Brain fog, mood swings, bloating #$%&menopause

[Anonymous]

I just turned 50. I thought I'd finally hit menopause when my periods stopped six months ago. I was feeling OK, but whamo, I got a period about six weeks ago, and I have turned into a moody, forgetful, raging monster! Where did my sanity go? I can't cope with the slightest change -- schedule, weather (Sandy almost killed me, and it barely affected us!) lost items, appointment making, errands, you name it. I can't sleep more than five hours, can't even eat properly because I'm bloated much of the time. Has this happened to you? Did it pass? The past six weeks have been hell! I thought I'd made it to menopause relatively unscathed. I'd had years of irregular and lite periods, a year or so of hot flashes, broken sleep, but nothing like this.

Any empathy or advice, most appreciated. I'm an older mom with mostly younger friends (same age kids), so none of my friends can relate to this!

[Anonymous]

light exercise helps

[Anonymous]

Yes, I have been going through what you've described for 4 years now. Haven't slept much for years. I'm doing perimenopause cold turkey. The forgetfulness and brain fog makes me feel so dumb. I am also impatient, and I thought I was the carefree one. Well anyway, I started doing zumba a few months ago, it has worked wonders for my mental health. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life, but I am starting to feel I am in the tail end of the perimenopause trainweck. A friend of mine started a full on affair(she found herself in a perfect storm situation - guy took advantage of her momentarily vulnerability) while going through this and has done irreparable damage to her family. It's a midlife crises, a reverse puberty of sort. We don't discuss this openly enough and we feel alone. Good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I have been going through what you've described for 4 years now. Haven't slept much for years. I'm doing perimenopause cold turkey. The forgetfulness and brain fog makes me feel so dumb. I am also impatient, and I thought I was the carefree one. Well anyway, I started doing zumba a few months ago, it has worked wonders for my mental health. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life, but I am starting to feel I am in the tail end of the perimenopause trainweck. A friend of mine started a full on affair(she found herself in a perfect storm situation - guy took advantage of her momentarily vulnerability) while going through this and has done irreparable damage to her family. It's a midlife crises, a reverse puberty of sort. We don't discuss this openly enough and we feel alone. Good luck

OP here. Thanks for this response, PP. Yes, it feels just horrible, and NO ONE ever mentions it. I've told DH how I feel, and he looks at me like, "Huh?".

I exercise a little, walking mostly, but don't have time or the ability to focus enough to go to the gym or schedule tennis matches a few times a week. Walking is just there, so I do it whenever I get the chance. I'll look into zumba, but don't know if I could manage it. Someone gave me "Menopause without Medicine," but I can't focus enough to read it! Brain fog is the worst of it. I used to be focused and intelligent with a memory that wouldn't quit. Now I can't remember anything. Is this early Alzheimer's? I wondered about this when I was awake from 2-7 a.m. this morning. I napped from 7 to 7:15 when DH's alarm woke me up. I will NOT survive four years of this!! How did you do it, PP? I SAH, so that's worse, as I have no job to focus my time, aside from all the usual kid stuff which is overwhelming me every second of the day. I don't have the energy for an affair, so there's no danger of that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I have been going through what you've described for 4 years now. Haven't slept much for years. I'm doing perimenopause cold turkey. The forgetfulness and brain fog makes me feel so dumb. I am also impatient, and I thought I was the carefree one. Well anyway, I started doing zumba a few months ago, it has worked wonders for my mental health. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life, but I am starting to feel I am in the tail end of the perimenopause trainweck. A friend of mine started a full on affair(she found herself in a perfect storm situation - guy took advantage of her momentarily vulnerability) while going through this and has done irreparable damage to her family. It's a midlife crises, a reverse puberty of sort. We don't discuss this openly enough and we feel alone. Good luck

OP here. Thanks for this response, PP. Yes, it feels just horrible, and NO ONE ever mentions it. I've told DH how I feel, and he looks at me like, "Huh?".

I exercise a little, walking mostly, but don't have time or the ability to focus enough to go to the gym or schedule tennis matches a few times a week. Walking is just there, so I do it whenever I get the chance. I'll look into zumba, but don't know if I could manage it. Someone gave me "Menopause without Medicine," but I can't focus enough to read it! Brain fog is the worst of it. I used to be focused and intelligent with a memory that wouldn't quit. Now I can't remember anything. Is this early Alzheimer's? I wondered about this when I was awake from 2-7 a.m. this morning. I napped from 7 to 7:15 when DH's alarm woke me up. I will NOT survive four years of this!! How did you do it, PP? I SAH, so that's worse, as I have no job to focus my time, aside from all the usual kid stuff which is overwhelming me every second of the day. I don't have the energy for an affair, so there's no danger of that!

I am the pp you're responding to. The other hard part of dealing with this perimenopause maze, no minefield is feeling like you carrying a secret, people simply don't want to discuss menopause, even people on this board - menopause questions get very little response. Most of the women my age I interact with are trying to keep the aging clock at bay, so the last thing they want to do is acknowledge or discuss the possibility of menopause in an meaningful way. The few times that I've casually mentioned the possibility that I might be going through menopause to a couple of friends, they cringed, so I stopped. It is a very lonely period of time for women I think, at least for me it is. The physical symptoms are horrible, the mental, psychological, emotional are also horrible. This has been the loneliest period of my life. I decided I needed my husband's help and understanding, I printed a list of the menopausal symptoms and handed to him and insist he reads it. He tries to be understanding but then he often say, "I think you've been going through menopause the whole time(18years) I've known you," ha ha. Anyway OP, this is not an easy life process you're going through. Our social environment is not setup to support it right now, at least not openly. With our youth focus society, no one wants to acknowledge or feel they are not viable. Zumba has help me a great deal recently. I only started doing it 3 months ago, it has worked wonders for my mental health, and it helps as well that 2/3 of the class is over 35 and are somewhat awkward doing the routines as I am. The best thing though I think is talk therapy. Having a patient and understanding friend(tall order I know) to talk to could do wonders. Like everything else mental, psychological and physical having understanding is extremely helpful. You need to get out, volunteer, get social - though you may get frustrated with the quality of the social interaction - remember too, you're less patient now. Anxiety is another issue. But you've have no choice outside of getting out there and live life, or you'll just sit there and get wilted. You will have to put yourself first. You have to attempt a lifestyle change, if you can manage it. Hang in there, I've read the other side of it all is oh so sweet. You're not alone, hope the following links helps. good luck.

Why DO so many women pretend the menopause doesn't exist?


Yes, the menopause is hell. But when it's over you feel sexier than ever!

[Anonymous]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2115112/Yes-menopause-hell-But-feel-sexier-ever.html

[Anonymous]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2172274/Why-DO-women-pretend-menopause-doesnt-exist.html

[Anonymous]

I'm on the other side of it - not having a period is so wonderful! Hang in there - you will make it through!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks 15:17 for the detailed response. I was thinking that exact same thing this morning as I was lying in bed, too exhausted to get up, after a night of broken sleep. I feel utterly wretched, yet look no different (ya, older), and none of my friends wants to acknowledge this change of life thing. My very best friend in the world (who has a boyfriend, and looks 10+ years younger than I do) will not even mention it, just ignores questions about it (she lives in another state), seems to pretend it doesn't exist. My child's lacrosse coach told me it was hell going through it, but she's the only one. When I mention it to women who are about my age, every last one of them brushes it off. Why is this? Does everyone forget about it? I'm cranky, tired, bloated, depressed, anxious, hot, cold, usually all these things at once. Maybe it's the brain fog that makes everyone forget about it, like the pain of childbirth??

Thanks, 14:47 for mentioning that there's another side. Does your memory come back? Do you feel less anxious? Are you able to function more or less normally, i.e. multi-task the way you used to when you were in your 20s and 30s and 40s? I feel like an old, doddering woman now, unable to run more than one errand at a time, not able to stay focused on a task, not able to finish anything, getting overwhelmed by ordinary things, like washing my hair or feeding the dog!! I need total concentration to make dinner, and if I get interrupted, I get confused and forget something, or abandon the entire enterprise, and DH has to finish making dinner. Is this what it's like for everyone?

[Anonymous]

14:47 here. I was lucky - I did not have hot flashes. I did have bad insomnia for quite a few years. I took Benedryl for insomnia and have cut way back on that. I do feel much more with it now, but that may be the backing off on Benedryl which can cause cognitive impairment. I feel much better on the other side, but I never felt nearly as bad as you describe.

I do think some women try to ignore menopause, but keep in mind that not all women have the same symptoms and some truly have no symptoms at all. As I said, I never had hot flashes. Insomnia was my main symptom.

Have you described your symptoms to your doctor? I wonder if a nutritionist could help you? I had been taking Evening Primrose tablets for years (for something not related to menopause). My ob-gyn said that my lack of hot flashes might relate to my taking of that.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,
I turn 50 tomorrow so this is my first post in this forum. I also am dealing with menopause. I've had sleep issues, anxiety, bloating/weight gain, cravings, multitasking fog and lack of concentration, and periods that went on for 60 days. I finally had a biopsy just to make sure it wasn't cancer.

For me, the fog is sort of never being fully present, never being fully "on." Even doing something that makes me really happy or engaged I don't stick with mentally. Pretty soon I'm just making lists in my head, even as a dear friend tells me something important. My job takes so much of my mental and emotional energy that I don't have very much left for anything else. The rest goes to my kid and then after that it's downhill. I forget things a lot more, I can't execute like I used to. I used to be so smart! I do think I'm more confident in some ways and more self-aware, but much less organized.

OP, your fog sounds very intense. Have you considered that you might have previously undiagnosed ADD? My spouse I think is experiencing something similar-- he was always in a routine and I think his ADD was more or less covered up. Now it's more freelancing and less consistent day to day activities and he's pretty lost. He forgets stuff all the time unless it's something he really cares about (his own hobby). Anyway, good luck, I wish you the best. I'm sure it will end at some point!