HS Party with Alcohol... Death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had a "dry" graduation party for my son. (He was not a cool kid). It was during the day on a Saturday. Only one parent called me to ask if there would be alcohol there.
Just because the kids are going to sneak and do stuff anyway doesn't mean we shouldn't try and have no-alcohol events.
I'm not willing to throw in the towel and just see what happens.

You're my idea of a good parent.

+1

Good for you PP. And, good for that other parent for calling to ask!

You do realize most of the parties with drugs and alcohol ... The parents did not supply it, it is hidden from the parents. It's not until somebody throws up that the parents realize there is a breach in security.

I hope you then told everyone to call their parents to be taken home. Did you? Or did they drive themselves, not know for sure if they had "too much" to drink?

*knowing

Except 1/2 the party went home, before you realize it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My son is too young to understand this, but my daughter, who's 11, isn't. I told her that unless I know and LIKE the parents/guardians of her friends, there is not deep friendship developing.
Get back to us about this rule when your DD is 14.

Or even middle school, unless the PP's daughter goes to a small private middle school where everybody knows everybody.

[Anonymous]

I do think you should know the parents before you allow your child over at someone's house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had a "dry" graduation party for my son. (He was not a cool kid). It was during the day on a Saturday. Only one parent called me to ask if there would be alcohol there.
Just because the kids are going to sneak and do stuff anyway doesn't mean we shouldn't try and have no-alcohol events.
I'm not willing to throw in the towel and just see what happens.

You're my idea of a good parent.

+1

Good for you PP. And, good for that other parent for calling to ask!

You do realize most of the parties with drugs and alcohol ... The parents did not supply it, it is hidden from the parents. It's not until somebody throws up that the parents realize there is a breach in security.

I hope you then told everyone to call their parents to be taken home. Did you? Or did they drive themselves, not know for sure if they had "too much" to drink?

*knowing

Except 1/2 the party went home, before you realize it.

Nobody should be hosting parties so big they don't know who's there. Nobody should be letting their kids hang out with "zero" supervision. If all this is happening, then parents are tacitly condoning it all. There's no way to hide heavy alcohol use unless the parents are drunk or stoned themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do think you should know the parents before you allow your child over at someone's house.

How old is your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do think you should know the parents before you allow your child over at someone's house.

Agree, but also very difficult in this area when sometimes the parents don't speak English

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think you should know the parents before you allow your child over at someone's house.

How old is your child?

Probably older than yours. Some of us learn a few things the hard way. Must you too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think you should know the parents before you allow your child over at someone's house.

How old is your child?

Probably older than yours. Some of us learn a few things the hard way. Must you too?

My child is 12. How old is yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think you should know the parents before you allow your child over at someone's house.

How old is your child?

Probably older than yours. Some of us learn a few things the hard way. Must you too?

My child is 12. How old is yours?

Adult. Wish I had some of the good advice on this thread. My kid was adored by teachers, a top athlete and a good student. But lied to me, like just about everyone else. You still have time to do better. Verify everything, especially when you think you're too tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These kids were liked, loved and well treated by many. They had hoards of friends and stable families. They knew right from wrong. The point is that kids make bad decisions. How do we let them grow up and help guide them to be strong, competent decision makers?

I don't think you can be a competent decision maker when you're drunk.

I don't think adults serving you alcohol until you are shit-faced are competent decision makers either.

I don't think parents who ignore alcohol citations and still let you drive are competent decision makers.

Before your kid leaves for the evening, please ask...

Where are you going?
Who's driving?
Are they going to drink?
Call me if they drink. I don't care what time it is. I'll come get you.

This probably wasn't the first time the kids drove drunk, only the first time some of them ended up dead. We'll be reading about another horrific crash in a few years and people saying they were good kids, good parents. True, but you still end up with dead kids unless you hammer home the message not to drive drunk or get into a car with someone who was drinking.

I'll go ahead and say the obvious:
Your kid is NOT a competent decision maker once he gets to his next party, and gets a drink.

When you tell your kid it's ok to "party," you should first give him the biggest hug, 'cause it may very well be your LAST hug.

There's NOTHING safe about your kid going to a party.

A party isn't a party without alcohol. The "good" kids said this.
You should believe it, before it's too late.

Just try having a "party" at your house without drinking.
No one (cool) will come.
Try it!

Chasing cool is stupid. Those who are cool in high school generally aren't so awesome after. Better to teach your kids to pick genuine friends.

My son is too young to understand this, but my daughter, who's 11, isn't. I told her that unless I know and LIKE the parents/guardians of her friends, there is not deep friendship developing.

Kids usually reflect their parents. Of course, there are exceptions, but so far, my daughter has picked kids who are genuinely good kids. And as a HS teacher, I know the deal. LOTS of lying, hiding things, etc.

But hopefully, if lines of communication are open, both kids will have enough trust in us - their parents - to call if there's an emergency. I shared this ugly story with her and said that if she ever got into this situation to call - for herself and for her friends. We'd be there in a heartbeat.

I don't think it's ever too late talk about these issues. Hell, gang recruitment starts in middle school! These kids aren't immune from the ugly side of life.

Get back to us about this rule when your DD is 14.

Sweetie, don't even go there.

I teach HS and have been to more funerals for teens than many of you have.

Get back to me after you've been to the funeral of a 14 yo dead gang member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These kids were liked, loved and well treated by many. They had hoards of friends and stable families. They knew right from wrong. The point is that kids make bad decisions. How do we let them grow up and help guide them to be strong, competent decision makers?

I don't think you can be a competent decision maker when you're drunk.

I don't think adults serving you alcohol until you are shit-faced are competent decision makers either.

I don't think parents who ignore alcohol citations and still let you drive are competent decision makers.

Before your kid leaves for the evening, please ask...

Where are you going?
Who's driving?
Are they going to drink?
Call me if they drink. I don't care what time it is. I'll come get you.

This probably wasn't the first time the kids drove drunk, only the first time some of them ended up dead. We'll be reading about another horrific crash in a few years and people saying they were good kids, good parents. True, but you still end up with dead kids unless you hammer home the message not to drive drunk or get into a car with someone who was drinking.

I'll go ahead and say the obvious:
Your kid is NOT a competent decision maker once he gets to his next party, and gets a drink.

When you tell your kid it's ok to "party," you should first give him the biggest hug, 'cause it may very well be your LAST hug.

There's NOTHING safe about your kid going to a party.

A party isn't a party without alcohol. The "good" kids said this.
You should believe it, before it's too late.

Just try having a "party" at your house without drinking.
No one (cool) will come.
Try it!

Chasing cool is stupid. Those who are cool in high school generally aren't so awesome after. Better to teach your kids to pick genuine friends.

My son is too young to understand this, but my daughter, who's 11, isn't. I told her that unless I know and LIKE the parents/guardians of her friends, there is not deep friendship developing.

Kids usually reflect their parents. Of course, there are exceptions, but so far, my daughter has picked kids who are genuinely good kids. And as a HS teacher, I know the deal. LOTS of lying, hiding things, etc.

But hopefully, if lines of communication are open, both kids will have enough trust in us - their parents - to call if there's an emergency. I shared this ugly story with her and said that if she ever got into this situation to call - for herself and for her friends. We'd be there in a heartbeat.

I don't think it's ever too late talk about these issues. Hell, gang recruitment starts in middle school! These kids aren't immune from the ugly side of life.

Get back to us about this rule when your DD is 14.

Sweetie, don't even go there.

I teach HS and have been to more funerals for teens than many of you have.

Get back to me after you've been to the funeral of a 14 yo dead gang member.

Bless you. Thank you for doing the hardest job. No amount of money is enough for a good, caring teacher.

[Anonymous]

Another teen driver death reported in Damascus. No cause identified yet.

http://patch.com/maryland/rockville/teen-dies-early-morning-crash-police-0?utm_source=alert-breakingnews&utm_medium=email&utm_term=police%20%26%20fire&utm_campaign=alert

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alcohol didnt kill the kids, drink driving did.

Right, and guns don't kill people, people kill people.

The adults who own this house should be charged as accessories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had a "dry" graduation party for my son. (He was not a cool kid). It was during the day on a Saturday. Only one parent called me to ask if there would be alcohol there.
Just because the kids are going to sneak and do stuff anyway doesn't mean we shouldn't try and have no-alcohol events.
I'm not willing to throw in the towel and just see what happens.

You're my idea of a good parent.

+1

Good for you PP. And, good for that other parent for calling to ask!

You do realize most of the parties with drugs and alcohol ... The parents did not supply it, it is hidden from the parents. It's not until somebody throws up that the parents realize there is a breach in security.

I hope you then told everyone to call their parents to be taken home. Did you? Or did they drive themselves, not know for sure if they had "too much" to drink?

*knowing

Except 1/2 the party went home, before you realize it.

Nobody should be hosting parties so big they don't know who's there. Nobody should be letting their kids hang out with "zero" supervision. If all this is happening, then parents are tacitly condoning it all. There's no way to hide heavy alcohol use unless the parents are drunk or stoned themselves.

You are clueless. 10 kids over to watch a movie, all are 17, you don't check on kids every 5 min. They sneak in vodka, do shots. 5 leave through the back door, your daughter realizes what is going onand comes to get you. You go downstairs and 1 kid is throwing up, 5 are gone. It happens as fast as that. PPLUS you have known all these kids since K... goood kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had a "dry" graduation party for my son. (He was not a cool kid). It was during the day on a Saturday. Only one parent called me to ask if there would be alcohol there.
Just because the kids are going to sneak and do stuff anyway doesn't mean we shouldn't try and have no-alcohol events.
I'm not willing to throw in the towel and just see what happens.

You're my idea of a good parent.

+1

Good for you PP. And, good for that other parent for calling to ask!

You do realize most of the parties with drugs and alcohol ... The parents did not supply it, it is hidden from the parents. It's not until somebody throws up that the parents realize there is a breach in security.

I hope you then told everyone to call their parents to be taken home. Did you? Or did they drive themselves, not know for sure if they had "too much" to drink?

*knowing

Except 1/2 the party went home, before you realize it.

Nobody should be hosting parties so big they don't know who's there. Nobody should be letting their kids hang out with "zero" supervision. If all this is happening, then parents are tacitly condoning it all. There's no way to hide heavy alcohol use unless the parents are drunk or stoned themselves.

You are clueless. 10 kids over to watch a movie, all are 17, you don't check on kids every 5 min. They sneak in vodka, do shots. 5 leave through the back door, your daughter realizes what is going onand comes to get you. You go downstairs and 1 kid is throwing up, 5 are gone. It happens as fast as that. PPLUS you have known all these kids since K... goood kids.

This must be a kid posting. I'm not clueless. I'm a responsible parent. Kids are in the family room, on the same level. If you aren't drinking yourself, you can smell alcohol (yes, including vodka) a mile away. Random checking, following by truly nixing inappropriate behavior, is a powerful deterrent. And I know many many parents like me, who do the same thing.

And there are many parents who don't supervise. Or who condone teen drinking. Kids tend to go "there" to party hard. Or they skip school and go to whatever house doesn't have parents and nosy neighbors. Not to my house.