So much disappointment this week

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

This is a sad post.

I hope your child has better luck on Ivy Day.

This happened to a family member. Encourage your child to find a coping mechanism to deal with unexpected rejection, go to the favorite safety, take the core, and apply to transfer to one of the schools he wants to go to.

Best to not go in with this plan. Being a transfer student is really hard (once you get in).

That’s NOT the experience of my kid’s friends who transferred - several did to following schools: UVA, Stanford, USC and others - and in every case the transferring student LOVED the new school and was extremely happy they transferred.

DP: On average, though, kids who transfer do struggle with a sense of belonging in the new school. I wouldn't say it's the ideal plan going into a school, unless you are doing a CC to 4 year transfer where there is a clear trajectory and considerable savings.

Additionally, once you’re a transfer student there’s realistically no going back. I mean people aren’t going to drop out their junior year or transfer again so you just have to put on a happy face if even you hate your new school.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Parent of DC who applied last year. We said the same thing. The waitlists will move. They didn’t. Focus on the acceptances, have hope for the remaining, but don’t hold out for a waitlist. The chances are so small.

they may be small but still there, I know one kid from DC private that got off WL at Vandy in May couple of years ago

Yes, my friend's son got off WL at UPenn & Brown in 2020

2020, a year tons of kids got off waitlists because people changed plans due to covid, not to be confused with 2021 or, perhaps, 2022.

Kids got off WL a lot in 2021 too--maybe not as much at schools like Penn, Brown and Vanderbilt--but at a lot of other schools. Enrollment is just getting harder to predict as top kids are putting in so many apps.

Am not familiar with a single kid who got off a WL in 2021 and I know a lot of kids, across many schools, in that class.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, me neither

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Parent of DC who applied last year. We said the same thing. The waitlists will move. They didn’t. Focus on the acceptances, have hope for the remaining, but don’t hold out for a waitlist. The chances are so small.

they may be small but still there, I know one kid from DC private that got off WL at Vandy in May couple of years ago

Yes, my friend's son got off WL at UPenn & Brown in 2020

2020, a year tons of kids got off waitlists because people changed plans due to covid, not to be confused with 2021 or, perhaps, 2022.

Kids got off WL a lot in 2021 too--maybe not as much at schools like Penn, Brown and Vanderbilt--but at a lot of other schools. Enrollment is just getting harder to predict as top kids are putting in so many apps.

Am not familiar with a single kid who got off a WL in 2021 and I know a lot of kids, across many schools, in that class.

Well, the data say otherwise.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Parent of DC who applied last year. We said the same thing. The waitlists will move. They didn’t. Focus on the acceptances, have hope for the remaining, but don’t hold out for a waitlist. The chances are so small.

they may be small but still there, I know one kid from DC private that got off WL at Vandy in May couple of years ago

Yes, my friend's son got off WL at UPenn & Brown in 2020

2020, a year tons of kids got off waitlists because people changed plans due to covid, not to be confused with 2021 or, perhaps, 2022.

Kids got off WL a lot in 2021 too--maybe not as much at schools like Penn, Brown and Vanderbilt--but at a lot of other schools. Enrollment is just getting harder to predict as top kids are putting in so many apps.

Am not familiar with a single kid who got off a WL in 2021 and I know a lot of kids, across many schools, in that class.

Well, the data say otherwise.

My DC currently has 5 WL results. I looked up prior years, and two of them took no one off the WL, one took 16 students out of thousands waitlisted, and the other two took 40% off the WL and 90% off the WL (meaning they did not WL many students and had a pretty good handle on what yield would be).

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Parent of DC who applied last year. We said the same thing. The waitlists will move. They didn’t. Focus on the acceptances, have hope for the remaining, but don’t hold out for a waitlist. The chances are so small.

they may be small but still there, I know one kid from DC private that got off WL at Vandy in May couple of years ago

Yes, my friend's son got off WL at UPenn & Brown in 2020

2020, a year tons of kids got off waitlists because people changed plans due to covid, not to be confused with 2021 or, perhaps, 2022.

Kids got off WL a lot in 2021 too--maybe not as much at schools like Penn, Brown and Vanderbilt--but at a lot of other schools. Enrollment is just getting harder to predict as top kids are putting in so many apps.

Am not familiar with a single kid who got off a WL in 2021 and I know a lot of kids, across many schools, in that class.

Well, the data say otherwise.

My DC currently has 5 WL results. I looked up prior years, and two of them took no one off the WL, one took 16 students out of thousands waitlisted, and the other two took 40% off the WL and 90% off the WL (meaning they did not WL many students and had a pretty good handle on what yield would be).

Yes, this is exactly what you should do--look at the actual schools you're waitlisted and their track record for the past few years. For some it's a reasonable chance, for others you should just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of DC who applied last year. We said the same thing. The waitlists will move. They didn’t. Focus on the acceptances, have hope for the remaining, but don’t hold out for a waitlist. The chances are so small.

they may be small but still there, I know one kid from DC private that got off WL at Vandy in May couple of years ago

Really depends on the school, in recent years VT has accepted thousands off the waitlist and Lehigh has accepted 90% who opted to stay on the WL. Those who are trying hard to increase their yield/reputation and struggle to manage enrollment put a LOT of people on the waitlist and accept a lot who choose to stay on it. Sometimes a school swings back and forth--under-enrolls one year and has to take a lot of the WL, overenrolls the next and doesn't take any. But some schools just use the WL as a strategy always. With students having 20+ schools on the CommonApp, it's getting harder for schools to predict who will attend (other than ED acceptances).

Here's a list with some stats that give at least a rough sense of the variation:
https://admissionsight.com/the-odds-waitlisted-students-will-get-accepted/

This waitlist was for 2020, which was an unusual year at many universities. For example, CWRU had a much higher than normal acceptance off the waitlist that year. Most years it is very small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of DC who applied last year. We said the same thing. The waitlists will move. They didn’t. Focus on the acceptances, have hope for the remaining, but don’t hold out for a waitlist. The chances are so small.

they may be small but still there, I know one kid from DC private that got off WL at Vandy in May couple of years ago

Really depends on the school, in recent years VT has accepted thousands off the waitlist and Lehigh has accepted 90% who opted to stay on the WL. Those who are trying hard to increase their yield/reputation and struggle to manage enrollment put a LOT of people on the waitlist and accept a lot who choose to stay on it. Sometimes a school swings back and forth--under-enrolls one year and has to take a lot of the WL, overenrolls the next and doesn't take any. But some schools just use the WL as a strategy always. With students having 20+ schools on the CommonApp, it's getting harder for schools to predict who will attend (other than ED acceptances).

Here's a list with some stats that give at least a rough sense of the variation:
https://admissionsight.com/the-odds-waitlisted-students-will-get-accepted/

This waitlist was for 2020, which was an unusual year at many universities. For example, CWRU had a much higher than normal acceptance off the waitlist that year. Most years it is very small.

This is data for Fall 2021 admissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Excuse me, mom, but what do you mean that YOU failed your child? Were you sitting on the admissions committee at top 5 schools, sabotaging his applications? Genuinely curious as to what role you think you played?

Well, in retrospect, maybe I should have hired a college coach, maybe I should have researched the connected summer programs that apparently the well connected know to do (but I only heard about after really getting into the admissions process), this will sound terrible but being 100% factual on the application was likely a mistake. After recently seeing studies on the numbers of white families declaring URM on applications and the boost it gives, and/or the activity embellishment I now see goes on in the common app, it's resets the baseline. As an international student said and stuck with me- "it astonishes me that in the US, the most competitive college system in the world, they do "holistic" reviews which are totally unverified and essentially rely on the honor system". It was the right thing to do but my child was a pretty strong comparative disadvantage as a result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Okay. You are supposed to be the adult here. It’s time to grow up and fake it until you make it. BTDT. My kid went from a largely Asian magnet high school and applied to SLACs. They are now attending their first choice, which is a great school and a great fit. My kid loves it and has had amazing opportunities. But most parents in my kid’s HS had never heard of the school and therefore assumed my kid had failed somehow because they were not attending a T30 with a nationally recognized name. And I got comments like, “why would you pay for a college no one has ever heard of”— which says more about their ignorance than my kid’s success in HS or lack thereof.

So, two part strategy:

1. Don’t get pulled into listing acceptances and rejections about immediate family and maybe on very close, non-catty supportive friend. Until a decision is made, say “Larlo has asked us not to discuss college admissions until has has made a decision.“. Then pivot to “does your kid know where they are going?”

2. Once a decision is made, put a smile on your face and fake enthusiasm. Look people in they eye, and say “Larlo has decided to attend Disappointment School and we are so excited for him.” You set the tone. Smile and look people in the eye. Refuse to apologize or admit disappointment or engage with cattiness. Buy the car sticker and the t- shirt. And remember your. Kid is watching and will take their cues about their college from you. So if you can’t find genuine pride and enthusiasm, yeah—fake it.

Plus, all the hard work was not for nothing. It was to prepare your kid to succeed in whatever college he attends.

This strategy is excellent. Wish I read it a month ago!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC - 3.97 unweighted GPA at TJ. Presidential scholar nominee. 36 ACT. National science award winner. Full pay. White.

Accepted early at UVA but waitlisted at Chicago (Chicago called before decisions were out and wanted a hard commit which we declined, which may have been a mistake),
Also waitlisted at Michigan, Carnegie Mellon. Rejected at Hopkins.

Waiting on Ivy day.

Trying to figure out if this is yield protection or this is just a lousy year.

At least you got into UVA. You should have gotten into every single one of those schools. Should not have checked White. Will keep my fingers crossed for you for Ivy day.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for all of you who bought into the BS that your kids have to go to an elite college or they are doomed to a life of mediocrity.

I feel bad for your kids for getting sucked into it, but as the adults you should've given them better guidance that all these top schools are a lottery. Even for kids with the over 4.0 and perfect test scores and all the ECs, they are are still looking at a 1 in 10 shot at getting in to these schools.

Yes, it sucks for the kids. Not because they didn't get in, but because they had unreasonable expectations of getting in. You should have told them to spend more time looking at "lesser" schools that they would be excited about getting accepted instead of framing it as a failure.

And all the comments about how the kids should've lied about their race, just wow. What's worse - not getting in to their top choice, or getting in only because they lied?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:.

And all the comments about how the kids should've lied about their race, just wow. What's worse - not getting in to their top choice, or getting in only because they lied?

I wouldn't lose a minute of sleep over it because I don't think race or sexual preference has any place in college admissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to.

So you know the class clowns' grades and test scores and everything about their applications to know they are less qualified than your son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't lose a minute of sleep over it because I don't think race or sexual preference has any place in college admissions.

I hope your kid has more integrity than you have.