Be honest. Would you marry a guy making $160K at 55?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:A guy who checks all the boxes but is only in the top 10% of earners?!? Kick him to the curb OP and make sure he knows that you’re a 1% gal.

Christ on a cracker you’re horrible

Well yes, I was married to a 1% guy and am top 5% myself. Most of my friends and family are 1%ers so I have a distorted perspective. I am proud to be with him. However, he will be the lowest earning of all my circle’s male spouses and I don’t want him or me to feel judged or out of place when we socialize. I guess we could find new friends who are less wealthy.

dp.. yes, your friends sound horribly judgemental and snobby if you think they will be judgy about his income.

Do you all discuss your incomes when you're socializing? Interesting.

It's not about discussing your income or being snobby. The fact is that if your incomes are wildly different, you will be living different lives. You will eat out in different places, seek out different entertainment options, you will travel and dress differently. And if you make more than your partner, then your choices are two, and none very attractive:

a. Become content with downgrading and eat, travel and recreate the way your partner does, or
b. Become content with paying for him for the way you eat, travel and recreate.

Some women won't be content with either of these, and that's why it matters.

There’s a third option which is to eat, travel and recreate at the higher level you can achieve by combining incomes, but which is still not as high as your higher earning friends/family.

How does this math work? Alone you can afford (for the sake of the argument) St Barth in Ritz Carlton. Your partner can only afford Pittsburg in Holiday Inn. By pooling resources, you can afford something better than Holiday Inn but worse than St Barth. For you, it's a downgrade.

Are you dense? If you can afford SB at RC alone then add on whatever he brings in you can do at least as well. You don’t take the average you take the sum. How are you this dumb?

He doesn’t make enough to fly to SB and I’d have pay for two.

You're insane. I've taken six international trips and eight domestic trips over the last two years, and stayed some of the time in real 5-star hotels, while making an income about $10,000 higher than OP's boyfriend. $160k provides plenty of room for nice vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$160,000 a year is more than 88% of the families in this country make. If you're coupled and making $300,000 a year, youre making more money than 96% of the country.

LOL at a forum of divorced, fat, 58 year old women saying his salary is a deal breaker. B&tch, he doesn't want your money or even to live with you. He wants your mouth on his junk 5 times a week and that is it.

This is the truth. I feel bad for men. They put up with so much drama from flighty, unreasonable women. All they want is someone kind, thin and mental chaos free, who likes sex. Women want 755,000 things and will still want to cause you mental anguish out of spite.

[Anonymous]

OP, who are you people?

[Anonymous]

I probably wouldn't, unless he was retired, and that was a 2% drawdown of assets. The bigger question is whether I'd marry anyone new at 55, and the answer is no. I'd rather date or be committed but not married at that age. I have plenty of money, and I wouldn't want to lose it for myself or my kids.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course. What a strange question!

I can run a household and save money for retirement, college and some extras in 120K easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I probably wouldn't, unless he was retired, and that was a 2% drawdown of assets. The bigger question is whether I'd marry anyone new at 55, and the answer is no. I'd rather date or be committed but not married at that age. I have plenty of money, and I wouldn't want to lose it for myself or my kids.

There are ways to protect premarital assets.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you independently wealthy? Or used to be at some point in your life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I probably wouldn't, unless he was retired, and that was a 2% drawdown of assets. The bigger question is whether I'd marry anyone new at 55, and the answer is no. I'd rather date or be committed but not married at that age. I have plenty of money, and I wouldn't want to lose it for myself or my kids.

There are ways to protect premarital assets.

The best way to protect your assets is to avoid marriage. What's the benefit of marrying if you're not having children together and the person isn't a financial equal or better?

[Anonymous]

I did. We’re very happy together. We are equals in our relationship and he takes me for who I am - imperfections and all. I make more, but it doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

absolutely not. I need at least that much to buy clothes and keep myself looking good😉

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No man has ever asked himself if he should mary a 55 year old woman who “only” makes $160K.

If anything, this thread illustrates why older men often marry younger women from “lower” socioeconomic backgrounds.

Oh- they consider us a catch (women 55 with that salary)! $180k with 2 million in my retirement account; no debt.

Many were married to women that never worked and had to shell out alimony to them.

[Anonymous]

Yes! If you're on the fence, send him my way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No man has ever asked himself if he should mary a 55 year old woman who “only” makes $160K.

If anything, this thread illustrates why older men often marry younger women from “lower” socioeconomic backgrounds.

Oh- they consider us a catch (women 55 with that salary)! $180k with 2 million in my retirement account; no debt.

Many were married to women that never worked and had to shell out alimony to them.

May I ask what they would consider a 45 yo woman with $4.5NW and $400K annual income?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No man has ever asked himself if he should mary a 55 year old woman who “only” makes $160K.

If anything, this thread illustrates why older men often marry younger women from “lower” socioeconomic backgrounds.

Oh- they consider us a catch (women 55 with that salary)! $180k with 2 million in my retirement account; no debt.

Many were married to women that never worked and had to shell out alimony to them.

May I ask what they would consider a 45 yo woman with $4.5NW and $400K annual income?

I mean, am I not marriageable at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you independently wealthy? Or used to be at some point in your life?

No, why?