If you grew up poor...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* all of 4th and 5th grade we didnt have power.
* qualified for free lunch and like you OP would never get te lunch because then people would know.
*all thru HS we lived,literally, in a shack with roaches, rats and no AC or heat
* I never went to a single event in HS, including prom because there wasnt money to, and I was ashamed of my clothes
* I spent so many nights going to bed hungry that I push food on my DC. I'm so paranoid he might be hungry that now he's about 10lbs overweight
* as an adult I'm a terrible hoarder of things I never had as a kid- toothpaste, deodorant, soap/shampoo and feminine products being my biggest hoards

Where did you live? What are your circumstances like now? What about your siblings? Parents?

I grew up in Texas and Florida. Texas we were poor, in Florida we were dirt poor. My father just one day decided he didn't want to work anymore and so he didnt. I got a job at 15, but it went to help pay the bills.
It's been 25 yrs since I've spoken or seen my father and close to 10 for my mother. I am by no means wealthy, but I do very well and my DC has never known what hungry or cold or scared feels like. He is heavily spoiled. I keep telling myself I need to scale back on material things for him, and then the little girl me rears her head and I can't help it and buy whatever his heart desires

Your son is no better off than that little girl. You are doing him a terrible disservice. I assume you appreciate what you have now, no? I doubt that a child growing up being given everything "his heart desires" will ever truly appreciate anything. Why not try to correct that before it's too late?

[Anonymous]

In high school, the kids who received a free lunch received a coupon every morning in home room. Was humiliating at first, but then I started selling my free lunch coupons. I ate my friend's leftovers at lunch.

Also made money by doing homework for my classmates and letting them copying off of me during exams.

Never attended any school event that required an admission fee. Couldn't afford the 10 cents for the 6th grade ice scream social, told the teacher many times, but that bitch just had to let the whole class know.

If we lost/outgrew our Salvation Army gloves or boots during the winter, we went without for the rest of the winter. Same for bathing suits in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Mixing one can of Cambell's condensed soup with 2 cans of water. I thought that was how you made soup. Now I know that is how you stretch a can of soup to make lunch for 5 kids.

Me too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* all of 4th and 5th grade we didnt have power.
* qualified for free lunch and like you OP would never get te lunch because then people would know.
*all thru HS we lived,literally, in a shack with roaches, rats and no AC or heat
* I never went to a single event in HS, including prom because there wasnt money to, and I was ashamed of my clothes
* I spent so many nights going to bed hungry that I push food on my DC. I'm so paranoid he might be hungry that now he's about 10lbs overweight
* as an adult I'm a terrible hoarder of things I never had as a kid- toothpaste, deodorant, soap/shampoo and feminine products being my biggest hoards

Where did you live? What are your circumstances like now? What about your siblings? Parents?

I grew up in Texas and Florida. Texas we were poor, in Florida we were dirt poor. My father just one day decided he didn't want to work anymore and so he didnt. I got a job at 15, but it went to help pay the bills.
It's been 25 yrs since I've spoken or seen my father and close to 10 for my mother. I am by no means wealthy, but I do very well and my DC has never known what hungry or cold or scared feels like. He is heavily spoiled. I keep telling myself I need to scale back on material things for him, and then the little girl me rears her head and I can't help it and buy whatever his heart desires

Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. It's so interesting to me because my mother grew up "traumatically poor" and it continues to influence her behavior and her relationships even though she is over 70 years old and financially secure. I'm so proud of her because she is so strong, but it saddens me to see how she still suffers.

.


My family is generational poor. My mother grew up in poverty as did her mothers mother, who started life as a refugee.
I refuse to continue this legacy with my ds. My legacy to my son is for him, I broke the cycle of poverty. He has the world on a platter.

[Anonymous]

Never had a birthday party, the few times I received money for my birthday from relatives, my mother snatched it away from me for booze and cigarettes

Started babysitting when I was ten, had to give half of any money I earned to my mother for "board".

Not surprisingly, I left home before I was 16.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* all of 4th and 5th grade we didnt have power.
* qualified for free lunch and like you OP would never get te lunch because then people would know.
*all thru HS we lived,literally, in a shack with roaches, rats and no AC or heat
* I never went to a single event in HS, including prom because there wasnt money to, and I was ashamed of my clothes
* I spent so many nights going to bed hungry that I push food on my DC. I'm so paranoid he might be hungry that now he's about 10lbs overweight
* as an adult I'm a terrible hoarder of things I never had as a kid- toothpaste, deodorant, soap/shampoo and feminine products being my biggest hoards

Where did you live? What are your circumstances like now? What about your siblings? Parents?

I grew up in Texas and Florida. Texas we were poor, in Florida we were dirt poor. My father just one day decided he didn't want to work anymore and so he didnt. I got a job at 15, but it went to help pay the bills.
It's been 25 yrs since I've spoken or seen my father and close to 10 for my mother. I am by no means wealthy, but I do very well and my DC has never known what hungry or cold or scared feels like. He is heavily spoiled. I keep telling myself I need to scale back on material things for him, and then the little girl me rears her head and I can't help it and buy whatever his heart desires

Your son is no better off than that little girl. You are doing him a terrible disservice. I assume you appreciate what you have now, no? I doubt that a child growing up being given everything "his heart desires" will ever truly appreciate anything. Why not try to correct that before it's too late?

Because when your entire childhood is colored with memories of crying yourself to sleep from hunger, or only being allowed one shower a week because water was too expensive, when you are wearing clothes you found in the dumpster and swatting at rats as big as a cat in the kitchen with a broom, these things become your identity. The threads of poverty run deep in the tapestry of my life. My little boy has more food available to him than I had in a months time as a kid, he has heat and air conditioning, toys,electronics and experiences I never dreamed of. He is living the childhood I always wanted. I am a GOOD mom. Even if I have spoiled my son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* all of 4th and 5th grade we didnt have power.
* qualified for free lunch and like you OP would never get te lunch because then people would know.
*all thru HS we lived,literally, in a shack with roaches, rats and no AC or heat
* I never went to a single event in HS, including prom because there wasnt money to, and I was ashamed of my clothes
* I spent so many nights going to bed hungry that I push food on my DC. I'm so paranoid he might be hungry that now he's about 10lbs overweight
* as an adult I'm a terrible hoarder of things I never had as a kid- toothpaste, deodorant, soap/shampoo and feminine products being my biggest hoards

Where did you live? What are your circumstances like now? What about your siblings? Parents?

I grew up in Texas and Florida. Texas we were poor, in Florida we were dirt poor. My father just one day decided he didn't want to work anymore and so he didnt. I got a job at 15, but it went to help pay the bills.
It's been 25 yrs since I've spoken or seen my father and close to 10 for my mother. I am by no means wealthy, but I do very well and my DC has never known what hungry or cold or scared feels like. He is heavily spoiled. I keep telling myself I need to scale back on material things for him, and then the little girl me rears her head and I can't help it and buy whatever his heart desires

Your son is no better off than that little girl. You are doing him a terrible disservice. I assume you appreciate what you have now, no? I doubt that a child growing up being given everything "his heart desires" will ever truly appreciate anything. Why not try to correct that before it's too late?

Because when your entire childhood is colored with memories of crying yourself to sleep from hunger, or only being allowed one shower a week because water was too expensive, when you are wearing clothes you found in the dumpster and swatting at rats as big as a cat in the kitchen with a broom, these things become your identity. The threads of poverty run deep in the tapestry of my life. My little boy has more food available to him than I had in a months time as a kid, he has heat and air conditioning, toys,electronics and experiences I never dreamed of. He is living the childhood I always wanted. I am a GOOD mom. Even if I have spoiled my son.

I am sorry, I never meant to suggest that you weren't a good mom. I think it is amazing that you have turned the poverty around in a single generation. You son is very fortunate to be so privileged, I sincerely mean that.

Maybe I misinterpreted what you said, or took it too literally. While the kind of grinding poverty you grew up in is soul-crushing, it also kills the soul to have its every desire instantly gratified. If that's not what you are doing to your son, please disregard what I said. I just hope you are finding ways for him to truly appreciate what he has; it is very difficult for people (myself included) not to take what they have for granted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* all of 4th and 5th grade we didnt have power.
* qualified for free lunch and like you OP would never get te lunch because then people would know.
*all thru HS we lived,literally, in a shack with roaches, rats and no AC or heat
* I never went to a single event in HS, including prom because there wasnt money to, and I was ashamed of my clothes
* I spent so many nights going to bed hungry that I push food on my DC. I'm so paranoid he might be hungry that now he's about 10lbs overweight
* as an adult I'm a terrible hoarder of things I never had as a kid- toothpaste, deodorant, soap/shampoo and feminine products being my biggest hoards

Where did you live? What are your circumstances like now? What about your siblings? Parents?

I grew up in Texas and Florida. Texas we were poor, in Florida we were dirt poor. My father just one day decided he didn't want to work anymore and so he didnt. I got a job at 15, but it went to help pay the bills.
It's been 25 yrs since I've spoken or seen my father and close to 10 for my mother. I am by no means wealthy, but I do very well and my DC has never known what hungry or cold or scared feels like. He is heavily spoiled. I keep telling myself I need to scale back on material things for him, and then the little girl me rears her head and I can't help it and buy whatever his heart desires

Your son is no better off than that little girl. You are doing him a terrible disservice. I assume you appreciate what you have now, no? I doubt that a child growing up being given everything "his heart desires" will ever truly appreciate anything. Why not try to correct that before it's too late?

Because when your entire childhood is colored with memories of crying yourself to sleep from hunger, or only being allowed one shower a week because water was too expensive, when you are wearing clothes you found in the dumpster and swatting at rats as big as a cat in the kitchen with a broom, these things become your identity. The threads of poverty run deep in the tapestry of my life. My little boy has more food available to him than I had in a months time as a kid, he has heat and air conditioning, toys,electronics and experiences I never dreamed of. He is living the childhood I always wanted. I am a GOOD mom. Even if I have spoiled my son.

You don't need to explain yourself. Those of us who have been there get it.

[Anonymous]

I grew up poor but that is because my parents lived way beyond their means. If we lived in a cheaper area we would have lived more comfortably, but they had to live in a certain community. We didn't exactly go without but we lived on credit so my memories are of how stressful life is when you are deep in debt. Maxed out credit cards, struggling to make the house and car payment etc. It's all they could ever talk about and it created a lot of anxiety for me.

Believe me, more people should be eating beans and rice until pay day. You would never know a person's financial situation because so many people live on credit

[Anonymous]

Never being dress appropriately for the weather.
Eating tuna and homemade french fries for a whole month while my mom was on a drug binge.



I always wanted a 64 count box of Crayons. I have the large crayon carrousel in a prominent place in my home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* all of 4th and 5th grade we didnt have power.
* qualified for free lunch and like you OP would never get te lunch because then people would know.
*all thru HS we lived,literally, in a shack with roaches, rats and no AC or heat
* I never went to a single event in HS, including prom because there wasnt money to, and I was ashamed of my clothes
* I spent so many nights going to bed hungry that I push food on my DC. I'm so paranoid he might be hungry that now he's about 10lbs overweight
* as an adult I'm a terrible hoarder of things I never had as a kid- toothpaste, deodorant, soap/shampoo and feminine products being my biggest hoards

Where did you live? What are your circumstances like now? What about your siblings? Parents?

I grew up in Texas and Florida. Texas we were poor, in Florida we were dirt poor. My father just one day decided he didn't want to work anymore and so he didnt. I got a job at 15, but it went to help pay the bills.
It's been 25 yrs since I've spoken or seen my father and close to 10 for my mother. I am by no means wealthy, but I do very well and my DC has never known what hungry or cold or scared feels like. He is heavily spoiled. I keep telling myself I need to scale back on material things for him, and then the little girl me rears her head and I can't help it and buy whatever his heart desires

Your son is no better off than that little girl. You are doing him a terrible disservice. I assume you appreciate what you have now, no? I doubt that a child growing up being given everything "his heart desires" will ever truly appreciate anything. Why not try to correct that before it's too late?

Because when your entire childhood is colored with memories of crying yourself to sleep from hunger, or only being allowed one shower a week because water was too expensive, when you are wearing clothes you found in the dumpster and swatting at rats as big as a cat in the kitchen with a broom, these things become your identity. The threads of poverty run deep in the tapestry of my life. My little boy has more food available to him than I had in a months time as a kid, he has heat and air conditioning, toys,electronics and experiences I never dreamed of. He is living the childhood I always wanted. I am a GOOD mom. Even if I have spoiled my son.

You don't need to explain yourself. Those of us who have been there get it.

Not necessarily. I grew up in poverty and my husband and I now provide very comfortably for our children. The worst thing we could do for them would be to spoil them due to our own baggage. Some of the emptiest people I know are surrounded by luxury.

[Anonymous]

- 3 siblings on one twin bed,
- like a pp, putting items back in store
- when youngest was born, we didn't have a crib. Parents stacked 3 couch cushions and that was her crib.
- strangers would give us clothes at worship service randomly
- no homecoming, prom, yearbook, etc
- after living in a 500 square foot apartment with a family of 9, we moved into a 2000 square foot home and I remember being so happy and telling my dad that our house was too big ha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* all of 4th and 5th grade we didnt have power.
* qualified for free lunch and like you OP would never get te lunch because then people would know.
*all thru HS we lived,literally, in a shack with roaches, rats and no AC or heat
* I never went to a single event in HS, including prom because there wasnt money to, and I was ashamed of my clothes
* I spent so many nights going to bed hungry that I push food on my DC. I'm so paranoid he might be hungry that now he's about 10lbs overweight
* as an adult I'm a terrible hoarder of things I never had as a kid- toothpaste, deodorant, soap/shampoo and feminine products being my biggest hoards

Where did you live? What are your circumstances like now? What about your siblings? Parents?

I grew up in Texas and Florida. Texas we were poor, in Florida we were dirt poor. My father just one day decided he didn't want to work anymore and so he didnt. I got a job at 15, but it went to help pay the bills.
It's been 25 yrs since I've spoken or seen my father and close to 10 for my mother. I am by no means wealthy, but I do very well and my DC has never known what hungry or cold or scared feels like. He is heavily spoiled. I keep telling myself I need to scale back on material things for him, and then the little girl me rears her head and I can't help it and buy whatever his heart desires

Your son is no better off than that little girl. You are doing him a terrible disservice. I assume you appreciate what you have now, no? I doubt that a child growing up being given everything "his heart desires" will ever truly appreciate anything. Why not try to correct that before it's too late?

Because when your entire childhood is colored with memories of crying yourself to sleep from hunger, or only being allowed one shower a week because water was too expensive, when you are wearing clothes you found in the dumpster and swatting at rats as big as a cat in the kitchen with a broom, these things become your identity. The threads of poverty run deep in the tapestry of my life. My little boy has more food available to him than I had in a months time as a kid, he has heat and air conditioning, toys,electronics and experiences I never dreamed of. He is living the childhood I always wanted. I am a GOOD mom. Even if I have spoiled my son.

You don't need to explain yourself. Those of us who have been there get it.

Not necessarily. I grew up in poverty and my husband and I now provide very comfortably for our children. The worst thing we could do for them would be to spoil them due to our own baggage. Some of the emptiest people I know are surrounded by luxury.

I haven't gotten to that place, and may never be at that place where I can separate my sons childhood from mine.

[Anonymous]

This was in Asia.

6 people lived in a 350 sq. feet studio apartment. There's no bedroom.

My everyday clothes/sleepwear was my school PE uniform.

[Anonymous]

Free lunch with the dreaded "Red card." That sucked royally. My friends were all getting french fries and whatever they wanted, I had to get a hot & cold pack.
Freebie clothes - an organization called Charity Newsies gave my Mom clothes for us. I was proud of my "silent" rubber soled shoes that made no noise when I walked.
Electricity being turned off and having to go pay at the grocery store to get it turned back on.
Roaches, not always, but sometimes. Oh the roaches.
Bologna sandwiches. Lots and lots of bologna sandwiches.
Cheese & mayonnaise sandwiches in my lunch because we didn't have lunchmeat.
Not having a dime to pay to go to the public pool 3 blocks away, next to the projects
Going to the food pantry with my Mom
Oh, government cheese & powdered milk.

My Mom was a single Mom making min wage. She basically lied to welfare to get benefits, saying she wasn't working, so she could have medical care for us. She got caught and had to pay it back.

The really rough patches were when she was single, mainly between 3-7th grade.