If you are a working mom, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of odd that a few of you choose to attack me and my relationship with my kids which I told you is close and just fine but perhaps you can't imagine such a thing? I don't know, it's kind of pathetic though. There are pages and pages of working moms with insulting, sarcastic and nasty comments toward the OP just for asking why they work, maybe your time would be better spent attacking them? Because trust me, you are not hurting my feelings even a tiny bit.

15:45 again. And I don't believe you. You keep coming back so this is definitely getting to you. I wish you would stop being defensive and digging in further and reflect.

I keep coming back, you keep coming back. Hmmm.

I probably won't come back when the few PPs who won't give up finally stop attacking me. Huge double standard, it's okay for you to attack me but not okay for me to disagree with the choices of some working moms. And BTW I didn't decide this question doesn't apply to dads, I think it does. It was the OP who asked the original question, not me.

Just curious also why you think it's okay for so many PPs to be insulting and snarky to the OP but it's me you choose to jump on.

You’re not being jumped on. You’re being wrong. Loudly, repeatedly, and verifiably wrong.

When someone tells you 2+2 doesn’t equal five, they’re not hurting you. You can either learn that it equals four, or you can keep loudly insisting that it equals five. But when another person— and another, and another— tells you it equals four, you’re still not some kind of victim of the math Illuminati— you’re just another person who is wrong.

Well there's no arguing with that! Your closed mindedness and singular focus that tells you that you are right and I am wrong is something you might want to examine. Just because a few working moms on DCUM disagree with me means very little. You may have noticed that most people are staying out of this discussion, it's mostly me and maybe two or three others. That's because it's not as cut and dried in everyone's mind as you seem to think. Many parents, new and otherwise, question whether the best thing for their children is daycare or parent care. There are threads started on DCUM about that all the time.

I notice you ignore all the many comments on this thread that are rude, insulting and nasty when addressing the OP's question Why do you work? Is it really that hard to defend the decision without attacking?

No one needs to defend their decision and no one cares that you made a different one. People told you to shape up when you described the women who worked in daycare centers in derogatory terms. That’s when you started on your victimhood, everyone is judging me tantrum. You’re not a victim. You are just a person who is wrong and, apparently, doesn’t have the grace to apologize and do better.

[Anonymous]

When you continue to insist that you are right and I am wrong and I should apologize for being wrong that pretty much ends the discussion. I never thought I was a victim, I was responding to those who were accusing me of being judgmental, as if they weren't. I don't have the "grace to apologize and do better" anymore than you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you continue to insist that you are right and I am wrong and I should apologize for being wrong that pretty much ends the discussion. I never thought I was a victim, I was responding to those who were accusing me of being judgmental, as if they weren't. I don't have the "grace to apologize and do better" anymore than you do.

It SHOULD end the discussion. You are spouting nonsense in your opinions and you won't back down. That is the story. Daycares do not ruin children. Mothers do not work, because they are selfish. This is your drum and you just keep beating it loudly no matter how many people tell you to quit it. That makes YOU the public nuisance. Everyone makes judgements, it is true, but you are being judgmental, meaning you are OVERLY critical of working moms and you are talking completely out of turn when you clearly have no idea why other moms choose to work.

And as for your multiple attempts to deflect by asking why no one is chiding the working moms who have taken the OP down a few notches, it is because their responses are appropriate. The OP is out of line, same as you. S/he started this thread to stir the pot/be a troll/ stoke mommy wars and working moms are tired of people like you and OP who do these things. There are many legitimate reasons moms work and they don't owe you or anyone else any explanations for why they work. It is a tired and sexist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of odd that a few of you choose to attack me and my relationship with my kids which I told you is close and just fine but perhaps you can't imagine such a thing? I don't know, it's kind of pathetic though. There are pages and pages of working moms with insulting, sarcastic and nasty comments toward the OP just for asking why they work, maybe your time would be better spent attacking them? Because trust me, you are not hurting my feelings even a tiny bit.

15:45 again. And I don't believe you. You keep coming back so this is definitely getting to you. I wish you would stop being defensive and digging in further and reflect.

I keep coming back, you keep coming back. Hmmm.

I probably won't come back when the few PPs who won't give up finally stop attacking me. Huge double standard, it's okay for you to attack me but not okay for me to disagree with the choices of some working moms. And BTW I didn't decide this question doesn't apply to dads, I think it does. It was the OP who asked the original question, not me.

Just curious also why you think it's okay for so many PPs to be insulting and snarky to the OP but it's me you choose to jump on.

You are the only one claiming you don't care what people think and then coming back to try and defend yourself again and again. Hmmm.

Admit defeat and move on. Better yet, actually consider some of the responses from working moms you have read in this thread and elsewhere and attempt to grow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of odd that a few of you choose to attack me and my relationship with my kids which I told you is close and just fine but perhaps you can't imagine such a thing? I don't know, it's kind of pathetic though. There are pages and pages of working moms with insulting, sarcastic and nasty comments toward the OP just for asking why they work, maybe your time would be better spent attacking them? Because trust me, you are not hurting my feelings even a tiny bit.

I’m a former SAHM whose kids are nearly grown and I think you are off your rocker. As for the comments on your relationship with your kids, yes, I agree you probably think it’s close and fine. Narcissistic, highly judgmental mothers usually do. They cannot see the truth of their relationship with their kids. So, it tracks that you think your relationship is close and fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of odd that a few of you choose to attack me and my relationship with my kids which I told you is close and just fine but perhaps you can't imagine such a thing? I don't know, it's kind of pathetic though. There are pages and pages of working moms with insulting, sarcastic and nasty comments toward the OP just for asking why they work, maybe your time would be better spent attacking them? Because trust me, you are not hurting my feelings even a tiny bit.

15:45 again. And I don't believe you. You keep coming back so this is definitely getting to you. I wish you would stop being defensive and digging in further and reflect.

I keep coming back, you keep coming back. Hmmm.

I probably won't come back when the few PPs who won't give up finally stop attacking me. Huge double standard, it's okay for you to attack me but not okay for me to disagree with the choices of some working moms. And BTW I didn't decide this question doesn't apply to dads, I think it does. It was the OP who asked the original question, not me.

Just curious also why you think it's okay for so many PPs to be insulting and snarky to the OP but it's me you choose to jump on.

I’m not that PP but you’ve been far, far worse than anyone else. That’s why multiple people are responding. And I say that as someone who stayed home and worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of odd that a few of you choose to attack me and my relationship with my kids which I told you is close and just fine but perhaps you can't imagine such a thing? I don't know, it's kind of pathetic though. There are pages and pages of working moms with insulting, sarcastic and nasty comments toward the OP just for asking why they work, maybe your time would be better spent attacking them? Because trust me, you are not hurting my feelings even a tiny bit.

15:45 again. And I don't believe you. You keep coming back so this is definitely getting to you. I wish you would stop being defensive and digging in further and reflect.

I keep coming back, you keep coming back. Hmmm.

I probably won't come back when the few PPs who won't give up finally stop attacking me. Huge double standard, it's okay for you to attack me but not okay for me to disagree with the choices of some working moms. And BTW I didn't decide this question doesn't apply to dads, I think it does. It was the OP who asked the original question, not me.

Just curious also why you think it's okay for so many PPs to be insulting and snarky to the OP but it's me you choose to jump on.

You’re not being jumped on. You’re being wrong. Loudly, repeatedly, and verifiably wrong.

When someone tells you 2+2 doesn’t equal five, they’re not hurting you. You can either learn that it equals four, or you can keep loudly insisting that it equals five. But when another person— and another, and another— tells you it equals four, you’re still not some kind of victim of the math Illuminati— you’re just another person who is wrong.

Brilliantly said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of odd that a few of you choose to attack me and my relationship with my kids which I told you is close and just fine but perhaps you can't imagine such a thing? I don't know, it's kind of pathetic though. There are pages and pages of working moms with insulting, sarcastic and nasty comments toward the OP just for asking why they work, maybe your time would be better spent attacking them? Because trust me, you are not hurting my feelings even a tiny bit.

15:45 again. And I don't believe you. You keep coming back so this is definitely getting to you. I wish you would stop being defensive and digging in further and reflect.

I keep coming back, you keep coming back. Hmmm.

I probably won't come back when the few PPs who won't give up finally stop attacking me. Huge double standard, it's okay for you to attack me but not okay for me to disagree with the choices of some working moms. And BTW I didn't decide this question doesn't apply to dads, I think it does. It was the OP who asked the original question, not me.

Just curious also why you think it's okay for so many PPs to be insulting and snarky to the OP but it's me you choose to jump on.

You’re not being jumped on. You’re being wrong. Loudly, repeatedly, and verifiably wrong.

When someone tells you 2+2 doesn’t equal five, they’re not hurting you. You can either learn that it equals four, or you can keep loudly insisting that it equals five. But when another person— and another, and another— tells you it equals four, you’re still not some kind of victim of the math Illuminati— you’re just another person who is wrong.

Brilliantly said.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

+1. I cook, plan our social calendar and the kids’ activities, order stuff for the house etc. when they sleep/go to school. I occasionally work out. I am never bored! I think it takes a boring person to be bored, but to each their own.

Its really ok to admit if you are bored some times. I WOHM and have plenty of time at work where I'm bored during conference call, etc. Also, I also do all those things you mentioned, I WOHM, that's called being a parent, regardless of pay status outside the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of odd that a few of you choose to attack me and my relationship with my kids which I told you is close and just fine but perhaps you can't imagine such a thing? I don't know, it's kind of pathetic though. There are pages and pages of working moms with insulting, sarcastic and nasty comments toward the OP just for asking why they work, maybe your time would be better spent attacking them? Because trust me, you are not hurting my feelings even a tiny bit.

15:45 again. And I don't believe you. You keep coming back so this is definitely getting to you. I wish you would stop being defensive and digging in further and reflect.

I keep coming back, you keep coming back. Hmmm.

I probably won't come back when the few PPs who won't give up finally stop attacking me. Huge double standard, it's okay for you to attack me but not okay for me to disagree with the choices of some working moms. And BTW I didn't decide this question doesn't apply to dads, I think it does. It was the OP who asked the original question, not me.

Just curious also why you think it's okay for so many PPs to be insulting and snarky to the OP but it's me you choose to jump on.

You’re not being jumped on. You’re being wrong. Loudly, repeatedly, and verifiably wrong.

When someone tells you 2+2 doesn’t equal five, they’re not hurting you. You can either learn that it equals four, or you can keep loudly insisting that it equals five. But when another person— and another, and another— tells you it equals four, you’re still not some kind of victim of the math Illuminati— you’re just another person who is wrong.

Well there's no arguing with that! Your closed mindedness and singular focus that tells you that you are right and I am wrong is something you might want to examine. Just because a few working moms on DCUM disagree with me means very little. You may have noticed that most people are staying out of this discussion, it's mostly me and maybe two or three others. That's because it's not as cut and dried in everyone's mind as you seem to think. Many parents, new and otherwise, question whether the best thing for their children is daycare or parent care. There are threads started on DCUM about that all the time.

I notice you ignore all the many comments on this thread that are rude, insulting and nasty when addressing the OP's question Why do you work? Is it really that hard to defend the decision without attacking?

+1

Bunch of shrews! And I have no dog in this fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of odd that a few of you choose to attack me and my relationship with my kids which I told you is close and just fine but perhaps you can't imagine such a thing? I don't know, it's kind of pathetic though. There are pages and pages of working moms with insulting, sarcastic and nasty comments toward the OP just for asking why they work, maybe your time would be better spent attacking them? Because trust me, you are not hurting my feelings even a tiny bit.

15:45 again. And I don't believe you. You keep coming back so this is definitely getting to you. I wish you would stop being defensive and digging in further and reflect.

I keep coming back, you keep coming back. Hmmm.

I probably won't come back when the few PPs who won't give up finally stop attacking me. Huge double standard, it's okay for you to attack me but not okay for me to disagree with the choices of some working moms. And BTW I didn't decide this question doesn't apply to dads, I think it does. It was the OP who asked the original question, not me.

Just curious also why you think it's okay for so many PPs to be insulting and snarky to the OP but it's me you choose to jump on.

You’re not being jumped on. You’re being wrong. Loudly, repeatedly, and verifiably wrong.

When someone tells you 2+2 doesn’t equal five, they’re not hurting you. You can either learn that it equals four, or you can keep loudly insisting that it equals five. But when another person— and another, and another— tells you it equals four, you’re still not some kind of victim of the math Illuminati— you’re just another person who is wrong.

Well there's no arguing with that! Your closed mindedness and singular focus that tells you that you are right and I am wrong is something you might want to examine. Just because a few working moms on DCUM disagree with me means very little. You may have noticed that most people are staying out of this discussion, it's mostly me and maybe two or three others. That's because it's not as cut and dried in everyone's mind as you seem to think. Many parents, new and otherwise, question whether the best thing for their children is daycare or parent care. There are threads started on DCUM about that all the time.

I notice you ignore all the many comments on this thread that are rude, insulting and nasty when addressing the OP's question Why do you work? Is it really that hard to defend the decision without attacking?

+1

Bunch of shrews! And I have no dog in this fight.

Nope. The shrews are people like the OP and the anti-daycare PP (and you, apparently) who criticize mothers for working and never say bupkiss about fathers working. Sexist shrews. You people have no leg to stand on here. Bring your thinking into the 21st century.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of odd that a few of you choose to attack me and my relationship with my kids which I told you is close and just fine but perhaps you can't imagine such a thing? I don't know, it's kind of pathetic though. There are pages and pages of working moms with insulting, sarcastic and nasty comments toward the OP just for asking why they work, maybe your time would be better spent attacking them? Because trust me, you are not hurting my feelings even a tiny bit.

15:45 again. And I don't believe you. You keep coming back so this is definitely getting to you. I wish you would stop being defensive and digging in further and reflect.

I keep coming back, you keep coming back. Hmmm.

I probably won't come back when the few PPs who won't give up finally stop attacking me. Huge double standard, it's okay for you to attack me but not okay for me to disagree with the choices of some working moms. And BTW I didn't decide this question doesn't apply to dads, I think it does. It was the OP who asked the original question, not me.

Just curious also why you think it's okay for so many PPs to be insulting and snarky to the OP but it's me you choose to jump on.

You’re not being jumped on. You’re being wrong. Loudly, repeatedly, and verifiably wrong.

When someone tells you 2+2 doesn’t equal five, they’re not hurting you. You can either learn that it equals four, or you can keep loudly insisting that it equals five. But when another person— and another, and another— tells you it equals four, you’re still not some kind of victim of the math Illuminati— you’re just another person who is wrong.

Well there's no arguing with that! Your closed mindedness and singular focus that tells you that you are right and I am wrong is something you might want to examine. Just because a few working moms on DCUM disagree with me means very little. You may have noticed that most people are staying out of this discussion, it's mostly me and maybe two or three others. That's because it's not as cut and dried in everyone's mind as you seem to think. Many parents, new and otherwise, question whether the best thing for their children is daycare or parent care. There are threads started on DCUM about that all the time.

I notice you ignore all the many comments on this thread that are rude, insulting and nasty when addressing the OP's question Why do you work? Is it really that hard to defend the decision without attacking?

+1

Bunch of shrews! And I have no dog in this fight.

Nope. The shrews are people like the OP and the anti-daycare PP (and you, apparently) who criticize mothers for working and never say bupkiss about fathers working. Sexist shrews. You people have no leg to stand on here. Bring your thinking into the 21st century.

This.

If someone said that stay at home moms were undereducated and underdedicated, because some use their phones around their children and some are child abusers, they would get the same visceral reaction and correction that the anti daycare poster got. Being wrong, and being told you’re wrong, does not mean you’re a victim. That poster was given an excellent example of how to make a gracious apology earlier in the thread and chose to dig in on additional incorrect statements. She has no one to blame but herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

+1. I cook, plan our social calendar and the kids’ activities, order stuff for the house etc. when they sleep/go to school. I occasionally work out. I am never bored! I think it takes a boring person to be bored, but to each their own.

No. Small minds are easily entertained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

+1. I cook, plan our social calendar and the kids’ activities, order stuff for the house etc. when they sleep/go to school. I occasionally work out. I am never bored! I think it takes a boring person to be bored, but to each their own.

No. Small minds are easily entertained.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

+1. I cook, plan our social calendar and the kids’ activities, order stuff for the house etc. when they sleep/go to school. I occasionally work out. I am never bored! I think it takes a boring person to be bored, but to each their own.

Its really ok to admit if you are bored some times. I WOHM and have plenty of time at work where I'm bored during conference call, etc. Also, I also do all those things you mentioned, I WOHM, that's called being a parent, regardless of pay status outside the house.

That’s because sometimes jobs are boring.

Frankly, I get bored sometimes during the summer when my kids are with me all day, and I was bored sometimes when they were little and I was watching them paint water on the sidewalk and watching it dry.

I’m not bored when I’m at home on my own doing whatever I want to do, though. Why would anyone assume that the time I’m alone without my kids is the boring part of my day? Maybe it’s a fantasy about your own importance in the life of your mother?

Oh yes. I’m so bored painting and exercising and engaging in my own life and hobbies. But life really picks up at 3pm when I get to wait in the school pick up line and take Larla to soccer practice!