Parenting on the Weekends (Young Kids)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a full time (no shared custody) single parent to an 18 month old and feel like we have pretty nice weekends.

In terms of time to myself, I get a 2 hour naptime each day and evenings alone starting at 7:15 PM.

But here's what makes it manageable, which may help you figure out exactly what your needs are beyond a length of time to hire a sitter:
1. I don't do any housework during naptime. That 2 hours is sacred alone time. And in the evenings I limit household tasks to 7:15 - 8:15 PM - after that, it's my time.
2. We get out of the house a lot. My toddler is much easier to manage out and about than she is cooped up at home. But we don't do any outings that don't have at least one thing that is fun for me too.
3. We do a lot socially on the weekends with friends. I find the being with a toddler on the weekend gets really hard without time with other adults you enjoy.
4. My downtime from parenting is alone time - unless I choose to go out with friends at night.

If there is one thing I could change, it would be someone to cover the morning wakeup one day a week. That's the hardest on me.

If I were you, I would want DH to take Saturday morning wakeup (because no sitter will do that), use screen time for preschooler during Saturday nap time and then hire a sitter for 3 hours on Sunday afternoons so you can be totally alone. But I would also focus on working in fun family outings you enjoy too and finding ways to see friends as part of kid time.

Thank you! This is fantastic advice.

+1 This is such a good rundown, couldn't have put it better. You sound like a great mom.

[Anonymous]

My husband pulls his weight and then some. We seldom feel pressed for time on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

When my son was that young, I worked FT, and my weekends were pretty much devoted to DS. But I am older and used TV and toys a lot more to keep him entertained.

So up at 6:30-7, milk, breakfast

7-8 : Toys, TV

8-8:30: walk to park

8:30-10:30 park, snack

11 a.m. home, toy time, music

11:30 lunch

12: naptime or hang out in bedroom time

1:30-4 or 5: pool, museum, shopping, etc. out of the house.

6 p.m. me prep dinner, them TV and toys.

6:30 or 7 dinner

then bath/story time and bed.

8 to 11- adult time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm 0. I think putting a movie on for the 4yo while toddler naps is fine. You have a bit of a break even though you are still mentally on. I tho knots strange that your goal is just them not getting injured, you need to be proactive not reactive. We usually go out in the mornings. Hike, playground with friends, bikes and scooters, nap/quiet time after lunch, I can get some house stuff done then if needed. Then sometimes we go back out after nap, or do play doh, sandbox, water play, building blocks. What is your DH doing on the weekends. Assuming he’s not working you could trade off a Sat or Sun morning every other weekend.

Yep, we have good structure on the weekends, but it's still a lot trying to watch two kids of different levels at a busy playground on a Saturday (for example). Maybe I'm just low energy compared to other people and need more down time?

How old are you? Are you able to get any of your own exercise? Sleeping enough yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm 0. I think putting a movie on for the 4yo while toddler naps is fine. You have a bit of a break even though you are still mentally on. I tho knots strange that your goal is just them not getting injured, you need to be proactive not reactive. We usually go out in the mornings. Hike, playground with friends, bikes and scooters, nap/quiet time after lunch, I can get some house stuff done then if needed. Then sometimes we go back out after nap, or do play doh, sandbox, water play, building blocks. What is your DH doing on the weekends. Assuming he’s not working you could trade off a Sat or Sun morning every other weekend.

Yep, we have good structure on the weekends, but it's still a lot trying to watch two kids of different levels at a busy playground on a Saturday (for example). Maybe I'm just low energy compared to other people and need more down time?

How old are you? Are you able to get any of your own exercise? Sleeping enough yourself?

Late 30's, definitely not getting enough exercise other than walking/playing with the kids and my sleep is awful. Again, this is part of the reason why I need a break on the weekend since having time to exercise without having to wake up at 5 am will help with so many other parts of my life.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I each carve out some time on the weekend, but it's usually to exercise or see a friend vs just chilling, so I don't feel like I get any real down time until they go to sleep. I think that's normal. We do do more tv/movie time on the weekend which helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm 0. I think putting a movie on for the 4yo while toddler naps is fine. You have a bit of a break even though you are still mentally on. I tho knots strange that your goal is just them not getting injured, you need to be proactive not reactive. We usually go out in the mornings. Hike, playground with friends, bikes and scooters, nap/quiet time after lunch, I can get some house stuff done then if needed. Then sometimes we go back out after nap, or do play doh, sandbox, water play, building blocks. What is your DH doing on the weekends. Assuming he’s not working you could trade off a Sat or Sun morning every other weekend.

Yep, we have good structure on the weekends, but it's still a lot trying to watch two kids of different levels at a busy playground on a Saturday (for example). Maybe I'm just low energy compared to other people and need more down time?

How old are you? Are you able to get any of your own exercise? Sleeping enough yourself?

Late 30's, definitely not getting enough exercise other than walking/playing with the kids and my sleep is awful. Again, this is part of the reason why I need a break on the weekend since having time to exercise without having to wake up at 5 am will help with so many other parts of my life.

OP I know you said you don’t want to include the husband issue, but seriously. THIS.IS.THE.ISSUE.

Also your kids get up at 6:40/7am. Why are you up at 5am?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, my DH and i split up the work very evenly but I Still DREADED the weekends when the kids were hyperactive non-napping toddlers. It was horrible, and I love them so! I am a super introvert who, before kids and marriage, would be perfectly happy to do ONE activity per weekend day and be fulfilled, with the rest downtime. So I guess I was SOL when I got my wonderful spirited daredevil kids. Upshot is now they are in elem school and much more able to entertain themselves (and each other) and less likely to hurt themselves. Bike riding with them still keeps me on high anxiety alert, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My question is, how much time do you expect to have for yourself on the weekends so that you feel somewhat refreshed by Sunday night rather than absolutely depleted?

Well, I only have 1 kid (5), but I’m an introvert and he’s a raging extrovert so I never get to Monday without feeling relief that it’s time for school.

DH and I both WAH, and kid is home more now in K than he was in preschool + not getting out much bc of COVID.

I NEED at least 3 hours every weekend where I can be alone in my house. That plus:

*DS is old enough to entertain himself while I rest / nap for an hour or two. I turn on a movie and zone out.
*DH and I switch off waking up / sleeping in.
*We’ll trade off who takes kid out for activities.

And believe it or not, with an only, I can get a break by inviting other kids over to keep my kid busy. I don’t mind hosting play dates where the parents stay, but I LOVE when my kid & I get to know friends well enough that we can take turns dropping off and getting down time.

We don’t have family super close and almost never get a babysitter, but maybe once a quarter or so, kid will do a sleepover at Grandpa’s. That’s a golden 24 hours. Hoping it turns into a week every summer soon.

[Anonymous]

You already get an hour and have a week nanny? What the f more do you want, I don’t get any of that. Be grateful for your hour, parent your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You already get an hour and have a week nanny? What the f more do you want, I don’t get any of that. Be grateful for your hour, parent your kids.

GTFOH.

[Anonymous]

I work during the week and so does my DH. We look forward to the weekends to spend time together as a family. It’s pretty rare for either of us to have any alone time on the weekends. Maybe once a month we will go out separately with friends for something and once or twice a month we will have a date night.

Does your husband take off on the weekends or something? Do you not spend weekends together? If you are a SAHM, you do deserve a break. Look into Mother’s Day out programs.

[Anonymous]

None, op, none. Your dh is an issue, but otherwise none.
Plus, on the weekends? You do understand that many people take care of their kids the whole week as well?
The concept of me-time is western and has no place in most cultures in the world.
That doesn't mean that many people do not have time to themselves, but that is not a luxury most people can afford.

[Anonymous]

What is the weekend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the weekend?

Lol. Ironically, those aristocrats had nothing to do, yet rarely interacted with their kids!