Is there someone who just doesn't like you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few of my friends H’s don’t like me. They think women should be seen and not heard.

I irk them.

Why the hell does your husband have (and keep) friends like that?

Not my H.

My friends’ husbands.

Mmmkay so why are you friends with submissive women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few of my friends H’s don’t like me. They think women should be seen and not heard.

I irk them.

Why the hell does your husband have (and keep) friends like that?

Not my H.

My friends’ husbands.

Mmmkay so why are you friends with submissive women?

You mean why are my friends submissive.

Idk.

One is a widow and desperately remarried
One is just sweet, a nurse.

Some were raised Catholic (we’ve been friends since grade school) so I think that something.

One married late and was desperate to have kids.

[Anonymous]

A former work colleague.

I felt sort of bad in the end because everyone generally likes me. I am the sort of person you REALLY have to piss off for me to turn against you and I value a positive attitude and just being kind/decent.

Anyway, our department was going through a lot of upheaval and I was the most senior by position and already had some leadership duties. My understanding was that I was to function in an "acting" role. Her role was specific to a lot of the contractors we had in our department and she also said she was actively job-hunting/seeking to leave. Her previous boss in our department was notoriously secretive and if you interacted with her team you or her team would be interrogated, so I didn't interact with her a lot.

She never told me she felt like i was excluding her, but apparently that was the case. Worse, I got the impression that she thought it could have been racially motivated, which i felt REALLY badly about because not only was I not trying to exclude her I certainly wasn't basing it on her race.

My feelings of guilt were somewhat mitigated by the way she left. She refused to give me any information about the contracts or contractors in our department despite making me the GTM/COTR for them and literally dumped three laptops that needed to be accounted for or sent for destruction (that no one could figure out where they belonged) right on the top of my desk as she walked out the door.

[Anonymous]

Did she not approve of you?

Are you a different race or different SES?

Only 1/3 of people will like you. 1/3 don’t care and 1/3 will hate you. There are a lot of people I just don’t care for. There are all sorts of reasons that turn me off - people who talk about themselves too much tops my list.

I’m sure I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. It is life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL doesn’t like me. It’s mutual now, but I honestly tried to like her and did, for some time. But in my own self interest, I had to go gray rock and set some boundaries, then she decided to attempt to overstep and actually climbed over these boundaries.

She very publicly shouted (more accurately: shrieked) at me and attempted to spell out every recent frustration she’d had with me. Did I mention this was public? After my DC’s youth sports event?

This was over a decade ago, but a defining moment for me: I stopped trying to curry her favor, or to ever be alone with her.

I’m unfailingly polite to her. Never rude. Quiet. I listen and add benign comments (really? oh? Sure! Ok. Awww. Yes.) and answer any questions asked of me.

She also now knows nothing about me-that is-unless DH tells her. I’m kind of a boring robot in front of my MIL and I’ll admit that I have to see her too often and feel anticipatory anxiety.

The funny thing is, I’m a funny, loving, sweet person who’s won accolades for my customer service and sales records. I can talk to anyone!

That’s why she hates you. You’re probably nothing like her and her son’s choosing of you makes her feel like she’s been rejected by him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did she not approve of you?

Are you a different race or different SES?

Only 1/3 of people will like you. 1/3 don’t care and 1/3 will hate you. There are a lot of people I just don’t care for. There are all sorts of reasons that turn me off - people who talk about themselves too much tops my list.

I’m sure I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. It is life.

Op here. I am Indian immigrant and grew up UC/UMC while she grew up LC/LMC. She married rich though, so has much more money than me now.

[Anonymous]

Ex AP’s wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL doesn’t like me. It’s mutual now, but I honestly tried to like her and did, for some time. But in my own self interest, I had to go gray rock and set some boundaries, then she decided to attempt to overstep and actually climbed over these boundaries.

She very publicly shouted (more accurately: shrieked) at me and attempted to spell out every recent frustration she’d had with me. Did I mention this was public? After my DC’s youth sports event?

This was over a decade ago, but a defining moment for me: I stopped trying to curry her favor, or to ever be alone with her.

I’m unfailingly polite to her. Never rude. Quiet. I listen and add benign comments (really? oh? Sure! Ok. Awww. Yes.) and answer any questions asked of me.

She also now knows nothing about me-that is-unless DH tells her. I’m kind of a boring robot in front of my MIL and I’ll admit that I have to see her too often and feel anticipatory anxiety.

The funny thing is, I’m a funny, loving, sweet person who’s won accolades for my customer service and sales records. I can talk to anyone!

That’s why she hates you. You’re probably nothing like her and her son’s choosing of you makes her feel like she’s been rejected by him.

This PP and genuinely mean this: thank you. That’s very insightful and something I’d never considered before (nor has my therapist mentioned!). Wow. Oddly reassuring, too. I really think MIL thought (initially) that I was going to be a like a daughter (or maybe a new BFF) to her and that I’d call her Mom. I had my own mom and friends, so never wanted these types of relationships. I also think she had a fantasy of “who” I’d be (more like herself) and was shocked to realize that I’m tougher (and smarter) than I appear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did she not approve of you?

Are you a different race or different SES?

Only 1/3 of people will like you. 1/3 don’t care and 1/3 will hate you. There are a lot of people I just don’t care for. There are all sorts of reasons that turn me off - people who talk about themselves too much tops my list.

I’m sure I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. It is life.

Op here. I am Indian immigrant and grew up UC/UMC while she grew up LC/LMC. She married rich though, so has much more money than me now.

Did she grow up in America?

Sometimes there is a cultural difference.

[Anonymous]

My cousin who is a few weeks older doesn't like me. She and her mother who is married to my mother's younger brother have always made comparisons between us. As long as I am perceived as the lesser of the two, my cousin is fine. When we were kids, she would put her eaten chicken bones on my plate, as one example, and everyone would laugh. I had a hearing loss, which I recovered from, and my family could be a bit "tough love" with me.

It was NOT okay to be weak in my family, even for a tiny deaf girl. LoL.

[Anonymous]

A woman at work. She’s insecure and in-house. I’m a consultant who is expected to impress, work smarter and harder and make everyone look good. Leave the place better.

Instead of flying with me, she got jealous. Of a consultant. It was really weird and a lot of people approached me trying to explain her. Anyway, I kicked ass and then left for my next challenge.

Still see her in the office and it’s kind of fun.