TO THE MOM WHO RED SHIRTED HER SON AND COMPLAINS HE'S NOT CHALLENGED

[Anonymous]

Please don't ask either of these above questions until I am standing there with popcorn

I would love to hear her reasons, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so why don't we all start kindergarten at 7 to prevent ADHD. Wait, people would start at 8 then. It amazes me how we all started K as 4yr olds and even survived. Whew!

All those stupid studies show is that ADHD is prematurely and completely over diagnosed. Kids even 12 months apart at age 5 have enormous different maturity and social skills. That is completely normal. But it is the PARENTS that can not deal if Larla is a little fidgety than others. Let's medicate her or hold her back. THAT is the plan? You can't even properly diagnose ADHD until age 8 or higher.

Kids in a non-poverty family involved household all tend to even out by 3rd grade. Socially and academically. Stunted your kids a full year for the rest of their lives does nothing for them except that everyone knows you are the red-shirted kid.

And the neurotic parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again- Red shirting spring birthdays in our area is becoming increasingly common- or at least it seems to me.
The mom that caused me to write the OP is "looking" now at gifted programs for her son because our school isn't challenging him. She's very quick to point out that her son has a genius IQ.

Could you imagine the poor teachers who have to deal with this obnoxious person? Red-shirting parents are the worst combo of helicoptering and tiger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It actually is very tough. Our kid was socially immature with an August bday so we held him back. but yeah, kindergarten is not very academically challenging for him. I wouldn't complain about it to other parents though.

What exactly does socially immature mean? Can you give an example?

Not PP, but my socially immature child at 5 had difficulty regulating his emotions and still threw tantrums. (Sometimes daily) He never hit, but the fits were epic. He had difficulty following directions. He had difficulty sharing and engaging in group play. He had difficulty sitting in a seat.

But, and I am truly not trying to be argumentative here, absent a diagnosis isnt lot of that just personality? In a class of three-year-olds, some will follow directions well and play well in groups. Some will not. Some kids are more emotional than others. A teacher is used to the spectrum of kids who are all the same age yet different personalities.

No, teachers actually are not used to a spectrum of kids. In our experience, even public preschool teachers can be anxious about testing etc already and they will tag a misbehaving 3 year old as a problem or even try to force a diagnosis that does not exist. The inability of preschool and kindergarten teachers to adjust to a spectrum of kids is actually one of the big reasons to redshirt these days. I'm not entirely blaming the teachers, because I know that in part they are reacting to a rigid, test-focused environment that they did not create.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep. April was the oldest in my sons class. Plus, I personally know of other kids in different grades who are April/May. My friend- her son was *tiny tiny* with some speech problems- was an April/May too and she held him back. Although I could honestly see it in her situation.

How big of you to give your stamp of approval to the redshirting that you approve of

[Anonymous]

We are in FCPS and do not see much of a problem. My DD has 1 kid in her class of 27. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so why don't we all start kindergarten at 7 to prevent ADHD. Wait, people would start at 8 then. It amazes me how we all started K as 4yr olds and even survived. Whew!

All those stupid studies show is that ADHD is prematurely and completely over diagnosed. Kids even 12 months apart at age 5 have enormous different maturity and social skills. That is completely normal. But it is the PARENTS that can not deal if Larla is a little fidgety than others. Let's medicate her or hold her back. THAT is the plan? You can't even properly diagnose ADHD until age 8 or higher.

Kids in a non-poverty family involved household all tend to even out by 3rd grade. Socially and academically. Stunted your kids a full year for the rest of their lives does nothing for them except that everyone knows you are the red-shirted kid.

Sure, tell that to the school that called/emailed/sent notes home almost daily about my socially immature kid. Trust me, it was not ME who couldn't deal with my kid - it was the school. I can guarantee you that schools are at least 50%, if not more, to blame in redshirting and ADHD diagnoses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again- Red shirting spring birthdays in our area is becoming increasingly common- or at least it seems to me.
The mom that caused me to write the OP is "looking" now at gifted programs for her son because our school isn't challenging him. She's very quick to point out that her son has a genius IQ.

Could you imagine the poor teachers who have to deal with this obnoxious person? Red-shirting parents are the worst combo of helicoptering and tiger.

You know what's obnoxious? Judging and imaging that you know what's going on with this kid and this family. You don't like the mom and how she talks, I get it. You're inordinately threatened by a kid who has a higher IQ than your kid and might outperform them on tests, I get it. What you are NOT seeing is the concerns about focus, social-emotional skills, developmental issues perhaps due to prematurity, that can all lead to redshirting even when the child has excellent cognitive skills. Often times developmental issues are almost defined by radical uneveness in skill developments -- like advanced language and cognition, but very delayed motor skills and poor impulse control. Is redshirting the right solution for these kinds of kids in the long term? I don't pretend to know. But I can hardly blame parents for redshirting at a young age, when success in the classroom is so heavily defined these days by social skills, behavioral control, and fine-motor skills, as opposed to pure cognitive and language skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again- Red shirting spring birthdays in our area is becoming increasingly common- or at least it seems to me.
The mom that caused me to write the OP is "looking" now at gifted programs for her son because our school isn't challenging him. She's very quick to point out that her son has a genius IQ.

I have an idea for you. Why don't you stop pretending to be this woman's friend and show your true, gossipy, jealous colors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so why don't we all start kindergarten at 7 to prevent ADHD. Wait, people would start at 8 then. It amazes me how we all started K as 4yr olds and even survived. Whew!

All those stupid studies show is that ADHD is prematurely and completely over diagnosed. Kids even 12 months apart at age 5 have enormous different maturity and social skills. That is completely normal. But it is the PARENTS that can not deal if Larla is a little fidgety than others. Let's medicate her or hold her back. THAT is the plan? You can't even properly diagnose ADHD until age 8 or higher.

Kids in a non-poverty family involved household all tend to even out by 3rd grade. Socially and academically. Stunted your kids a full year for the rest of their lives does nothing for them except that everyone knows you are the red-shirted kid.

Sure, tell that to the school that called/emailed/sent notes home almost daily about my socially immature kid. Trust me, it was not ME who couldn't deal with my kid - it was the school. I can guarantee you that schools are at least 50%, if not more, to blame in redshirting and ADHD diagnoses.

Schools don't redshirt. Parents do before school starts.

Many kids the first 5 months of school get many notes home about behavior. THAT is a part of learning about school. If there is any discipline these days, a note goes home. It is not that big of a deal as long as you and the teacher on the same page. What did you do as a parent to help the situation? Did you have meetings? Did you observe the classroom setting? Did you volunteer? Did you put a positive rewards chart up for your child at home for better behavior in school. Did you go over their behaviors at home to see what the child though? If you had an issue with the teacher did you have a meeting with the principal? Did you ask the principal to observe the classroom setting after you did?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so why don't we all start kindergarten at 7 to prevent ADHD. Wait, people would start at 8 then. It amazes me how we all started K as 4yr olds and even survived. Whew!

All those stupid studies show is that ADHD is prematurely and completely over diagnosed. Kids even 12 months apart at age 5 have enormous different maturity and social skills. That is completely normal. But it is the PARENTS that can not deal if Larla is a little fidgety than others. Let's medicate her or hold her back. THAT is the plan? You can't even properly diagnose ADHD until age 8 or higher.

Kids in a non-poverty family involved household all tend to even out by 3rd grade. Socially and academically. Stunted your kids a full year for the rest of their lives does nothing for them except that everyone knows you are the red-shirted kid.

Sure, tell that to the school that called/emailed/sent notes home almost daily about my socially immature kid. Trust me, it was not ME who couldn't deal with my kid - it was the school. I can guarantee you that schools are at least 50%, if not more, to blame in redshirting and ADHD diagnoses.

Schools don't redshirt. Parents do before school starts.

Many kids the first 5 months of school get many notes home about behavior. THAT is a part of learning about school. If there is any discipline these days, a note goes home. It is not that big of a deal as long as you and the teacher on the same page. What did you do as a parent to help the situation? Did you have meetings? Did you observe the classroom setting? Did you volunteer? Did you put a positive rewards chart up for your child at home for better behavior in school. Did you go over their behaviors at home to see what the child though? If you had an issue with the teacher did you have a meeting with the principal? Did you ask the principal to observe the classroom setting after you did?

Different poster. My 5 year old, non-redshirted, socially immature boy also got notes sent home almost daily, and I did do many of those things you asked. Things are improving, and he now gets the occasional note home about behavior instead of many notes, which I am taking to be a good sign. I also don't really have a feel for how out-of-line all of this is, since he's our only child. Is it true that many kids have many notes sent home? If so, that's a huge relief that our DS is not the absolutely worst behaved child in kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Here is a great article that smashes all these ADHD issues and rationalizations of red-shirting.


http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/youngest-kid-smartest-kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so why don't we all start kindergarten at 7 to prevent ADHD. Wait, people would start at 8 then. It amazes me how we all started K as 4yr olds and even survived. Whew!

All those stupid studies show is that ADHD is prematurely and completely over diagnosed. Kids even 12 months apart at age 5 have enormous different maturity and social skills. That is completely normal. But it is the PARENTS that can not deal if Larla is a little fidgety than others. Let's medicate her or hold her back. THAT is the plan? You can't even properly diagnose ADHD until age 8 or higher.

Kids in a non-poverty family involved household all tend to even out by 3rd grade. Socially and academically. Stunted your kids a full year for the rest of their lives does nothing for them except that everyone knows you are the red-shirted kid.

Sure, tell that to the school that called/emailed/sent notes home almost daily about my socially immature kid. Trust me, it was not ME who couldn't deal with my kid - it was the school. I can guarantee you that schools are at least 50%, if not more, to blame in redshirting and ADHD diagnoses.

Schools don't redshirt. Parents do before school starts.

Many kids the first 5 months of school get many notes home about behavior. THAT is a part of learning about school. If there is any discipline these days, a note goes home. It is not that big of a deal as long as you and the teacher on the same page. What did you do as a parent to help the situation? Did you have meetings? Did you observe the classroom setting? Did you volunteer? Did you put a positive rewards chart up for your child at home for better behavior in school. Did you go over their behaviors at home to see what the child though? If you had an issue with the teacher did you have a meeting with the principal? Did you ask the principal to observe the classroom setting after you did?

Your ignorance is showing again. Many areas have public PK now, and kids at risk/or with diagnoses will already be in the system and receiving services. It's not a decision made in a vacuum by parents alone.

Thanks for your oh-so-helpful ideas, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is a great article that smashes all these ADHD issues and rationalizations of red-shirting.


http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/youngest-kid-smartest-kid

Well, the article also says "younger students benefit from having older peers" so not sure why everyone is freaking out.

[Anonymous]

This article is great too. It says that red-shirting can be as low as 4.5% in some areas but as high as 20% in white affluent areas.

https://www.noodle.com/articles/new-data-suggest-redshirting-in-kindergarten-doesnt-help138