So much disappointment this week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Excuse me, mom, but what do you mean that YOU failed your child? Were you sitting on the admissions committee at top 5 schools, sabotaging his applications? Genuinely curious as to what role you think you played?

Well, in retrospect, maybe I should have hired a college coach, maybe I should have researched the connected summer programs that apparently the well connected know to do (but I only heard about after really getting into the admissions process), this will sound terrible but being 100% factual on the application was likely a mistake. After recently seeing studies on the numbers of white families declaring URM on applications and the boost it gives, and/or the activity embellishment I now see goes on in the common app, it's resets the baseline. As an international student said and stuck with me- "it astonishes me that in the US, the most competitive college system in the world, they do "holistic" reviews which are totally unverified and essentially rely on the honor system". It was the right thing to do but my child was a pretty strong comparative disadvantage as a result.

What studies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to.

So you know the class clowns' grades and test scores and everything about their applications to know they are less qualified than your son?

This. And if they are really the class clowns, they will not make it past freshman year. I’m one of the oddballs who is okay with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for all of you who bought into the BS that your kids have to go to an elite college or they are doomed to a life of mediocrity.

I feel bad for your kids for getting sucked into it, but as the adults you should've given them better guidance that all these top schools are a lottery. Even for kids with the over 4.0 and perfect test scores and all the ECs, they are are still looking at a 1 in 10 shot at getting in to these schools.

Yes, it sucks for the kids. Not because they didn't get in, but because they had unreasonable expectations of getting in. You should have told them to spend more time looking at "lesser" schools that they would be excited about getting accepted instead of framing it as a failure.

And all the comments about how the kids should've lied about their race, just wow. What's worse - not getting in to their top choice, or getting in only because they lied?

+100 Lots of students would be thrilled to go to schools some of these families deem a failure. Start figuring out what great opportunities are at those school, I'm sure you can find something if you approach it with an open mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of DC who applied last year. We said the same thing. The waitlists will move. They didn’t. Focus on the acceptances, have hope for the remaining, but don’t hold out for a waitlist. The chances are so small.

they may be small but still there, I know one kid from DC private that got off WL at Vandy in May couple of years ago

Yes, my friend's son got off WL at UPenn & Brown in 2020

2020, a year tons of kids got off waitlists because people changed plans due to covid, not to be confused with 2021 or, perhaps, 2022.

Kids got off WL a lot in 2021 too--maybe not as much at schools like Penn, Brown and Vanderbilt--but at a lot of other schools. Enrollment is just getting harder to predict as top kids are putting in so many apps.

The data in the list I posted earlier is based on 2021 WL.
https://admissionsight.com/the-odds-waitlisted-students-will-get-accepted/

Are you sure it's 2021? I notice that UCSB has a 96% waitlist acceptance rate which was the rate from 2020.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:CCO treats every school that’s 20% or less acceptance as a reach.

That's also just common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Excuse me, mom, but what do you mean that YOU failed your child? Were you sitting on the admissions committee at top 5 schools, sabotaging his applications? Genuinely curious as to what role you think you played?

Well, in retrospect, maybe I should have hired a college coach, maybe I should have researched the connected summer programs that apparently the well connected know to do (but I only heard about after really getting into the admissions process), this will sound terrible but being 100% factual on the application was likely a mistake. After recently seeing studies on the numbers of white families declaring URM on applications and the boost it gives, and/or the activity embellishment I now see goes on in the common app, it's resets the baseline. As an international student said and stuck with me- "it astonishes me that in the US, the most competitive college system in the world, they do "holistic" reviews which are totally unverified and essentially rely on the honor system". It was the right thing to do but my child was a pretty strong comparative disadvantage as a result.

You are sure full of excuses. Now you wish you had studied "college admissions of the rich and famous" more faithfully.

Maybe your kid is where he/she deserves to be. And maybe he/she will love it and excel there.

Can you let go of the victim mantra? It is not serving you or your child well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of DC who applied last year. We said the same thing. The waitlists will move. They didn’t. Focus on the acceptances, have hope for the remaining, but don’t hold out for a waitlist. The chances are so small.

they may be small but still there, I know one kid from DC private that got off WL at Vandy in May couple of years ago

Yes, my friend's son got off WL at UPenn & Brown in 2020

2020, a year tons of kids got off waitlists because people changed plans due to covid, not to be confused with 2021 or, perhaps, 2022.

Kids got off WL a lot in 2021 too--maybe not as much at schools like Penn, Brown and Vanderbilt--but at a lot of other schools. Enrollment is just getting harder to predict as top kids are putting in so many apps.

The data in the list I posted earlier is based on 2021 WL.
https://admissionsight.com/the-odds-waitlisted-students-will-get-accepted/

Are you sure it's 2021? I notice that UCSB has a 96% waitlist acceptance rate which was the rate from 2020.

I assumed they would put the most recent data since it was dated Dec 2021, and the one school I know had the correct numbers from 2021, but perhaps some schools didn't have updated data ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of DC who applied last year. We said the same thing. The waitlists will move. They didn’t. Focus on the acceptances, have hope for the remaining, but don’t hold out for a waitlist. The chances are so small.

they may be small but still there, I know one kid from DC private that got off WL at Vandy in May couple of years ago

Yes, my friend's son got off WL at UPenn & Brown in 2020

2020, a year tons of kids got off waitlists because people changed plans due to covid, not to be confused with 2021 or, perhaps, 2022.

Kids got off WL a lot in 2021 too--maybe not as much at schools like Penn, Brown and Vanderbilt--but at a lot of other schools. Enrollment is just getting harder to predict as top kids are putting in so many apps.

The data in the list I posted earlier is based on 2021 WL.
https://admissionsight.com/the-odds-waitlisted-students-will-get-accepted/

Are you sure it's 2021? I notice that UCSB has a 96% waitlist acceptance rate which was the rate from 2020.

I assumed they would put the most recent data since it was dated Dec 2021, and the one school I know had the correct numbers from 2021, but perhaps some schools didn't have updated data ?

.

This is definately the data from 2020 for Case

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Excuse me, mom, but what do you mean that YOU failed your child? Were you sitting on the admissions committee at top 5 schools, sabotaging his applications? Genuinely curious as to what role you think you played?

Well, in retrospect, maybe I should have hired a college coach, maybe I should have researched the connected summer programs that apparently the well connected know to do (but I only heard about after really getting into the admissions process), this will sound terrible but being 100% factual on the application was likely a mistake. After recently seeing studies on the numbers of white families declaring URM on applications and the boost it gives, and/or the activity embellishment I now see goes on in the common app, it's resets the baseline. As an international student said and stuck with me- "it astonishes me that in the US, the most competitive college system in the world, they do "holistic" reviews which are totally unverified and essentially rely on the honor system". It was the right thing to do but my child was a pretty strong comparative disadvantage as a result.

https://www.intelligent.com/34-of-white-college-students-lied-about-their-race-to-improve-chances-of-admission-financial-aid-benefits/


What studies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Excuse me, mom, but what do you mean that YOU failed your child? Were you sitting on the admissions committee at top 5 schools, sabotaging his applications? Genuinely curious as to what role you think you played?

Well, in retrospect, maybe I should have hired a college coach, maybe I should have researched the connected summer programs that apparently the well connected know to do (but I only heard about after really getting into the admissions process), this will sound terrible but being 100% factual on the application was likely a mistake. After recently seeing studies on the numbers of white families declaring URM on applications and the boost it gives, and/or the activity embellishment I now see goes on in the common app, it's resets the baseline. As an international student said and stuck with me- "it astonishes me that in the US, the most competitive college system in the world, they do "holistic" reviews which are totally unverified and essentially rely on the honor system". It was the right thing to do but my child was a pretty strong comparative disadvantage as a result.

https://www.intelligent.com/34-of-white-college-students-lied-about-their-race-to-improve-chances-of-admission-financial-aid-benefits/


What studies?

That's not a "study" -- that's a news organization doing a survey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Excuse me, mom, but what do you mean that YOU failed your child? Were you sitting on the admissions committee at top 5 schools, sabotaging his applications? Genuinely curious as to what role you think you played?

Well, in retrospect, maybe I should have hired a college coach, maybe I should have researched the connected summer programs that apparently the well connected know to do (but I only heard about after really getting into the admissions process), this will sound terrible but being 100% factual on the application was likely a mistake. After recently seeing studies on the numbers of white families declaring URM on applications and the boost it gives, and/or the activity embellishment I now see goes on in the common app, it's resets the baseline. As an international student said and stuck with me- "it astonishes me that in the US, the most competitive college system in the world, they do "holistic" reviews which are totally unverified and essentially rely on the honor system". It was the right thing to do but my child was a pretty strong comparative disadvantage as a result.

https://www.intelligent.com/34-of-white-college-students-lied-about-their-race-to-improve-chances-of-admission-financial-aid-benefits/


What studies?

That's not a "study" -- that's a news organization doing a survey.

A survey of only 1,250 people, selected who knows how.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for all of you who bought into the BS that your kids have to go to an elite college or they are doomed to a life of mediocrity.

I feel bad for your kids for getting sucked into it, but as the adults you should've given them better guidance that all these top schools are a lottery. Even for kids with the over 4.0 and perfect test scores and all the ECs, they are are still looking at a 1 in 10 shot at getting in to these schools.

Yes, it sucks for the kids. Not because they didn't get in, but because they had unreasonable expectations of getting in. You should have told them to spend more time looking at "lesser" schools that they would be excited about getting accepted instead of framing it as a failure.

And all the comments about how the kids should've lied about their race, just wow. What's worse - not getting in to their top choice, or getting in only because they lied?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't lose a minute of sleep over it because I don't think race or sexual preference has any place in college admissions.

I hope your kid has more integrity than you have.

Indeed. We're really lucky most of us have more integrity than this, or our society would be in more trouble than it already is. Good grief!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for all of you who bought into the BS that your kids have to go to an elite college or they are doomed to a life of mediocrity.

I feel bad for your kids for getting sucked into it, but as the adults you should've given them better guidance that all these top schools are a lottery. Even for kids with the over 4.0 and perfect test scores and all the ECs, they are are still looking at a 1 in 10 shot at getting in to these schools.

Yes, it sucks for the kids. Not because they didn't get in, but because they had unreasonable expectations of getting in. You should have told them to spend more time looking at "lesser" schools that they would be excited about getting accepted instead of framing it as a failure.

And all the comments about how the kids should've lied about their race, just wow. What's worse - not getting in to their top choice, or getting in only because they lied?

+1

Honestly, I think so many parents--while not willing to lie about race/ethnicity--seem willing to lie/have their kids lie about other things to increase their odds of grabbing the brass ring (i.e. top 25 college admissions)...Exhibit A. Fake Nonprofits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Excuse me, mom, but what do you mean that YOU failed your child? Were you sitting on the admissions committee at top 5 schools, sabotaging his applications? Genuinely curious as to what role you think you played?

Well, in retrospect, maybe I should have hired a college coach, maybe I should have researched the connected summer programs that apparently the well connected know to do (but I only heard about after really getting into the admissions process), this will sound terrible but being 100% factual on the application was likely a mistake. After recently seeing studies on the numbers of white families declaring URM on applications and the boost it gives, and/or the activity embellishment I now see goes on in the common app, it's resets the baseline. As an international student said and stuck with me- "it astonishes me that in the US, the most competitive college system in the world, they do "holistic" reviews which are totally unverified and essentially rely on the honor system". It was the right thing to do but my child was a pretty strong comparative disadvantage as a result.

What studies?

There are studies where white families declare they are URM - the families admit to it? Would love to see the cite.