If you are a working mom, why?

Anonymous
Because working is in the best long term financial interest of our family, and it would be hard to get back into it after taking a break to raise small kids. I wfh and have some flexibility
Anonymous
Because I genuinely enjoy my work and find it intellectually satisfying, my job provides the greater part of our income, I like my colleagues, etc. So many reasons! I have been with my employer for a decade and am fortunate to have some flexibility which allows me to also prioritize my kids and their schedules.
Anonymous
My work is fun and flexible, and I get to make the world a bit better with my skills/knowledge. I don't make much money, but if needed, my work experience will allow me to shift into a more profitable position.

I also enjoy my kids and get to spend time with them.
Anonymous
I work due to finances and also because I enjoy my job and the challenges it presents. I love my children more than life, but I also want to be a good role model for them and demonstrate independence and professional capability as a human being. I also worked very hard to build a career before they were born and it feels like I’m shortchanging our whole family if I walk away from that and martyr myself. Finally, I truly believe you can be both and excellent mother and have an excellent career, and I’m determined to do both. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is OP a troll or just dumb? The reasons mothers work are well understood - and well documented. It’s not rocket science…

If iOP really is unsure of why women work, the studies on the positive aspects of having a working mom are really going to blow their mind.



Show me the studies that show the positive aspects of having a working mom outside of low income and single parent families having a higher family income.

People always mention these studies, but I don’t believe they actually exist.


Babe just freaking Google it. Literally the first result: “ A 2010 meta-analysis of 69 studies over 50 years found that in general, children whose mothers worked when they were young had no major learning, behavior or social problems, and tended to be high achievers in school and have less depression and anxiety.”
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is OP a troll or just dumb? The reasons mothers work are well understood - and well documented. It’s not rocket science…

If iOP really is unsure of why women work, the studies on the positive aspects of having a working mom are really going to blow their mind.



Show me the studies that show the positive aspects of having a working mom outside of low income and single parent families having a higher family income.

People always mention these studies, but I don’t believe they actually exist.


Babe just freaking Google it. Literally the first result: “ A 2010 meta-analysis of 69 studies over 50 years found that in general, children whose mothers worked when they were young had no major learning, behavior or social problems, and tended to be high achievers in school and have less depression and anxiety.”


Girls raised by working mothers make more money than girls raised by SAHM’s, and are more likely to hold leadership and supervisory roles. Even cooler— boys raised by working mothers are more likely to take on more household responsibilities.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0950017018760167#.WwxcIdoRW9Q.twitter


Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is OP a troll or just dumb? The reasons mothers work are well understood - and well documented. It’s not rocket science…

If iOP really is unsure of why women work, the studies on the positive aspects of having a working mom are really going to blow their mind.



Show me the studies that show the positive aspects of having a working mom outside of low income and single parent families having a higher family income.

People always mention these studies, but I don’t believe they actually exist.


Babe just freaking Google it. Literally the first result: “ A 2010 meta-analysis of 69 studies over 50 years found that in general, children whose mothers worked when they were young had no major learning, behavior or social problems, and tended to be high achievers in school and have less depression and anxiety.”


Uhmm…do you want to share the rest of that 2010 analysis?

“ ...moderator analyses indicated that early maternal employment was associated with beneficial child outcomes when families were at risk socioeconomically, particularly in the context of families with single parents and on welfare; these findings support the compensatory hypothesis of employment for these families (e.g., NICHD Early Child Care Research Network, 2003).…

…. In contrast, other analyses indicated that employment was associated with negative child outcomes when families were not at risk financially (i.e., when families were middle or upper-middle class); these findings support the lost-resources hypothesis for these types of families (e.g., NICHD Early Child Care Research Network, 2003).”
Anonymous
Because my mom worked and her mom worked and and husbands mom worked. The notion that women stay home and not work is very recent and a short time where recently industrialized nations had jobs that paid certain men enough so women would have to work. Women always worked, farmed, took in laundry, cooked and preserved and sold excess as well as did all house work and reared kids. Luckily my labor is very well paid now and i will retire at 55 and do more in my community.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is OP a troll or just dumb? The reasons mothers work are well understood - and well documented. It’s not rocket science…

If iOP really is unsure of why women work, the studies on the positive aspects of having a working mom are really going to blow their mind.



Show me the studies that show the positive aspects of having a working mom outside of low income and single parent families having a higher family income.

People always mention these studies, but I don’t believe they actually exist.


Babe just freaking Google it. Literally the first result: “ A 2010 meta-analysis of 69 studies over 50 years found that in general, children whose mothers worked when they were young had no major learning, behavior or social problems, and tended to be high achievers in school and have less depression and anxiety.”


Uhmm…do you want to share the rest of that 2010 analysis?

“ ...moderator analyses indicated that early maternal employment was associated with beneficial child outcomes when families were at risk socioeconomically, particularly in the context of families with single parents and on welfare; these findings support the compensatory hypothesis of employment for these families (e.g., NICHD Early Child Care Research Network, 2003).…

…. In contrast, other analyses indicated that employment was associated with negative child outcomes when families were not at risk financially (i.e., when families were middle or upper-middle class); these findings support the lost-resources hypothesis for these types of families (e.g., NICHD Early Child Care Research Network, 2003).”


You are both cherry-picking academic literature that neither of you either fully understand. Neither of you have read or understand the source studies (which are often poorly designed with barely-sufficient or insufficient statistical structure).

There is no bulk of good, well-designed studies that is going to give you incontrovertible evidence that your pre-decided personal biases on SAH vs WOH are the right ones to hold. You both sound silly claiming that science supports your positions. It simply doesn’t.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why did you decide to keep working after having your baby(ies)? What made you decide to continue to work? Was it a financial decision?


I am your baby’s heart surgeon. Do you really want me to quit my job?


My baby doesn't need a heart surgeon. But if she ever did, I'd worry about one who has nothing better to do than crow about herself on an anonymous mommy website.


Meh. I worry about the SAHM who has nothing better to do than crow about herself on an anonymous website. Why aren't you taking care of your kids?
Anonymous
My big why - if women aren't in the workforce, men will be running everything, making the decisions, shaping the world we live in - and that's not good for my daughters.

That being said, SAH and WOH both suck for me. As a SAHM I missed having a deeper purpose in life, and as a WOHM I desperately missed my kids. As a SAHM I had to beg my H for money, and as a WOHM I had to beg my H to help with the kids. I'll be damned if I ever have to do those again.

What has worked well for me is I started my own business WAH and hired a nanny. So I get the rewards of work and financial security, and I get to see and play with my babies throughout the day, plus I have all the flexibility I need for family life.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My big why - if women aren't in the workforce, men will be running everything, making the decisions, shaping the world we live in - and that's not good for my daughters.

That being said, SAH and WOH both suck for me. As a SAHM I missed having a deeper purpose in life, and as a WOHM I desperately missed my kids. As a SAHM I had to beg my H for money, and as a WOHM I had to beg my H to help with the kids. I'll be damned if I ever have to do those again.

What has worked well for me is I started my own business WAH and hired a nanny. So I get the rewards of work and financial security, and I get to see and play with my babies throughout the day, plus I have all the flexibility I need for family life.


I think it would be very hard to find anybody who thinks women should not be in the workforce. The issue is what is the best start for children when they are infants and toddlers, before they start school full time at about age 5. Many parents, not just women, believe their children will get a better start in life and have a better daily experience with a loving parent home caring for them during those early years. Some parents don't believe that, they think paid childcare is just as good as parent care. Each family has to decide for themselves what they believe, what they can afford, and what the whole family will benefit most from.

Your solution sounds well thought out and clearly works well for you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My big why - if women aren't in the workforce, men will be running everything, making the decisions, shaping the world we live in - and that's not good for my daughters.

That being said, SAH and WOH both suck for me. As a SAHM I missed having a deeper purpose in life, and as a WOHM I desperately missed my kids. As a SAHM I had to beg my H for money, and as a WOHM I had to beg my H to help with the kids. I'll be damned if I ever have to do those again.

What has worked well for me is I started my own business WAH and hired a nanny. So I get the rewards of work and financial security, and I get to see and play with my babies throughout the day, plus I have all the flexibility I need for family life.


I think it would be very hard to find anybody who thinks women should not be in the workforce. The issue is what is the best start for children when they are infants and toddlers, before they start school full time at about age 5. Many parents, not just women, believe their children will get a better start in life and have a better daily experience with a loving parent home caring for them during those early years. Some parents don't believe that, they think paid childcare is just as good as parent care. Each family has to decide for themselves what they believe, what they can afford, and what the whole family will benefit most from.

Your solution sounds well thought out and clearly works well for you.


It’s cute to say women “belong in the workforce” and then advocate for 5+ year gaps in their professional careers. I certainly wouldn’t let a surgeon touch me who hadn’t held a scalpel in five years. So by “women belong in the workforce” what you mean is “women belong in subservient, lesser roles, even in the workplace”

No thanks.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My big why - if women aren't in the workforce, men will be running everything, making the decisions, shaping the world we live in - and that's not good for my daughters.

That being said, SAH and WOH both suck for me. As a SAHM I missed having a deeper purpose in life, and as a WOHM I desperately missed my kids. As a SAHM I had to beg my H for money, and as a WOHM I had to beg my H to help with the kids. I'll be damned if I ever have to do those again.

What has worked well for me is I started my own business WAH and hired a nanny. So I get the rewards of work and financial security, and I get to see and play with my babies throughout the day, plus I have all the flexibility I need for family life.


I think it would be very hard to find anybody who thinks women should not be in the workforce. The issue is what is the best start for children when they are infants and toddlers, before they start school full time at about age 5. Many parents, not just women, believe their children will get a better start in life and have a better daily experience with a loving parent home caring for them during those early years. Some parents don't believe that, they think paid childcare is just as good as parent care. Each family has to decide for themselves what they believe, what they can afford, and what the whole family will benefit most from.

Your solution sounds well thought out and clearly works well for you.


It’s cute to say women “belong in the workforce” and then advocate for 5+ year gaps in their professional careers. I certainly wouldn’t let a surgeon touch me who hadn’t held a scalpel in five years. So by “women belong in the workforce” what you mean is “women belong in subservient, lesser roles, even in the workplace”

No thanks.


I’m in a high-ranking position and would have been screwed by taking several years off.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is OP a troll or just dumb? The reasons mothers work are well understood - and well documented. It’s not rocket science…

If iOP really is unsure of why women work, the studies on the positive aspects of having a working mom are really going to blow their mind.



Show me the studies that show the positive aspects of having a working mom outside of low income and single parent families having a higher family income.

People always mention these studies, but I don’t believe they actually exist.


Babe just freaking Google it. Literally the first result: “ A 2010 meta-analysis of 69 studies over 50 years found that in general, children whose mothers worked when they were young had no major learning, behavior or social problems, and tended to be high achievers in school and have less depression and anxiety.”


Uhmm…do you want to share the rest of that 2010 analysis?

“ ...moderator analyses indicated that early maternal employment was associated with beneficial child outcomes when families were at risk socioeconomically, particularly in the context of families with single parents and on welfare; these findings support the compensatory hypothesis of employment for these families (e.g., NICHD Early Child Care Research Network, 2003).…

…. In contrast, other analyses indicated that employment was associated with negative child outcomes when families were not at risk financially (i.e., when families were middle or upper-middle class); these findings support the lost-resources hypothesis for these types of families (e.g., NICHD Early Child Care Research Network, 2003).”


You are both cherry-picking academic literature that neither of you either fully understand. Neither of you have read or understand the source studies (which are often poorly designed with barely-sufficient or insufficient statistical structure).

There is no bulk of good, well-designed studies that is going to give you incontrovertible evidence that your pre-decided personal biases on SAH vs WOH are the right ones to hold. You both sound silly claiming that science supports your positions. It simply doesn’t.


+1
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