Just got yelled at for leaving my kid alone in in the car while I went to the pharmacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand this is illegal now and not advocating doing it, just curious....didn't we all do this as kids? What happened that made the world so much more dangerous?

My boomer mom was infamous for "I'm just running in for eggs and milk" and an hour later coming back with a cart overflowing with groceries, we could have walked home multiple times in that one hour

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

“She would not have left the car running…”

OP left the car running. OP created an unnecessary risk to her child and others.

OP is an idiot.

PP here. Agree I wouldn't leave the car running.

But if OP had turned the car off and cracked windows people would be yelling that she'd risked hot car death (by leaving a child old enough to get out if the car and come find her inside in a car with open windows for a few minutes).

If we had more sane attitudes about supervision of kids this age OP could have just cracked the windows and this would be socially confined. Heck, In a functional society OP should have been able to tell her son "if there's an emergency, talk to that security guard over there" and then let the guard know her son was in the car and the guard would be like "cool, thanks for letting me know."

But we live in a non functional society where leaving a 7 year old who can walk and talk and read and write alone for a few minutes is "child neglect." Meanwhile there are actual cases of child neglect that never get prosecuted because most neglect happens in private homes.

It's idiotic. Did you know in Denmark parents routinely leave babies in strollers outside store and restaurants so they can finish naps? Because they have a social agreement that children are a collective responsibility. They are happier and more well adjusted people than we are

We are not in Denmark. The couple from Denmark who did this in nyc got in big trouble.

Crimes against children are not wildly different between the US and Denmark and in both countries the offender is usually known to the victim

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not so much that bringing a 7 year old with you is that difficult. It's the accumulation of stress and expectations on the parent.

For example, my 7 year old rides a 2 wheeler very well. However, even though she lives in an area where there would be no major streets to cross to get to school, she's not allowed to bike until 3rd grade. So that's another year of school drop off and pick up stress.

The list of those things in the US gigantic and ever growing it seems.

You chose this house and school. Stop acting like these decisions were thrust upon you.

Not PP but please shut up. You have no idea the limitations imposed on his/her household.

It’s a pretty standard response when anyone critiques the status quo on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand this is illegal now and not advocating doing it, just curious....didn't we all do this as kids? What happened that made the world so much more dangerous?

My boomer mom was infamous for "I'm just running in for eggs and milk" and an hour later coming back with a cart overflowing with groceries, we could have walked home multiple times in that one hour

It comes down to whether or not you believe there is more crime now or not. My Boomer mom always talks about how things were safer “back then” with kids roaming the streets, riding the bus, little parental supervision and nobody worried about crime. People are crazier now and people barely know their neighbors. Trust is at a low point and people demonstrate that keeping a short leash on their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand this is illegal now and not advocating doing it, just curious....didn't we all do this as kids? What happened that made the world so much more dangerous?

My boomer mom was infamous for "I'm just running in for eggs and milk" and an hour later coming back with a cart overflowing with groceries, we could have walked home multiple times in that one hour

It comes down to whether or not you believe there is more crime now or not. My Boomer mom always talks about how things were safer “back then” with kids roaming the streets, riding the bus, little parental supervision and nobody worried about crime. People are crazier now and people barely know their neighbors. Trust is at a low point and people demonstrate that keeping a short leash on their kids.

Statistically there is way less crime now than there was when we were kids. This is especially true in cities but extends to suburbs. Certainly true in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not so much that bringing a 7 year old with you is that difficult. It's the accumulation of stress and expectations on the parent.

For example, my 7 year old rides a 2 wheeler very well. However, even though she lives in an area where there would be no major streets to cross to get to school, she's not allowed to bike until 3rd grade. So that's another year of school drop off and pick up stress.

The list of those things in the US gigantic and ever growing it seems.

You chose this house and school. Stop acting like these decisions were thrust upon you.

Not PP but please shut up. You have no idea the limitations imposed on his/her household.

She should stop whining about hard it is too be a parent. Lord. Some people never stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not so much that bringing a 7 year old with you is that difficult. It's the accumulation of stress and expectations on the parent.

For example, my 7 year old rides a 2 wheeler very well. However, even though she lives in an area where there would be no major streets to cross to get to school, she's not allowed to bike until 3rd grade. So that's another year of school drop off and pick up stress.

The list of those things in the US gigantic and ever growing it seems.

You chose this house and school. Stop acting like these decisions were thrust upon you.

Not PP but please shut up. You have no idea the limitations imposed on his/her household.

It’s a pretty standard response when anyone critiques the status quo on this forum.

There is absolutely nothing that will help her child or her with her comments on this thread. You say “critique,” I say whining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

Already happened at a statistically measurable rate with child careseat laws. More kids were not born by far than were saved from car accidents.

In that case, let’s throw out car seats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand this is illegal now and not advocating doing it, just curious....didn't we all do this as kids? What happened that made the world so much more dangerous?

My boomer mom was infamous for "I'm just running in for eggs and milk" and an hour later coming back with a cart overflowing with groceries, we could have walked home multiple times in that one hour

It comes down to whether or not you believe there is more crime now or not. My Boomer mom always talks about how things were safer “back then” with kids roaming the streets, riding the bus, little parental supervision and nobody worried about crime. People are crazier now and people barely know their neighbors. Trust is at a low point and people demonstrate that keeping a short leash on their kids.

Statistically there is way less crime now than there was when we were kids. This is especially true in cities but extends to suburbs. Certainly true in the DMV.

That’s only part of it. People don’t trust other people. They feel like there is more crime and they don’t have a lot of confidence that criminals have consequences. So they aren’t going to let their kids roam freely. I doubt you do either.

[Anonymous]

I find it hard to believe that a "responsible" 7 year old would not come inside a pharmacy for a brief errand UNLESS this had been allowed in the past by the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, this is all really disheartening. Trust me, I am not a “mommy martyr”, and in general I think that a lot of expectations on parents are way too high. But not leaving a young child (or children) alone in a car seems like a no-brainer. It’s disturbing there are posters bragging about doing this. We get it, you’re an irresponsible parent - why is that something you seem proud of? Is it more hassle to bring the kid in with you? Sure. But oh well, that’s going to happen sometimes.

OP’s kid is 7. That means he’s in 2nd grade. If you can’t leave your 2nd grader alone in car for 10 minutes, it’s either because they have profound special needs, or more likely it means that you are absolutely failing as a parent.

And everyone needs to be real - I’m not looking up the dumb@$$ arbitrary laws of whatever state I happen to be in before I use *my own judgement* to determine what I think my child can handle before I pop into a store for a few minutes.

Some of you really need to grow a spine.

I’m convinced the mom who keeps sharing the story of bringing her tantruming toddler into a preschool pickup doesn’t actually have any kids 7 or older because she seems very out of touch with parenting kids this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The security guard should have GUARDED and just made sure nobody bothered your kid. THAT would have been actually helpful. A responsible 7 yr old would be fine in a car for ten minutes.

WTF?!?! Security guard is not a babysitter!! Op, you are stupid mom. Don’t deserve to be a mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your car got carjacked…… !!!!

Which has happened. A woman left a disabled toddler in the car. Left it running with a key in the car. Someone stole the car with her disabled child in it.

Okay and here’s a story of a kid outside of a vehicle who got hit in a Target parking lot. Bad things happen either way. Leave them in the car. Take them across the parking lot into the store. Most likely they’ll be fine. But no matter your choice the risk of injury/death is not zero even if you think your choice is morally superior.

https://www.cbs17.com/news/local-news/wake-county-news/child-taken-to-hospital-after-being-hit-by-car-in-target-parking-lot-in-apex/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, this is all really disheartening. Trust me, I am not a “mommy martyr”, and in general I think that a lot of expectations on parents are way too high. But not leaving a young child (or children) alone in a car seems like a no-brainer. It’s disturbing there are posters bragging about doing this. We get it, you’re an irresponsible parent - why is that something you seem proud of? Is it more hassle to bring the kid in with you? Sure. But oh well, that’s going to happen sometimes.

OP’s kid is 7. That means he’s in 2nd grade. If you can’t leave your 2nd grader alone in car for 10 minutes, it’s either because they have profound special needs, or more likely it means that you are absolutely failing as a parent.

And everyone needs to be real - I’m not looking up the dumb@$$ arbitrary laws of whatever state I happen to be in before I use *my own judgement* to determine what I think my child can handle before I pop into a store for a few minutes.

Some of you really need to grow a spine.

I’m convinced the mom who keeps sharing the story of bringing her tantruming toddler into a preschool pickup doesn’t actually have any kids 7 or older because she seems very out of touch with parenting kids this age.

Well aren’t you a fool then. You think parents all leave their kids in cars everywhere? Do you live anywhere near kids? My kids are 8, 10, and 14. The vast majority of parents take their kids with them and don’t leave them in running cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your car got carjacked…… !!!!

Which has happened. A woman left a disabled toddler in the car. Left it running with a key in the car. Someone stole the car with her disabled child in it.

Okay and here’s a story of a kid outside of a vehicle who got hit in a Target parking lot. Bad things happen either way. Leave them in the car. Take them across the parking lot into the store. Most likely they’ll be fine. But no matter your choice the risk of injury/death is not zero even if you think your choice is morally superior.

https://www.cbs17.com/news/local-news/wake-county-news/child-taken-to-hospital-after-being-hit-by-car-in-target-parking-lot-in-apex/

And an unaccompanied child leaving the car to go into the store to find mom would be exposed to a greater risk.