what to do if you think a kid at school may not be getting enough to eat
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Anonymous
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There is a girl in my kid's kindergarten class who constantly asks me for food after school on the playground. Recently, when another parent said she was leaving the playground to go home and eat dinner, the girl's younger sister asked if she could come home with them. The girl gets free breakfast and lunch at school. The mother is employed, but seems overwhelmed. I don't know if the kids are truly hungry in the not-enough-food-at-home kind of way or if they just want snacks. The girl is well dressed, but that doesn't mean anything. Is this something that I should mention to the teacher? My goal is not to get the family in trouble, but if they do need something I wonder if there is anything that I or the school can do.
(If the answer to this question is MYOB, I can accept that, but please understand that I am asking not as a busy-body but as someone who is trying to figure out what the morally responsible thing to do is here.) |
Anonymous
| You can definitely mention it to the teacher, but I'd back away after that point. It is hard to say in these situations. It may be that she is not getting enough to eat, but my son is always telling my mom that he is hungry and I don't feed him enough, des[ite the fact that we have tons of food available and offer it to him often. |
Anonymous
| Of course you should talk to the teacher or more appropriately the school social worker as they will have more experience in how to broach the subject. The social worker has an obligation to check it out, and you will feel comfortable knowing that you did what you could without having to get further involved. It might be nothing but better to be safe than sorry. |
Anonymous
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After school, almost all kids are hungry for a snack.
And I have had kids ask me for snacks and say they are hungry at my child's private school K. |
Anonymous
| I'd mention it to the teacher or school social worker, and I'd bring a few extra snacks to share. |
Anonymous
| Yes, mention it to the teacher and/or school social worker. If it were me, the way I'd likely broach it is that these girls ask me for snacks consistently, and I don't mind sharing (so please don't scold them for this), but I would like to make sure their parents are OK with me sharing (for fear of allergies or diet restrictions). And then as a sidebar I'd say that I also can't help to wonder if the girls are getting enough to eat generally. So perhaps the teacher could address this with the parents? And yes, continue to bring extra snacks. |
Anonymous
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I dont think that's enough to ping my radar. Unless there is more you havent shared. My own 2nd grader is "starving" after school every single day. Like as soon as he sees me he has a meltdown if I dont have snack in hand for him. I dont know if he would be bold enough to ask another parent for snacks but he would certainly ask another kid. But as a Kindergartner I think he had less filter and certainly would've asked for food and even dinner from another parent.
I'm curious, how do you know the kid gets free lunch? If your close enough that the mother has shared that why not mention to her that her little one is constantly asking you for food. Or better yet, is the mother there after school? If so just tell the little girl to go ask her mother for a snack. |
Anonymous
Depending on the situation, don't do that. Maybe the child is reaching out to you. Maybe the child is just a regular kid. Without more information - we don't know. |
Anonymous
| Really? Ive never hesitated to tell kids to go ask their mom for a snack when they have asked me. First, unless we have permission we shouldn't be feeding anyone else's kids. Who knows what kind of food allergies could be present. I guess I just dont see that as reaching out for help. To me that's a pretty typical age appropriate thing for a K kid to do. Of course if there is more to it than just the kid asking for food I might feel different. |
Anonymous
| If you have noticed, I'm sure the teacher has noticed. Leave it alone. |
Anonymous
There is a BIG difference between "always asking for snacks" and "asking if I can go home with you for dinner". In the end, it may turn out there isn't really an issue... but as many times as I've heard kids want each other's snacks, I have rarely ever heard a child want to go home with another family for dinner like that. That may well mean there is something going on. Ditto the suggestions to talk to the school social worker. And if that's the extent that feels appropriate to you, then it's great if you do that and that's it. Me, I actually believe in engaging parents themselves. You said the mom seems overwhelmed - have you ever struck up a conversation with her? Does she live anywhere near you? Do you know her kids at all, i.e. does your kid play with either of hers? I believe in striking up a conversation, and depending on how close they live or whether my kids get along with theirs, I have offered to have playdates on weekends at a common playground and I bring lunch; I've made snacks and brought enough for several kids (but made sure the kids who always seem hungry get them first)(I always ask their parent if they can eat whatever it is first, and once I get a yes, maybe bring that thing fairly often), etc etc. For me that's also the moral thing to do, but I get that most people stop at the social worker, and that works too. I think you're awesome for even noticing and being concerned in the first place! |
Anonymous
I never understand thinking like this. Kids can't advocate for themselves. Why leave anything to "I'm sure someone else has noticed it" when it comes to kids? OP I'm glad you noticed, I'm glad you care, and I'm glad you want to do something. Whatever you do, it's better than nothing, or assuming someone else has noticed and is acting on it. |
Anonymous
| Didn't you already post this question in general parenting? This message certainly has taken on a different tone than your other one. |
Anonymous
| A child can have a healthy appetite too. |
Anonymous
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Bring extra snacks and if the mother is present, ask the mother if her daughter can have a snack with your child and hold up the snack so that she can see what it is.
If the mother is not present, then consult with the school counselor/social worker. If there isn't one, report it to the principal or vice principal. |