If you are a working mom, why?

[Anonymous]

Honestly? I'm too smart to be a stay at home mom. Not saying they're dumb. I'm saying my brain needs far more intellectual stimulation then being at home with kids all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you decide to keep working after having your baby(ies)? What made you decide to continue to work? Was it a financial decision?

I am your baby’s heart surgeon. Do you really want me to quit my job?

My baby doesn't need a heart surgeon. But if she ever did, I'd worry about one who has nothing better to do than crow about herself on an anonymous mommy website.

Is your kid ever going to attend school? Then I think she'll need a teacher. Does she ever go to the pediatrician? All they all men at your practice? How about your OB/GYN?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most interesting concept I this thread is the realization that the SAHMs who condemn WOHMs use WOHMs all the time! Their kid’s pediatrician, dentist, teachers, etc.

I never thought about it that way before.

This is a silly argument. WOHMS use other WOHMs too. Nannies, daycare providers, housekeepers, tutors,.etc.

Wow. Just wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

+1. I cook, plan our social calendar and the kids’ activities, order stuff for the house etc. when they sleep/go to school. I occasionally work out. I am never bored! I think it takes a boring person to be bored, but to each their own.

No. Small minds are easily entertained.

+1

-1

Small minds need a lot of input to be entertained, IMO. That’s different than being easily entertained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Well, some people like to be intellectually stimulated. And sitting at home while a kid naps isn't great for that. Maybe you have no idea what you're talking about.

Meh, I like to be mentally stimulated as well - but as someone who has been both a full time sahm and someone who currently works full time with high schoolers - the amount of stress of working far exceeds the amount of mental stimulation occurring. I actually get far more mental stimulation helping my kids with their homework than I do with a full day of my job or when I had more Time for reading when my kids napped. I actually read A TON when my kids were young and I wasn't working. I reread and read all the classics and loved every second of it. Less time to do that now.

People walking around complaining that being a mom to young children isn't "mentally stimulating" enough for them are missing the point. Your job is to use YOUR brain to stimulate THEIR brains. Not just to walk around pompously talking about how boring you find nap time.

I agree with you, but apparently many parents feel that their children are better off spending that time with underpaid, undereducated, under dedicated and often constantly changing daycare workers. Not to say that some daycare workers and situations aren't okay but I much preferred to be my children's primary influence when they were birth to about age 4 with some half day preschool thrown in. I didn't find it boring at all, I had plenty to do to stimulate my mind and theirs and to keep life interesting. Then when they were in school full time I pursued my career. It worked out great, my kids are grown now and they are my evidence that I did the right thing for my family. Certainly not for everyone obviously but kind or ridiculous to assume all SAHMs are going to be bored while the baby takes a nap.

It baffles me that you think the kind of woman with a career worth going back to, who is successful in her field, doesn’t vet her childcare providers. The only point I agree with is that they’re underpaid and that’s why I make it my business to give extremely generous gifts. Undereducated? My daughter’s infant teacher didn’t have a college degree, you’re right. She did have grandchildren, humor, kindness and endless patience. Underdedicated? Not if you’re in a place that values their staff and treats them well. Same about “constantly changing”.

Honestly your views on the people, primarily women, who work in childcare say quite a lot about you. If you want to be hostile to my choice to return to work— or insecure about your choice to stay home— that’s cool. But bashing women who work in childcare in this high cost of living area is a pretty ugly look.

Your anecdotal evidence based on your own childcare providers doesn't actually prove much. I have worked at a daycare center, provided home daycare and know a number of daycare workers. I'm not bashing women who work in childcare centers, I'm talking about who is actually the typical daycare provider (not all) and they are underpaid, they are under educated and staff changes often which indicates under dedicated. I'm not making this up. You can deny it, or you can say your nanny makes great money and has a advanced degree but that doesn't change the demographics of typical daycare providers in this country.

I'm pretty sick of some working moms who act like any idiot can properly care for infants and toddlers. I disagree. For my own kids I felt it was important to provide their early childcare myself. My husband wanted to do it too but he made more money than me so he reluctantly agreed to work but he definitely wanted to stay home with our kids when they were little. I had no problem establishing a career once they were in school.

I think society is paying a price for so many kids being raised by subpar daycare workers. Not ALL kids, but definitely a significant number. You can take that as hostility toward you if you want but I have zero insecurity about my decision to stay home with my kids before they started school. They are adults and they are all the proof I need that I did the right thing.

Careful, your myopia is showing.

[Anonymous]

I would love to SAH, but if I didn't work, I'd have no home to stay in. Or food or clothes.

[Anonymous]

My family needs my paycheck
I am a single mom
My DH is incapable of holding down a well paying job
My job provides the health insurance
I am afraid that my DH will divorce me one day
I don’t like my kids

Pick one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

+1. I cook, plan our social calendar and the kids’ activities, order stuff for the house etc. when they sleep/go to school. I occasionally work out. I am never bored! I think it takes a boring person to be bored, but to each their own.

I spit out my water with this one. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a new poster and have to agree that many nannies and daycare workers are indeed undereducated and under-invested in your child’s well being. Not all, maybe not even most, but plenty. I say this as a newly SAHM who observes on a daily basis what transpires at the park/playground/grocery store. Fortunately, young children are resilient and as long as there is some love and care, they will be fine.

My SIL is a SAHM to her four kids. She's a terrible mom. Her kids would be way better off in daycare or with a nanny or probably anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of odd that a few of you choose to attack me and my relationship with my kids which I told you is close and just fine but perhaps you can't imagine such a thing? I don't know, it's kind of pathetic though. There are pages and pages of working moms with insulting, sarcastic and nasty comments toward the OP just for asking why they work, maybe your time would be better spent attacking them? Because trust me, you are not hurting my feelings even a tiny bit.

15:45 again. And I don't believe you. You keep coming back so this is definitely getting to you. I wish you would stop being defensive and digging in further and reflect.

I keep coming back, you keep coming back. Hmmm.

I probably won't come back when the few PPs who won't give up finally stop attacking me. Huge double standard, it's okay for you to attack me but not okay for me to disagree with the choices of some working moms. And BTW I didn't decide this question doesn't apply to dads, I think it does. It was the OP who asked the original question, not me.

Just curious also why you think it's okay for so many PPs to be insulting and snarky to the OP but it's me you choose to jump on.

Just to be clear, you're ok with working moms if...they don't send their kids to daycare? Just trying to make sure I understand you.

-NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family needs my paycheck
I am a single mom
My DH is incapable of holding down a well paying job
My job provides the health insurance
I am afraid that my DH will divorce me one day
I don’t like my kids

Pick one.

Conversely, I am a SAHM because -
My family does not need my paycheck.
We have a lot of insurance and we are covered for health insurance benefits for life
DH has a great secure job and is also capable of getting other similar well paying job if required.
DH does not feel burdened by being the sole provider.
We have a wonderful marriage and there will never be a divorce
I love being with my kids. I am able to focus on their well being and education more by being at home.
My DH and I want to give every advantage to our kids and having an involved, educated and loving parent home does just that.
I am able to employ others to help with running the household and supervise them. it frees up time for other family members to relax.
I like having a close knit family
We have a home where the family members have less stress because a parent is home.
We are reselient because we have the bandwidth and the infrastructure to handle unanticipated demand on our time.
I do not find the American corporate work environment to be fulfilling or intellectually stimulating.

Pick one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? I'm too smart to be a stay at home mom. Not saying they're dumb. I'm saying my brain needs far more intellectual stimulation then being at home with kids all day.

I have no dog in this fight- I’ve done both- but this is ridiculous. I’ve know Ivy grads, lawyers with degrees from top 5 law schools, phDs, doctors, and former tenured professors who left the workforce to stay at home and find enough intellectual stimulation. If you are well-educated in child development, it can be really interesting to spend all day with children. Also, I have a son with asd, and the best of his therapists are sharper than tacks. I actually marvel that they had the insight in their youth to find child development an interesting field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? I'm too smart to be a stay at home mom. Not saying they're dumb. I'm saying my brain needs far more intellectual stimulation then being at home with kids all day.

I have no dog in this fight- I’ve done both- but this is ridiculous. I’ve know Ivy grads, lawyers with degrees from top 5 law schools, phDs, doctors, and former tenured professors who left the workforce to stay at home and find enough intellectual stimulation. If you are well-educated in child development, it can be really interesting to spend all day with children. Also, I have a son with asd, and the best of his therapists are sharper than tacks. I actually marvel that they had the insight in their youth to find child development an interesting field.

So...they work? Yes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? I'm too smart to be a stay at home mom. Not saying they're dumb. I'm saying my brain needs far more intellectual stimulation then being at home with kids all day.

I have no dog in this fight- I’ve done both- but this is ridiculous. I’ve know Ivy grads, lawyers with degrees from top 5 law schools, phDs, doctors, and former tenured professors who left the workforce to stay at home and find enough intellectual stimulation. If you are well-educated in child development, it can be really interesting to spend all day with children. Also, I have a son with asd, and the best of his therapists are sharper than tacks. I actually marvel that they had the insight in their youth to find child development an interesting field.

Why did they take up a seat in those competitive top 5 schools to just stay at home then?

[Anonymous]

The war on women coming out on this page from other women is astounding, but, I suppose, not surprising.

Why does everyone assume the husband has to be the breadwinner? My career is important to me, I provide for my household, and I’m giving back to the community. Women should be given opportunities to work if they want- the fact that we can’t, or can’t make as much money as men, is just the tip of the iceberg.