I was so close and now I’m shut out

Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.


Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.


Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!


I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.


This. This is who I would feel bad for. Not someone who can afford a $1.2 million house.



She’s 50.


And?



That’s 20 more years of working, saving, and wishing. And most people expect to be in a better lifestyle at 50 than they were in their 30s. Why do you only feel sorry for 30 year olds?


Because there are a lot fewer houses available for $500k than $1 mil.


Age is irrelevant, I would not feel bad for a 30-year old with a $1 mil. budget either.


Dumbest comment on this thread, of course age is relevant.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.


Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.


Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!


I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.


This. This is who I would feel bad for. Not someone who can afford a $1.2 million house.



She’s 50.


And?



That’s 20 more years of working, saving, and wishing. And most people expect to be in a better lifestyle at 50 than they were in their 30s. Why do you only feel sorry for 30 year olds?


Because there are a lot fewer houses available for $500k than $1 mil.


Age is irrelevant, I would not feel bad for a 30-year old with a $1 mil. budget either.


Dumbest comment on this thread, of course age is relevant.


Relevant to what? You either have the money for a certain house or you don't.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.


Tell that to OP


You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.


There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.


Jfc you must make a terrible friend


I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!


Oh so when your friend has marriage problems, you say, "People all over the world have marriage problems. No marriage is perfect. You are not special in that regard."

Or are you just an a-hole to people online?


Kind of...? I do think it's important for people not to hold up their marriage to a perfect ideal that may not be realistic. People are not perfect, they change over time, there are different stressors when kids come into the picture. Everyone has different strengths, think about what the positives are, and how you can work on the negatives, think about whether staying married is better than getting divorced, etc...

What I don't say: Well if you can't have the perfect fairy-tale marriage, then just give up, you are shut out of the marriage market.


You say "kind of" because you don't say that in person, but you can say it here as you are hiding behind your anonymity and that be somehow makes your appalling behavior ok.


I just told you what I said, and I would say it to a friend or to OP. I don't think it's appalling behavior to try to help someone see that they still have choices even though their choices may be more limited than before and they are sad about it.


You sound like an insufferable person


Okay. Well, I am just a person who made trade offs when I bought a townhouse close in, because like 99% of people, I had a budget to work with.


What is your point? I also bought a townhouse (not really close in) and had s budget to work with. I just don't feel particularly upset or angry about my income level and not being able to afford $1.2 million. I can also respond in a human way to someone upset about the market right now. I would be losing my mind if I was trying to buy now, no matter my budget.


The point, as many people have stated, is that there are still houses OP can buy. She is not "shut out." She may be angry and sad, which is understandable, but she still has options.



She has a goal for a particular type of house. At her age I can absolutely see how she feels shut out in terms of that goal.


This is the dumbest comment on the thread. By this measure, TONS of people in this area have been "shut out" for years. Fortunately, some of them were able to adjust their goals and still buy a house. If OP doesn't want to do that, fine. But don't expect those of us who did settle for the possible rather than the dream to feel sorry for her.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.


Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.


Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!


I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.


This. This is who I would feel bad for. Not someone who can afford a $1.2 million house.



She’s 50.


And?



That’s 20 more years of working, saving, and wishing. And most people expect to be in a better lifestyle at 50 than they were in their 30s. Why do you only feel sorry for 30 year olds?


Because there are a lot fewer houses available for $500k than $1 mil.


Age is irrelevant, I would not feel bad for a 30-year old with a $1 mil. budget either.


Dumbest comment on this thread, of course age is relevant.


+1
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.


Tell that to OP


You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.


There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.


Jfc you must make a terrible friend


I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!


Oh so when your friend has marriage problems, you say, "People all over the world have marriage problems. No marriage is perfect. You are not special in that regard."

Or are you just an a-hole to people online?


Kind of...? I do think it's important for people not to hold up their marriage to a perfect ideal that may not be realistic. People are not perfect, they change over time, there are different stressors when kids come into the picture. Everyone has different strengths, think about what the positives are, and how you can work on the negatives, think about whether staying married is better than getting divorced, etc...

What I don't say: Well if you can't have the perfect fairy-tale marriage, then just give up, you are shut out of the marriage market.


You say "kind of" because you don't say that in person, but you can say it here as you are hiding behind your anonymity and that be somehow makes your appalling behavior ok.


I just told you what I said, and I would say it to a friend or to OP. I don't think it's appalling behavior to try to help someone see that they still have choices even though their choices may be more limited than before and they are sad about it.


You sound like an insufferable person


Okay. Well, I am just a person who made trade offs when I bought a townhouse close in, because like 99% of people, I had a budget to work with.


What is your point? I also bought a townhouse (not really close in) and had s budget to work with. I just don't feel particularly upset or angry about my income level and not being able to afford $1.2 million. I can also respond in a human way to someone upset about the market right now. I would be losing my mind if I was trying to buy now, no matter my budget.


The point, as many people have stated, is that there are still houses OP can buy. She is not "shut out." She may be angry and sad, which is understandable, but she still has options.



She has a goal for a particular type of house. At her age I can absolutely see how she feels shut out in terms of that goal.


If she really felt like she should have a house "at her age," she would've bought one earlier.

If she still feels like she should have a house "at her age," guess what - there are still houses she can buy.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Can we all agree that it's majorly tone deaf to complain that you can't afford a $1.7 Million dollar house? I mean COME ON. There are plenty of houses that someone can afford $1.3 Million at these interest rates (OP DID say that she could afford a $1.3 Million house now, not a $1.7 Million one) can buy that are still very nice and decent commuting distance to DC.



OP. No, I didn’t say that and no, I can’t.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:Can we all agree that it's majorly tone deaf to complain that you can't afford a $1.7 Million dollar house? I mean COME ON. There are plenty of houses that someone can afford $1.3 Million at these interest rates (OP DID say that she could afford a $1.3 Million house now, not a $1.7 Million one) can buy that are still very nice and decent commuting distance to DC.



OP. No, I didn’t say that and no, I can’t.


OP, what is your actual budget then and where is your target area?
Anonymous
OP. You are in the twilight years now and should be thinking about retirement. Look for a house in a retirement area and continue to rent locally. Stop worrying about buying here.
Anonymous
If it was a 25 yo complaining they can't afford to buy a $1.2 million home I would absolutely have less sympathy and so would all of you fools
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If it was a 25 yo complaining they can't afford to buy a $1.2 million home I would absolutely have less sympathy and so would all of you fools


I would tell anyone, at any age, if they can't afford a $1.2 million home, they should find something cheaper.

It's common sense.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:Lower you expectations or make more, maybe get married


No one wants to marry me I’m 50.


1. This is a blessing, OP. It means you won't lock all your money into a house, which is never good at your age.

2. Go to a lower cost of living area around here, where you can still have a decent commute, since you don't need to worry about schools. There are plenty of safe but affordable areas.

3. Bonus: I'm sure you'll find a lovely community, and perhaps a life partner, while doing that. Best of luck!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If it was a 25 yo complaining they can't afford to buy a $1.2 million home I would absolutely have less sympathy and so would all of you fools


I would tell anyone, at any age, if they can't afford a $1.2 million home, they should find something cheaper.

It's common sense.


What if you don't want something cheaper? Why buy something you don't want?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If it was a 25 yo complaining they can't afford to buy a $1.2 million home I would absolutely have less sympathy and so would all of you fools


I would tell anyone, at any age, if they can't afford a $1.2 million home, they should find something cheaper.

It's common sense.


What if you don't want something cheaper? Why buy something you don't want?


I didn't say buy. I said find (buy, rent, barter, couch sit, whatever). Sometimes we can't afford what we want in life, and we have to make other plans.

It is sad when this is happening to someone who literally has very few resources. It is a lot less sympathetic when coming from someone who could still afford a million dollar house but doesn't think they're good enough. Fact it, she still has many more resources than the majority of people, that's why she's coming off as tone deaf.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If it was a 25 yo complaining they can't afford to buy a $1.2 million home I would absolutely have less sympathy and so would all of you fools


I would tell anyone, at any age, if they can't afford a $1.2 million home, they should find something cheaper.

It's common sense.


What if you don't want something cheaper? Why buy something you don't want?


I didn't say buy. I said find (buy, rent, barter, couch sit, whatever). Sometimes we can't afford what we want in life, and we have to make other plans.

It is sad when this is happening to someone who literally has very few resources. It is a lot less sympathetic when coming from someone who could still afford a million dollar house but doesn't think they're good enough. Fact it, she still has many more resources than the majority of people, that's why she's coming off as tone deaf.

What is "tone deaf" is to pretend that if OP can afford $1 million at 6.8% at age 50 ( not at all clear from her posts) that makes her more privileged than the typical DCUM poster. Or to pretend that $1 million buys you some huge house on Bethesda.
- owner of $600k home in the Einstein cluster
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If it was a 25 yo complaining they can't afford to buy a $1.2 million home I would absolutely have less sympathy and so would all of you fools


I would tell anyone, at any age, if they can't afford a $1.2 million home, they should find something cheaper.

It's common sense.


What if you don't want something cheaper? Why buy something you don't want?


I didn't say buy. I said find (buy, rent, barter, couch sit, whatever). Sometimes we can't afford what we want in life, and we have to make other plans.

It is sad when this is happening to someone who literally has very few resources. It is a lot less sympathetic when coming from someone who could still afford a million dollar house but doesn't think they're good enough. Fact it, she still has many more resources than the majority of people, that's why she's coming off as tone deaf.

What is "tone deaf" is to pretend that if OP can afford $1 million at 6.8% at age 50 ( not at all clear from her posts) that makes her more privileged than the typical DCUM poster. Or to pretend that $1 million buys you some huge house on Bethesda.
- owner of $600k home in the Einstein cluster


+1
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