Be honest. Would you marry a guy making $160K at 55?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one needs to marry at 55

THIS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one needs to marry at 55

THIS

Why not? You sound ageist!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I feel like a middle aged white guy with a college degree, a good brain and solid work ethic in a STEM field should be making over $200K these days but maybe I’m out of touch.

Yes you are.

In a STEM field lol. Will be replaced by AI in about 5 years or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I feel like a middle aged white guy with a college degree, a good brain and solid work ethic in a STEM field should be making over $200K these days but maybe I’m out of touch.

Yes you are.

In a STEM field lol. Will be replaced by AI in about 5 years or so.

Not this one. He will be running the AI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume he’s attractive and normal.

You are asking the wrong question. Do you like him? Love him? If not , than don't marry!

To me it’s still early. Only 4-5 months. But he says he loves me (with no pressure on me to reciprocate) and is talking about getting married. I’m stunned. I do love him.

Ask yourself: would you marry someone you loved less but liked well enough, if they made 5x his salary? If you can say yes without thinking about it, don't marry him.

Interesting thought experiment. I’ll try it. Thanks.

If you can say yes, I’m actually grossed out that I spent more than 3 minutes on this thread and will never get them back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume he’s attractive and normal.

You are asking the wrong question. Do you like him? Love him? If not , than don't marry!

To me it’s still early. Only 4-5 months. But he says he loves me (with no pressure on me to reciprocate) and is talking about getting married. I’m stunned. I do love him.

Ask yourself: would you marry someone you loved less but liked well enough, if they made 5x his salary? If you can say yes without thinking about it, don't marry him.

Interesting thought experiment. I’ll try it. Thanks.

If you can say yes, I’m actually grossed out that I spent more than 3 minutes on this thread and will never get them back.

Whatever. Money matters. Plenty of people consider it in a first marriage and a second marriage may not be different in that regard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy who checks all the boxes but is only in the top 10% of earners?!? Kick him to the curb OP and make sure he knows that you’re a 1% gal.

Christ on a cracker you’re horrible

Well yes, I was married to a 1% guy and am top 5% myself. Most of my friends and family are 1%ers so I have a distorted perspective. I am proud to be with him. However, he will be the lowest earning of all my circle’s male spouses and I don’t want him or me to feel judged or out of place when we socialize. I guess we could find new friends who are less wealthy.

Or you could stop evaluating people by their salaries. Find people with interesting conversation. People with values, a sense of humor, a passion for something other than expensive shit.

If that means finding new friends, wouldn’t you rather do that now than when circumstances change outside of your control? Have you learned nothing from reading this forum? Layoffs, health crises, market losses… do you think that can’t happen to you? Building your life and your personality around money is just so incredibly risky.

Everyone I associate with is interesting and has built their lives around meaningful work that makes a positive difference in the world. They just earn a lot doing it. It’s a myth that wealthy people are somehow always superficial and fatuous.

Who said “wealthy people are somehow always superficial and fatuous”?

Projection, maybe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assume he’s attractive and normal.

By 55 you should be wise enough and financially secure enough to not judge a potential partner by his income. If he has big debt, bad credit or lots of liabilities then that's not a burden you need in your life.

[Anonymous]

No man has ever asked himself if he should mary a 55 year old woman who “only” makes $160K.

If anything, this thread illustrates why older men often marry younger women from “lower” socioeconomic backgrounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume he’s attractive and normal.

You are asking the wrong question. Do you like him? Love him? If not , than don't marry!

To me it’s still early. Only 4-5 months. But he says he loves me (with no pressure on me to reciprocate) and is talking about getting married. I’m stunned. I do love him.

Ask yourself: would you marry someone you loved less but liked well enough, if they made 5x his salary? If you can say yes without thinking about it, don't marry him.

Interesting thought experiment. I’ll try it. Thanks.

If you can say yes, I’m actually grossed out that I spent more than 3 minutes on this thread and will never get them back.

Whatever. Money matters. Plenty of people consider it in a first marriage and a second marriage may not be different in that regard.

Money matters in the sense that you don’t want to be poor. It doesn’t matter in the sense of you should nix someone because they are only earning double the average salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assume he’s attractive and normal.

Are you sure that you are “normal”?

[Anonymous]

All the women I know who put salary at the top of the list are in MISERABLE relationships. They might have been happy for a bit, but eventually the nice lifestyle doesn’t make up for the issues between them.

$160k is a healthy salary for a single person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the women I know who put salary at the top of the list are in MISERABLE relationships. They might have been happy for a bit, but eventually the nice lifestyle doesn’t make up for the issues between them.

$160k is a healthy salary for a single person.

For most of the country outside the Beltway, $160k is at least double what most people would regard as a healthy salary.

[Anonymous]

Not marry. I would not marry anyone. I have all I need. BUT. If he is fun, good in bed, friendly, handy and adventurous, I will make him my boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the women I know who put salary at the top of the list are in MISERABLE relationships. They might have been happy for a bit, but eventually the nice lifestyle doesn’t make up for the issues between them.

$160k is a healthy salary for a single person.

For most of the country outside the Beltway, $160k is at least double what most people would regard as a healthy salary.

My college roommates are making 92K and 110k in Erie, Co. and Salem, Or., respectively. They are killing it, so to speak, at 45. Both of them had wives that stayed home the first 5 years with the kids. You can buy a SFH on a half acre there for about $350,000 and the schools are fantastic.