Should I voice my concerns for my best friend’s (31/M) pending engagement?

[Anonymous]

I think it’s fine to say you agree with his sister, but that’s about as far as you can go. You don’t have any more information than what he himself has already. This is what he wants. It’s his decision to make. I very much doubt your disapproval will make a difference to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. How experienced is he in dating and relationships?

Let’s just say his last girlfriend 2 years ago was also young (20), had a toddler, and he moved them into his apartment within a few months. He got someone pregnant when he was 17 and they got married that year and were married for a few years. There’s other stories but I hope this gives you an idea of his dating experience.

He is a hot mess and I highly doubt anything you say is going to change anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MYOB! He's not a child.

Oh get off your high horse. It’s natural to be concerned about a loved one’s well being especially in this case. If immigration thinks he was part of a setup he could get in serious trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB! He's not a child.

Oh get off your high horse. It’s natural to be concerned about a loved one’s well being especially in this case. If immigration thinks he was part of a setup he could get in serious trouble.

And he's still an adult. A full functional adult with a child of his own. He doesn't need his bestie to save him or mommy him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s just using him.

Why are you/you all so convinced that she’s using him? He very well could be the love of her life.

DCUM is full of racists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he speak her native language?

This is my question. If she doesn't speak english he must speak her language so that they can communicate, right?

Otherwise...how does he know he even likes her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he speak her native language?

This is my question. If she doesn't speak english he must speak her language so that they can communicate, right?

Otherwise...how does he know he even likes her?

Exactly, apparently, he knows enough about her to want to move in with her for them to initially agree to engagement after 1 year of dating, seems like involved conversations are happening somehow. How are they communicating, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB! He's not a child.

Oh get off your high horse. It’s natural to be concerned about a loved one’s well being especially in this case. If immigration thinks he was part of a setup he could get in serious trouble.

And he's still an adult. A full functional adult with a child of his own. He doesn't need his bestie to save him or mommy him.

Where are getting that OP is trying to save him or mommy him? Saying you’re concerned about someone is normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he speak her native language?

This is my question. If she doesn't speak english he must speak her language so that they can communicate, right?

Otherwise...how does he know he even likes her?

Exactly, apparently, he knows enough about her to want to move in with her for them to initially agree to engagement after 1 year of dating, seems like involved conversations are happening somehow. How are they communicating, OP?

He’s a native Spanish speaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he speak her native language?

This is my question. If she doesn't speak english he must speak her language so that they can communicate, right?

Otherwise...how does he know he even likes her?

Exactly, apparently, he knows enough about her to want to move in with her for them to initially agree to engagement after 1 year of dating, seems like involved conversations are happening somehow. How are they communicating, OP?

He doesn’t know this girl at all. They’ve only known each other for 4 months and he has a history of taking in women and their children after a few months according to OP. As another PP said, he has a savior complex and apparently a young woman fetish.

[Anonymous]

He knows what he's getting himself in to and has a history of doing similar things. Let him be. As someone said, maybe this is what he's looking for (SAHM or someone who will be very flexible in their relationship).

[Anonymous]

He's a grown man. Say nothing. Just support him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB! He's not a child.

Oh get off your high horse. It’s natural to be concerned about a loved one’s well being especially in this case. If immigration thinks he was part of a setup he could get in serious trouble.

And he's still an adult. A full functional adult with a child of his own. He doesn't need his bestie to save him or mommy him.

Where are getting that OP is trying to save him or mommy him? Saying you’re concerned about someone is normal.

Concern is normal, but concern doesn't mean you need to involve yourself just because you think your friend is going to make a bad choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he speak her native language?

This is my question. If she doesn't speak english he must speak her language so that they can communicate, right?

Otherwise...how does he know he even likes her?

Exactly, apparently, he knows enough about her to want to move in with her for them to initially agree to engagement after 1 year of dating, seems like involved conversations are happening somehow. How are they communicating, OP?

He doesn’t know this girl at all. They’ve only known each other for 4 months and he has a history of taking in women and their children after a few months according to OP. As another PP said, he has a savior complex and apparently a young woman fetish.

ANd? Seems he has a history here, he knows what he wants,. OP doesn't seem to understand that what she wants her friend to do isn't what he wants to do, isn't what he wants for his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He knows what he's getting himself in to and has a history of doing similar things. Let him be. As someone said, maybe this is what he's looking for (SAHM or someone who will be very flexible in their relationship).

It seems like he’s desperate for marriage. If she’s using him just for a GC he will be devastated so I don’t think he know what he’s getting himself into. He could very well think she just so in love that she wants to be married and get a GC.