9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it

[Anonymous]

My son plays a different travel sport, but I agree that a lot of it was a waste of my time, money and life energy. I do regret a lot of the outlay in money & family time for 1 kid. Other kid is playing a less competitive team that's cheaper & local.

[Anonymous]

DS here just abruptly announced he's done with soccer after this senior season of club soccer. He's got D2/D3 interest and a standing developmental offer at a small club overseas. As of less than a month ago he was actually considering finishing HS online to take advantage of that developmental offer, that's how serious he was with soccer. He's played since he was 5, been serious about "playing after HS" since age 10...

Like OP, this journey has been one heck of an investment in time, energy, sweat, tears, blood, broken bones, money... This abrupt ending is far tougher on me as a parent than him. He's relieved. The pressure to be perfect, to make the next bigger team is GONE. Coincidentally he's playing great for the club team now.

Like others here have said - Focus on all the good memories from the journey. Focus on the life lessons we learned. Heck, he's chosen to stick with the team this season no matter what, even though it's a "dead end" now.



OP I will have to say, you ending your son's soccer journey for him is not cool... Let him decide. Find a way to make it work next year if he still wants to play that last season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My story is very similar to OP but zero regrets.

I'd rather have my kids playing sports (which they still love) learning discipline, commitment, being active and around other kids that love the sport, than all day at home doing nothing.

OP here, I have seen a few of these kinds of posts. Why is it one or the other? If my DC isn't playing travel sports than were all at home watching TV orefeing food? The same parent in me that saw travel soccer as a good option for my DC to play sports, remain active, make a few friends outside of school, and have some activities outside of school wouldn't be the same parent that then decides it's OK to just stay home.

My point is after almost a decade, it hasn't worked out in the way I thought it would. The experience hasn't been great, but it hasn't been hell either. I am looking back at my experience so far and also thinking about my other two children to best decide what route to take now. I don't think currently that travel soccer has been a great experience, and it certainly isn't the only option when it comes to keeping your child active.

A change in perspective on my end may also help, like a PP said, perhaps I had too high expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No regrets. We set expectations, DC wasn't gunning for college soccer. We rather they focus on academics and graduate timely.
DC is happy and developing on team B. We never paid for extra lessons.

DC still loves soccer and also refs. It's been a really good run, great childhood memories.

Hmmm ... my nephew will graduate from Johns Hopkins next spring and plays soccer on their team (D3). But I guess because he does play soccer in college he is not at all focused on academics. Yeah, a kid who goes to Hopkins is not invested in academics at all /s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS here just abruptly announced he's done with soccer after this senior season of club soccer. He's got D2/D3 interest and a standing developmental offer at a small club overseas. As of less than a month ago he was actually considering finishing HS online to take advantage of that developmental offer, that's how serious he was with soccer. He's played since he was 5, been serious about "playing after HS" since age 10...

Like OP, this journey has been one heck of an investment in time, energy, sweat, tears, blood, broken bones, money... This abrupt ending is far tougher on me as a parent than him. He's relieved. The pressure to be perfect, to make the next bigger team is GONE. Coincidentally he's playing great for the club team now.

Like others here have said - Focus on all the good memories from the journey. Focus on the life lessons we learned. Heck, he's chosen to stick with the team this season no matter what, even though it's a "dead end" now.



OP I will have to say, you ending your son's soccer journey for him is not cool... Let him decide. Find a way to make it work next year if he still wants to play that last season.

OP here

I think the question now is, if you had another child, would you do it again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No regrets. We set expectations, DC wasn't gunning for college soccer. We rather they focus on academics and graduate timely.
DC is happy and developing on team B. We never paid for extra lessons.

DC still loves soccer and also refs. It's been a really good run, great childhood memories.

Hmmm ... my nephew will graduate from Johns Hopkins next spring and plays soccer on their team (D3). But I guess because he does play soccer in college he is not at all focused on academics. Yeah, a kid who goes to Hopkins is not invested in academics at all /s

My husband was an athlete at Hopkins too. So many doctors from his team .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS here just abruptly announced he's done with soccer after this senior season of club soccer. He's got D2/D3 interest and a standing developmental offer at a small club overseas. As of less than a month ago he was actually considering finishing HS online to take advantage of that developmental offer, that's how serious he was with soccer. He's played since he was 5, been serious about "playing after HS" since age 10...

Like OP, this journey has been one heck of an investment in time, energy, sweat, tears, blood, broken bones, money... This abrupt ending is far tougher on me as a parent than him. He's relieved. The pressure to be perfect, to make the next bigger team is GONE. Coincidentally he's playing great for the club team now.

Like others here have said - Focus on all the good memories from the journey. Focus on the life lessons we learned. Heck, he's chosen to stick with the team this season no matter what, even though it's a "dead end" now.



OP I will have to say, you ending your son's soccer journey for him is not cool... Let him decide. Find a way to make it work next year if he still wants to play that last season.

OP here

I think the question now is, if you had another child, would you do it again?

That is indeed an entirely different question. It depends on the kid, right? I would NEVER push a kid to do travel sports. It's a lot of time and energy for everyone, and it should be because the kid loves it and wants to play more and more. I see it as supporting my kid in following their passions and interests. Just like I'd never say "I won't let my younger kids do community theater - too many late night rehearsals." Well, if my kid was a passionate actor we'd make it work, just like we make travel sports work. Let your kid follow their bliss. Don't press them to spend more time than they want to on things you think they "should" for a college resume.

[Anonymous]

I look at high school athletics from the perspective that it keeps them BUSY. No time for playing endless video games or getting into trouble. Often, a busy athlete is a better student because they learn to organize their academic life. Bonus: they stay in shape too. Think positive OP.

[Anonymous]

I’m having trouble understanding why it’s so difficult balancing activities for multiple kids, if money is not the issue. We have three kids who have all played travel soccer and two of them have done a second travel sport as well. Between the two of us and teammate carpools, we’ve never had serious problems juggling their activities. Just takes a good calendar.

Also, won’t a junior be able to drive himself to practices and games? It seems so strange to me that you would decide he needs to quit now when he is finally on a good team and can drive.

Like others, we don’t regret any of our soccer time and expenditures. If the kid enjoys it, we are there for them. Would be a different matter if we had to worry about the costs.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you were looking for something different than what has panned out. My kids have done travel sports since they were old enough to play, and I don’t regret any of it. I just wanted to see them being healthy, staying out of trouble, and giving it their best effort. I look at the money and time spent as an investment in that worldview.

[Anonymous]

For deciding for my child, I think at this point I still have that authority. What will happen is my DD will now not have to choose her ballet or softball and other activities around her older brothers soccer practice schedule. We said no to her this year because the activities she wanted were exactly on the days my oldest practiced. Can't split myself in two so she joined rec soccer on the days my oldest practiced. Not a terrible outcome, but it wasn't what she wanted. My youngest is 5 yo and is glad to be out and spending time with other kids, so he is fine for now.

This reason doesn't make sense if your soccer player will be a high school junior. Can't he take public transportation to practice (e.g., a public bus) or get a ride from a friend's family? You don't have to do it if you don't want to, but by the time your child is a high school junior, he should be able to work out some of the transportation issues himeself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son plays a different travel sport, but I agree that a lot of it was a waste of my time, money and life energy. I do regret a lot of the outlay in money & family time for 1 kid. Other kid is playing a less competitive team that's cheaper & local.

Other than the expense I can never relate to watching my kids play in any activity as a waste of my time. They ARE my time.

[Anonymous]

y point is after almost a decade, it hasn't worked out in the way I thought it would. The experience hasn't been great, but it hasn't been hell either. I am looking back at my experience so far and also thinking about my other two children to best decide what route to take now

You are thinking about this the wrong way. It isn't "your" experience. It is your kid's experience. At most, you should be dropping him off and picking him up sometimes as part of a carpool, and attending games only as you feel like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son plays a different travel sport, but I agree that a lot of it was a waste of my time, money and life energy. I do regret a lot of the outlay in money & family time for 1 kid. Other kid is playing a less competitive team that's cheaper & local.

Other than the expense I can never relate to watching my kids play in any activity as a waste of my time. They ARE my time.

Watching any sport practice is boring as hell.

[Anonymous]

I think parents often underestimate what playing competitive sports does for an individual's development. I would think that many of those gifts are priceless. The end goal shouldn't be college ball, but rather a strong body and mind.
-former D1 player