Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's a growing boy and needs all of these nutrients/calories. Now that you know this about him, don't offer if you don't wan to buy all the food he requests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with others: set parameters--no desserts and no drinks.

But he's a grown young man and they are hungry a lot. So if he ordered two mains I'd be okay with that. The other stuff, appetizers etc, are not worth the money.

My brother is 6 ft 2 and he's now 58 y.o. He eats two mains. I remember once being annoyed when I was treating him, years ago, but the man needs to eat!

Where does this end, though? If the boyfriend wanted to order three entrees, is OP honestly expected to pay for them cheerfully, with not a whisper of annoyance? What about four entrees?

If I had a huge appetite, I’d order like the other people in the party, then take responsibility for feeding myself until satiated a bit later. He is not a hostage in her home.

It ends where OP sets the boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But do you have sons? My 14 year old has the same order at Chick. If not, he’s starving.

Yet my own 21-year-old DS never order anything more than a spicy chicken sandwich meal. If I ask and offer, I will get him two and he will say, "mom, you shouldn't have, it is too much (money)." When he is hungry at night (college was from home, right), he will make eggs and turkey bacon on his own, or go get his own food from the money from his part-time/summer job. And no, he did the same at 14.

Seriously what is wrong with you? If my teen boy is hungry, I feed him! That is literally job 1 for me as his mother. He always gets two entrees at chick filet, if he doesn’t he is hungry. Begrudging your son a spicy chicken sandwich? He has absorbed that message from you and acts accordingly,.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with others: set parameters--no desserts and no drinks.

But he's a grown young man and they are hungry a lot. So if he ordered two mains I'd be okay with that. The other stuff, appetizers etc, are not worth the money.

My brother is 6 ft 2 and he's now 58 y.o. He eats two mains. I remember once being annoyed when I was treating him, years ago, but the man needs to eat!

Where does this end, though? If the boyfriend wanted to order three entrees, is OP honestly expected to pay for them cheerfully, with not a whisper of annoyance? What about four entrees?

If I had a huge appetite, I’d order like the other people in the party, then take responsibility for feeding myself until satiated a bit later. He is not a hostage in her home.

It ends where OP sets the boundaries.

EXACTLY! Hint: If you're literally posting to the "Teens and Tweens" forum, the solution will likely start with you, OP.

[Anonymous]

I’d worry more that I’m feeding someone else’s kid too much crap junk food. It’s not like he’s ordering lobster or $200 bottles of wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d worry more that I’m feeding someone else’s kid too much crap junk food. It’s not like he’s ordering lobster or $200 bottles of wine.

His parents are probably happy he's mooching off his girlfriend's parents so they don't have to feed him.

[Anonymous]

We took my sister and her then bf out for dinner once when they visited. They were in their 20s and the bf ordered 3 specialty margaritas which ended up costing about $50. I learned my lesson quickly and we never took them out to eat again. If you are offering and the kid is ordering too much in your mind, say, “Everyone choose one entree and we will order a couple of appetizers to share. We have ice cream here for dessert if anyone wants something sweet afterward.”

Or these days, learn what places have a family meal. Chuy’s has a great taco meal for about $45. Zoes has a small and large family meal with lots of choices.

[Anonymous]

I would start serving boring home cooked food when he’s there. Let them get their own takeout. He and your daughter sound really spoiled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he's a growing boy and needs all of these nutrients/calories. Now that you know this about him, don't offer if you don't wan to buy all the food he requests.

Again, where does this end? Why is it her responsibility to throw food into his bottomless pit of a stomach? Is it alright if he just laces into her kitchen, eating anything and as much as wishes? If he eats frequently with this family, he must see that his consumption is out of step with the rest, and should take some responsibility for supplementing his diet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he's a growing boy and needs all of these nutrients/calories. Now that you know this about him, don't offer if you don't wan to buy all the food he requests.

Again, where does this end? Why is it her responsibility to throw food into his bottomless pit of a stomach? Is it alright if he just laces into her kitchen, eating anything and as much as wishes? If he eats frequently with this family, he must see that his consumption is out of step with the rest, and should take some responsibility for supplementing his diet.

OP didn’t give those kinds of examples. He didn’t order the entire menu, or three expensive entrees. And her daughter asked for the same and mom didn’t say a word. For those saying “follow your host’s lead”, he did. This mom doesn’t like the BF so she’s looking for problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he's a growing boy and needs all of these nutrients/calories. Now that you know this about him, don't offer if you don't wan to buy all the food he requests.

Again, where does this end? Why is it her responsibility to throw food into his bottomless pit of a stomach? Is it alright if he just laces into her kitchen, eating anything and as much as wishes? If he eats frequently with this family, he must see that his consumption is out of step with the rest, and should take some responsibility for supplementing his diet.

OP didn’t give those kinds of examples. He didn’t order the entire menu, or three expensive entrees. And her daughter asked for the same and mom didn’t say a word. For those saying “follow your host’s lead”, he did. This mom doesn’t like the BF so she’s looking for problems.

The daughter isn't the host, the paying parents are. OP said she'd like a mango sticky rice too, but didn't order one because it adds up. OP should have told the daughter she and BF could share the apps and dessert or just told her they weren't ordering extras.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d worry more that I’m feeding someone else’s kid too much crap junk food. It’s not like he’s ordering lobster or $200 bottles of wine.

His parents are probably happy he's mooching off his girlfriend's parents so they don't have to feed him.

Or this is what he would get with parents, and they are disappointed that his girlfriends mom is a cheapskate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he's a growing boy and needs all of these nutrients/calories. Now that you know this about him, don't offer if you don't wan to buy all the food he requests.

Again, where does this end? Why is it her responsibility to throw food into his bottomless pit of a stomach? Is it alright if he just laces into her kitchen, eating anything and as much as wishes? If he eats frequently with this family, he must see that his consumption is out of step with the rest, and should take some responsibility for supplementing his diet.

Young guys food consumption is always more than most people who are not young guys.

If the mom and dad can't afford to pay for his food, they should tell their daughter what they are willing to pay for and let her talk to him. We always had a family rule: no appetizers or desserts unless it was a special occasion like a birthday, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he's a growing boy and needs all of these nutrients/calories. Now that you know this about him, don't offer if you don't wan to buy all the food he requests.

Again, where does this end? Why is it her responsibility to throw food into his bottomless pit of a stomach? Is it alright if he just laces into her kitchen, eating anything and as much as wishes? If he eats frequently with this family, he must see that his consumption is out of step with the rest, and should take some responsibility for supplementing his diet.

This is ridiculous; he's a college age guy eating a normal amount for his age. No need for the drama- he's NOT ordering 3 meals. Unclench.

OP - it sounds like he's 1. Following your dd's lead so if there's a manners issue maybe look closer to home too! 2. A LOT of families wouldn't think his orders are at all odd, & he's not a mind-reader. When I have guests, I host. When I'm tight on money I'll order from a cheap pizza place. Otherwise I'll order from a place everyone likes & not worry about it.

He seems comfortable with your family which generally is a plus. Don't limit his face food orders 🙄. Or tell DD and her BF to go pick up food & you'll pay but she picks up. Avoids the Doordash fees, tipping the driver and you seem like a penny pincher so there you go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We took my sister and her then bf out for dinner once when they visited. They were in their 20s and the bf ordered 3 specialty margaritas which ended up costing about $50. I learned my lesson quickly and we never took them out to eat again. If you are offering and the kid is ordering too much in your mind, say, “Everyone choose one entree and we will order a couple of appetizers to share. We have ice cream here for dessert if anyone wants something sweet afterward.”

Or these days, learn what places have a family meal. Chuy’s has a great taco meal for about $45. Zoes has a small and large family meal with lots of choices.

Our chuy's closed but they never had meals for $45 and often that was our entire bill. (assuming it is a type as their meals were under $15.