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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL doesn’t like me. It’s mutual now, but I honestly tried to like her and did, for some time. But in my own self interest, I had to go gray rock and set some boundaries, then she decided to attempt to overstep and actually climbed over these boundaries.

She very publicly shouted (more accurately: shrieked) at me and attempted to spell out every recent frustration she’d had with me. Did I mention this was public? After my DC’s youth sports event?

This was over a decade ago, but a defining moment for me: I stopped trying to curry her favor, or to ever be alone with her.

I’m unfailingly polite to her. Never rude. Quiet. I listen and add benign comments (really? oh? Sure! Ok. Awww. Yes.) and answer any questions asked of me.

She also now knows nothing about me-that is-unless DH tells her. I’m kind of a boring robot in front of my MIL and I’ll admit that I have to see her too often and feel anticipatory anxiety.

The funny thing is, I’m a  funny, loving, sweet person who’s won accolades for my customer service and sales records. I can talk to anyone!

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That’s why she hates you. You’re probably nothing like her and her son’s choosing of you makes her feel like she’s been rejected by him. [/quote]

This PP and genuinely mean this: thank you. That’s very insightful and something I’d never considered before (nor has my therapist mentioned!). Wow. Oddly reassuring, too. I really think MIL thought (initially) that I was going to be a like a daughter (or maybe a new BFF) to her and that I’d call her Mom. I had my own mom and friends, so never wanted these types of relationships. I also think she had a fantasy of “who” I’d be (more like herself) and was shocked to realize that I’m tougher (and smarter) than I appear.

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