Reply to Brain fog, mood swings, bloating #$%&menopause

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, I have been going through what you've described for 4 years now. Haven't slept much for years. I'm doing perimenopause cold turkey. The forgetfulness and brain fog makes me feel so dumb. I am also impatient, and I thought I was the carefree one. Well anyway, I started doing zumba a few months ago, it has worked wonders for my mental health. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life, but I am starting to feel I am in the tail end of the perimenopause trainweck. A friend of mine started a full on affair(she found herself in a perfect storm situation - guy took advantage of her momentarily vulnerability) while going through this and has done irreparable damage to her family. It's a midlife crises, a reverse puberty of sort. We don't discuss this openly enough and we feel alone.  Good luck
[/quote]

OP here. Thanks for this response, PP. Yes, it feels just horrible, and NO ONE ever mentions it. I've told DH how I feel, and he looks at me like, "Huh?".

I exercise a little, walking mostly, but don't have time or the ability to focus enough to go to the gym or schedule tennis matches a few times a week. Walking is just there, so I do it whenever I get the chance. I'll look into zumba, but don't know if I could manage it. Someone gave me "Menopause without Medicine," but I can't focus enough to read it! Brain fog is the worst of it. I used to be focused and intelligent with a memory that wouldn't quit. Now I can't remember anything. Is this early Alzheimer's? I wondered about this when I was awake from 2-7 a.m. this morning. I napped from 7 to 7:15 when DH's alarm woke me up. I will NOT survive four years of this!! How did you do it, PP? I SAH, so that's worse, as I have no job to focus my time, aside from all the usual kid stuff which is overwhelming me every second of the day. I don't have the energy for an affair, so there's no danger of that![/quote]

I am the pp you're responding to. The other hard part of dealing with this perimenopause maze, no minefield is feeling like you carrying a secret, people simply don't want to discuss menopause, even people on this board - menopause questions get very little response. Most of the women my age I interact with are trying to keep the aging clock at bay, so the last thing they want to do is acknowledge or discuss the possibility of menopause in an meaningful way. The few times that I've casually mentioned the possibility that I might be going through menopause to a couple of friends, they cringed, so I stopped. It is a very lonely period of time for women I think, at least for me it is. The physical symptoms are horrible, the mental, psychological, emotional are also horrible. This has been the loneliest period of my life. I decided I needed my husband's help and understanding, I printed a list of the menopausal symptoms and handed to him and insist he reads it. He tries to be understanding but then he often say, "I think you've been going through menopause the whole time(18years) I've known you," ha ha. Anyway OP, this is not an easy life process you're going through. Our social environment is not setup to support it right now, at least not openly. With our youth focus society, no one wants to acknowledge or feel they are not viable. Zumba has help me a great deal recently. I only started doing it 3 months ago, it has worked wonders for my mental health, and it helps as well that 2/3 of the class is over 35 and are somewhat awkward doing the routines as I am. The best thing though I think is talk therapy. Having a patient and understanding friend(tall order I know) to talk to could do wonders. Like everything else mental, psychological and physical having understanding is extremely helpful. You need to get out, volunteer, get social - though you may get frustrated with the quality of the social interaction - remember too, you're less patient now. Anxiety is another issue. But you've have no choice outside of getting out there and live life, or you'll just sit there and get wilted. You will have to put yourself first. You have to attempt a lifestyle change, if you can manage it. Hang in there, I've read the other side of it all is oh so sweet. You're not alone, hope the following links helps. good luck.

Why DO so many women pretend the menopause doesn't exist?

Yes, the menopause is hell. But when it's over you feel sexier than ever!
 [/quote]

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