Crazy shit your parents did

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother begged my mom to let him ride in the trunk of the car. So she let him. Of course, then I wanted to try it too. Actually pretty terrifying. It was only down the street to the store, but I always think about what would have happened if someone saw us or we had an accident or whatever.

My mom did the same thing! I'm a child of the 80's and grew up in NYC- upper west side- not far from needle park for anyone who remembers. Anyway, my mom thought nothing of us in the trunk and no one looked twice at us coming & going out of the car trunk! She was soooo hands off (an attorney with 5 kids), my father ran his own business so he was always working. We would come home and were lackey kids until whenever they came home.
Once my brother, cousin and I were playing in the dryer, we were between the ages 6-8 and home alone. I got stuck inside with the dryer while it was running (I vividly remember tumbling around hahaha) and my brother had to call the racketball club my mom was at. She was so pissed because she had to leave her game early and lost. She said next time just unplug it!

My father once left 2 of my brothers and I in a car for a few hours- I don't remember it because I was only 3 years old but my older brother does and loves to bring it up.

I always got straight A's growing up and was a nerdy goody goody so my parents would sent my oldest brother for parent/ teacher conference. Only problem was this particular brother was a high school drop-out with a record. Spent the time flirting with my teachers, not exactly ideal. Siiigh the funny memories!

[Anonymous]

Nothing too crazy, but my mom used to *regularly* leave me at home after dinner starting at about 8/9 to go to our neighborhood bar (Tunnicliff's). Like, um, priorities??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad used to scream in my face that I was ugly. I was 4, 5 years old at the time.

When I was 9 he started screaming--in front of me and a houseful of guests we had for Thanksgiving--that I was ugly and "no one would ever take me to prom"--said in a tone that implied that not going to prom was, like, truly tragic.

When I got engaged to DH, I called my dad (my mom is dead) to tell him that "SoandSo proposed!" He snickered and said, "with what? a ring? to really get married?" like implying it was fake or DH was leading me on or joking me or something.

Dad is a shithead.

My dad would announce to the family if I had gained or lost any weight, opening up the floor for comments from my younger sisters. they'd buy cookies and ice cream and let me eat some every day and then scream at me for being "fat". I was actually always on the thin side but my family are very very thin and pretty while I was only thinnish and average. Dad and mom are shitheads here too.

[Anonymous]

My mom was depressed and a hoarder. She also made a point of dressing me in ugly, outdated clothes (have no idea why). I remember having to wear a bright green overcoat to school- it was strange and ugly, not your fashionable bright green.
I also remember I had to have a birthday party at my friend's house as ours was hoarded and no guests were allowed. I brought my own ingredients to that friend's house and her mom (bless her!) helped us cook the simple meal. My mom didn't bother to buy butter for mashed potatoes and gave me a can of tuna instead! Like, mix it in and it will be YUM (luckily she didn't offer to lightly fry it with spices ). I was mortified when I had to ask for butter from the friend's mom... I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but we all lived pretty frugally and it was like asking to supply red caviar or steak for my party...

The second thing I remember is when I was scheduled to have a routine home visit by my teacher and my mom told me come home with her, knock on the door, and when no one answers the door she would leave (I was supposed to say I forgot my key). I remember how I tried to carry out this "sophisticated" plot but broke down and told the teacher mom doesn't allow us any houseguests... I don't think there was any report or follow up, I think they just chalked it up to my mom's quirks or something...
Also, having to eat things that kind of went bad or were past the expiration date- not dangerous but they just didn't taste fresh anymore. Like old croutons and such!
She also made me take cold baths as they supposedly boosted my immune system...
At the same time, my mom took really good care of my education- went out of her way to prepare me for school, made sure I applied for a scholarship to a very good private middle school (where I was teased mercilessly due to my clothes- see above), she taught me the basics of a foreign language which I went on to study and know really well because I eventually won a study abroad scholarship.
I tried to find closure for all of this for quite a while until I realized fairly recently that she clearly had and still has a range of mental health issues... We are not close but I make a point to regularly send her a little money and call her about once a month...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad used to scream in my face that I was ugly. I was 4, 5 years old at the time.

When I was 9 he started screaming--in front of me and a houseful of guests we had for Thanksgiving--that I was ugly and "no one would ever take me to prom"--said in a tone that implied that not going to prom was, like, truly tragic.

When I got engaged to DH, I called my dad (my mom is dead) to tell him that "SoandSo proposed!" He snickered and said, "with what? a ring? to really get married?" like implying it was fake or DH was leading me on or joking me or something.

Dad is a shithead.

My dad would announce to the family if I had gained or lost any weight, opening up the floor for comments from my younger sisters. they'd buy cookies and ice cream and let me eat some every day and then scream at me for being "fat". I was actually always on the thin side but my family are very very thin and pretty while I was only thinnish and average. Dad and mom are shitheads here too.

This is the pp you quoted. Oh yes, I was chubby as a kid. Big surprise that this treatment developed into actual obesity later in life, but somehow I've managed to become college educated, professionally successful, married to a successful man, etc. What is odd is that everyone in my family is overweight/obese to some degree. I was hardly an outlier. I chalk it up to 2 things. One, my dad is abusive, period, and abusive people will beat you with whatever they can. Second, my family was very blue collar growing up, and my father could not conceive of a world in which I could, as a fat woman, be successful, since college/white collar life was beyond his imagination and also, apparently fat women never get married.

He is not completely out of my life. He should be. Especially now that I have children. However, I never see him in person or talk on the phone--emails only, roughly once every two months--and he's not allowed near my kids. It upsets him--he has mellowed out in his old age and is very lonely--but he knows I hold the upper hand. He often asks why I am so mean to him and "who raised me to be that way." You did, dad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad used to scream in my face that I was ugly. I was 4, 5 years old at the time.

When I was 9 he started screaming--in front of me and a houseful of guests we had for Thanksgiving--that I was ugly and "no one would ever take me to prom"--said in a tone that implied that not going to prom was, like, truly tragic.

When I got engaged to DH, I called my dad (my mom is dead) to tell him that "SoandSo proposed!" He snickered and said, "with what? a ring? to really get married?" like implying it was fake or DH was leading me on or joking me or something.

Dad is a shithead.

My dad would announce to the family if I had gained or lost any weight, opening up the floor for comments from my younger sisters. they'd buy cookies and ice cream and let me eat some every day and then scream at me for being "fat". I was actually always on the thin side but my family are very very thin and pretty while I was only thinnish and average. Dad and mom are shitheads here too.

This is the pp you quoted. Oh yes, I was chubby as a kid. Big surprise that this treatment developed into actual obesity later in life, but somehow I've managed to become college educated, professionally successful, married to a successful man, etc. What is odd is that everyone in my family is overweight/obese to some degree. I was hardly an outlier. I chalk it up to 2 things. One, my dad is abusive, period, and abusive people will beat you with whatever they can. Second, my family was very blue collar growing up, and my father could not conceive of a world in which I could, as a fat woman, be successful, since college/white collar life was beyond his imagination and also, apparently fat women never get married.

He is not completely out of my life. He should be. Especially now that I have children. However, I never see him in person or talk on the phone--emails only, roughly once every two months--and he's not allowed near my kids. It upsets him--he has mellowed out in his old age and is very lonely--but he knows I hold the upper hand. He often asks why I am so mean to him and "who raised me to be that way." You did, dad!

Holy shit the cat is in that cradle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom hit us more than a few times. I have a vivid memory of her covering my facial bruises with base make-up before my swim team awards banquet at our country club.
I think of incidents like this often, because I know these habits run in families. And my 11 year old pushes my buttons. But I just go into another room and shut the door. I don't ever want to hit him, and I don't ever have the urge. I hope it stays that way. If it doesn't I would get help right away

Ouch. My parents and grandparents (and other relatives) hit us all the time with hands, hairbrushes, wooden spoons, belts, etc., but it was always on the ass or the back of the legs.

My dad was pretty much out of control on the corporal punishment front - he'd hit us for the most trivial things that any kid would do, e.g., accidentally dropping food on the floor - and because I don't want to be like him I have refrained from any hitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:80s kid. I had minimal parental involvement. TV was my parent. My SAHM would complain that my extracurricular activities were too much of an inconvenience for her.

I was quite talented in the performing arts and won regional competitions and scholarships but eventually quit them all because I couldn't deal with my family constantly guilt tripping me over the fact that they didn't want to go to my performances (inconvenience... they'd rather watch TV at home).

As a pre-teen, I was guilt-tripped for getting scholarships to science summer camps. I always applied for scholarships because I knew they'd never be willing to pay for it... but they were willing to pay for their 5 cars.

Anyway, they were just really selfish parents. Ironically, they were very warm and kind externally but they thought that the child's life should revolve around their parents. Parents had no duty to their children. My parents interpreted my ambition as a rejection of them as parents (again, everything revolved around them).

I no longer speak with them and I'm very happy. I make a point of being supportive and involved in my child's life but I have to be careful not to overcompensate for my childhood.

My sister's piano teacher told her at one point that she had to find a new teacher because she was so good that he couldn't teacher anything else. He recommended a Juilliard trained teacher that was in a neighboring town about 30 minutes away. My mom didn't want to drive her so she quit piano. It's too bad because she was REALLY good. Who knows where she'd be now if she had stuck with it.


I qualified for a pre-Olympic team but I had to quit because my mom didn't feel like driving me. She was also a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:80s kid. I had minimal parental involvement. TV was my parent. My SAHM would complain that my extracurricular activities were too much of an inconvenience for her.

I was quite talented in the performing arts and won regional competitions and scholarships but eventually quit them all because I couldn't deal with my family constantly guilt tripping me over the fact that they didn't want to go to my performances (inconvenience... they'd rather watch TV at home).

As a pre-teen, I was guilt-tripped for getting scholarships to science summer camps. I always applied for scholarships because I knew they'd never be willing to pay for it... but they were willing to pay for their 5 cars.

Anyway, they were just really selfish parents. Ironically, they were very warm and kind externally but they thought that the child's life should revolve around their parents. Parents had no duty to their children. My parents interpreted my ambition as a rejection of them as parents (again, everything revolved around them).

I no longer speak with them and I'm very happy. I make a point of being supportive and involved in my child's life but I have to be careful not to overcompensate for my childhood.

I qualified for a pre-Olympic team but I had to quit because my mom didn't feel like driving me. She was also a SAHM.

My sister's piano teacher told her at one point that she had to find a new teacher because she was so good that he couldn't teacher anything else. He recommended a Juilliard trained teacher that was in a neighboring town about 30 minutes away. My mom didn't want to drive her so she quit piano. It's too bad because she was REALLY good. Who knows where she'd be now if she had stuck with it.

[Anonymous]

I was also hit a lot as a child. I remember when DH and I were first dating, he made some gesture with his hand while talking and I flinched like he was about to slap me. It really affected him, coming from a non-hitting family, and he still holds a small grudge against my parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You know, I was born in 1971. I had so many horrible sun burns and one time that I can remember, sun poisoning. I've been wondering, did they not HAVE sunscreen in like, 1980???

I have to admit I get really, really, really pissed when I think about all the times I got a HORRIBLE sunburn as a kid -- as in, bright red back and shoulders, screamed if you touched me, had to sleep on my tummy, giant patches of skin flaking off.

WHAT THE FUCK were my parents and grandparents thinking? SUNSCREEN EXISTED THEN. My kids today have NEVER had to suffer that.

Fucking dumbasses.

I agree. I remember many times as a very young child crying in my bed at night after a day on th beach because I felt like my skin was on fire and the sheets hurt. And now, as an adult, I'm paying the price. I've had several precancerous spots/moles excised. They say the most dangerous sunburns are the ones you get as a kid.

My mom grew up on a beach and she had tons of skin cancer. We were some of the only kids I know who got sunscreen applied in the 70s and 80s. Of course, we hated it and thought our mom was crazy because no one else had to put up with it. Seriously, I remember getting slicked with the white Coppertone from the brown plastic bottle with the little girl getting her bathingsuit bottoms pulled down by her dog as a fairly little kid (I was born in 1968 in California).

[Anonymous]

Oh my god, your mom wouldn't drive you to another town to a piano teacher or get up at the crack of dawn every day to drive to swim practice? You poor poor things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god, your mom wouldn't drive you to another town to a piano teacher or get up at the crack of dawn every day to drive to swim practice? You poor poor things.

I guess it's hard to understand when you have never had a talent.

[Anonymous]

I was paid to babysit others' children at age 11 and 12. Heck, I was a full time summer nanny for two kids at 13.

Me, too! But I still don't think that was a bad thing. I was pretty mature from the lack of helicoptery parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is he best thread ice read in a long time. Some of this stuff is straight up abusive and I'm sorry to those pps who had to live with it, but some of the other stuff is pretty funny (and shocking-hookers? Coke??)

I agree. I am reading form beginning to end. Positively enthralled!