Would you allow your 14 y.o. daughter to ride Metro Bus alone?

[Anonymous]

My DD will be starting HS next year. Because she may attend a school other than her base school (we live in Fairfac County), there will be no free school transportation. We are fortunate to live within a 10 minute walk of 3-4 metro bus lines that would run by her alternate school. Would you allow your 14 year old daughter to start tsking public transit by herself? I know people in NYC do it all the time, and in Japan you see kindergartner s alone on the subway.

This would also start to build her own self reliance, not having to rely on Mom znd Dad to get around all the time.

[Anonymous]

I took the bus for years starting at 14 and was harassed on a near-daily basis. There was always some creepy asshole whispering something disgusting or kids from another school poking me or a reeking, overly friendly drunk expanding across the seat.

Apparently it's hugely provocative to read or do homework if you're a young woman alone.

She's got a phone, right? Encourage her to sit up front near the driver if she feels uncomfortable. And have a frank discussion about street harassment - what it is, what it feels like, why it happens. If girls don't clearly recognize that it is NOT personal, that it's a time-honored way to police and punish independent women by keeping them from feeling safe in public, they may feel embarrassed and ashamed.

You could always ride the route with her at the relevant times (several rows away) and see what's up.

[Anonymous]

Yes! My 11year old son takes the metro bus in DC alone. He even makes a transfer before getting to school.

Go over what to do, where to sit, who to ask for help, etc.

[Anonymous]

Yes I would, but I'd be more comfortable if my child rode with a friend.

[Anonymous]

Jesus, of course. She's 14, not 4.

[Anonymous]

Yup. But I agree with talking about street harassment.

[Anonymous]

Totally. It will be good for her. But yes, she'll have to deal with creeps, so you'll need to train her for how to deal with that. I was always so worried about being respectful and nice to adults that I put up with way too much from creepy men in public. But nobody ever taught me how to handle those situations. It's a great lesson and the earlier learned, the better.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. Trusting kids is important at this age- it shows them that you're ready to trust them to make important decisions.

I've found that the people on the city buses are friendlier than the people on the metro. Every time I would get on a bus with my baby in tow, people would go out of their way to help me with the stroller, and then move so that I could have a seat. One time I was on the bus and THREE people helped a young mother with three kids. One even held the hand of her toddler while she lugged a baby up the steps and some other person collapsed her stroller and carried it up.

[Anonymous]

How does she feel about it? She may or may not feel ready just yet.

[Anonymous]

Riding the bus doesn't stand out as the biggest problem bit the logistics do.

Is the walk to the stop 10 minutes for you - or her? Have her do the walk without you and actually clock it.

Then what time do the buses run? What time does she have to get up to get the bus and what time she has to catch one in the evening? Will the morning bus have her standing in the dark in the mornings and if so is the bus stop in an ok location for that?

What about weather? Walking to the bus stop in driving rain? Does the stop have a weather shelter? In snow? In extreme heat? Will she want to do it? Do you leave before her ? If so, could she just bail on going to school bc she didn't want to walk and wait at the stop.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

Like other posters suggested, I would have a talk with her beforehand.

[Anonymous]

I started taking the bus when I was in 7th grade. Other than the first day, when I accidentally ot on the wrong bus, I never had any problems. Do a dry run with her, but this is an important step toward indeendence.

[Anonymous]

Depends how frequently the busses run. I think taking the bus in the suburbs is largely inconvenient.

[Anonymous]

This is VERY common in DC at younger ages. Many children take the metro bus to middle school (starting in 5th grade) as there are no school buses and zones for middle school are quite large.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Riding the bus doesn't stand out as the biggest problem bit the logistics do.

Is the walk to the stop 10 minutes for you - or her? Have her do the walk without you and actually clock it.

Then what time do the buses run? What time does she have to get up to get the bus and what time she has to catch one in the evening? Will the morning bus have her standing in the dark in the mornings and if so is the bus stop in an ok location for that?

What about weather? Walking to the bus stop in driving rain? Does the stop have a weather shelter? In snow? In extreme heat? Will she want to do it? Do you leave before her ? If so, could she just bail on going to school bc she didn't want to walk and wait at the stop.

If your kids take the school bus, you'd have these exact same issues unless you plan on walking or driving them to the bus, which would be ridiculous for a high schooler.

To answer OP, yes, I'd let my 14 year old take the bus. Like others said, just do a dry run and make sure she knows how to handle herself on the bus.