Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m conceding on the Chick-fil-A.

Here’s another example. DH texts and says he’s ordering pizza and what would we like. I say I’ll share DS’s cheese pizza. DD and her bf each order their own. Ok fine (I’m thinking why can’t they share but ok). The bf chooses the most expensive pizza. DD says can we also get xx appetizer and cinnamon pull apartment. I’m thinking ok that’s fine we will share that. And then the bf chimes in and requests ANOTHER appetizer on top of what DD has requested.

Ok and here’s a Taco Bell order: “1 beefy fritos burrito and 1 shredded chicken burrito please, Also, can we do the party pack with the 5 layer burritos in the mix instead of the bean burritos”

I mean, is this really normal?

It sounds like he’s following your daughter’s lead. Are you complaining about her, too?

[Anonymous]

your DD never said anything to the boyfriend? He may not know how your family’s budget, usual takeout orders look like but she does

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m conceding on the Chick-fil-A.

Here’s another example. DH texts and says he’s ordering pizza and what would we like. I say I’ll share DS’s cheese pizza. DD and her bf each order their own. Ok fine (I’m thinking why can’t they share but ok). The bf chooses the most expensive pizza. DD says can we also get xx appetizer and cinnamon pull apartment. I’m thinking ok that’s fine we will share that. And then the bf chimes in and requests ANOTHER appetizer on top of what DD has requested.

Ok and here’s a Taco Bell order: “1 beefy fritos burrito and 1 shredded chicken burrito please, Also, can we do the party pack with the 5 layer burritos in the mix instead of the bean burritos”

I mean, is this really normal?

It sounds like he’s following your daughter’s lead. Are you complaining about her, too?

Op, tell him you will all share the appetizer and cinna sticks or whatever. Or, make it clear what you mean. "What kind of pizza do you want? " Skip the extras.

[Anonymous]

Ds's girlfriend follows our lead. She also helps clean up and brings us coffee occasionally.

This guy needs to clue in. Or OP needs to just cook a meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m conceding on the Chick-fil-A.

Here’s another example. DH texts and says he’s ordering pizza and what would we like. I say I’ll share DS’s cheese pizza. DD and her bf each order their own. Ok fine (I’m thinking why can’t they share but ok). The bf chooses the most expensive pizza. DD says can we also get xx appetizer and cinnamon pull apartment. I’m thinking ok that’s fine we will share that. And then the bf chimes in and requests ANOTHER appetizer on top of what DD has requested.

Ok and here’s a Taco Bell order: “1 beefy fritos burrito and 1 shredded chicken burrito please, Also, can we do the party pack with the 5 layer burritos in the mix instead of the bean burritos”

I mean, is this really normal?

It sounds like he’s following your daughter’s lead. Are you complaining about her, too?

Daughter is not equal to boyfriend. A respectful self-aware young man should know the difference and not take advantage of his hosts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with others: set parameters--no desserts and no drinks.

But he's a grown young man and they are hungry a lot. So if he ordered two mains I'd be okay with that. The other stuff, appetizers etc, are not worth the money.

My brother is 6 ft 2 and he's now 58 y.o. He eats two mains. I remember once being annoyed when I was treating him, years ago, but the man needs to eat!

Where does this end, though? If the boyfriend wanted to order three entrees, is OP honestly expected to pay for them cheerfully, with not a whisper of annoyance? What about four entrees?

If I had a huge appetite, I’d order like the other people in the party, then take responsibility for feeding myself until satiated a bit later. He is not a hostage in her home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably never thought about it. His family probably has enough money that when they order, they just order, and he’s also a young man who could probably eat the entire contents of your refrigerator. At a restaurant, an appetizer, entree, and dessert aren’t that gluttonous, so it’s not the worst thing he could do. Your kind of expecting him to order like a perpetually dieting female.

But if the money is an issue, then direct the ordering like a PP suggested.

+1
Also, I think it's rude that you are judging what a guest (a kid years younger than you!) eats at your place.

As long as she doesn’t say anything about it, she is fulfilling her role as a gracious host. She orders and pays for the food he requests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s not being rude. He’s ordering what is a meal for him. I have two college aged boys and trust me, he is not ordering too much. Also, how is he supposed to know that cost is an issue if you or your daughter don’t tell the boy? Tell him things are tight right now - ask if he could chip in or tell him that you are only ordering entrees tonight. He can’t read your mind!

You’ve reared your children poorly if they don’t know to follow the ordering cues of the host, and when in doubt, order less. I’m honestly shocked that anyone is defending this abysmal behavior. If I were the host, I’d not say anything to the child, of course, as that would be bad manners, but anyone who did this would not be invited back to my home and I’d think poorly of their parents.

An adult male in college is not a “child.” He should at the very least be offering to pitch in, if not pay his own way.

+1000
Cannot believe how many people pay for their daughter’s boyfriends.

Hosts pay for dinner. I pay for my adult friends. I pay for my parents when they come by. I can't imagine hitting up a guest for the cost of a Taco Bell dinner. That's incredibly impolite.

It sounds like he is a “guest” multiple times a week. Do your adult friends swing by and expect to be fed that frequently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m conceding on the Chick-fil-A.

Here’s another example. DH texts and says he’s ordering pizza and what would we like. I say I’ll share DS’s cheese pizza. DD and her bf each order their own. Ok fine (I’m thinking why can’t they share but ok). The bf chooses the most expensive pizza. DD says can we also get xx appetizer and cinnamon pull apartment. I’m thinking ok that’s fine we will share that. And then the bf chimes in and requests ANOTHER appetizer on top of what DD has requested.

Ok and here’s a Taco Bell order: “1 beefy fritos burrito and 1 shredded chicken burrito please, Also, can we do the party pack with the 5 layer burritos in the mix instead of the bean burritos”

I mean, is this really normal?

It sounds like he’s following your daughter’s lead. Are you complaining about her, too?

Daughter is not equal to boyfriend. A respectful self-aware young man should know the difference and not take advantage of his hosts.

When it comes to manners, OP should focus more of her concern on her daughter’s than her guest’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was camp OP first but now I have a question.
Is her DS happy about having to share his pizza with mom?
And what is a cinnamon pull apartment?!

Who eats an ENTIRE pizza by themselves?

20 year old boys.

Mine don't actually and I am the mom of the kids who eat 4500 cal a day.
I am talking large pizza. They would eat half so 4 or 5 slices.

I have an 11-yo daughter, athlete, 4’11, slender/muscular, who eats four slices of a large pizza when we buy one. I imagine a lot of bigger boys eat more!

I don’t think these are super huge pizzas if OP’s daughter is requesting one for herself.

[Anonymous]

OP, time to start tasking your DD and her boyfriend with taking care of dinner once or twice a week. They can either pay or cook.

[Anonymous]

Also, have some supplemental food around so if he’s really still hungry after eating whatever takeout you get, he can eat something supplemental (bowl of cereal, apple, etc.). But it’s nice that your DD has a boyfriend she likes and that they are home with you. I get being irritated by the cluelessness, but it’s very likely being clueless and not brought up properly.

[Anonymous]

The cheaper take out meal is one thing, but the more expensive one, particularly over time, is something I'd address. I am pretty confident that your daughter's BF has no idea that he's being rude so I wouldn't come down too hard on him. Something simple like "since Covid happened we are doing take out enough that we're limiting ourselves a bit. What entree do you want? We'll be sharing appetizers and skipping desserts."

[Anonymous]

I have not read all 19 pages. Are they eating all the food they order? My 20 year old son eats his own large pizza. We did not realize it till he left for college. I would rather order out less than get involved with rules on what anyone can/should order. You could also try...I have ice cream for dessert so no need to order one kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been doing a lot of takeout. We love having our college daughter home but when we order dinner for her bf, he really seems to treat himself. When I got Chick-fil-A the other night, he gets a combo plus another full sandwich. Tonight we are getting Thai and he’s getting an appetizer, entree, and dessert! I mean, I’d love a mango and sticky rice too, but all those extras add up. Is this kind of rude? His order is always the most expensive thing!

If you can’t afford it and I presume you can since it seems you order out a lot consider yourself lucky that this is your biggest problem. By having to worry about how much food he was ordering means that he’s someone who is obviously there for your daughter and that’s a good problem to have