what is the best wedding gift you received?

[Anonymous]

A family member is getting married soon and I am trying to figure out a nice wedding gift for her. We are close and I feel like the bar is high for this one. Not that we necessarily need to spend a ton but I want to get her something she will enjoy for years to come and that will be special for them. She has done a lot for me over the years and I'd like to do something nice for her to mark this occasion.

She has registered, but only for very basic stuff (inexpensive china for daily use, towels, and some inexpensive kitchen items.)

I am debating whether to try to ask her (indirectly) if there is something they want but did not register for (e.g., a piece of furniture for their new place, maybe an expensive kitchen appliance -- they both love to cook). But I don't know that I'll be able to get a suggestion out of her without being obvious about what I'm doing, and she would never ask me to buy her something $$$$.

Any suggestions? I know this is a personal thing and I need to think about her individually and what she might like, but I am hoping to get some ideas from those of you who received something you loved. Oh, and I don't want to give cash. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I guess I should have clarified that by kitchen appliance I mean something like a mixer -- not a dishwasher or refrigerator When my DH and I got married, we received some nice pots and pans from Williams & Sonoma and a Kitchenaid mixer. I have really enjoyed those more than things like fine china because we actually use them. Thanks again!

[Anonymous]

We like to give the big crate of spices from Penzey's.

[Anonymous]

A full set (8 each) of white and red wine goblets. After nearly 20 years of marriage I have put them to very good use

Not that I recommend doing this, but:

The most useful present we received was actually a second hand non-stick square brownie pan with a slide on metal lid, which we received from a sweet old couple that lived on my parents street. It gave us giggles at the time, believe me. However, we soon discovered it was perfect for grilling sliced veggies for fajitas. We just load it up with sliced onions and peppers, season, slide that lid on and stick it right on the grill. We have used it 100s of times, and still used it to this day. Who knew!

[Anonymous]

A friend of my FIL gave us rock cut beer mugs from Tiffany's. My husband is a big beer drinker so these are much more useful to us than fancy wine glasses or rocks glasses. We have used the same idea for several of our friends and just adjust the type of glass to the preferences of the bride and groom. They aren't crazy expensive so you can get 4-6 for about $200. Its something that we would never buy for ourselves but a fun reminder of our wedding when we use them and what girl doesn't love to open a big blue box?

For my best friend's wedding, I did a "something old, something new" themed gift and got her four different gifts. One of them was wine glasses from Tiffany's (something blue) and she really loved the idea and all of the thought that went into the various gifts.

[Anonymous]

They registered for items that they want, so buying a big ticket item off their registry is never a bad idea. We were also blown away by a check from DH's aunt and uncle--no idea they would be so generous. If your impulse is to be generous but you don't know what to get, there's nothing wrong with a check or gift card to where they are registered. They would probably be thrilled.

Of our non-registered gifts, we received a three pack of Mumm Napa sparkling wine that was wonderful. Just our thing, and not something we could afford at the time.

[Anonymous]

What is their situation? Are they trying to avoid duplication of things they already have because they are merging two households?

We did that...so we didn't even register.

But what would be great, is to buy her a nice set of table linens. Tablecloth, placemats, napkins, runner...maybe even a few serving dishes depending on your budget. Stuff for entertaining that wasn't from my 'acquired in college' collection of stuff was very much appreciated. (My BFF got me a wooden salad bowl and matching serving platters - we use them all the time.) We did end up with an overflow of wine glasses - they probably have some already.

Alternately, a gift card to someplace like Crate and Barrel would be helpful. Then they can 'upgrade' some of their stuff when they feel ready.

[Anonymous]

If they love to cook, they may already have a KA mixer. Are they registered at one place? I think a big fat gift card would be nice; they could indulge in something they didn't want to put on the registry.

It's nice that you want to show how much you appreciate it, and this is a good opportunity, but it isn't your only opportunity. Don't get hung up on the wedding present -- you have a lifetime to strengthen this relationship, via thoughtful presents and other means.

[Anonymous]

Our best presents were a Cuisinart, a really nice knife set, and an iPod. This was back before everyone had an iPod and it probably would have been years before we bought one.

Not that I recommend an iPod, but maybe there's some other non-traditional gift that would be really useful?

Oh, and my little brother's getting married in a week and we are giving him $500. It's actually a stretch for us but they are way more "starting out" than we are and I think they will really be able to use it.

[Anonymous]

Really good knives. A set would be expensive, but if they enjoy cooking and don't already have a great chef's knife, if they are anything like me, it's something they would appreciate for years to come.

I also appreciated gifts that weren't on the registry, but which I could tell a lot of thought went into -- things like a unique serving dish from some boutique that coordinated with the dishes we had registered for. Bonus points if it somehow represented the relationship I had with the gift giver (i.e. pottery from a town we had visited together, beer glasses from our buddy who would bring us home brew all the time).

I love our fancy glassware, nice pots, and kitchen appliances too, but ten years later, I couldn't tell you who gave them to us.

[Anonymous]

Our best non-registry items were gift certificates for things on our honeymoon. We went on a cruise, so one family got us ship credit and another couple got us a gift card to a pricey restaurant at one of the stops (enough to cover the meal). Very much appreciated since we were on a tight budget and would not have otherwise splurged like that on our own.

[Anonymous]

My husband

[Anonymous]

All Clad.

[Anonymous]

Second the rec for really good knives, and a nice set of coordinating table linens.

But the best one I got was something I didn't think to ask for: a set of cut crystal cocktail glasses. Tumblers? Highballs? Not sure. Anyway, the kind of glasses that you would use to serve scotch neat, or a cocktail with ice. They're not fussy; very elegant and very practical. Far more practical than the wine glasses that were all broken and forgotten by our 5th anniversary. I bring them out for company and get lots of compliments.

[Anonymous]

A tool box full of tools. We still use it all the time. We also loved our Penzey's crate, though I think they tend to have too may spice blends and not enough plain spices in those.