, too. There are no school resource officers anymore. So it's not like my kid can go tell police, who might keep an eye on the situation.

What would you tell your son to do? He has already apologized. But that doesn't matter much....because.....teens.

Kids don't carry knives at dcs school so there's hour first problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I just want to say that I’m sorry all these posters are lecturing you, like oh if you just have your SN kid in therapy and on medication, he won’t say stupid impulsive stuff. If only.
If you have it on social media definitely take a screen shot to show the administration. Without seeing it or knowing the kids involved, it’s really hard to tell whether it’s macho BS or a real threat.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At some point he has to learn to control his mouth. What happens when he’s outside of school and says something? No resource officers there either. He can’t rely on someone else being willing to defend him when he is verbally instigating matters. It’s not fair to either law enforcement or the other kids. I bet he doesn’t even face consequences from you or the school for the horrible things he said.

LOL. If only parenting a special needs child were so simple.

The kid is not special needs. My son has ADHD. Diagonosed at age 5 and lacks impulse control. He is under doctor care, takes medication and can be a complete jerk with his words before his medication kicks in. I have never once considered him special needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At some point he has to learn to control his mouth. What happens when he’s outside of school and says something? No resource officers there either. He can’t rely on someone else being willing to defend him when he is verbally instigating matters. It’s not fair to either law enforcement or the other kids. I bet he doesn’t even face consequences from you or the school for the horrible things he said.

LOL. If only parenting a special needs child were so simple.

The kid is not special needs. My son has ADHD. Diagonosed at age 5 and lacks impulse control. He is under doctor care, takes medication and can be a complete jerk with his words before his medication kicks in. I have never once considered him special needs.

Your child a single special need that can be mostly met by medication. I have found that for kids with two or more overlapping issues (like OP's son), medication/behavior interventions/therapies have to be more multi-layered, and can take more years to pay off.

Just curious but how does your son handle the pre- and post-medication times of his day? How old was he when he became self-aware and also able to manage himself in those times?