How is Sorority Rush going?

[Anonymous]

Ge[b wrote:[/b]ed]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Went through sorority rush back in the 90s at an Ivy. The process was crushing to some of my friends who didn’t match at their preferred house. I got into my top choice house, but I found it remarkably unfulfilling. Many of my “sisters” are still friends and I see them getting together for wine tours and things on FB. I will encourage my DC to avoid schools with Greek Life or at least look for a low percentage who rush/pledge, because there can be a perception that you will be left out socially if it seems most of your friends are rushing. My friend group ended up being centered around a shared interest rather than just the alcohol and hook-up culture of Greek Life, so I spent less and less time at the sorority house until I deactivated entirely. I’d rather have my kid attend college and live at home than pay huge dollars to be on their own in that setting. The girls I met were smart and high achievers, but I realized I’m not a “joiner” just for a social scene. I’d rather get to know people in a more organic way. Good luck to your DC. Certain personality types are better cut out for Greek Life than others.

I have an almost identical story but my DD has her heart set on schools with big Greek systems and rushing so sometimes the kids don’t listen to their parents!

I think back and regret my Greek time. Yes, I had fun and made friends, but I wonder what I would have accomplished if I hadn't been focused on getting drunk at parties almost every night. My niece joined a sorority and promptly failed out of school. I won't be encouraging my kids to rush, I just think it is a fast ticket to wasting your time at college.

This is how I feel too. I did use it for leadership stuff, but also drank heavily Thursday-Saturday at a minimum. Have a kid at at T10 and she’s done more in her first semester it feels like than I did in 4 years. I went to a good school and I wasted a lot of it.

Stop sororities and fraternities tend to have higher GPA than rest of schools. If you were a pattern you would have partied. I had plenty of wild non greek friends and they partied more than me.
Just not my thing to drink. Those kids didn’t want to have to go to meetings and do extra philanthropy and grade pressure. My guess is you would have done worse because that is how you rolled.

That’s not accurate. Some fraternities do well academically and some do poorly academically. It all depends. Fraternities are not all alike. Certain fraternities have massive alcohol and date rape problems. Others don’t.

The saddest sororities are the Southern ones that aren’t allowed to have the same freedoms as the fraternities. Men can’t go in their bedrooms. No alcohol allowed. They need to dress up at all times. Pink is a preferred color. They are segregated by race. The rigidity. It’s like they are setting themselves up to be a perfect hostess for their successful husbands who may or may not be faithful.

Do you know how averages work?

The AVERAGE fraternity man's GPA is higher than the AVERAGE geed's GPA.

On almost every campus.

That is a fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:okay so why are you on this thread? This was asking about how rush went?

Fair question, I opened out of curiosity as it was a major part of my college experience, read something that rubbed me wrong and responses without much thought to what initial post was about.

I just think it would be classier to not use that phrase. It reflects poorly and isn’t doing the Greek system any favors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Ge[b wrote:[/b]ed]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Went through sorority rush back in the 90s at an Ivy. The process was crushing to some of my friends who didn’t match at their preferred house. I got into my top choice house, but I found it remarkably unfulfilling. Many of my “sisters” are still friends and I see them getting together for wine tours and things on FB. I will encourage my DC to avoid schools with Greek Life or at least look for a low percentage who rush/pledge, because there can be a perception that you will be left out socially if it seems most of your friends are rushing. My friend group ended up being centered around a shared interest rather than just the alcohol and hook-up culture of Greek Life, so I spent less and less time at the sorority house until I deactivated entirely. I’d rather have my kid attend college and live at home than pay huge dollars to be on their own in that setting. The girls I met were smart and high achievers, but I realized I’m not a “joiner” just for a social scene. I’d rather get to know people in a more organic way. Good luck to your DC. Certain personality types are better cut out for Greek Life than others.

I have an almost identical story but my DD has her heart set on schools with big Greek systems and rushing so sometimes the kids don’t listen to their parents!

I think back and regret my Greek time. Yes, I had fun and made friends, but I wonder what I would have accomplished if I hadn't been focused on getting drunk at parties almost every night. My niece joined a sorority and promptly failed out of school. I won't be encouraging my kids to rush, I just think it is a fast ticket to wasting your time at college.

This is how I feel too. I did use it for leadership stuff, but also drank heavily Thursday-Saturday at a minimum. Have a kid at at T10 and she’s done more in her first semester it feels like than I did in 4 years. I went to a good school and I wasted a lot of it.

Stop sororities and fraternities tend to have higher GPA than rest of schools. If you were a pattern you would have partied. I had plenty of wild non greek friends and they partied more than me.
Just not my thing to drink. Those kids didn’t want to have to go to meetings and do extra philanthropy and grade pressure. My guess is you would have done worse because that is how you rolled.

That’s not accurate. Some fraternities do well academically and some do poorly academically. It all depends. Fraternities are not all alike. Certain fraternities have massive alcohol and date rape problems. Others don’t.

The saddest sororities are the Southern ones that aren’t allowed to have the same freedoms as the fraternities. Men can’t go in their bedrooms. No alcohol allowed. They need to dress up at all times. Pink is a preferred color. They are segregated by race. The rigidity. It’s like they are setting themselves up to be a perfect hostess for their successful husbands who may or may not be faithful.

Do you know how averages work?

The AVERAGE fraternity man's GPA is higher than the AVERAGE geed's GPA.

On almost every campus.

That is a fact.

It's just a proxy for income level. This is also a fact. I'd rather my dd date from a pool with a lower average GPA and not get raped or deal with toxic masculinity. It's douchey. Period.

[Anonymous]

Someone Who Didn't Get a Bid wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Ge[b wrote:[/b]ed]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Went through sorority rush back in the 90s at an Ivy. The process was crushing to some of my friends who didn’t match at their preferred house. I got into my top choice house, but I found it remarkably unfulfilling. Many of my “sisters” are still friends and I see them getting together for wine tours and things on FB. I will encourage my DC to avoid schools with Greek Life or at least look for a low percentage who rush/pledge, because there can be a perception that you will be left out socially if it seems most of your friends are rushing. My friend group ended up being centered around a shared interest rather than just the alcohol and hook-up culture of Greek Life, so I spent less and less time at the sorority house until I deactivated entirely. I’d rather have my kid attend college and live at home than pay huge dollars to be on their own in that setting. The girls I met were smart and high achievers, but I realized I’m not a “joiner” just for a social scene. I’d rather get to know people in a more organic way. Good luck to your DC. Certain personality types are better cut out for Greek Life than others.

I have an almost identical story but my DD has her heart set on schools with big Greek systems and rushing so sometimes the kids don’t listen to their parents!

I think back and regret my Greek time. Yes, I had fun and made friends, but I wonder what I would have accomplished if I hadn't been focused on getting drunk at parties almost every night. My niece joined a sorority and promptly failed out of school. I won't be encouraging my kids to rush, I just think it is a fast ticket to wasting your time at college.

This is how I feel too. I did use it for leadership stuff, but also drank heavily Thursday-Saturday at a minimum. Have a kid at at T10 and she’s done more in her first semester it feels like than I did in 4 years. I went to a good school and I wasted a lot of it.

Stop sororities and fraternities tend to have higher GPA than rest of schools. If you were a pattern you would have partied. I had plenty of wild non greek friends and they partied more than me.
Just not my thing to drink. Those kids didn’t want to have to go to meetings and do extra philanthropy and grade pressure. My guess is you would have done worse because that is how you rolled.

That’s not accurate. Some fraternities do well academically and some do poorly academically. It all depends. Fraternities are not all alike. Certain fraternities have massive alcohol and date rape problems. Others don’t.

The saddest sororities are the Southern ones that aren’t allowed to have the same freedoms as the fraternities. Men can’t go in their bedrooms. No alcohol allowed. They need to dress up at all times. Pink is a preferred color. They are segregated by race. The rigidity. It’s like they are setting themselves up to be a perfect hostess for their successful husbands who may or may not be faithful.

Do you know how averages work?

The AVERAGE fraternity man's GPA is higher than the AVERAGE geed's GPA.

On almost every campus.

That is a fact.

It's just a proxy for income level. This is also a fact. I'd rather my dd date from a pool with a lower average GPA and not get raped or deal with toxic masculinity. It's douchey. Period.

Income level is one variable among many that lead to fraternity men having higher GPAs. Others include greater connectedness to the campus community, live-in study buddies, mandatory study halls (for pledges), easy access to older students who've taken certain classes, and the hustle mindset that is often concomitant with men who aspire to elevate their campus status by joining a fraternity.

And the term "toxic masculinity" went out in 2021. I guarantee that if you or your daughter were in danger, you'd rather have a fraternity man show up than a woke bro.

[Anonymous]

Vanderbilt mom here, freshmen daughter just went through rush and didn’t seem to be that bad. Normal up’s and downs but ultimately ended up where she thought she would. I don’t think it’s too cutthroat at all. Vanderbilt is very work hard play hard so we will see how this changes her perception of college life….seems very happy so far.

[Anonymous]

It makes me laugh when parents think they would know if their kid’s house hazed people.
They especially aren’t going to tell you during the semester it’s happening to them.

[Anonymous]

Some of the reason for higher gpa's is also tied to the fact that there is a minimum gpa to rush at least for sororities. Then houses may have their own minimum that is higher than the standard set overall. This may also account for some students being dropped as they may not realize that a house requires a higher gpa than they have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Ge[b wrote:[/b]ed]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Went through sorority rush back in the 90s at an Ivy. The process was crushing to some of my friends who didn’t match at their preferred house. I got into my top choice house, but I found it remarkably unfulfilling. Many of my “sisters” are still friends and I see them getting together for wine tours and things on FB. I will encourage my DC to avoid schools with Greek Life or at least look for a low percentage who rush/pledge, because there can be a perception that you will be left out socially if it seems most of your friends are rushing. My friend group ended up being centered around a shared interest rather than just the alcohol and hook-up culture of Greek Life, so I spent less and less time at the sorority house until I deactivated entirely. I’d rather have my kid attend college and live at home than pay huge dollars to be on their own in that setting. The girls I met were smart and high achievers, but I realized I’m not a “joiner” just for a social scene. I’d rather get to know people in a more organic way. Good luck to your DC. Certain personality types are better cut out for Greek Life than others.

I have an almost identical story but my DD has her heart set on schools with big Greek systems and rushing so sometimes the kids don’t listen to their parents!

I think back and regret my Greek time. Yes, I had fun and made friends, but I wonder what I would have accomplished if I hadn't been focused on getting drunk at parties almost every night. My niece joined a sorority and promptly failed out of school. I won't be encouraging my kids to rush, I just think it is a fast ticket to wasting your time at college.

This is how I feel too. I did use it for leadership stuff, but also drank heavily Thursday-Saturday at a minimum. Have a kid at at T10 and she’s done more in her first semester it feels like than I did in 4 years. I went to a good school and I wasted a lot of it.

Stop sororities and fraternities tend to have higher GPA than rest of schools. If you were a pattern you would have partied. I had plenty of wild non greek friends and they partied more than me.
Just not my thing to drink. Those kids didn’t want to have to go to meetings and do extra philanthropy and grade pressure. My guess is you would have done worse because that is how you rolled.

That’s not accurate. Some fraternities do well academically and some do poorly academically. It all depends. Fraternities are not all alike. Certain fraternities have massive alcohol and date rape problems. Others don’t.

The saddest sororities are the Southern ones that aren’t allowed to have the same freedoms as the fraternities. Men can’t go in their bedrooms. No alcohol allowed. They need to dress up at all times. Pink is a preferred color. They are segregated by race. The rigidity. It’s like they are setting themselves up to be a perfect hostess for their successful husbands who may or may not be faithful.

Do you know how averages work?

The AVERAGE fraternity man's GPA is higher than the AVERAGE geed's GPA.

On almost every campus.

That is a fact.

It's just a proxy for income level. This is also a fact. I'd rather my dd date from a pool with a lower average GPA and not get raped or deal with toxic masculinity. It's douchey. Period.

There is some truth to the notion that fraternity members are more likely to commit date rape. College athletes are similarly more likely to commit date rape. Some of it is that they go on more dates than others but a lot of it is that they are more likely to be sexually entitled guys. They think they are entitled to sex. These sort of guys are not that hard to spot but women seem to find them desirable and compete for them, which is probably where they get their sense of entitlement.

[Anonymous]

This is based on nothing stop it

[Anonymous]

What is the draw of the sorority?

Is it to find friends and a peer group?

We have highly encouraged our DD to not rush and to find peers through clubs and other activities. Neither one of us were in Greek life when we were in college, and we had a fun college experience with friends who we still periodically are in touch with today.

My perspective on Greek life is that it appears to me like you're paying for your friends, like you have to rush and then pay a fee to stay in this social club.

My small interaction with some in frats when I was in college, reminded me of the social "clicks" in high school. It gave me the impression of immature folks who seemed insecure and never grew out of high school social clicks. Seemingly wanting to constantly compare and rack and stack others.

But our lovely DD chooses not to listen to parents encouragement, and is currently rushing. She's a grown-up now, and as long as she works or comes up w/ the money for it... she's free to do as she pleases.

So are we wrong in our perspective of greek life? What is the draw?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the draw of the sorority?

Is it to find friends and a peer group?

We have highly encouraged our DD to not rush and to find peers through clubs and other activities. Neither one of us were in Greek life when we were in college, and we had a fun college experience with friends who we still periodically are in touch with today.

My perspective on Greek life is that it appears to me like you're paying for your friends, like you have to rush and then pay a fee to stay in this social club.

My small interaction with some in frats when I was in college, reminded me of the social "clicks" in high school. It gave me the impression of immature folks who seemed insecure and never grew out of high school social clicks. Seemingly wanting to constantly compare and rack and stack others.

But our lovely DD chooses not to listen to parents encouragement, and is currently rushing. She's a grown-up now, and as long as she works or comes up w/ the money for it... she's free to do as she pleases.

So are we wrong in our perspective of greek life? What is the draw?

You are acting judgmental. Why does your daughter want to join? Probably because it’s a fun social club that you get to eat with, live with, enjoy life with. Most clubs aren’t as involved. For my daughter, some of the fees are her meal plan and rent. Some is for social activities, but of the “clubs” that you feel are better had the same amenities, you’d have to pay for them.

Every sorority has girls that like to party, girls who don’t like to party, girls who are judgmental and girls who are super open minded. There are republicans and democrats and those who don’t care at all about politics. Within each sorority is a friend group for everyone.

Rush is hard because girls come in with preconceived notions of each house, but most girls enjoy it (obviously not all).

Stop shaming girls, including your daughter, when you don’t even seem to understand what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the draw of the sorority?

Is it to find friends and a peer group?

We have highly encouraged our DD to not rush and to find peers through clubs and other activities. Neither one of us were in Greek life when we were in college, and we had a fun college experience with friends who we still periodically are in touch with today.

My perspective on Greek life is that it appears to me like you're paying for your friends, like you have to rush and then pay a fee to stay in this social club.

My small interaction with some in frats when I was in college, reminded me of the social "clicks" in high school. It gave me the impression of immature folks who seemed insecure and never grew out of high school social clicks. Seemingly wanting to constantly compare and rack and stack others.

But our lovely DD chooses not to listen to parents encouragement, and is currently rushing. She's a grown-up now, and as long as she works or comes up w/ the money for it... she's free to do as she pleases.

So are we wrong in our perspective of greek life? What is the draw?

You are acting judgmental. Why does your daughter want to join? Probably because it’s a fun social club that you get to eat with, live with, enjoy life with. Most clubs aren’t as involved. For my daughter, some of the fees are her meal plan and rent. Some is for social activities, but of the “clubs” that you feel are better had the same amenities, you’d have to pay for them.

Every sorority has girls that like to party, girls who don’t like to party, girls who are judgmental and girls who are super open minded. There are republicans and democrats and those who don’t care at all about politics. Within each sorority is a friend group for everyone.

Rush is hard because girls come in with preconceived notions of each house, but most girls enjoy it (obviously not all).

Stop shaming girls, including your daughter, when you don’t even seem to understand what it is.

So I wasn't shaming girls, I was communicating my perspective and opinion, based on my own anecdotal experience.... i wasn't trashing girls in sororities or bros in frats... I just stated my current perspective and asked where I'm wrong. I'm open to being wrong, which is why I asked.

[Anonymous]

I was asked (25 years ago). Where I summered. It was the same place I wintered btw.

[Anonymous]

I was asked (25 years ago). Where I summered

DD was asked same question at UVA last week.

[Anonymous]

Is there a good way to research which sororities may be on the verge of closing chapters? My daughter wants to meet more friends, but is loathe to go thru formal rush and would rather do COB. Only worry is if COB houses are on the verge of closing their chapters.