Are upper middle class family gatherings now just luxury travel pissing contests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are misinterpreting OP's complaint. I don't see OP saying that any discussion of travel should be avoided, but specifically that "pissing contests" over travel are annoying and unpleasant. To me this is a distinct thing. I love hearing about others' travels or whatever they've been up to that they are excited about (could be a recent trip to Japan or some new plantings in their garden or a new hobby or whatever). But I don't enjoy when family member or friends engage in pissing contests over anything but especially something like travel where this can easily devolve into who traveled the most or the furthest or went to the most impressive/rare place.

My family doesn't do this with travel but recently got into this pattern with charitable activity. Now I of course am very supportive of all their charitable activity! But some recent family gatherings have become weirdly competitive with people talking about their charitable activity in a competitive way and explicitly trying to top one another and impress one another with how much they are giving or volunteering. It's really weird!

My response to conversations like this is to not participate and look for ways to change the subject or exit the convo. It's the competitive vibe and one-upsmanship that is the problem, not the actual subject of conversation which is essentially neutral.

I’m a travel enthusiast. I don’t think it is a pissing contest when people share travel plans or stories. Maybe it sounds like this to a third party who isn’t engaging. I’m very passionate about travel and get excited talking about it.

We recently went to a Taylor swift concert. My daughter loves Taylor swift. I remember telling my daughter not to brag. She was so excited before and after the concert. She doesn’t know or care how much tickets cost. Her friends may have been also excited to go to Disney or their grandparents house in Michigan to spend with their cousins.

I’m confused. Why would someone brag about attending a Taylor Swift concert?

All of her friends like Taylor swift. Not everyone can drop 10k for a concert.

In this area? I’m surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a theory. I think many people, especially UMC, are socially isolated. There seem to be a lot of UMC families where both parents work and they have very few friends, if any. Any social activities seem to revolve around kids’ activities. Most of their time is spent working and managing their household.

Travel is all they have. There isn’t much else for them to share about at a dinner. During school breaks and vacation weeks they travel because there isn’t anything going on at home. They don’t have friends to spend time with so it’s off they go to a new place as a family.

I’m a SAHM. We live a very UMC lifestyle. Some people may consider us rich. We have a seven figure income and eight figure net worth. I do not lack for friends. My kids have full social lives. They do well in school, are in many activities and sports. We go to our beach house. We visit family. We hang out with our many friends and yes, we travel. I don’t buy your theory.

The dual working parents are busy juggling a lot. Their plates are full. Not sure why you are knocking their travel during breaks. Any UMC travels during school breaks. I would say you are the outlier if you go nowhere for summer, spring or winter break.

I would avoid you at school pickup like the Bubonic plague.

Not sure why you would avoid me. I’m very friendly. My kids have a lot of friends. We host a lot of play dates and parties.

At school and sporting events, I chitchat with parents. Everyone goes somewhere for break. Some people do have a humble bragging or bragging tone and I’m not one of them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are misinterpreting OP's complaint. I don't see OP saying that any discussion of travel should be avoided, but specifically that "pissing contests" over travel are annoying and unpleasant. To me this is a distinct thing. I love hearing about others' travels or whatever they've been up to that they are excited about (could be a recent trip to Japan or some new plantings in their garden or a new hobby or whatever). But I don't enjoy when family member or friends engage in pissing contests over anything but especially something like travel where this can easily devolve into who traveled the most or the furthest or went to the most impressive/rare place.

My family doesn't do this with travel but recently got into this pattern with charitable activity. Now I of course am very supportive of all their charitable activity! But some recent family gatherings have become weirdly competitive with people talking about their charitable activity in a competitive way and explicitly trying to top one another and impress one another with how much they are giving or volunteering. It's really weird!

My response to conversations like this is to not participate and look for ways to change the subject or exit the convo. It's the competitive vibe and one-upsmanship that is the problem, not the actual subject of conversation which is essentially neutral.

I’m a travel enthusiast. I don’t think it is a pissing contest when people share travel plans or stories. Maybe it sounds like this to a third party who isn’t engaging. I’m very passionate about travel and get excited talking about it.

We recently went to a Taylor swift concert. My daughter loves Taylor swift. I remember telling my daughter not to brag. She was so excited before and after the concert. She doesn’t know or care how much tickets cost. Her friends may have been also excited to go to Disney or their grandparents house in Michigan to spend with their cousins.

I’m confused. Why would someone brag about attending a Taylor Swift concert?

All of her friends like Taylor swift. Not everyone can drop 10k for a concert.

In this area? I’m surprised.

You obviously are not a TS fan or you would know that she didn’t come to DC. You had to travel to see her. Tickets have been sold out. You had to be lucky to get in a virtual queue to buy tickets. Most people pay thousands of dollars on the secondary market and pay peak travel prices and hotel. Have you not heard of the Taylor swift effect? She raises the economy wherever she goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are misinterpreting OP's complaint. I don't see OP saying that any discussion of travel should be avoided, but specifically that "pissing contests" over travel are annoying and unpleasant. To me this is a distinct thing. I love hearing about others' travels or whatever they've been up to that they are excited about (could be a recent trip to Japan or some new plantings in their garden or a new hobby or whatever). But I don't enjoy when family member or friends engage in pissing contests over anything but especially something like travel where this can easily devolve into who traveled the most or the furthest or went to the most impressive/rare place.

My family doesn't do this with travel but recently got into this pattern with charitable activity. Now I of course am very supportive of all their charitable activity! But some recent family gatherings have become weirdly competitive with people talking about their charitable activity in a competitive way and explicitly trying to top one another and impress one another with how much they are giving or volunteering. It's really weird!

My response to conversations like this is to not participate and look for ways to change the subject or exit the convo. It's the competitive vibe and one-upsmanship that is the problem, not the actual subject of conversation which is essentially neutral.

I’m a travel enthusiast. I don’t think it is a pissing contest when people share travel plans or stories. Maybe it sounds like this to a third party who isn’t engaging. I’m very passionate about travel and get excited talking about it.

We recently went to a Taylor swift concert. My daughter loves Taylor swift. I remember telling my daughter not to brag. She was so excited before and after the concert. She doesn’t know or care how much tickets cost. Her friends may have been also excited to go to Disney or their grandparents house in Michigan to spend with their cousins.

I’m confused. Why would someone brag about attending a Taylor Swift concert?

All of her friends like Taylor swift. Not everyone can drop 10k for a concert.

In this area? I’m surprised.

You obviously are not a TS fan or you would know that she didn’t come to DC. You had to travel to see her. Tickets have been sold out. You had to be lucky to get in a virtual queue to buy tickets. Most people pay thousands of dollars on the secondary market and pay peak travel prices and hotel. Have you not heard of the Taylor swift effect? She raises the economy wherever she goes.

I was in Europe for the summer and heard that getting tickets was no big deal. But I can’t imagine putting in the effort that you did to see an entertainer. And if I did, I can’t imagine having to caution my child not to brag about it. Rather, I think I would explain that we shouldn’t talk about it for fear of potential embarrassment for our unhinged obsession with an overrated entertainer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family will skimp on clothes (no brand names), our furniture is from IKEA, we drive economy cars, but we love to travel. Our main hobbies are scuba diving, hiking and mountain biking. So yes, we will "brag" and so do our friends. I don't understand homebodies, one can see the world on any budget.

Not any budget. Many people can barely afford to eat every day much less ever own a car and say they skimp by driving economy cars. I get your point even though your hobbies are somewhat expensive, but there are people that turn these activities into reflections that are tone deaf. Like the mom I met who said she appreciated the happiness of poor people and loveliness of being around animals after doing her 3rd safari tour staying in luxurious accommodations and being led by a guide.

Why all the shaming? So the mom can travel to her 3rd safari, so what? Why is everyone so offended all of a sudden? Did she steal her travel money? Or she should've not gone anywhere and "could've helped the less fortunate"?

Oh and "many people can barefly afford to eat every day"...no offense, but there are a lot of programs to feed the hungry. I regularly donate to our local food back and you should hear the stories about how picky some people are. There are free lunches at schools for those who qualify too.

Yes, my hobbies are expensive, I like them, I pay for them, I don't borrow or whine or b*** about how expensive things are. I'd rather travel the world than sit on my ass whining.

It's not that. It's pretending you are very thrifty when you are only thrifty about some things and make up for it with luxury on others. You are discriminating with money, not thrifty just because you don't buy luxury everything. It's pretending that the people who greet you on Safari are happy being poor when it's literally their job to be happy and welcoming and likely they could be struggling a lot. It's romanticizing poverty and acting like you understand the people just because you met some of them at a tourist destination.

You sound tone deaf on the affordability of America and the world and not someone who can understand why not everyone can afford a trip if they just save a little bit buy not buying luxury for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family will skimp on clothes (no brand names), our furniture is from IKEA, we drive economy cars, but we love to travel. Our main hobbies are scuba diving, hiking and mountain biking. So yes, we will "brag" and so do our friends. I don't understand homebodies, one can see the world on any budget.

Not any budget. Many people can barely afford to eat every day much less ever own a car and say they skimp by driving economy cars. I get your point even though your hobbies are somewhat expensive, but there are people that turn these activities into reflections that are tone deaf. Like the mom I met who said she appreciated the happiness of poor people and loveliness of being around animals after doing her 3rd safari tour staying in luxurious accommodations and being led by a guide.

Why all the shaming? So the mom can travel to her 3rd safari, so what? Why is everyone so offended all of a sudden? Did she steal her travel money? Or she should've not gone anywhere and "could've helped the less fortunate"?

Oh and "many people can barefly afford to eat every day"...no offense, but there are a lot of programs to feed the hungry. I regularly donate to our local food back and you should hear the stories about how picky some people are. There are free lunches at schools for those who qualify too.

Yes, my hobbies are expensive, I like them, I pay for them, I don't borrow or whine or b*** about how expensive things are. I'd rather travel the world than sit on my ass whining.

Pretty sure this is the part PP takes issue with: "Like the mom I met who said she appreciated the happiness of poor people "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are misinterpreting OP's complaint. I don't see OP saying that any discussion of travel should be avoided, but specifically that "pissing contests" over travel are annoying and unpleasant. To me this is a distinct thing. I love hearing about others' travels or whatever they've been up to that they are excited about (could be a recent trip to Japan or some new plantings in their garden or a new hobby or whatever). But I don't enjoy when family member or friends engage in pissing contests over anything but especially something like travel where this can easily devolve into who traveled the most or the furthest or went to the most impressive/rare place.

My family doesn't do this with travel but recently got into this pattern with charitable activity. Now I of course am very supportive of all their charitable activity! But some recent family gatherings have become weirdly competitive with people talking about their charitable activity in a competitive way and explicitly trying to top one another and impress one another with how much they are giving or volunteering. It's really weird!

My response to conversations like this is to not participate and look for ways to change the subject or exit the convo. It's the competitive vibe and one-upsmanship that is the problem, not the actual subject of conversation which is essentially neutral.

I’m a travel enthusiast. I don’t think it is a pissing contest when people share travel plans or stories. Maybe it sounds like this to a third party who isn’t engaging. I’m very passionate about travel and get excited talking about it.

We recently went to a Taylor swift concert. My daughter loves Taylor swift. I remember telling my daughter not to brag. She was so excited before and after the concert. She doesn’t know or care how much tickets cost. Her friends may have been also excited to go to Disney or their grandparents house in Michigan to spend with their cousins.

I’m confused. Why would someone brag about attending a Taylor Swift concert?

All of her friends like Taylor swift. Not everyone can drop 10k for a concert.

In this area? I’m surprised.

You obviously are not a TS fan or you would know that she didn’t come to DC. You had to travel to see her. Tickets have been sold out. You had to be lucky to get in a virtual queue to buy tickets. Most people pay thousands of dollars on the secondary market and pay peak travel prices and hotel. Have you not heard of the Taylor swift effect? She raises the economy wherever she goes.

I was in Europe for the summer and heard that getting tickets was no big deal. But I can’t imagine putting in the effort that you did to see an entertainer. And if I did, I can’t imagine having to caution my child not to brag about it. Rather, I think I would explain that we shouldn’t talk about it for fear of potential embarrassment for our unhinged obsession with an overrated entertainer.

You do realize she is currently the most popular artist in the world.

You must not have a tween/teen daughter. I took my elementary daughter and she will remember this concert for the rest of her life.

We were also in Europe and Asia this summer if that is your flex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are misinterpreting OP's complaint. I don't see OP saying that any discussion of travel should be avoided, but specifically that "pissing contests" over travel are annoying and unpleasant. To me this is a distinct thing. I love hearing about others' travels or whatever they've been up to that they are excited about (could be a recent trip to Japan or some new plantings in their garden or a new hobby or whatever). But I don't enjoy when family member or friends engage in pissing contests over anything but especially something like travel where this can easily devolve into who traveled the most or the furthest or went to the most impressive/rare place.

My family doesn't do this with travel but recently got into this pattern with charitable activity. Now I of course am very supportive of all their charitable activity! But some recent family gatherings have become weirdly competitive with people talking about their charitable activity in a competitive way and explicitly trying to top one another and impress one another with how much they are giving or volunteering. It's really weird!

My response to conversations like this is to not participate and look for ways to change the subject or exit the convo. It's the competitive vibe and one-upsmanship that is the problem, not the actual subject of conversation which is essentially neutral.

I’m a travel enthusiast. I don’t think it is a pissing contest when people share travel plans or stories. Maybe it sounds like this to a third party who isn’t engaging. I’m very passionate about travel and get excited talking about it.

We recently went to a Taylor swift concert. My daughter loves Taylor swift. I remember telling my daughter not to brag. She was so excited before and after the concert. She doesn’t know or care how much tickets cost. Her friends may have been also excited to go to Disney or their grandparents house in Michigan to spend with their cousins.

I’m confused. Why would someone brag about attending a Taylor Swift concert?

All of her friends like Taylor swift. Not everyone can drop 10k for a concert.

In this area? I’m surprised.

You obviously are not a TS fan or you would know that she didn’t come to DC. You had to travel to see her. Tickets have been sold out. You had to be lucky to get in a virtual queue to buy tickets. Most people pay thousands of dollars on the secondary market and pay peak travel prices and hotel. Have you not heard of the Taylor swift effect? She raises the economy wherever she goes.

I was in Europe for the summer and heard that getting tickets was no big deal. But I can’t imagine putting in the effort that you did to see an entertainer. And if I did, I can’t imagine having to caution my child not to brag about it. Rather, I think I would explain that we shouldn’t talk about it for fear of potential embarrassment for our unhinged obsession with an overrated entertainer.

You do realize she is currently the most popular artist in the world.

You must not have a tween/teen daughter. I took my elementary daughter and she will remember this concert for the rest of her life.

We were also in Europe and Asia this summer if that is your flex.

Not sure what “flex” means. Are you the tween? It’s sad you think a concert is a highlight of your daughter’s life. Aim higher PP. And let me guess? You visited Iceland, Portugal and Japan this year, just like every other wannabe in the DMV. What a cliche, the OP is right!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are misinterpreting OP's complaint. I don't see OP saying that any discussion of travel should be avoided, but specifically that "pissing contests" over travel are annoying and unpleasant. To me this is a distinct thing. I love hearing about others' travels or whatever they've been up to that they are excited about (could be a recent trip to Japan or some new plantings in their garden or a new hobby or whatever). But I don't enjoy when family member or friends engage in pissing contests over anything but especially something like travel where this can easily devolve into who traveled the most or the furthest or went to the most impressive/rare place.

My family doesn't do this with travel but recently got into this pattern with charitable activity. Now I of course am very supportive of all their charitable activity! But some recent family gatherings have become weirdly competitive with people talking about their charitable activity in a competitive way and explicitly trying to top one another and impress one another with how much they are giving or volunteering. It's really weird!

My response to conversations like this is to not participate and look for ways to change the subject or exit the convo. It's the competitive vibe and one-upsmanship that is the problem, not the actual subject of conversation which is essentially neutral.

I’m a travel enthusiast. I don’t think it is a pissing contest when people share travel plans or stories. Maybe it sounds like this to a third party who isn’t engaging. I’m very passionate about travel and get excited talking about it.

We recently went to a Taylor swift concert. My daughter loves Taylor swift. I remember telling my daughter not to brag. She was so excited before and after the concert. She doesn’t know or care how much tickets cost. Her friends may have been also excited to go to Disney or their grandparents house in Michigan to spend with their cousins.

I’m confused. Why would someone brag about attending a Taylor Swift concert?

All of her friends like Taylor swift. Not everyone can drop 10k for a concert.

In this area? I’m surprised.

You obviously are not a TS fan or you would know that she didn’t come to DC. You had to travel to see her. Tickets have been sold out. You had to be lucky to get in a virtual queue to buy tickets. Most people pay thousands of dollars on the secondary market and pay peak travel prices and hotel. Have you not heard of the Taylor swift effect? She raises the economy wherever she goes.

I was in Europe for the summer and heard that getting tickets was no big deal. But I can’t imagine putting in the effort that you did to see an entertainer. And if I did, I can’t imagine having to caution my child not to brag about it. Rather, I think I would explain that we shouldn’t talk about it for fear of potential embarrassment for our unhinged obsession with an overrated entertainer.

You do realize she is currently the most popular artist in the world.

You must not have a tween/teen daughter. I took my elementary daughter and she will remember this concert for the rest of her life.

We were also in Europe and Asia this summer if that is your flex.

Not sure what “flex” means. Are you the tween? It’s sad you think a concert is a highlight of your daughter’s life. Aim higher PP. And let me guess? You visited Iceland, Portugal and Japan this year, just like every other wannabe in the DMV. What a cliche, the OP is right!

Imagine that, people do treat concerts and performances as the highlight of their lives. I saw Aretha Franklin perform live less than a year before her death. That's not a highlight? And what are you highlights, watching Commanders?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are misinterpreting OP's complaint. I don't see OP saying that any discussion of travel should be avoided, but specifically that "pissing contests" over travel are annoying and unpleasant. To me this is a distinct thing. I love hearing about others' travels or whatever they've been up to that they are excited about (could be a recent trip to Japan or some new plantings in their garden or a new hobby or whatever). But I don't enjoy when family member or friends engage in pissing contests over anything but especially something like travel where this can easily devolve into who traveled the most or the furthest or went to the most impressive/rare place.

My family doesn't do this with travel but recently got into this pattern with charitable activity. Now I of course am very supportive of all their charitable activity! But some recent family gatherings have become weirdly competitive with people talking about their charitable activity in a competitive way and explicitly trying to top one another and impress one another with how much they are giving or volunteering. It's really weird!

My response to conversations like this is to not participate and look for ways to change the subject or exit the convo. It's the competitive vibe and one-upsmanship that is the problem, not the actual subject of conversation which is essentially neutral.

I’m a travel enthusiast. I don’t think it is a pissing contest when people share travel plans or stories. Maybe it sounds like this to a third party who isn’t engaging. I’m very passionate about travel and get excited talking about it.

We recently went to a Taylor swift concert. My daughter loves Taylor swift. I remember telling my daughter not to brag. She was so excited before and after the concert. She doesn’t know or care how much tickets cost. Her friends may have been also excited to go to Disney or their grandparents house in Michigan to spend with their cousins.

I’m confused. Why would someone brag about attending a Taylor Swift concert?

All of her friends like Taylor swift. Not everyone can drop 10k for a concert.

In this area? I’m surprised.

You obviously are not a TS fan or you would know that she didn’t come to DC. You had to travel to see her. Tickets have been sold out. You had to be lucky to get in a virtual queue to buy tickets. Most people pay thousands of dollars on the secondary market and pay peak travel prices and hotel. Have you not heard of the Taylor swift effect? She raises the economy wherever she goes.

I was in Europe for the summer and heard that getting tickets was no big deal. But I can’t imagine putting in the effort that you did to see an entertainer. And if I did, I can’t imagine having to caution my child not to brag about it. Rather, I think I would explain that we shouldn’t talk about it for fear of potential embarrassment for our unhinged obsession with an overrated entertainer.

You do realize she is currently the most popular artist in the world.

You must not have a tween/teen daughter. I took my elementary daughter and she will remember this concert for the rest of her life.

We were also in Europe and Asia this summer if that is your flex.

Not sure what “flex” means. Are you the tween? It’s sad you think a concert is a highlight of your daughter’s life. Aim higher PP. And let me guess? You visited Iceland, Portugal and Japan this year, just like every other wannabe in the DMV. What a cliche, the OP is right!

Imagine that, people do treat concerts and performances as the highlight of their lives. I saw Aretha Franklin perform live less than a year before her death. That's not a highlight? And what are you highlights, watching Commanders?

What are the Commanders?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are misinterpreting OP's complaint. I don't see OP saying that any discussion of travel should be avoided, but specifically that "pissing contests" over travel are annoying and unpleasant. To me this is a distinct thing. I love hearing about others' travels or whatever they've been up to that they are excited about (could be a recent trip to Japan or some new plantings in their garden or a new hobby or whatever). But I don't enjoy when family member or friends engage in pissing contests over anything but especially something like travel where this can easily devolve into who traveled the most or the furthest or went to the most impressive/rare place.

My family doesn't do this with travel but recently got into this pattern with charitable activity. Now I of course am very supportive of all their charitable activity! But some recent family gatherings have become weirdly competitive with people talking about their charitable activity in a competitive way and explicitly trying to top one another and impress one another with how much they are giving or volunteering. It's really weird!

My response to conversations like this is to not participate and look for ways to change the subject or exit the convo. It's the competitive vibe and one-upsmanship that is the problem, not the actual subject of conversation which is essentially neutral.

I’m a travel enthusiast. I don’t think it is a pissing contest when people share travel plans or stories. Maybe it sounds like this to a third party who isn’t engaging. I’m very passionate about travel and get excited talking about it.

We recently went to a Taylor swift concert. My daughter loves Taylor swift. I remember telling my daughter not to brag. She was so excited before and after the concert. She doesn’t know or care how much tickets cost. Her friends may have been also excited to go to Disney or their grandparents house in Michigan to spend with their cousins.

I’m confused. Why would someone brag about attending a Taylor Swift concert?

All of her friends like Taylor swift. Not everyone can drop 10k for a concert.

In this area? I’m surprised.

You obviously are not a TS fan or you would know that she didn’t come to DC. You had to travel to see her. Tickets have been sold out. You had to be lucky to get in a virtual queue to buy tickets. Most people pay thousands of dollars on the secondary market and pay peak travel prices and hotel. Have you not heard of the Taylor swift effect? She raises the economy wherever she goes.

I was in Europe for the summer and heard that getting tickets was no big deal. But I can’t imagine putting in the effort that you did to see an entertainer. And if I did, I can’t imagine having to caution my child not to brag about it. Rather, I think I would explain that we shouldn’t talk about it for fear of potential embarrassment for our unhinged obsession with an overrated entertainer.

You do realize she is currently the most popular artist in the world.

You must not have a tween/teen daughter. I took my elementary daughter and she will remember this concert for the rest of her life.

We were also in Europe and Asia this summer if that is your flex.

Not sure what “flex” means. Are you the tween? It’s sad you think a concert is a highlight of your daughter’s life. Aim higher PP. And let me guess? You visited Iceland, Portugal and Japan this year, just like every other wannabe in the DMV. What a cliche, the OP is right!

Not sure what your problem is. I took my daughter to see her favorite artist and we both had a fantastic time. I have been to many concerts and shows in my life and being able to experience this with my daughter is one of the top experiences of my life.

I’m sure you may be able to call others wannabes, but I’m not one of those. We travel often and well. I won’t apologize for it. I want my child to be kind and humble. I didn’t want her to brag about it. That is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family will skimp on clothes (no brand names), our furniture is from IKEA, we drive economy cars, but we love to travel. Our main hobbies are scuba diving, hiking and mountain biking. So yes, we will "brag" and so do our friends. I don't understand homebodies, one can see the world on any budget.

Not any budget. Many people can barely afford to eat every day much less ever own a car and say they skimp by driving economy cars. I get your point even though your hobbies are somewhat expensive, but there are people that turn these activities into reflections that are tone deaf. Like the mom I met who said she appreciated the happiness of poor people and loveliness of being around animals after doing her 3rd safari tour staying in luxurious accommodations and being led by a guide.

Why all the shaming? So the mom can travel to her 3rd safari, so what? Why is everyone so offended all of a sudden? Did she steal her travel money? Or she should've not gone anywhere and "could've helped the less fortunate"?

Oh and "many people can barefly afford to eat every day"...no offense, but there are a lot of programs to feed the hungry. I regularly donate to our local food back and you should hear the stories about how picky some people are. There are free lunches at schools for those who qualify too.

Yes, my hobbies are expensive, I like them, I pay for them, I don't borrow or whine or b*** about how expensive things are. I'd rather travel the world than sit on my ass whining.

It's not that. It's pretending you are very thrifty when you are only thrifty about some things and make up for it with luxury on others. You are discriminating with money, not thrifty just because you don't buy luxury everything. It's pretending that the people who greet you on Safari are happy being poor when it's literally their job to be happy and welcoming and likely they could be struggling a lot. It's romanticizing poverty and acting like you understand the people just because you met some of them at a tourist destination.

You sound tone deaf on the affordability of America and the world and not someone who can understand why not everyone can afford a trip if they just save a little bit buy not buying luxury for everything.

Ugh. So I should give up my "wants" to make you or the "rest of the world" feel better about themselves? So let's stop travel. Altogether. Let's make sure countries who live off hospitality industry don't make a dime off "the rich and spoiled and tone deaf" Americans or Europeans. By the way, how much are you donating to the poor? How are you fixing poverty? Don't be shy, it is an anonymous forum after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are misinterpreting OP's complaint. I don't see OP saying that any discussion of travel should be avoided, but specifically that "pissing contests" over travel are annoying and unpleasant. To me this is a distinct thing. I love hearing about others' travels or whatever they've been up to that they are excited about (could be a recent trip to Japan or some new plantings in their garden or a new hobby or whatever). But I don't enjoy when family member or friends engage in pissing contests over anything but especially something like travel where this can easily devolve into who traveled the most or the furthest or went to the most impressive/rare place.

My family doesn't do this with travel but recently got into this pattern with charitable activity. Now I of course am very supportive of all their charitable activity! But some recent family gatherings have become weirdly competitive with people talking about their charitable activity in a competitive way and explicitly trying to top one another and impress one another with how much they are giving or volunteering. It's really weird!

My response to conversations like this is to not participate and look for ways to change the subject or exit the convo. It's the competitive vibe and one-upsmanship that is the problem, not the actual subject of conversation which is essentially neutral.

I’m a travel enthusiast. I don’t think it is a pissing contest when people share travel plans or stories. Maybe it sounds like this to a third party who isn’t engaging. I’m very passionate about travel and get excited talking about it.

We recently went to a Taylor swift concert. My daughter loves Taylor swift. I remember telling my daughter not to brag. She was so excited before and after the concert. She doesn’t know or care how much tickets cost. Her friends may have been also excited to go to Disney or their grandparents house in Michigan to spend with their cousins.

I’m confused. Why would someone brag about attending a Taylor Swift concert?

All of her friends like Taylor swift. Not everyone can drop 10k for a concert.

In this area? I’m surprised.

You obviously are not a TS fan or you would know that she didn’t come to DC. You had to travel to see her. Tickets have been sold out. You had to be lucky to get in a virtual queue to buy tickets. Most people pay thousands of dollars on the secondary market and pay peak travel prices and hotel. Have you not heard of the Taylor swift effect? She raises the economy wherever she goes.

I was in Europe for the summer and heard that getting tickets was no big deal. But I can’t imagine putting in the effort that you did to see an entertainer. And if I did, I can’t imagine having to caution my child not to brag about it. Rather, I think I would explain that we shouldn’t talk about it for fear of potential embarrassment for our unhinged obsession with an overrated entertainer.

You do realize she is currently the most popular artist in the world.

You must not have a tween/teen daughter. I took my elementary daughter and she will remember this concert for the rest of her life.

We were also in Europe and Asia this summer if that is your flex.

Not sure what “flex” means. Are you the tween? It’s sad you think a concert is a highlight of your daughter’s life. Aim higher PP. And let me guess? You visited Iceland, Portugal and Japan this year, just like every other wannabe in the DMV. What a cliche, the OP is right!

Imagine that, people do treat concerts and performances as the highlight of their lives. I saw Aretha Franklin perform live less than a year before her death. That's not a highlight? And what are you highlights, watching Commanders?

What are the Commanders?

DC-based football team. They suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family will skimp on clothes (no brand names), our furniture is from IKEA, we drive economy cars, but we love to travel. Our main hobbies are scuba diving, hiking and mountain biking. So yes, we will "brag" and so do our friends. I don't understand homebodies, one can see the world on any budget.

Not any budget. Many people can barely afford to eat every day much less ever own a car and say they skimp by driving economy cars. I get your point even though your hobbies are somewhat expensive, but there are people that turn these activities into reflections that are tone deaf. Like the mom I met who said she appreciated the happiness of poor people and loveliness of being around animals after doing her 3rd safari tour staying in luxurious accommodations and being led by a guide.

Why all the shaming? So the mom can travel to her 3rd safari, so what? Why is everyone so offended all of a sudden? Did she steal her travel money? Or she should've not gone anywhere and "could've helped the less fortunate"?

Oh and "many people can barefly afford to eat every day"...no offense, but there are a lot of programs to feed the hungry. I regularly donate to our local food back and you should hear the stories about how picky some people are. There are free lunches at schools for those who qualify too.

Yes, my hobbies are expensive, I like them, I pay for them, I don't borrow or whine or b*** about how expensive things are. I'd rather travel the world than sit on my ass whining.

It's not that. It's pretending you are very thrifty when you are only thrifty about some things and make up for it with luxury on others. You are discriminating with money, not thrifty just because you don't buy luxury everything. It's pretending that the people who greet you on Safari are happy being poor when it's literally their job to be happy and welcoming and likely they could be struggling a lot. It's romanticizing poverty and acting like you understand the people just because you met some of them at a tourist destination.

You sound tone deaf on the affordability of America and the world and not someone who can understand why not everyone can afford a trip if they just save a little bit buy not buying luxury for everything.

Ugh. So I should give up my "wants" to make you or the "rest of the world" feel better about themselves? So let's stop travel. Altogether. Let's make sure countries who live off hospitality industry don't make a dime off "the rich and spoiled and tone deaf" Americans or Europeans. By the way, how much are you donating to the poor? How are you fixing poverty? Don't be shy, it is an anonymous forum after all.

No, just stop acting pretentious because of your wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are misinterpreting OP's complaint. I don't see OP saying that any discussion of travel should be avoided, but specifically that "pissing contests" over travel are annoying and unpleasant. To me this is a distinct thing. I love hearing about others' travels or whatever they've been up to that they are excited about (could be a recent trip to Japan or some new plantings in their garden or a new hobby or whatever). But I don't enjoy when family member or friends engage in pissing contests over anything but especially something like travel where this can easily devolve into who traveled the most or the furthest or went to the most impressive/rare place.

My family doesn't do this with travel but recently got into this pattern with charitable activity. Now I of course am very supportive of all their charitable activity! But some recent family gatherings have become weirdly competitive with people talking about their charitable activity in a competitive way and explicitly trying to top one another and impress one another with how much they are giving or volunteering. It's really weird!

My response to conversations like this is to not participate and look for ways to change the subject or exit the convo. It's the competitive vibe and one-upsmanship that is the problem, not the actual subject of conversation which is essentially neutral.

I’m a travel enthusiast. I don’t think it is a pissing contest when people share travel plans or stories. Maybe it sounds like this to a third party who isn’t engaging. I’m very passionate about travel and get excited talking about it.

We recently went to a Taylor swift concert. My daughter loves Taylor swift. I remember telling my daughter not to brag. She was so excited before and after the concert. She doesn’t know or care how much tickets cost. Her friends may have been also excited to go to Disney or their grandparents house in Michigan to spend with their cousins.

I’m confused. Why would someone brag about attending a Taylor Swift concert?

All of her friends like Taylor swift. Not everyone can drop 10k for a concert.

In this area? I’m surprised.

You obviously are not a TS fan or you would know that she didn’t come to DC. You had to travel to see her. Tickets have been sold out. You had to be lucky to get in a virtual queue to buy tickets. Most people pay thousands of dollars on the secondary market and pay peak travel prices and hotel. Have you not heard of the Taylor swift effect? She raises the economy wherever she goes.

I was in Europe for the summer and heard that getting tickets was no big deal. But I can’t imagine putting in the effort that you did to see an entertainer. And if I did, I can’t imagine having to caution my child not to brag about it. Rather, I think I would explain that we shouldn’t talk about it for fear of potential embarrassment for our unhinged obsession with an overrated entertainer.

You do realize she is currently the most popular artist in the world.

You must not have a tween/teen daughter. I took my elementary daughter and she will remember this concert for the rest of her life.

We were also in Europe and Asia this summer if that is your flex.

Not sure what “flex” means. Are you the tween? It’s sad you think a concert is a highlight of your daughter’s life. Aim higher PP. And let me guess? You visited Iceland, Portugal and Japan this year, just like every other wannabe in the DMV. What a cliche, the OP is right!

Imagine that, people do treat concerts and performances as the highlight of their lives. I saw Aretha Franklin perform live less than a year before her death. That's not a highlight? And what are you highlights, watching Commanders?

What are the Commanders?

DC-based football team. They suck.

Thanks. Is attending one of their matches brag worthy? If no, Taylor Swift Mom won’t want to go!