What should college dc be told about our divorce? DH is cheating and leaving to pursue a relationship with his mistress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry, OP. My DH went through this with his parents when he was a kid. His dad has lied and lied about it for years. Even now, 30 years later. His mom has always been calm and truthful about it so he is much closer to her. His dad dug his own grave.

Your kid is lucky to have you.

+1
Your DH is going to look like a buffoon.

For my kid's sake I don't even want that. I just want to move forward peacefully. I really do hope my stbx finds some peace and happiness. For that to happen he's going to have to start digging deep. Maybe I should give him a silver shovel as a lovely parting gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your child the truth ...
If he/she doesn't know already.

OP here - Well this thread was started 3 weeks ago.....not to be a jerk but if you had read through any of this you would see that stbx told our kid immediately. He couldn't wait to break the news. I was not included in that decision which is now having repercussions for stbx. Not my problem.

Update from me: DH served me with divorce papers this week but I had already spent last week interviewing lawyers and I paid my retainer last Friday, so my attorney is dealing with his and she will update me when there's anything I need to start doing. I'm not freaking out. Based on conversations with several lawyers I will not be screwed financially. I have minimal communication with stbx. He's suddenly trying to be nice about certain things. Because I basically gave him no reaction when he said he wants a divorce, other than "ok", he now seems to be working hard to get my attention and show me that he's actually a really good guy. To which I say(in my head): spare me, and save it for your girlfriend. I'm saving my energy for my legal battle, taking care of myself, and MOST IMPORTANTLY for our kid.

Take him to the cleaners! Good for you for staying so calm. He's only trying to play nice so he can pay you as little as possible with as little trouble as possible. I know you won't fall for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your child the truth ...
If he/she doesn't know already.

OP here - Well this thread was started 3 weeks ago.....not to be a jerk but if you had read through any of this you would see that stbx told our kid immediately. He couldn't wait to break the news. I was not included in that decision which is now having repercussions for stbx. Not my problem.

Update from me: DH served me with divorce papers this week but I had already spent last week interviewing lawyers and I paid my retainer last Friday, so my attorney is dealing with his and she will update me when there's anything I need to start doing. I'm not freaking out. Based on conversations with several lawyers I will not be screwed financially. I have minimal communication with stbx. He's suddenly trying to be nice about certain things. Because I basically gave him no reaction when he said he wants a divorce, other than "ok", he now seems to be working hard to get my attention and show me that he's actually a really good guy. To which I say(in my head): spare me, and save it for your girlfriend. I'm saving my energy for my legal battle, taking care of myself, and MOST IMPORTANTLY for our kid.

Congratulations OP for your ability to navigate this practically and logically and unemotionally. You’re unintentionally doing the “180” that’s mentioned from time to time. Nothing bothers a wayward, cheating spouse more than believing that their cheated on spouse is willing to let the marriage go without playing the pick me dance. So keep it up and take the high road and I think you are going to be able to look back at this time with your head held high.

I would not be at all surprised if at some point in the not so distant future your husband tries to get you back. Let’s make some bets and get out some popcorn.

Good luck next week when your kid comes home. Lots of us are vested in your story so please update from time to time.

Thank you for your kindness! I really appreciate it. As for my stbx trying to get me back I say OH GOD NO THAT CANNOT HAPPEN NOW. I have set an intention to the universe to have some great sex at some point this year. So I'm afraid that scenario just won't be possible. 🤣🍿

Girl, the year is running out! Get yours!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To which I say(in my head): spare me, and save it for your girlfriend. I'm saving my energy for my legal battle, taking care of myself, and MOST IMPORTANTLY for our kid.

Well said. Support your kid and keep the faith that better days are ahead.

[Anonymous]

Have that cheating spouse explain