If you grew up poor...

[oahulisa]

I would heat water in stock pots on the stove, and pour it in the bath, then get cold water. So they could be warm when I bathed them.

This triggered a memory and my sister and I had a great laugh about it. We laugh a lot about how poor we were but its that uncomfortable laugh masking pain. My sister is a doctor/professor and I'm in the process of becoming a small business owner so we made it out okay. Unfortunately because of my parents bad choices we were left orphaned before either of us graduated H.S.


6th grade teacher with tampon stash:

Could you email me at [e-mail] with your school address (or home if you feel comfortable) and I will add you to my amazon subscribe and save. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:- I remember getting 5 pairs of white underwear a yr. From this local place called the wardrobe. They gave out these vouchers for the school year.
My mother would make several copies of the empty form, so we could all get underwear.
Those 5 pair had to last me everyday for the whole year. I now hate white underwear.

- I had one pair of tennis shoes with a hole in the bottom, and no socks. The socks I got from the wardrobe my step dad would take because he needed to double up while wearing his boots. My feet are bad to this day. Missouri has some brutal winters.

- Before my mom got married 3 times it was just us and my little sister. WE would jump in the shower with our clothes on, and lay in front of the fan to keep cool in the hot Arizona heat.

- When I was 8 I remember my mom being gone often, her husband drunk/ high in violent rage and gone for days. Me and my sister ate a lot of pork and beans, apple sauce from a can, and yogurt. To this day I can't stomach any of the above. Sometimes we didn't have those, and I became creative. My sister loved when I would fry corn tortillas stuffed with govt cheese. When the cheese was gone I'd spread cold butter in them and sugar. I am 28 now and my sister still calls me mom.

- When I was 12 I remember doing the dishes by water hose. We hooked it up to the neighbors trailer and put the hose in through the kitchen window. My brothers were small. One was less than a year and one was about three. I would heat water in stock pots on the stove, and pour it in the bath, then get cold water. So they could be warm when I bathed them.
- Some days I couldn't find a sitter, and I had to stay home to take care of the younger children. I missed a lot of school.

- When I was 16 and finally got a job I had to contribute to bills. We had a little more money, my mom remarried a factory worker. My mother was selfish. I had to buy the baby diapers when I was 16 because she only had 30 dollars. She needed to get acrylics on. she said if she didn't fungus would develop and she would die.

- As a teen my mom discovered the church food banks. After that we ate pretty well when the food stamps ran out.


Sometimes I don't know whether to feel bad for my mother, or to hate her.

I'm truly sorry for what you experienced as a child. No kid should have to deal with these things. If you are a mom today I'm sure you're a much better one than your mom was to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Powdered milk.

We called it "blue milk" because it was soo watery/thin

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- I remember getting 5 pairs of white underwear a yr. From this local place called the wardrobe. They gave out these vouchers for the school year.
My mother would make several copies of the empty form, so we could all get underwear.
Those 5 pair had to last me everyday for the whole year. I now hate white underwear.

- I had one pair of tennis shoes with a hole in the bottom, and no socks. The socks I got from the wardrobe my step dad would take because he needed to double up while wearing his boots. My feet are bad to this day. Missouri has some brutal winters.

- Before my mom got married 3 times it was just us and my little sister. WE would jump in the shower with our clothes on, and lay in front of the fan to keep cool in the hot Arizona heat.

- When I was 8 I remember my mom being gone often, her husband drunk/ high in violent rage and gone for days. Me and my sister ate a lot of pork and beans, apple sauce from a can, and yogurt. To this day I can't stomach any of the above. Sometimes we didn't have those, and I became creative. My sister loved when I would fry corn tortillas stuffed with govt cheese. When the cheese was gone I'd spread cold butter in them and sugar. I am 28 now and my sister still calls me mom.

- When I was 12 I remember doing the dishes by water hose. We hooked it up to the neighbors trailer and put the hose in through the kitchen window. My brothers were small. One was less than a year and one was about three. I would heat water in stock pots on the stove, and pour it in the bath, then get cold water. So they could be warm when I bathed them.
- Some days I couldn't find a sitter, and I had to stay home to take care of the younger children. I missed a lot of school.

- When I was 16 and finally got a job I had to contribute to bills. We had a little more money, my mom remarried a factory worker. My mother was selfish. I had to buy the baby diapers when I was 16 because she only had 30 dollars. She needed to get acrylics on. she said if she didn't fungus would develop and she would die.

- As a teen my mom discovered the church food banks. After that we ate pretty well when the food stamps ran out.


Sometimes I don't know whether to feel bad for my mother, or to hate her.

I'm truly sorry for what you experienced as a child. No kid should have to deal with these things. If you are a mom today I'm sure you're a much better one than your mom was to you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:02:13, Moms like you were what got me through. That's a great, low-key approach. Just get ready, though -- you may start seeing that young one around more often! LOL But on the other hand, I used to wake up early at sleepovers, go downstairs and clean the kitchen/mop the floor/take out the trash. I was so grateful to these families, and it was too shaming to say out loud. So I would joke that I was compulsive instead. I just hope they understood what I was trying to say without saying it. I think they did. I hope so.

It's interesting to me (i'm not the pp) that the do-gooders really do need to be tactful about giving help and showing support too. I'm finding that particularly enlightening, and I like hearing the ideas of how to do that and how it's been done. Nobody needs to be shamed.

Yes, I agree it is incredibly important to be discreet. Some of my worst memories are of times when people were actually trying to be kind and help me, but I was just so ashamed.

As for how to help without embarassing a child, I think it would be great to do things for an entire group, or two kids in a pair, etc., so that the child in need is not singled out. For example, if my girls were to ever bring a friend over to hang out and I got the impression she was needy, I would not just try to give the guest things. Instead, I would say something like, "Hey girls, I just got these three new kinds of face soap and I would love it if everyone would try one for a while and tell me later if you like it." And then pass them out. Now I've gotten a big bottle of face cleanser into the hands of the child in need without it seeming weird. Or if I were taking the girls to a bounce place and someone had tattered looking socks, I could say something like, "You know what we all need? Crazy socks!" and then I could treat everyone to a set of new socks. Another idea would be to say, hey girls, let's bake this afternoon! Then when five dozen muffins are done, it won't seem out of place to say, "Sally, you should take 2 dozen home and enjoy the results of your hard work in the kitchen!" Or ask the girls to help out with spring cleaning of your closet and tell them they all get to fill a bag with stuff you don't need anymore.

Obviously this would only help with little things, and it is not an effective means to really combat poverty. No kid is going to be "saved" by a bottle of face soap or clean socks, or a bunch of muffins or one bag of old accessories. It's a start, though, and if a small bit of assistance is well-placed, it can make a huge difference, in my experience. And with the way I grew up, getting to hang out with "mom" and do these things also would have been really wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being poor boils down to one long saga stretched over the course of my life: Tampons

1.) running out of tampons on the 19th of the month, 11 days till the first.
2.) being sooooo stressed i was going to bleed all over my clothes so i went to the nurse and asked for some tampons
3.) my mom finding out the nurse had tampons and refused to buy me some from that point on
4.) over hearing the nurse complain to another teacher in the hallway that i am taking too many tampons from the school and i should be ashamed
5.) feeling very ashamed so i started stealing tampons from the drugstore from that point on
6.) becoming a 6th grade teacher and going to cosco and buying huge boxes of tampons and pads, I was so proud to tell my female students i will always have plenty of tampons and pads for everyone
7.) feeling extremely touched and emotional when one of my students trusted me enough to ask if she could take a box home for the summer because they were too expensive to put on the grocery list.

Are you still a teacher? Do you still distribute tampons?

[Anonymous]

Tampon teacher, you are fantastic.

[Anonymous]

Speaking of growing up poor, I'm collecting winter boots for an Ukrainian orphanage. For older kids, the ones who were not lucky enough to be adopted.

They too in the winter are not able to go out sometimes due to lack of shoes. And they don't have any zip lock bags over there.

So if you have some winter boots (women size 6,7, and 8 or men's 9 and 10) and want to mail them to me, it will be greatly appreciated. Please email me at [e-mail] and I'll send you my address.

This is the organization that works with them:
http://www.orphansbrightstar.org/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tampon teacher, you are fantastic.

+10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tampon teacher, you are fantastic.

+10000

OMG, +1 million! You are wonderful.
And thanks for reminding us all of the things you never think of that people struggle with and that you take for granted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Ziplock bags over my shoes, tied with rubber bands, instead of snow boots. Mom's idea. I was in second grade and thought it was brilliant. Until everyone made fun of me.


I grew up with money but my mom who grew up poor made me do this. Ridiculous.

See, this is what I worry about. That my son would never learn the actual lesson here (wasteful to buy something like snow boots if it is only to be used 2-3 times!) and instead feel bitter since we "have the money". Argh.

There is snow and ice on the ground many more than 2 or 3 days in dc. and I walked home from school ten blocks. The only shoes I had were sneakers with cotton socks. That is not adequate in cold weather for recess or walking home ten blocks on snow and ice.

BTW running shoes would have been much much better - maybe even no need to buy snow shoes.

Huh? So you want your kid to sit around in wet shoes all day or slip on ice? People who afford it should get their kids boots or galoshes to keep their feet warm and dry. That's not a luxury item.

It is a luxury item in this area. Most wet snowy days, school is cancelled anyway. They can stay in like we did, and we were not poor.

NP here. A pair of snow boots, the cheapest kind, is 30 dollars on sale. You'd rather your child 'stayed in' like you did, to prove some kind of a point?

I feel sorry for your children.

You can get a pair of galoshes to put over your kids shoes for twenty bucks. It also rains in this area. You want your kid to sit in school with wet shoes while you sip you frappacino?

[Anonymous]

Tampon teacher and Ukrainian winter boots collector, you guys are awesome!

[Anonymous]

I am so very sorry for all of the people who experienced such things as children. What is the best way to help those in my community? It seems as though everyone in McLean (where I love) is wealthy, but I imagine there is need here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so very sorry for all of the people who experienced such things as children. What is the best way to help those in my community? It seems as though everyone in McLean (where I love) is wealthy, but I imagine there is need here.

Live, not love

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so very sorry for all of the people who experienced such things as children. What is the best way to help those in my community? It seems as though everyone in McLean (where I love) is wealthy, but I imagine there is need here.

Live, not love

PP, I started this spinoff: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/316634.page#3762308 to discuss questions like yours. You might find some good ideas there.

1% of Langley students receive free and reduced lunch. 5% of McLean students receive it. I'm sure you're right that there is need.